3d Not Sheeran - Blog Posts

i ate sooo fvcking much these days that i'm planning a two day fast

hello lovelies! today is thanksgiving and i'm so scared because i have to eat so much. if i eat hardly anything then my family will get worried that im not eating again (which they'd be right but i don't want them to know!!). i'm at my aunts house but im still gonna try to purge as much as i can because im finally at my lowest weight (158lbs or 71kg which is still huge but im so proud of how much i've lost!). a lot of people my height (5'7/5'8ish) weigh what i weigh and they look skinny but the way that i carry my weight makes me look like a whale. i carry most of it in my hips and ESPECIALLY my thighs oh my fucking gosh i just look massive.

In my ED relapse era

I had to try "recovery" for a while if I want top surgery but they're not sending the referral until I see a neurologist for physical health issues so I'm going to relapse to lose as much weight as possible so I can start T sooner.

Can't fucking deal with this

I'm so fat it's ridiculous. And I have to spend a lot of time around my family which means eating.

I wish I never started antipsychotics - weight gain is the worst thing to ever happen to me. +25kg and I didn't even overeat (verified by every person in my life). Fuck this shit man

i immediately get humbled anytime someone mentions how they haven't eaten anything all day long bc whoopsie they forgot

like i have to deliberately ignore the hunger and they don't even have to think abt it like goshh

poemy rant

Nobody ever called me fat. Nobody ever said there was something wrong with my body, ever.

Yet I am the one who chose to inflict this mentality upon myself. My stomach and thighs suddenly doubled in size one day when I realized most of my friends carried smaller bodies. They never had to think once about losing weight because they were already naturally gifted with those bodies. They didn't have to eat less or exercise. But most importantly, they were happy with what they had. They weren't miserable like me, wishing I could cut the fat off using my bare hands.

It makes me sad whenever I see them snacking or buying a whole box of donuts at the grocery store just because they feel like it. They don't think twice about the calories and how much they're allowed to eat for the rest of the day. They even mock me for checking the calories every time and warn me about how many I'm about to ingest if I take a bite out of an unhealthy snack. They've repeatedly told me they don't see anything wrong with my body and how they wish they had thighs like me because theirs are too thin.

So why do I feel like this? Where did this come from? When did having a flat stomach and stick legs become my goals?

Nothing ever feels good enough anymore. I look at the scale some mornings and bawl my eyes out because it's not the number I want to see, even though I'm technically underweight. But I don't feel like that at all. I'll consider myself underweight when there is no fat left to jiggle when I run, and no extra skin to pinch or poke at. When I'm running so low on energy I can feel my brain shutting off, my legs trembling and ultimately collapsing. I'll be on the ground, limp and exhausted as I fall into a deep sleep.

I'll be desolate, but I'll be thin. I'll be happy in a bikini just like my friends, proudly showing off the body I worked so hard for.

Hopefully.

i just wanna have a friend that's just as disordered as me irl. We would talk without feeling judged and give each other motivation. it's rlly another pointless fantasy about having cool and understanding friends I wish could be with me.

ahh but for now i can only hope for someone like that to come along eventually. i kinda need them rn but it's fine I can wait.

being nervous/excited is the best laxative trust

my fav thinspo recently is just looking at belly button piercings bc hard work will pay off in cuter fits ♡

nothing beats the humiliation you get when you thought you were skinny until coming to school and so many people are thinner than you

house is full of food, so much fruit yet so much to eat before it goes rotten

and then they bought my fav sweets god is it hard to lock in 😭

best workout combo

for an hourglass, thigh gap definition and smaller wrists ♡

4 sets of 20 reps of weighted russian twists

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlmhc2DMp8w THIS VIDEOO BLESS HER HEART

these r the only things that made my waist and legs shrink soo much

ive been doing the workout almost daily since September n the twists since jan, those r perf for flattening ur belly

it takes motivation but u will feel so good after finishing this

i never knew that skipping meals was this easy

first few hours are tough and draining but I'm not actually hungry?? just rllyyy tired

i feel amazing ♡

haii if anyone has some mango mealspo cuz i recently got some i would love to hear it ty :33

Looking for mutuals to lose 5kg in April

My stats:

20 she/her

165cm/5’4

55kg/121lbs

I just need someone to do this with so I stay motivated and don’t binge

Preferably someone from Europe

My boyfriend told me he wants me to gain a little bit of weight

I’m speechless💀

Guys what should I doooo?

My 3d babes; any advice for when my stomach physically hurts/burns from hunger?

Are there any podcasts that are pro-ana or toxic?

I can’t fast anymore because then I feel so nauseous and get migraines and can’t get anything done…

I miss my fasting days before I became obese.

Control yourself.

Things to do Instead of eating!

• Go on a walk

• Read

• workout ( recommend Shirlyn Kim!)

• clean your room

• Take a Everything shower

• study

• go shopping or online shop

• Binge watch Movies

• talk someone

• Draw

• scroll on tik tok

• listen to music

• make a new playlist

• paint your nails

• write

• learn how to play an instrument

• hangout with some friends

• try a new makeup routine

• spend time with your pet

• sing

I’m so glad we only live once, cus I cannot do this shit again.

I bust every time I see the word “low-calorie” on anything

Life if calories didn’t exist :

When the numbers on the scale goes down:

i miss the days when eating three tubs of ben & jerry's was an aspiration rather than an incentive to jump off the roof

anorexics i am begging you to stop putting your thinspo in the binge eating tags please and thank you

skinnytok is actually making me laugh. why do they look so pleased with their little quotes as if they're original and not copy+pasted directly from pro ana tumblr.