I Miss The Days When Eating Three Tubs Of Ben & Jerry's Was An Aspiration Rather Than An Incentive To

nothing makes failure hurt more when it is genuinely all your fault.

could've sorted it. did i? no. am i allowed to whine about it? also no.

because i didn't do jack shit to stop it.

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

the adhd + intrusive thoughts combo is a fun one because these thoughts should be making me feel awful and anxious but then the adhd gets distracted by a window frame and then i forget to dwell on them

how much anxiety is normal before it stops being audhd and becomes an actual anxiety disorder

OCD symptom i struggle with but don't see talked about a lot: inability to trust your own memory and/or perception.

as an example: i put my headphones in my bag. i say im sure they're in my bag, but what if i imagined putting them in my bag? i have to check, so i stick my hand inside and grab them. but then i have to check *again* because what if i just so happened to have another object shaped and sized exactly like my headphones that i just forgot about? so i have to pull them out of my bag and look directly at them to fully confirm they were in my bag

this is a fairly benign example but this also happens with other worse scenarios for me and it's. not fun

the thing that pisses me off the most about this whole "haha trans men in womens bathrooms will make them reconsider" spin going around is that it basically pretends trans men and mascs of color dont exist and arent in very real danger

like, think about for even one second how, historically, white women have weaponized the perception of moc as inherently masculinely savage to get them killed for being threats to fragile helpless white girls

do you think the lady who calls 911 on black men birdwatching in the park is going to see a trans man of color in the womens bathroom and go "gosh! i never thought about it that way. you've really exposed the flaw in my arguement"? no. shes going to call security and that man will be brutalized or killed

(and dont even for a second think that woc will be safe either. i was getting side eyes and pointed questions long before i ever came out because my skin was brown and i had short hair. tmoc and our sisters arent fucking safe and we deserve better than being used as some white posters pithy "gotchya")

to the next person that says adhd isn't disabling i wish you a very week of isolation, binge eating, and getting kicked out of your job because executive dysfunction wouldn't let you do your work

and if you're not going to invite us, at the very least don't ask us to help you plan the fucking event.

it has happened so many times to me that my friends will ask for ideas about their parties and talk extensively and excitedly about their plans, only to turn around and make the decision for me that i'm not coming.

"i don't think you'd like it"

"it's going to be loud"

"i didn't think you'd want to come"

let me make my own mind up. don't put an answer in my mouth before you've even asked the question. and if you don't want me there at all, don't talk to me about your plans.

please invite your disabled friends to things.

"we didn't invite you because we didn't think you'd want to/be able to come" is not a kind statement.

just ask us. if we say no, then we say no. but what if we say yes?

parties, social events, theatre, cinema, theme parks, museums, whatever. if you're inviting the rest of the friendship group, invite your disabled friends too.

people with adhd give me some project/hobby ideas or good boredom cures because i have nothing to do in my life and i am hanging on by a thread

I am going to commit acts of wrath if i see one more person say "trans men/transmasculinity is not under attack"

THEY EXPLICITLY SAY THAT THEY NOW DEFINE TRANS MEN AS "biological women" IN THAT SHITTY UK COURT RULING

THEY ARE INCLUDING US BY FUCKING NAME IN THEIR HATRED

"why are trans men not targeted?" THEY ARE

THEY FUCKING ARE TARGETED

YOU THINK THAT BEING DEFINED AS A "biological woman" IS NOT HARMFUL FOR TRANS MEN

THATS WHY YOU THINK ITS NOT AN ISSUE

BC YOU THINK THAT TRANS MEN GETTING DEFINED OUT OF EXISTANCE BY CALLING THEM "biological women" IS NOT A PROBLEM