Latest Posts by biteofboredom - Page 2

it is possible for someone to be 'more disabled' than you, and that's okay. all it means is that they have higher support needs and their disability disables them more than yours does.

that is not an attack on your validity as a disabled person.

that does not mean that you are not disabled.

someone else's disability has no impact on your own. there will always be someone more disabled than you. that is completely okay.

You should start headcanoning characters as intersex

happy disability pride month to anyone who has a disability from a condition that “usually isn’t a disability”. happy disability pride month to people with disabilities that aren’t often understood by able-bodied people. happy disability pride month to people who don’t have any official diagnosis yet. happy disability to people whose “labs look completely fine”. wishing you peace this july.

poor memory is a huge deal and i wish people wouldn't diminish it by saying "oh yeah i can't remember what i had for breakfast lol."

i can't remember the first 10 years of my life. i can't remember entire days, weeks, months at a time. i can't remember entire people, i can't remember names or faces. i can't remember when things are scheduled for, my calendar app on my phone is booked to the max with reminders and task checklists. i can't remember when i moved into what home when, i can't remember important milestone dates like when i got or lost certain jobs, or when i started a new hobby.

that's what i mean when i say i have poor memory. poor memory is so scary for the person who has it. it's not a quirky thing, everyone forgets small details. memory problems are scary because you can go through entire events or days with no memory, or plan for things in the future that you can't recall ever even looking into or scheduling. it's not a funny haha kind of thing, it's serious, and it affects a lot of people in very unavoidable ways.

not being able to plan for appointments or work schedules, not being able to remember people's names or faces, not being able to recall whether or not you were present for something or whether or not you met someone, not being able to keep track of what's happening on what dates and losing track of items because you can't remember where you put them are all very real problems, and anyone dealing with them deserves to be taken seriously, and not diminished when they choose to speak up about it.

A little reminder that the "scary" neurodivergents belong in the community too. The ones with intrusive thoughts. The ones who seem self-centered.

The people with ocd, bpd, npd. Stuff like that. They belong here too.

I’m not gonna lie, the whole “what if a big, hairy trans man started using the women’s bathroom? what are TERFs gonna do then?” thing kinda pisses me off being used as some checkmate, because it insinuates that passing trans men would have any kind of power in that situation. If a passing trans man is forced to use the women’s bathroom, you know what will happen? Security will be called on him, he’ll be thrown out, and he’ll be forced to out himself as trans in order to avoid punishment, which will put an even bigger target on his back. He’s still going to be harassed. He’s still going to be forced into an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation, and he probably won’t avoid punishment anyway because the current laws in place are never going to favour any trans person’s defence over a cis person’s.

It also completely ignores trans men who aren’t “big and hairy” and don’t pass enough to be mistaken for a cis man. Non-passing trans men (or even men who look or sound effeminate enough to be suspected) who are forced to use the women’s bathrooms are still at a huge risk of harassment or even violence, especially young trans boys who are forced into their assigned bathrooms at school. Nex Benedict was literally murdered in a girl’s bathroom. Girls and women aren’t these inherently non-violent, peaceful and submissive beings (for one thing, that’s misogynistic). Trans men and boys get beaten up by them too, because most of us pre-T aren’t considered a threat, and we fucking die.

That’s not even to mention the trouble we already have in men’s bathrooms, because if we don’t pass, cis men will interrogate us on whether or not we’re “real men” and then sexually assault us if they discover we’re trans. Corrective rapes that trans men face is not something to be ignored, and I have trans male friends that it’s happened to who are lucky to be alive right now.

Bathroom laws will affect us just as much. The violence that trans women face is something that trans men can also relate to, and both need to be talked about without people categorising all trans men as “big, hairy, strong men able to beat up anyone who tries to threaten them” when that’s not the case like 90% of the time. Acting like passing trans men are just there to make TERFs look stupid, when TERFs are the ones who are violent towards us no matter how much we pass, is just diminishing our experiences.

the feeling when everyone has made every accommodation they can for me but i'm still making no progress is the worst because i can't blame the world anymore, the problem is just me

What are you supposed to do when you’re agoraphobic but you don’t have any hobbies to pass the time being inside the house?

I’m terrified of the outside world but I’m also terrified of being trapped inside with my own brain

I’m spiralling

how much anxiety is normal before it stops being audhd and becomes an actual anxiety disorder

can we normalize talking about how fucking debilitating agoraphobia is cool thanks

I am going to commit acts of wrath if i see one more person say "trans men/transmasculinity is not under attack"

THEY EXPLICITLY SAY THAT THEY NOW DEFINE TRANS MEN AS "biological women" IN THAT SHITTY UK COURT RULING

THEY ARE INCLUDING US BY FUCKING NAME IN THEIR HATRED

"why are trans men not targeted?" THEY ARE

THEY FUCKING ARE TARGETED

YOU THINK THAT BEING DEFINED AS A "biological woman" IS NOT HARMFUL FOR TRANS MEN

THATS WHY YOU THINK ITS NOT AN ISSUE

BC YOU THINK THAT TRANS MEN GETTING DEFINED OUT OF EXISTANCE BY CALLING THEM "biological women" IS NOT A PROBLEM

"just be yourself" small problem i don't know who that is

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

this is your reminder that just because intersex people, trans men, and people outside of the gender binary are not mentioned in bigoted policies about trans women does not mean that we won't be affected.

attacking the rights of trans women attacks the rights of all people with marginalised gender experiences.

(this statement does not take away from the very real danger these laws pose to trans women, it just highlights another issue that also needs attention. two problems can exist at once.)

On the topic of trans men experiencing erasure and other problems that are not talked about, we should probably talk about when we actually DO get recognized and it's usually the white skinny trans men who get the most recognition. Which, is awesome and I'm not complaining because getting any recognition is a win. But we need to start also having our black poc, asian, native, hispanic, etc brothers in mind if you have not done so already. They have been erased from history even more than us. The same goes for the fat plus size men, the men who don't pass either because they can't or just don't want to (which is valid!), the men who can't transition or feel comfortable in their agab body (which is also valid), the men who are femme presenting, the men who are butch, men who are disabled etc etc.

Listen to when your black poc, asian, hispanic, native, etc men SPEAK. Listen to them. Listen to the men who are severely underrepresented in our community. Don't you DARE tell them to sit down or shut them out when speaking up about their experiences as trans men. If you see it shut it down immediately! That toxic shit is not safe in our spaces and we will not be quiet about it.

Keep our brothers safe!

OCD symptom i struggle with but don't see talked about a lot: inability to trust your own memory and/or perception.

as an example: i put my headphones in my bag. i say im sure they're in my bag, but what if i imagined putting them in my bag? i have to check, so i stick my hand inside and grab them. but then i have to check *again* because what if i just so happened to have another object shaped and sized exactly like my headphones that i just forgot about? so i have to pull them out of my bag and look directly at them to fully confirm they were in my bag

this is a fairly benign example but this also happens with other worse scenarios for me and it's. not fun

I hate when people that aren't failing or losers call themselves that. so you're in uni, have a perfect body, a bf, you're studying, you have hobbies and you're a loser? ok. you can feel like one, can't control feelings right, but calling yourself one? please.

i miss the days when eating three tubs of ben & jerry's was an aspiration rather than an incentive to jump off the roof

to the next person that says adhd isn't disabling i wish you a very week of isolation, binge eating, and getting kicked out of your job because executive dysfunction wouldn't let you do your work

i wish more people understood that maladaptive daydreaming is not some fun quirky thing and it is genuinely difficult to live with

mental illness is supposed to be mental wtf is this aching pit in my chest

ever since I was a young lad I knew I wanted to be a middle-aged man with an undone tie around his neck who’s having a crisis so he goes to the bathroom to splash water on his face only to look up at himself in the mirror and wonder at the stranger looking back

i know anxiety and menstruation are used to dismiss many people's health problems but my god it makes it so fucking invalidating to exist as someone whose problems are genuinely caused by those things

my mental health problems are caused by my menstrual cycle. they're disabling and disastrous.

my anxiety is disabling, i cannot leave the house.

my anxiety was the cause of my chronic fatigue.

anxiety and periods are real, valid causes of suffering. we need to stop dismissing that. just because your problems might be caused by other conditions doesn't make problems caused by "just anxiety" any less painful to deal with.

anyone else with pmdd more cross at the fact it's their period causing their symptoms than the actual symptoms themselves

begging for pmdd resources to be written with gender neutral language. it's not a women's only condition. i'm unstable enough as it is i don't need to be driven to a dysphoric breakdown every time i look for help.

pmdd is having a little guy in your head whose solution to any and all issues is “just kill yourself” and you have to be like. sigh. NO, that’s not an option. and they’ll be like “…unless??” and it’s just that for a week and then they clock out and you wave to each other and say see you next month

The fearmongering around medical transition for transmascs will never not be upsetting to me.

“you’re gonna look ugly as a man” “but you’re such a pretty girl, don’t change that” Wrong. You will look different after T, but you will look happy. You will probably grow hair and gain weight and look pretty different, and none of that is bad or makes you less desirable. You are going to look like you and that’s all that matters.

“T makes you angry” “you’re gonna be a scary man i won’t feel safe around you” Wrong. Testosterone does not “make” you angry. Messing with your hormones will mess with your emotions for sure, but you will not immediately become some scary predator when you start T. Being a man/masculine does not make you a threat, a predator, or inherently angry. That’s radfem shit.

“bottom growth is gross” “no one will want you with bottom growth” Wrong. Bottom growth is cool and a LOT of guys end up loving theirs a lot more than they thought they would. For a lot of people it is a desirable trait, there are people who find bottom growth hot and attractive. And! If you’re sure you don’t want it there’s things you can do to work around that, just talk to your provider.

“bottom surgery is super painful and not worth it” First off, call it phalloplasty, because that’s what you’re talking about. Second, yes it’s painful, it’s surgery. There are risks to it and complications can happen, but that’s true of any surgery. Phallo might not be for you, but it is life saving care for other folks. It is beautiful and should be talked about as life saving care and not as some afterthought thing that no one actually does.

Being transmasculine is a beautiful thing. Transitioning medically is not something every trans person wants, but if you notice yourself holding back for the reasons i’ve listed above (or similar) maybe reconsider.

reminder to my fellow trans folks that it's okay to hate being trans.

it sucks. it's uncomfortable. it's painful.

trans joy and trans pride is very real and i'm glad it exists, but there needs to be more acceptance for those of us who don't experience it.

this 🤏 close to clawing out my ovaries with my nails