I’m Not Gonna Lie, The Whole “what If A Big, Hairy Trans Man Started Using The Women’s Bathroom?

I’m not gonna lie, the whole “what if a big, hairy trans man started using the women’s bathroom? what are TERFs gonna do then?” thing kinda pisses me off being used as some checkmate, because it insinuates that passing trans men would have any kind of power in that situation. If a passing trans man is forced to use the women’s bathroom, you know what will happen? Security will be called on him, he’ll be thrown out, and he’ll be forced to out himself as trans in order to avoid punishment, which will put an even bigger target on his back. He’s still going to be harassed. He’s still going to be forced into an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation, and he probably won’t avoid punishment anyway because the current laws in place are never going to favour any trans person’s defence over a cis person’s.

It also completely ignores trans men who aren’t “big and hairy” and don’t pass enough to be mistaken for a cis man. Non-passing trans men (or even men who look or sound effeminate enough to be suspected) who are forced to use the women’s bathrooms are still at a huge risk of harassment or even violence, especially young trans boys who are forced into their assigned bathrooms at school. Nex Benedict was literally murdered in a girl’s bathroom. Girls and women aren’t these inherently non-violent, peaceful and submissive beings (for one thing, that’s misogynistic). Trans men and boys get beaten up by them too, because most of us pre-T aren’t considered a threat, and we fucking die.

That’s not even to mention the trouble we already have in men’s bathrooms, because if we don’t pass, cis men will interrogate us on whether or not we’re “real men” and then sexually assault us if they discover we’re trans. Corrective rapes that trans men face is not something to be ignored, and I have trans male friends that it’s happened to who are lucky to be alive right now.

Bathroom laws will affect us just as much. The violence that trans women face is something that trans men can also relate to, and both need to be talked about without people categorising all trans men as “big, hairy, strong men able to beat up anyone who tries to threaten them” when that’s not the case like 90% of the time. Acting like passing trans men are just there to make TERFs look stupid, when TERFs are the ones who are violent towards us no matter how much we pass, is just diminishing our experiences.

More Posts from Biteofboredom and Others

1 month ago

It always hurts me to see people on here call 200kcals worth of food à “binge” because it’s not. A binge it’s a large (and I mean large by general social standards) amount of food that you eat in an uncontrollable way. Not a bit over your limit. We should bring more awareness to the effects of binging and what it actually is because stuff like this can be very alienating to those of us who actually struggle with this

4 weeks ago

Inside you there are two wolves…

Inside You There Are Two Wolves…
1 month ago

grabbing all trans men by the fucking shoulders oh my god. you are allowed to be angry. you SHOULD be angry. you should not have to clarify your words to death, going "i know i dont have it as bad, but-", or put yourself down, "haha yeah, men suck dont we?", you are trans, and you are worthy, and you belong in this fucking community and you deserve to have your voice heard.

trans men get fucking angrier

1 month ago

the moment an eating disorder isn't restrictive or doesn't "compensate" for behaviours that could lead to weight gain, nobody gives a shit. and it's exhausting.

as someone with binge eating disorder, i'm tired of being dismissed, humiliated, and ridiculed by everyone.

i've had psychiatrists tell me that my eating disorder isn't real and that i just 'have no self control'.

i've had anorexics call me a disgusting pig and use my mental illness as something to laugh at.

i've had bulimics say similarly horrible things, which is hypocritical given their disorder involves binging as well, but when i pointed that out they told me that 'at least they do something about it.'

binge eating disorder is horrible to live with. at the very least we could be given some respect.

tw: eating disorder mention (not abt me)

i feel like we dont talk about binge eating disorder enough. a lot of people talk about anorexia, a decent amount of people talk about bulimia, but ive barely heard people talk about bunge eating disorder. it's a very serious disorder, just as serious as anorexia and bulimia, yet it doesn't get as much recognition as it should. i find that odd.


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1 month ago

people who dont experience it cannot comprehend how awful executive dysfunction is. I WANT to do the task, i have the resources TO do the task, i will feel better having DONE the task

but i cant fucking do the task

1 month ago

You should start headcanoning characters as intersex

1 month ago

reminder to my fellow trans folks that it's okay to hate being trans.

it sucks. it's uncomfortable. it's painful.

trans joy and trans pride is very real and i'm glad it exists, but there needs to be more acceptance for those of us who don't experience it.


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1 month ago

I hate when people that aren't failing or losers call themselves that. so you're in uni, have a perfect body, a bf, you're studying, you have hobbies and you're a loser? ok. you can feel like one, can't control feelings right, but calling yourself one? please.

1 month ago

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

1 month ago

please invite your disabled friends to things.

"we didn't invite you because we didn't think you'd want to/be able to come" is not a kind statement.

just ask us. if we say no, then we say no. but what if we say yes?

parties, social events, theatre, cinema, theme parks, museums, whatever. if you're inviting the rest of the friendship group, invite your disabled friends too.


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