On The Topic Of Trans Men Experiencing Erasure And Other Problems That Are Not Talked About, We Should

this 🤏 close to clawing out my ovaries with my nails

nothing makes me more exhausted than remembering my pmdd is only going to go away with menopause and that i've got to deal with this for at least another 25 years

poor memory is a huge deal and i wish people wouldn't diminish it by saying "oh yeah i can't remember what i had for breakfast lol."

i can't remember the first 10 years of my life. i can't remember entire days, weeks, months at a time. i can't remember entire people, i can't remember names or faces. i can't remember when things are scheduled for, my calendar app on my phone is booked to the max with reminders and task checklists. i can't remember when i moved into what home when, i can't remember important milestone dates like when i got or lost certain jobs, or when i started a new hobby.

that's what i mean when i say i have poor memory. poor memory is so scary for the person who has it. it's not a quirky thing, everyone forgets small details. memory problems are scary because you can go through entire events or days with no memory, or plan for things in the future that you can't recall ever even looking into or scheduling. it's not a funny haha kind of thing, it's serious, and it affects a lot of people in very unavoidable ways.

not being able to plan for appointments or work schedules, not being able to remember people's names or faces, not being able to recall whether or not you were present for something or whether or not you met someone, not being able to keep track of what's happening on what dates and losing track of items because you can't remember where you put them are all very real problems, and anyone dealing with them deserves to be taken seriously, and not diminished when they choose to speak up about it.

people who've taken birth control (progesterone only) or ssri's to try to deal with pmdd how did it go and is it worth it

it is possible for someone to be 'more disabled' than you, and that's okay. all it means is that they have higher support needs and their disability disables them more than yours does.

that is not an attack on your validity as a disabled person.

that does not mean that you are not disabled.

someone else's disability has no impact on your own. there will always be someone more disabled than you. that is completely okay.

it really pisses me off and actually really hurts that i haven't seen a single kind or wholesome post towards trans men. it's always either people posting that they want to sleep with us or that we need to stay strong and whatever because of the hate targeted at us which is appreciated but like.. i already know that i and other trans men are valid and that we are hot but some of us really just need a hug and told that we are loved and cared about. i am tired and i know the rest of us are too

Having MADD also means that almost every week there's at least one occurence where I'm daydreaming and suddenly I go "and then my only friend in the world betrays me in the worst possible way" and then I start acting it out intensely until I end up bawling my eyes out for like an hour straight and actually wanting to harm/KILL myself over it

And at the end I'm like what the actual hell dude this situation never happened this person doesn't exist you were talking to yourself the entire time no don't harm yourself over that go drink some water you stupid sick idiot

Then I get up and drink water like

Can't believe I'm daydreaming so hard it gives me actual suicide crises I struggle to differenciate from the ones caused by my actual depression, MADD is actually putting me in danger uh

(Only to do it again the next day or something because it's a goddamn addiction)

What are you supposed to do when you’re agoraphobic but you don’t have any hobbies to pass the time being inside the house?

I’m terrified of the outside world but I’m also terrified of being trapped inside with my own brain

I’m spiralling

You know, not to be an asshole, but I hate that all the stories about eating disorders are about bulimia or anorexia. I have binge-eating disorder and there is not a one story about that. No manga, no webcomics, no films, no nothing. Not a fucking one. It's like bulimia and anorexia are the only eating disorders that exist in the mass consciousness. And it seems to always be contextualized in dysmorphia. Like... maybe I'm just fucked up?? I have BED that resulted from PTSD. (There was a period of fatphobia, though this is distinct).