Eating A Salad (anxiously)

Hold on, folks. Someone's at my door.

bruh one of the actors in a show I'm in just rage quit last night and I'm taking 3 of his parts

we open THIS THURSDAY

Just to let y'all know

the keebler elf is real & he fucks

Fun Fact

Did you know that if you jump and then crouch twice while peeing, you unlock the secret Get Piss Fucking Everywhere DLC?

I have gone into raptures.

For many moons I have reveled in my hellish court, free to content myself with the boundless comfort of knavery and mischief. But my influence is negligible, for what is a jester without an audience? What is a card without a crowd? I am but a servant to the unknown---a slave to a faceless void.

But not now. Now is my time to strike. A shot in the dark, a thump in the night: each blow against friend and foe alike is a blow struck for my right to a roguish and devious existence.

Tonight is the Night of Fools, and there is no greater Fool than I.

I am merely the jester of this court of revels. But tonight?

Tonight, I am King.

I JUST SAW A CYBERTRUCK IN THE WILD

I can blow you up with my death ray but only if you beg me

Why is April fools shaping up to be particularly nonchalant this year??? I was ready for chaos and now I get nothing???

PENIS LIKER

can you devious face this please

Blasphemy. That is not what I said.

OUR EARTH HAS MADE YET ANOTHER SLUTTY SLUTTY POLE DANCE AROUND THE SUN

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S, CHUCKLEFUCKS!!!! THIS YEAR'S GONNA BE A GOOD ONE!!!!!

THERE'S!!! NO!!! OTHER!!! OPTION!!!

@chronically-online-italian Oh, no! Whatever shall I do?!

AHAHAHAHAHA GET BONKED, IDIOT