Experience Tumblr Like Never Before
au where actually Thors hammer is sentient and just really picky about who it likes
only the purest of heart filled with righteousness can pick up mjolnir?
nah. the hammer is like a particularly snobbish cat, you have to lure it with promises of bloodshed and intellectual conversation
You: *on the phone* Wong? I need your help! I-
Wong: is the Sanctum on fire?
You: …no?
Wong: then it’s not an emergency *hangs up*
Wanda: well? what did he say? what do we do about the portal to hell in the living room?
You: apparently it’s not an emergency
Stephen: *being strangled by a demon* HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY??
Steven: Pigeon
Marc:
*Minutes later*
Steven: Dog
Marc: ??
*Minutes later*
Steven: Mouse
Marc: STEVEN WHY??
Steven: I like acknowledging their presence. Sometimes I wish people would do that to me. It makes me feel real
Marc:
---------- Next time Marc is fronting ------------
Marc, seeing Steven in a reflection: Steven
Steven: ?
Marc, seeing Steven in a puddle: Steven
Steven: Aw wait Marc are you- 🥺 thanks man
Marc:
Marc: :)
Mobius: Ugh, I can't believe were stuck in the same room.
Loki*the one who ate the key*: Yeah.. Sad, so sad.
*Ikaris and Sersi after a fight*
Sersi: We're home!
* Sersi and Sprite came in*
Ikaris: It's ten o clock. Where have you been?
Sersi: We stayed for the California water show, it was pure disney magic.
Ikaris: I was going to see that with her.
Sersi: How I was supposed to know that?!
Sprite: It's alright I see it again with you.
Ikaris: And I had food here and you said you we're going to call.
Sersi: I know, I know...
Sprite: I can still eat.
Sersi: No, you already throw up once, go put on your pj's and brush your teeths.
Sprite: Ok, but just don't fight..
Ikaris: We are not fighting.
Sersi: Just go.
* Sprite leaves*
Ikaris: Aren't you gonna thank Sersi for taking you to Disney Land?
Sprite : Thanks Sersi! *leaves happily.*
Sersi: You're welcome sweetie!
Ikaris: Do you want a cup of coffee?
Sersi: Ohh.. I should probably get going...
Ikaris: It's just a cup of coffee...
Sersi:Ok...
*Thena whispering to Gilgameshwho were watching that whole thing*
Gilgamesh: Yeah.. The whole thing seems a little twisted to me too.
Kingo *about to tear up*: I saw you and Sersi yesterday, holding hands.
Ikaris*nervous*: It's not what it looks like!
Kingo: YOU SAID YOU LOVED HER! HOW COULD YOU!
Ikaris: BECAUSE WE'RE FREAKING MARRIED!
Kingo*about to tear up*: No best-friend-fwelings?
Ikaris: No, just love love. Like I'm married to her type of love.
Kingo: Ok... So I'm still your best friend?
Ikaris: Always :)
*they hug*
Sersi: Sometimes this is too much.
Ajax:Come'on my child I'll make you some tea.
(Sets the kitchen on fire)
Kingo: We need an adult!
Ikaris: We are adults!
Kingo *looking horrified*: Oh..
Sprite: We need and aduliter adult! I'll go get KARUN!
Gilgamesh: Thena why are you covered with blood?
Thena:Is not mine..
Gilgamesh:Is that something I will have to worry...
Thena:Maybe...
*Karun filming for the documentary*
Kingo: Good responses for being stabbed in the back? GO!
Makkari *signing*: Rude.
Druig: Seems fair.
Ikaris:Not again.
Thena: Do you want it back?
Gilgamesh: Nice, where did you get this blade?
Sersi: Auch? That wasn't really nice of you.
Sprite: Finally a end to my eternal suffering.
Phastos: Just do it quickly, I have a lot to do.
*Ajax just dosen't know how to deal with this, too much to fix*
Kingo: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling "bummed out".
Sprite: Kingo you ignorant slut.
*When the Eternals argue*
Thena: Yeah! It's all a shame!
Gilgamesh: What is it, love?
Thena: I don't know, I wanted to feel involved.
Gilgamesh:May I join you?
Thena: Sure :)
Gilgamesh: All of this SHAME!
Ikaris: Are we filtring or are we fighting?
Sersi: I broke a fucking tooth, and we have no cash! What are you talking about!!
Ikaris: Still proving my point...Mix messages.
Ajax: No, Thena. You are way too dangerous without Gilgamesh, to take care of you.
Thena: Dangerous? Me? How so?
Ajax: I don't know does the disappearance of Atlantis rings a bell with you?
Thena: Oh come on, it was an accident!
Ajax: The leaning tower of Pisa?
Thena: I didn't see it.
Ajax: The area 51.
Thena:Oh, yeah. Okay I did go too far there.. But I was drunk.
Gilgamesh: Great point of view love.
Ikaris:How's the most beautiful person of the universe doing?
Sersi:I don't know, how are you feeling?
Ikaris:Dead...
Ikaris: You are mocking me, aren`t you?
Druig:Oh, no...No no. Hey Ikaris look the SUN!
*druig cries of laughter*
Ikaris: I hate you.
Jack: Uncle Druig, what's a thot? Druig*about to crack up*: A thoughtful person, kiddo.
*later at the dinner table*
Jack: Daddie can you pass the salt?
Phastos:Sure kid.
Jack:Thanks daddie, you're such a thot.
Phastos: DRUIG! What did you do?!
Kingo: Come on, dudes I never brag.
Druig: You once called your face the proof of god existence.
Kingo: I mean am I wrong?
Jack: Auntie can we play a snowball fight.
Thena: I've never been in a snowball fight before. I don't know the rules.
Jack: What?
Thena: Like is there a point system or is it to death?
Gilgamesh: Uhm...Phastos, can you come here a second?
Kingo * clearly drunk with a caset in front of Ikaris*
Thena: Gil, is this one of those situations I don't understand...
Gilgamesh: Yeah, I don't know well what is about to go down...
Kingo*sinning to Ikaris*: Hush, hush, hush. Blush, bush, blush. YOU'RE NOW MY BIG FAT CRUSH!
*Ikaris confused*
Kingo*sinning without pitching*: I'm single as I can be, you're single. Perfect for me.
Sersi*signing to Makkari*:Does he forgot about me?
Makkari*filming Kingo, making her shush with the other one*
Kingo: I'm gonna give you a bunch of reasons why you should date me.
Sprite*filming beside Makkari*:Oh, this is going to be good
Kingo*sininig while twearking*:Reason number one, I'm super hot.
*Now going to dance to Sersi*
Kingo: Reason number two she's super NOT.
Sersi:HEY!
Kingo:Shhh! Reason number three I'm all you got. And all you got is someone hot!
*Ikaris being a confused tomate*
Kingo: Fine you wanna check my resume, you wanna a background check. Okay, first name HOT and last name BITCH. Wanna get with me now? I got a big fat ass.
Ikaris*smiling awkwardly not knowing what do^*
Kingo*on his knees*:Please date me.
*Next morning*
Kingo: Gosh I was so drunk last night I don't remmember anything...
Druig*evil grin*: Karun the video.
Karun: Coming right trought sir Druig.
*Karun playing the video*
Kingo:Oh, no...
Ajax: I heard that you and Ikaris got into a argument, are you good Sersi?
Sersi: Yeah. I made him sleep on the couch. Can you believe he got the nerve to say that he loves me more! HOW DARE HE?!
Ajax: And where did you sleep? Because, you know you can come alway-
Sersi: Right next to that arse.
*Druig and Phastos drunk*
Druig: Do you notice that whatever Ikaris does pisses off everyone?
Phastos: Totally!
*Ikaris doing his own thing eating chicken*
Druig: Look at that bitch eating chicken like nothing.
Phastos: Why you eating chicken bitch?
*The eternals existing*
Phastos: This family wants to make me wanna murder people...
*Makkari beating the shit out of Ikaris still after what happened*
Sprite: I think you got him...
Makkari*signing while smashing*:You want what he's having?
Sprite: Not really, I'm good.
Makkari*signing while smashing*: Justice for DRUIG!
Druig*signing*: I love you so much.
Druig:I'm...wait for it...in...wait for it...love...wait for it...
*Sersi rolling her eyes while reading her magazine*
Druig: With...wait for it...a...wait for it...
*Sersi starting to loose her patience*
Druig: Certain... wait for it
Sersi *screaming a bit*: I know that you're in love with Makkari!
Druig: I don't love her ok?
*Sersi smashing the magazine to Druig*
Druig: Fine! I just miss her when she's not around, I think about her when I see something I know she would like, and I see her in slow motion...
Sersi: Please tell me you're hearing yourself.
Druig: Oh shit, I'm in love with her...
Ikaris: What I do is look a person up and down, and say "how you doing"
Kingo: Oh, please.
Ikaris: Hey, pretty how you doing?
*Kingo giggles like a teen girl*
Sersi: I'm done with this. I'm going to sleep. Ikaris, spoon with me. We need to huddle for the warmth.
* Ikaris going too Sersi*
Kingo: No, Ikaris is my best friend, he's going to spoon with me!
Sersi: I called first spoon, beside's he's my husband! Ikaris come over here right now!
Kingo: Ikaris, don't throw away a lifelong friendship for a one nigh spoon with angel pie over there.
Ikaris:Ok, enough! We are going to lay down and triple spoon like grown ups! Come'on bring it in!
Sersi: I might be in trouble.
Thena: Yes, Sersi you can come in.
Sersi: I can't believe she showed up to my dorm.
Thena: it's not like I'm doing anything in here..
Sersi: She can't show up like this, we just had a talk about daiting..
Thena: I really have a lot of work to do Sersi...
Sersi: So you don't wanna heard how Ajax showed in the middle of the night, while I was enjoying a post-coitus shower with fellow eternal Ikaris.
Thena: Ok sit. So you were in the shower with ew Ikaris. Poor thing.
Sersi: That's where you feel sorry for me? Ajax saw us.
Thena: Gilgamesh says " I'm sorry queen, wanna cake?"
Sersi: You told Gilgamesh!
Thena: Yeah... Was it wrong? You don't want the cake?
*In the ship of the Eternals going to Earth*
Druig *signing*:And who is he again?
Makkari*signing back*: That's Ikaris , the capitain.
Druig*signing while cracking up*: Really? Well he clearly didn't make a big impresion on me. Oh, I'm gonna have so much fun with this asshole.
*When Druig and Makkari started to date*
Kingo *signing*:So you know I had my older brother talk with Druig, we're I let things very clear.
Makkari *signing*:What is that?
Kingo*signing*:You know, the talk if he ever hurt you, I would hunt him down. And kick his ass.
*Makkari, Sersi and Thena laugh a lot*
Kingo*pissed signing*:What? What is the matter with everybody? I’m serious I would kick his ass.
*they continue to laugh*
Thena: Kingo, please my make up.
Sersi*signing*: He would kick his ass isn't it adorable.
Kingo*signing*: You're mean girls..