Give Up Your Bad Habits And Do Atleast One Thing Better Than Yesterday, Improve Yourself Day By Day,

If only my mom could understand this....she needs to stop comparing my worth according to my marks

“you were supposed to be loved in your being, not in your performance.”

I don't know what — I..,,well

DATE: 9-3-25

Aim:IIT BOMBAY,CS

1/100

I mostly did physics and a little bit of chemistry.I'm glad I've made the first baby step.

4:32 min on ypt

DATE : 10-3-25

Aim: IIT Bombay,CS

2/100

I started my day with watching my fav series for like 4 hours straight after that I had my lunch and then I got to work. I completed 1 whole chapter of maths.

5hr 3min on ypt

I do this thing where I want to talk to someone but i don't know what to say or how to start the talk......It's not anxiety or shyness or overthinking.....It's just lack of content in my case

lately I've been putting off so much work and I am getting so irritated. rn also I am writing this when i should be preparing for my tution test. hoepfully i get good marks.

I don't want to be a burden to my parents, I really really want to be their pride. The one who fulfills my and their dreams. I want to be a role model for my small brother so that no matter what he has me as the safety net. But here I am, I failed my exam, it's a first and I'm not even studying properly ,the exam is in 2 days and I am just so horrible. I couldn't even keep the promise I made to myself. What if everything turns out so bad that I can't even trust myself?

And that is what matters at the end

I cried yesterday sitting on my bathroom floor and I almost had anxiety attack (idk I felt so anxious and frustered and almost cried and my chest was feeling tight) when my best friend ignored and slightly humiliated me and I cried while writing the previous post.

I just hope I'm not in depression cuz I dont want to be in depression. I truly want to correct my life and i promise that I start with my studies.

I promise myself that there will be a day when I'll be content and there would be no sadness in my mind.

yk I was in 9th. and it was my PTM. i got 51/80 marks in maths during my half yearly's and obviously i was scolded so much much for it. my parents scolded me on the day i told them the result and till the PTM also they were taunting me about it and i used to just keep quiet because i felt it was justified as i used to go to maths tution as well. but on that ptm day my teacher just told my dad that i did great because before it i got 14/30 in the unit test and she just said that i did good, i improved because in the first unit test i was not able to score half marks but this i scored more than half and that is great. My dad did not resonate with thought but ma'am when you said that it literally made me cry i held my tears back but thank you so much for acknowledging it. thank you so much this literally made me cry. that's my life now crying while remembering every short little good thing a stranger has done for me. it's sad because i can't remember anything of my parents. but i know my dad would protect me and take my side against others but i can't say the same about my mom. because all throughout my childhood she has always taken my cousins side and never mine and i've always felt jealous because my cousins used to have their mothers supporting them and MY mom too. and then they used to make fun of me and i was all alone

why was my childhood so freakin sad? i used to think i was a happy kid and i used to never cry. i can say with confidence that i have never cried from the age of 9-13 but why are those incidents coming to me now? why am i crying because of them NOW? it's been so long why the fuck are they bothering me now of all times when i am at my lowest. god just help me out. at this point i don't about my sadness i just want to fulfill my goals. as long as i go to IIT Bombay(CS) away from my house. I'll be fine.

I needed this

✧˖° how to stop self-sabotaging your success (and finally commit to doing the work)

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hi angel, mindy here. let’s talk. because i know you want this. you want to be that student who shows up for herself/himself. you want to stop making excuses. you want to feel proud of yourself when this is all over. so why do you keep putting up roadblocks in your own way? why do you keep pulling yourself away from the very thing you know you need to do?

self-sabotage is not laziness. it’s fear, it’s perfectionism, it’s comfort, it’s this deep, quiet resistance that whispers, what if i try and fail? so you never fully try.

but guess what? we’re breaking that cycle today. right now.

✧˖° the illusion of "i’ll do it later"

procrastination is a liar with a pretty voice. it tells you that you’ll do it when you feel more ready, when you’re in a better mood, when the circumstances are just right. but the truth? later is just a hiding place.

so next time you catch yourself saying “i’ll do it tonight” or “tomorrow is better,” stop. ask yourself: what makes later better than now? if you don’t have a solid answer, it’s just fear talking.

✧˖° you’re scared of what happens when you actually succeed

self-sabotage isn’t just about the fear of failure. sometimes, it’s the fear of what happens when you actually get what you’ve been working toward.

because success? means expectations. it means proving that you can do it again. it means stepping into a version of yourself that no longer has excuses. and that can be terrifying.

but here’s the truth: the version of you that’s waiting on the other side of this work? she’s not a stranger. she’s still you, just with more proof of what you’re capable of.

✧˖° your study habits are built around guilt, not discipline

if studying always feels like punishment, if your entire academic routine is built around the feeling of “i should be doing more,” of course you’re going to resist it.

so let’s shift this. instead of studying because you have to, start studying because you deserve to succeed. because you want to feel prepared. because the version of you who walks into that exam room with confidence? deserves to exist.

make studying feel like an investment, not a punishment. romanticize it. find ways to make it an experience you don’t want to run from. pinterest is your best friend, studytok is your motivator and me (@glowettee is your mentor 😉)

✧˖° you wait for motivation instead of creating discipline

motivation is like a guest who shows up unannounced. sometimes, she arrives when you least expect it, and sometimes, she ghosts you for weeks.

discipline, though? discipline is the friend who always shows up. she’s reliable. she doesn’t wait until she “feels like it.” she just does it, because that’s who she is.

so stop waiting for motivation to hit like some kind of magical burst of energy. instead, set up routines that make studying non-negotiable. that make it feel natural. like brushing your teeth, like making your bed, like second nature.

✧˖° self-sabotage is a pattern. patterns can be broken.

if you’ve spent years avoiding hard work, of course your brain is going to resist when you suddenly decide to commit. your instincts are wired to avoid discomfort.

but the good news? self-sabotage is a learned habit. which means you can unlearn it. every time you choose to sit down and do the work, even when you don’t want to, you are rewriting your patterns. you are proving to yourself that you are not the same person who gives up.

and eventually? showing up for yourself won’t feel like a battle anymore. it will feel normal. it will feel like who you are.

✧˖° this is the moment you choose differently

look, you can close this post and keep doing what you’ve always done. you can keep waiting for some magical day when it all feels easy. or you can make a decision, right here, right now.

you can decide that you are done getting in your own way. that you are done letting fear win. that you are done delaying your own success.

because the version of you who is already succeeding? she is not far away. she is right there, waiting for you to step into her shoes.

it’s time, angel. show up.

love you all sooo much <3 i hope this post can help you understand; self-discipline > motivation

with love, mindy