noteffective008
65 posts
Latest Posts by noteffective008
"why did the ring mostly affect frodo and not bilbo who had it for a gazillion years" objectively has a textual answer but i think the best answer is that sauron just likes bilbo more than frodo
bilbo: *uses the ring to hide from his relatives*
sauron, remembering almaren: yknow. real.
"Fandom isn't perfect" bullshit have you ever hung out with the Silmarilion fandom? Tolkienites are already chill as fuck but the Silm girlies are elite. No drama, no shipping wars, no antis. THRIVING incest community. The fanfic is BIBLICALLY good. Just a bunch of phenomenal artists drawing elf yaoi in perfect harmony and we could learn a lot from them
i would pay several hundred dabloons to see orlando bloom play a book-accurate legolas. i completely understand how they probably had to tone his character down or else he would’ve taken all the spotlight lol, but can you imagine orlando bloom fucking SCREAMING at the sight of a balrog
really underrated part of the LotR films is when gollum gets exposition lines. like can you imagine? you're travelling with the most fucked-up evil little murder greyhound creature imaginable and he lives in a cave and doesn't know about potatoes but from time to time you have to ask him about local geopolitics. and he answers you
Celegorm: I think I'm forgetting something. Huan: Morals? Celegorm: No, not that. Something that's actually important. Huan:
Beren: I'm going to fight god.
Luthien: Not without me you're not.
"NO DWARVES IN MY FOREST 😡"
"Your wife is hot."
"...THIS ONE DWARF WITH IMPECCABLE TASTE CAN STAY"
Sauron, watching someone run like a bat out of hell from Ungoliant: haha what a fucking idiot
Sauron:
Sauron: wait. that's my idiot!
“i never see you at the club” ok well i never see you on ao3 at 2am reading about the same two bitches falling in love for the 1000th time in the 500th way
The moment Feanor decides to kill the Teleri
Finwe, at his wedding with Indis: And now my dear friend Olwe will give a speech for us.
Olwe, stepping on the stage, smirking: Welcome back everybody!
wdym i can't hug that guy that hangs on that mountain on his one hand? he's just a little girl
Tolkien writing kingdoms' moral decay and eventual decline: they exploited nature, destroyed forests and cut down trees
Tolkien writing male characters' moral decay and eventual decline: he stopped listening to his wife
Silmarillion Sexy Man Tournament
Have you ever wondered who REALLY is the sexiest guy in the Silmarillion? No? Well, start wondering.
The Silmarillion Sexy Man poll will be a bracket style competition to see who truly is the sexiest guy from Silm! Currently there are 48 contestants, listed below.
Finwë, Thingol, Fëanor, Fingolfin, Finarfin, Maedhrod, Maglor, Celegorm, Caranthir, Curufin, Fingon, Turgon, Finrod, Angrod, Aegnor, Glorfindel, Ecthelion, Beleg, Mablung, Eöl, Celeborn, Maeglin, Gwindor, Turin, Tuor, Eärendil, Voronwë, Sauron, Manwë, Melkor, Orome, Tulkas, Orodreth, Celebrimbor, Bëor, Androg, Ar-Pharazon, Elrond, Elros, Dior, Beren, Hurin, Huor, Isildur, Elendil, Eönwë, Mandos, and Ulmo
Don’t see your favorite blorbo on there? Don’t worry, I probably just forgot they existed. Shoot me an ask, and I will add them to the list! Polls will start likely in the next few days. Each character will randomly be paired up with another to ensure fairness, but popular characters may be paired up with eachother to give less popular characters a fair chance. This poll would be really boring if Maedhros and Sauron instantly won just for being popular.
Short FAQ:
Which characters can I nominate?
Anyone not on the list, as long as they feature mainly in The Silmarillion. For example, characters like Glorfindel is allowed since he plays a major role in the events of The Silmarillion, but Gandalf would not be allowed because he mainly features in LOTR, and this poll focuses on The Silmarillion.
Where are the women?
Don’t worry, women will get their seperate Silmarillion Sexy Woman Tournament after this one ends. I didn’t want to include them because they would just lose round one and that’s not fun for anyone.
Lúthien Tinúviel and Huan defeat Sauron at Tol-in-Gaurhoth
(acrylics on paper - details here)
Do y'all ever read a fic so good that it makes you want to elevate your own craft and also befriend the writer? It's almost like, "Hi! You write so well that you've inspired me to embark on a creative training arc. Also, can I yell about the character in your dms because you get it?"
I’m so easily persuaded into a ship. All I need is one good piece of artwork and I’m like, yeah I see it. I approve.
Something something about Curufin really resembling Fëanor. Sometimes Curufin catches his brothers looking at him weirdly. Like, really weird. Maglor standing in the doorway with tears in his eyes while Curufin plays with Tyelpe, softly singing the same songs Fëanor used to hum to them as kids. Or Maedhros going completely silent—teary-eyed silent—after Curufin delivers a fiery political rant they absolutely don’t agree on. Tyelko weirdly saying a soft “thank you” (with a smile, no less) when Curufin quietly replaces his worn-out arrows with new ones. Even Caranthir showing up at the forge, saying nothing at all, just standing there until Curufin asks what’s up and all he says is, “I like watching you work.”
It used to weird him out. Now he kinda gets it. They weren't looking at him at these times... they were seeing echoes. He accepts it. His brothers' pain is the same as his.
Haleth: heavy is the chest that bears the tits, or however that saying goes.
Caranthir: ...not like that.
Peter: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?
Peter: I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of Us.
Peter: I also want to softhack his circuits.
Tony: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.
Nelyo: Eru Iluvatar is the Allfather. He lives in the skies and answers our every prayer.
Káno: Even mine?
Nelyo: Especially yours! ^_^
---- later ----
Káno: Sky daddy! Please hear me and give me a sweet baby brother like Findekáno!
Eru:...
Eru: My name is Iluvatar, not sky daddy.
Káno: potato, potáto.
Eru:... :-|
Eru: *Gives him Tyelko*
Finarfin: This is a reminder that sword fighting in the hallways is still a code of conduct violation.
Finrod the ✨💍Faithful ❤️❤️✨
Fingon the 🏹 🐎Valiant 🪽⚔️
Maedhros the... well... erm... he's kinda tall ig(?)