OMG I Was ⭐ing So I Made A Huge Meal (bigger Than The One Of Today Episode) And I Couldn’t Even Start

DAY 20

5 years ago It worked It became an obsession I couldn’t stop I started to r3cøvered, felt happy and starting to get better (in a good way) I r3l@psed ✌️

My head not spinning, the earth is. Science

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 👑

Breakfast~ 1 ice Americano Lunch~ steamed vegetables with roasted chicken and creamy mushroom sauce + 1 ice Americano Snack~ smoothie bowl +passion fruit drink

Total:~ 1400

Love when bødy dysmørph!@ is in vacation

Please stay where you are and don’t come back☺️, the longer the better <33 …. That’s what she said

I know it’s normal to get bløated and a little bit bigger during your period which leads to a temporary w3!ght gain… BUT WDYM I FEEL LIKE A HIPPO HEYDWHEJDNKAN??🦛

And I have to step on a sc4le in 2 FCKING DAYS !!! Imagine.. just imagine.. if the cøll@rbønes I’m seeing RIGHT NOW are just an illusion due to my důmb, deficient, m3nt4lly ill emotional sponge that serves me as a brain??

I think I going crazy, this is irrational thinking but I can help freaking out aaaaaaah

DAY 7

At the time, it was for the attention of other, I was craving validation. I wanted to stop people jokes about the way I looked and getting some kind of revenge I guess (I wasn’t fat nor skinny they were just mean + bød¥ d¥smørph!@ didn’t help) Now it’s more like an obsession helping to stop overthinking and numbing my feelings. I don’t do that for people, actually I don’t want them to notice nor asking questions, the “looking” part is just additional motivation because it’s just not the main purpose this time And actually it’s working, I’m feeling less miserable than 2~3 weeks ago so happy 🧚✨

DAY 13

Really don’t know, maybe video and blogs.. ?

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 🌱

Breakfast~ 2 ice Americano + Greek yogurt with corn and 1 egg + soya milk Snack~ spicy cheesy sausage + Egg salad wraps Lunch~ scrambled eggs with mushrooms sauce on focaccia and 1 chicken sausage + 1 ice Americano Dinner~ 1 gado-gado with kerupuk

Total:~ 1500-1600

My final goal is to still remain the sociable, always smiling friend 🌼 Faking 3@ting like I don’t fear it and laughing with the people I love None of them will notice and I’m so fine with that I don’t want to stop caring for them, they deserve the entire world I will not become the mean b!ch or the ghost of the friend group I didn’t r3l@pse because of them so they don’t have to suffer from the sh!t I put myself into I accepted the love they gave me and started trusting them without questioning their sincerity Having them entering my life is the best thing that ever happened to me They are the reason I didn’t r3l@pse sooner, always showering me with endless affection I really thought I was healed for good but I just can’t handle myself alone more than 1 MONTH APPARENTLY The funniest part is that they don’t even know that they were my biggest support I only need their presence and voice to feel better 💐 I’ll achieve this and step out being the best version of myself For me and for them🧚

Faking the spark that is fading ⭐️

My period make me say my deepest feelings lmao

Please stay safe everyone, at least try to not lose yourself to the point of losing and hurting the people you love.. they don’t deserve it <3

body dysmorphia core