ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 💋

I wake up and I feel sick, like I wanna thrøw⬆️

ON TODAY FØØD EPISODE 🐊

Breakfast~ 1 ice Americano + 1 egg Lunch~ spicy cheesy sausage + 1 apple Snack~ 1 ice Americano Dinner~ homemade protein sandwiches (it looked prettier in my head lmao) + Greek yogurt and fruit (1/2 apple and some red grapes)

Total:~ 1200

I feel better than yesterday, I was able to r3str!ct myself a little bit more but finding the right balance with protein 🌼

ON TODAY FØØD EPISODE ♟️

Breakfast~ 1 ice Americano Lunch~✖️ Snack~ 1 ice Americano + 1 peanuts salad with balsamic yogurt sauce + mini tempeh goreng Dinner~ Protein Kick salad with kimchi + chicken broth with shirataki noodles and tofu + 1 orange juice

Total:~ 1100

GUYYYYYS I’M SO HAPPY!!

I found a place (salad on the second picture) where they give the amount of c@l for each of their dish, it’s not expensive and doesn’t go above 500 !!? (This salad was 350) + It looks AND TASTES so GOOD <33 50 on the sc@l3 here I come !

Take my money lmao 😂

i am soo back and so motivated

WDYM I have more strength now ?? I mean I’m happy with it but the rationale part of my brain don’t understand right now

DAY 28

Right now I’m just restr!ct!ng and sometimes f@sting when I feel like it I didn’t change my sport routine since it was already settled and I like it as it is

But I used to do a little bit of everything.. I was stuck in the cycle of ⭐️ing, over exercising, b!ng!ng, purg!ng again and again and again until last year Or maybe it was 2 years ago?? I don’t remember, my notion of time is kinda messed up lol A little mix of b3d and m!@.. lovely

I know it’s normal to get bløated and a little bit bigger during your period which leads to a temporary w3!ght gain… BUT WDYM I FEEL LIKE A HIPPO HEYDWHEJDNKAN??🦛

And I have to step on a sc4le in 2 FCKING DAYS !!! Imagine.. just imagine.. if the cøll@rbønes I’m seeing RIGHT NOW are just an illusion due to my důmb, deficient, m3nt4lly ill emotional sponge that serves me as a brain??

I think I going crazy, this is irrational thinking but I can help freaking out aaaaaaah

MY COLLARBØN3S ARE SHOWING MORE AND MORE!!! AAAAAAAAH What a great day

I LITERALLY need to 3@t MORE than those FKING 800 if I don’t want to gain EVERYTHING back AAAAAAAAAAH

I don’t find the time tho.. aaaaand I’m not really hůngry either like- what am I supposed to do?

DAY 4

UGW: 40

I never been to this point, people started worrying before I could. I think that’s because I’m short and when I løs3w3!ght it’s rapidly noticeable. My lw was 41 or something (or little løw3r [?]) I don’t remember. It was 5 years ago. But I think my ugw is more to tell myself to not go løw3r.. I don’t want to worry people again and being forced into “r3cøv3ry” one more time. I don’t want to see my parents' teary eyes and watch my father delaying the moment he has to go to work just to make sure I 3@t something.. it really broke me at the time. At the time, I didn’t realise that it could impact other around me that way and I don’t want my friends and relatives to go through this once more just because I kinda f~ck3d up again. When I come back, if people ask me, I’ll just say “Did I? Idk.. I guess I’ve just been really active in the past month :)” which is actually the reality soooo half lies half true haha

But yeah that’s the reason my ugw isn’t løw3r sorry for this self centred story, thank you for reading it <3