WDYM I Have More Strength Now ?? I Mean I’m Happy With It But The Rationale Part Of My Brain Don’t

DAY 13

Really don’t know, maybe video and blogs.. ?

Idk what to expect from the sc@le and it’s k!ll!ng me right now

I’m so scared

DAY 19

Yes a couple, and they all reacted differently

My family was worried a lot especially my parents, they tried to do their best

My best friend at the time scolded me (it was funny not in a harsh way)

One of my dear friend noticed and told me out of nowhere “you gonna 3@t right?”

Some of my other friends understood because they were struggling or struggled with something similar but kept an eye on me just to be sure I was okay

I have this friend that I love so much but don’t see that often, who told me that the fact that I was leaving for 4 months was worrying because maybe I could rel@pse… they couldn’t been more right AHAHAHAH do they see the future or something??

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 👑

Breakfast~ 1 ice Americano Lunch~ steamed vegetables with roasted chicken and creamy mushroom sauce + 1 ice Americano Snack~ smoothie bowl +passion fruit drink

Total:~ 1400

I know it’s normal to get bløated and a little bit bigger during your period which leads to a temporary w3!ght gain… BUT WDYM I FEEL LIKE A HIPPO HEYDWHEJDNKAN??🦛

And I have to step on a sc4le in 2 FCKING DAYS !!! Imagine.. just imagine.. if the cøll@rbønes I’m seeing RIGHT NOW are just an illusion due to my důmb, deficient, m3nt4lly ill emotional sponge that serves me as a brain??

I think I going crazy, this is irrational thinking but I can help freaking out aaaaaaah

I wake up

No bloating

No sadness

And the light defining the h!ps bønes that’s start showing

What a great great day 🧚

DAY 6

Cassie (skin)… do I really need to explain?

Chinatsu Kano (blue box) I see her and I’m like, you look like my teenage self..

Rapunzel (Rapunzel) arty girl that want to be free and make her life look and feel like a party. Romanticise every little thing to make your life more fun

Jo & Amy March (Little Women) a mix of the two really because of their determination but the way they are so human, some of their actions and words resonate and they ask themselves questions that I ask myself everyday

Yeah I know that five not three but ik what idc hehehe

Since I r3l@ps3d I løst something like 5 cm around my w@!st and 3 around my biceps (my upper arms are my biggest insecurity) !!!

AAAAAAAH I’M SO HAPPY

Remember that you can gain a bit of w3!ght but compare it to your m3@sur3ments can help you not freaking out

DAY 24

If a m3t@bday count as a ch3@t day then yes

I do it because I don’t want to go back to the mentality state that I was 5 years ago but it’s actually really hard for me to 3@t so much in 1 day

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 🐣

Breakfast~ 3 coffee + chicken and veggies + 1 omelette + fruit platter + 3 little cakes + 3 little tempeh mendoan and 2 croquettes Snack~ nuts mix + 1 ice Americano + 1 coffee Dinner~ 1 nasi goreng

Total:~ 1900-2000

First day of my period and a 5h hike, yeah better not r3str!ct today If I count everything my body burned at least 800 more than usual which means more than 1/3 of my maintenance + I really don’t care as long as it can prevent me from getting sick lmao I feel really weak right now