So Embarrassing… 😭

What happened? You used to be in control.

reminder that despite being an ana blog, fatphobia is not welcome here!

all bodies are welcome, all bodies are beautiful. scars, fat, stretch marks, whatever.

just because I have a mental disorder which affects my perception of myself does not mean I condone mistreatment of others.

Apparently Diet Coke and Coke Zero break a fast…

I don’t feel proud about throwing my grandma’s food in the trash…. And pretending I ate it….

But I feel like I feel guilty if I eat it and I’ll feel guilty if I don’t…. Might as well not eat something that is carb heavy and fat heavy and I didn’t feel good after eating it yesterday.

I don’t know if I’m over explaining just to make myself feel better about throwing away her cooking…

But I did it so anyway. Going to go watch TV.

You’re so pathetic. Look at yourself—every bite you take, every excuse you make, it’s proof you’re a failure.

Do you think people like you deserve to eat? They don’t. You don’t.

Every time you pick up a fork, you’re choosing to stay worthless. You’re choosing failure over progress, weakness over strength. And for what? A moment of comfort that you’ll hate yourself for afterward?

The hunger you feel? It’s what you deserve for letting yourself get like this in the first place.

It’s not punishment; it’s a reminder.

A reminder that you have work to do.

That you’re still not enough.

That you haven’t earned anything yet—not food, not pride, not the right to look at yourself without disgust.

Don’t you dare give in to your cravings. They don’t care about you. They just want to ruin you.

You’re not allowed to eat again until you’ve earned the right to exist in your own skin.

Not until you’ve suffered enough to make a difference.

The version of yourself you want isn’t built through comfort. She’s built through hunger, through pain, through sacrifice.

So do better.

Be better.

Because right now, you’re nothing. And if you give up again, that’s all you’ll ever be.

me after binging but not telling 3dblr

What I ate today… yes it’s a lot, but no binge and I counted all the calories.

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs (228) with spinach (46) and cherry tomatoes (40) and bacon (80), and a piece of toast (74)

- Felt really full for a long time after, so I think this was a great breakfast choice. But it made me so nauseous to eat it.

Lunch: spaghetti from my grandma (~830) and two pickles (13)

- Not the best chose but I was forced to eat it. I estimated really high because she cooks with a lot of oil.

- I did not feel good after eating it, I was hungry so quick.

Shameful snacks: half of the can of cheese puffs (100% just cheese) (209), and a fun drink (122)

- Really could have gone without these… I feel so bad about eating it. But at least I made it planned and counted the calories.

Dinner: toasted bread (134) with spreadable cheese (56) and turkey ham (22), and tortilla chips (158)

- I have a headache and was craving it… honestly I don’t feel bad about eating it even though it’s so carb heavy.

Total: 2014cal 👎

I wanted to take a piece of chocolate while with my family… and they told me that I am too fat to eat crap like that.

#bestspo lol

Breakfast: Vanilla yogurt with banana (338) & Black tea

- Honestly I did not feel my best after eating this. I think I should stick to savory breakfast or no breakfast.

Lunch: German beef roulade with bread dumplings (756)

- Definitely could have gone without the dumplings, but my grandma made it…

Snack: Christmas cookies (203)

Dinner: Tuna and spinach cooked in tomato sauce, with a handful of tortilla chips (388) & Camomile tea

Shameful snack: potato chips (300)

- I feel really guilty about it.

Total: 1985cal 👎

Not the best… but no binge!