Did A Pilates Class This Morning And I Sweat Like A Fucking Pig, I Feel Disgusting. But At Least All

Are you really gonna eat that?

I mean, sure, go ahead. Just don’t whine about how fat you are later, it’s your fault that you have no self control.

Why are you crying about being fat when you’re the one who is deciding to eat like a pig? Stop making excuses, there’s no one to blame except you.

If you really wanted to get skinny then you would’ve actually put the effort in instead of shoving food that you clearly don’t need down your fat throat, and to make it even worse; you do that willingly.

If you really “didn’t mean to” eat that, you wouldn’t have.

your disorder is still valid if you:

- aren’t uw

- don’t fast

- do high res

- have never fainted

- labs are okay

- like food

- binge / “lose control”

- don’t exercise

- don’t purge

- eat sweets / junk

if your thoughts and behaviours around food cause you significant distress, you have an ed.

Reminder for future me:

Binging will NOT make you happy and will NOT fix anything. Binging will bring so many tears and nausea and bloating and the food won't even taste good because you shove it down your throat too fast.

I feel like shit right now after yesterdays binge and you do NOT want to feel this way. You DON'T want to binge.

And remember that a binge won't ruin anything. You just have to push through afterward. Remember future me, remember how long I had to fast and how the lax cramps felt in addition to the guilt

YOU DO NOT WANT TO BINGE

I can’t fast anymore because then I feel so nauseous and get migraines and can’t get anything done…

I miss my fasting days before I became obese.

𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐡𝟒𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐬.

to whoever sees this, please do not report 4n4 blogs. i cried this morning when i woke up and saw mine was gone. i had an anxiety attack in class an hour later and when i got home i cried more and then ate a pint of (diet) ice cream and considered sh for the first time in years. these blogs are h4rm reduction. everybody here encourages recovery, but a lot of us aren't ready for that ourselves. having a community takes away some of our isolation and self loathing, which at times is the hardest part. 4n4 is the most lethal health condition, and the majority of deaths are from su1c1de, not st4rv4tion.

in the few hours i spent without my blog, i spiraled far worse than any of the time that i had it, and that's as someone with a community outside tumblr. i fear for the people with no support system besides this.

you aren't helping us, you're k1lling us.

WIEIAD: 03.01.2025

Morning snack/kind of: Apple flavored soda (6)

Lunch: Tortilla (193) with cheese (70) and ham (64), and some little chocolate pastries (275)

- Was meh

Afternoon snack: An apple (55)

Dinner: A slice of sourdough bread (222) and egg salad (114), and I also had some coffee liqueur (75)

Total: 1074 calories

I think I did pretty good and I wasn’t hungry at all between meals!

Evening weigh in: 117.8kg (Lost!! 🩷)

my tumblr is my private secret account

I binged and now I’m crying in bed

Wanted to introduce myself;

You can call me Tess.

Used to roam the digital streets of edtblr and edtwt before it was even cool. Then I tried to recover… and even though I was never skinny, I am now bigger then I’ve ever been.

Overweight my whole life… to mia… to different font of mia… to bed… to being obese pipeline.

I really tried losing weight the healthy way… but bed is kicking my butt.

cw: let’s round up to 120kg

Looking for friends, mutuals, anyone who wants to cry together

In my mid-20s, so under 18s please don’t follow me.

What happened? You used to be in control.