amaranthtwilight

Latest Posts by amaranthtwilight

yesterday i was ringing up an old man at work and he asked if i wanted to see his pride and joy, pulled out his wallet, and in the place where you’d keep a picture of like your family he had this

inspired by a friend misspeaking

The magpie who fishes stars

Just found out that the dietary calorie is still measured by burning food in a "bomb calorimeter" and then measuring the heat produced. There's no solid evidence that this method is at all equivalent to how our bodies process food (an entirely different chemical process from combustion), the accuracy of this system has been disputed for as long as it's existed, and there are no available alternatives

There are 4800 calories in a kilogram of dry sawdust even though wood is completely indigestible to humans, because calories don't measure nutritional value, just how well something burns

Nutritional "science" is pure bullshit

Kermi

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

"women are always like—"

"men are always like—"

shut up shut up shut up shut up shutupshutupshutupsHUT UP 🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄 gender essentialism-hating herd of cows running you over

i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf

When a mage is badly injured, magic sometimes "fills in the gaps"—growing an arcane hand or leg. You suffered brain damage that would have killed most. Magic filled in your mind.

"Punishment works!!!" We're drowning in three to four generations of people so pants-shittingly terrified of ever being wrong that half of everyone has constructed a worldview wherein they never even consider the possibility that they could be wrong and the other half behaves like one wrong move will make anything or anyone explode violently into a million irreperable pieces. I don't think it works guys

genuinely wild to me when I go to someone's house and we watch TV or listen to music or something and there are ads. I haven't seen an ad in my home since 2005. what do you mean you haven't set up multiple layers of digital infrastructure to banish corporate messaging to oblivion before it manifests? listen, this is important. this is the 21st century version of carving sigils on the wall to deny entry to demons or wearing bells to ward off the Unseelie. come on give me your router admin password and I'll show you how to cast a protective spell of Get Thee Tae Fuck, Capital

saw a post that said "guy (gender neutral)" and my brain immediately went like hmmm what would a gender neutral version of guy/gal be, maybe I can combine the two words and make something silly looking, so I opened up my notes app and wrote down the word "gay" and stared at it for a solid 10 seconds before remembering that's already a word

Local goat discovers joy of painting

i feel so completely directionless

Look Up

~~~

I don't usually dabble in realism - but this was a gift for someone very meaningful in my life. And some things just deserve to be painted as they are.

ATTENTION there are hummingbird species called pufflegs and they are all wearing very silly pants and that’s their defining trait

Source: poeticalphotos

Chonky boy

Everybody shut the HECK up and look at this

S H O R K

owls + apples 🍎

What, the forest-dwelling entities with imperfect human mimicry who insinuate themselves into groups of hikers? Yeah, we had one of those. Clocked it immediately, of course. Honestly it kind of fell in that so-inept-it's-kind-of-charming range. We just played along until it'd had it's fill of marshmallows and shambled back into the treeline. We might have been violating some kind of killjoy wildlife contact best practices but what the hell, can't plan around every little thing. Why, what happened to you guys

HOLY SHIT IT'S THE FISH CAN'T SIN POST!

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

How I just love puns and bad jokes.

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

chickens in love

Someone should write a 'humansnare space orcs' post featuring this bird. Maybe an 'earth is space Australia' one, or 'Earth id a deathworld'.

Dude has a death wish

Shout out to the ten primate species, four bat species, elephant shrews, and the Cairo spiny mouse. Nobody else gets it

People need to hear this, it may make someone's day.

i like being a lesbian and all, but holy shit, men are so cool. i hope all men reading this have a wonderful day.

Sometimes life feels like watching an episode of a show without watching the previous episodes first, while the show is based on a book you haven't read.

And you don't know what's happening, you don't understand where the narrative is going, what the show is about, what the moral is supposed to be, don't know what the people went through, and it makes you feel lost and you're not sure how you should act or what to say.

It came on my dash for the second time, so I Had to reblog.

The Ballad of Bella Buttons (based on a true story)