Sadnees - Blog Posts

Sometimes I wonder if people even realize how cruel they can be without saying a word. The way they look at me—cold, dismissive, like I’m something to laugh at or pity. It’s not always about what they say; sometimes it’s just the way they carry themselves around me, like I’m less. I feel overlooked all the time, like I’m just floating in the background, waiting for someone to actually see me. And I hate how much I want to be seen, especially by him. I hate how I catch myself hoping for even a glance from him. It makes me feel pathetic, like I’m betraying myself just to feel worthy for a moment. These past few days, I’ve been so angry. Just simmering beneath the surface. I keep snapping in my head, getting irritated at everything. I’m starting to feel like the angry little girl I worked so hard to bury, the one who, for years, carried the weight of her father’s rage. I hate how deeply I feel things, how sensitive I am. Lately, I’ve been drowning. Not in a river, but under the weight of never feeling satisfied with life.

—A lady and Her Quill, Letters to Dead Children: Ophelia's Journal Entries

“Do what you can, but nothing will take your pain away when you realize you're not truly loved by anyone.”

POV: your social anxiety is so bad you can’t even talk to your friends without freaking out…

Calling myself out rn 🥲

Ok but jokes aside, does anyone have any tips? Like anything will help.

I don’t like being fucking shy and anxious when it comes to talking to my friends.

For example, I’m getting ready to play some Minecraft with a friend, just me and him, and I’m terrified I’m gonna be awkward and weird as fuck. It’s bad enough that I don’t like my voice.

And it’s even worse cuz I really like this person and he’s really cool and chill. Literally a perfect friend for me.

Anyway, have an awesome morning, afternoon, night wherever you are. And don’t forget to eat and drink, especially water!!

Pain

My love, we'll never meet again. Nobody will ever remember me... My entire life will be remembered. My sorrows will fade, and so will my influence on those who love me. Even you... may pop up from time to time in your memory... A member of my family may discover my belongings and smile wistfully as he wonders where I am, but he will eventually forget. It pains me to think that life will go on without me.

I would have shipped them so hard 😔

thinking a lot about this post

When my friend’s mom is mutuals with me so I can’t repost the muppet joker anymore

I am saddened to say that Nick has lied to me it's just de stablized and frightmare with different descriptions I am sorry ppl who were exited with me :(( but you can watch fan made season 4 on yt if you wish

I omg I found out there's a season 4 of Danny Phantom on Nickelodeon tonight at like 1am Australia time!

So happy gonna watch it I've set reminders

Awake , to make sense of everything...

We are a whole lifetime away.

Then why are we pretending to be closer?

With every hour that fades as the morning comes,

we move away from each other slowly.

Like the ticking of a tired clock,

the moments we stole are going too fast.

I never want to let go of your hand,

but when morning comes how do I make you stay?

I don't have any thing more to give you,

and all that you can say has already been said.

We knew we'll fade with the first sunrise.

But then why does letting go feel so much like dying.

I wish the night could stretch on for eternity.

Hold each other here under the soft moonlight.

We're meant to walk away from the other,

but our hearts can't help run back to each other.

There are a million stars in the sky tonight,

but there are a million more unshed tears in our eyes.

The horizon is starting to turn pink now.

Your hand is too warm to let go.

Sunrises are the most beautiful thing there is.

But not when it takes you away from me.

Let this sunrise come and go.

Maybe we can close our eyes and pretend the night is still young.

I always said the same thing

when asked about relationships

and the reason why I was never in one.

I said it so much it felt a bit rehearsed

but it was true.

I did not need anyone to be happy,

I did not need anyone to come

and step into my world

only to mess it up.

And for so long I kept that up

I let no one in for anything else

but a simple friendship because I knew

that if they left it would be okay

but you came one day and overtime

became that one person;

The one that I never wanted to let go of,

because things with you were great

you came

and became part of my happiness.

Now I am finding it hard to let you go

but I know I will be okay

because I have rehearsed a new line

and it goes a bit like this,

“I learned what love was and I will be okay”

because although I still leave your space

in our bed open as if you would lay there again

I know you won’t and maybe,

just maybe things were meant to be that way

because

I learned what love was

And for that I will forever thank you.  

M.S.I

If every word I said could bring you back,

and allow me to hear your voice once more

I’d talk endlessly

about everything under the sun.

- about the loss of a loved one

No one talks about leaving,

Realizing one day, a day you woke up feeling as if it was going to be any other day, that you no longer love the person the same. The small things you once loved that they put so much effort to go unnoticed. How is it that you woke up and realized you were okay living without them when one day you feared losing them. I think it hurts too, having to tell the person you never planned on being without that things are just not the same and when they ask why, what is there to say? "I woke up on a seemingly normal Wednesday and I realized that you no longer made me feel those puke-worthy butterflies. That I knew I would be okay without you." How do you put that feeling into words? I don't think I will ever be able to give you the answer you deserve and for that I'm Sorry...

I miss you more than I knew I would

and I hate it

because I promised myself

that I wouldn’t be that person,

the one who sits around

wondering how you are

and if you’re happy

but I couldn’t stop it and it sucks

because I wish I didn’t care.

I wish I felt nothing

but how can I feel nothing

for the person

who once made me feel everything.

MSI

I finally got it

I finally understand what everybody meant

when they would tell me that one day

I would fall in love

and I would understand what it was like

to be blatantly lost in someone.

I think it comes out of nowhere.

We don’t expect it,

it’s just there, one day

we realize that one person

can change our happiness

whether it be for the better

or for the worse

and we trust that they won’t hurt us

we just put blind trust

even though we never really know

but we don’t really care.

I think we do it for the momentary happiness

that might last a while,

maybe even forever

but we’re always slightly afraid that it will end

and we’ll go back to how we were before..

Strangers

but in the end we’re not really strangers

anymore...

MSI

<Please Don’t Break Me>

I loved you, I always will,

and that’s the problem

because the sad reality is

that I’ll love you way more

than I will ever love myself..

MSI

<If Only>

And if we ever meet again

I’ll know it’s meant to be

but for now let’s live in this happiness

because we both know it won’t last forever

even though we truly wish it did.

MSI

<Living in the Moment Was Always Our Thing>

It’s like walking through a field of flowers

wearing a white flowy dress and you’re happy

you’re picking flowers and it’s a joy so immense

nobody can stop you, you’re free but then

you hit a wall, the flowers in your hands are not there

they’re replaced by rubbish, and then you look back

and it’s no longer the field of flowers.. it’s a mess

a mess that you have no choice but to fix

so you do, you walk back

and start piecing it all together and you’re sad

you’re guilty because you created such chaos

you beat yourself up about it as you see everything;

the people you hurt, the mistakes you made,

the good ideas that were actually bad ideas

then once it’s clean you’re excited.. it’s the field again

and you’re running through it again and it’s scary

because you never know where the wall is

when you’ll be stuck looking at the mess again

but you still enjoy it, you still love the flowers..

MSI

< Bipolar Disorder In My Words >

I remember those five songs I shared with you,

the ones that showed how broken I was and

as we sat on your car staring at the navy blue sky,

the color it usually was at 3am,

I knew you understood

and I don’t think anyone ever will again...

MSI

<My Favorite Playlist is Filled With The Songs You Shared>

What if I never forget you?

what if, all my life,

when I meet someone new,

I can never fall for them

because they aren’t you?

ANON

And in the fault of our reality

I wished nothing more than

to be able to watch you smile

for the rest of my life...

MSI

<Forever>

The truth is none of us want to be adults..

And with every word you spoke

you made me feel as though

I was the best thing to ever happen to you

yet I still laid here at night

wondering when you’d leave

because all good things leave

and you were one amazing thing

I knew I couldn’t bare to lose...

MSI

<Bittersweet Nothings>

You asked,

What is the scariest part?

I answer;

the scariest part is not the feeling of loneliness

or the darkness that fills you

despite the looming pain

of emptiness

The scariest part

is the realization

that you have lost yourself

completely

sinking in as you lay awake

At 2am

because you lost the ability to sleep

and you can’t even cry

because you don’t even care.

A.D.H

Maybe forever wasn’t for us,

perhaps what we have right now

is all we’re meant to have...

is that so bad?

Let’s live forever right now,

love like there will be no tomorrow.

All we really need is right now.

MSI

<Right Now>

and he sat at the oncologist waiting room as life dimmed outside

« smoking kills »

« that’s the point isn’t it? »

new york, new york

grand central smelt of pennies, ticket stubs, and desperation at 5:15 am.

"where're you headed?" the worker asked.

where was he headed? he didn’t realize leaving meant going away. but to go far enough to be folded into memory or far enough to be followed? would his wife search for him?

"connecticut.”

no comment; the worker printed a slip and took his money mechanically.

he needed a congratulations, deserved one for his decision. but who would congratulate a man abandoning his wife?