Love Is Pain - Blog Posts

Bitter, yet you tasted so sweet to me

Like poison dipped in honey, I swallowed every lie until I couldn’t breathe

You tried to make me hate you but I never could, I tried to make you love me but you never would

Pain is the dark shadow of love, it does not shine, it’s not even the same shape but it’s connected

You watch the light leave their eyes. You watch their heart crumble into crimson colored dust. But that's all that you can do. Watch from afar while another bleeds for your warmth.

And then you realise how very cruel fate can be sometimes.

Because there is nothing you wouldn't do to hold them in your hands, there's nothing you'd want more than wiping their tears away. And you'd take away their pain in a heartbeat and replace it with all things beautiful in your life. If only you could.

Sometimes you can love someone so much but not in a way that matters to them. And not in a way that makes sense to you. But still there's love and pain and longing. But it's all wrong and right at the same time.

Sometimes it's painful to love someone. And sometimes it's painful to be loved. And you don't really have a choice with either of them.

So you watch them leave, with a broken heart, and you're left there with an ache in you that'll never really go away.

And in the silence of the night you whisper to no one in particular.

"In another lifetime perhaps...."

Singing your praises to the stars have kept me alive for the last few centuries, but now that you've found another to orbit around, will it make a difference if I burn brighter than the sun until my wings have caught fire and I look like the dream you see in your sleep?

I can forget the pain of a few burns if it means keeping you warm.

I look up to see his beautiful face.

His eyes are filled with fresh tears.

But there's a smile on his lips.

It seems so true and real.

Yet I know it's far from that.

When his voice cracks as he speaks,

a deep sadness washes over my being.

I can feel it spreading through me.

Touching every secret corner and creek.

I don't know what to do now.

Who do I take care of first, him or me?

I ask myself, as I hold his face with my shaking hands.

His tears are so warm as I wipe them away.

His smile fades and he falls onto me.

While he breaks in my arms quietly,

I let my tears fall finally.

There's only so much strength I have in me.

And I'll use every last bit to piece him back together.

Because I don't know how to be without him.

I don't know why I am, without him.

Without him, I stay a blue question mark.

With him, I'll be a warm full stop.

© Moonyloonywitch

It hurts to see you like this.

All broken and drowning.

Souless eyes staring into oblivion.

I know you've been heartbroken.

And I know you feel like dying.

But I hope you know that I care.

I care so much that your pain is starting to feel like my own.

And I am scared that I'll end up like you too.

But while I am beside you in your sad story,

I don't think you'll be there for me in mine.

I don't know what to do now.

Maybe just for a while till you heal,

I'll hold your hand and pretend I don't love you.

Denial has never been my thing.

But now I need it to live.

So here I am denying the love I feel for you,

so that I can share the pain you are in because of him.

Love has many definitions,

and for me it is being with you while you love another.

© Moonyloonywitch

06/08/2021

Pain still lingers,

in places you left untouched.

Craving for a healing,

that never found its way to me.

No one deserves this slow death,

but I'll be lying if say I hate it.

Sweet words unspoken,

make cuts deeper than oceans.

Yet you left it that way,

knowing I'd never survive by myself.

Maybe I was wrong when I thought I loved you.

Maybe I just loved myself a little less.

© Moonyloonywitch

01/08/2021

10:50 am

anyone else too mentally ill for love?