You Watch The Light Leave Their Eyes. You Watch Their Heart Crumble Into Crimson Colored Dust. But That's

You think at some point you'll figure life out. But it's doesn't happen. I've been waiting, patiently, hopefully. But it's the same as before. I have my life in my hands, but I can't seem to place the pieces together. There are no patterns or silhouettes in there. No path, nor a destination. Like a silent river that flows till it meets the sea....my life is flowing till it meets the sky.

I've given up on trying to figure it out. I shall wait under the shade of the afternoon slumber, rest and wakeup while the world goes on. Let it unfold on its own. And I'll gladly welcome it home.

On that day when you stumbled away,

I thought I had a Deja Vu.

Like we've been together before.

And like we've said the same goodbyes before.

It was like looking up at the sky and suddenly seeing a star.

One that I've never seen before but felt like I always have.

You leaving me felt like it was always written.

Maybe I have been blind all this time.

The light from you smile belittled every single flaw you had.

So when suddenly you stopped smiling and turned away,

my sky became so dark that it almost felt like I could see the heavens up above.

And in there I saw our tale.

How it was told so that it could end.

Perhaps I've read this story before and cried to it too.

But strangely when it has become the story of my life,

my tears have abandoned me and I am alone.

And the emptiness in me was the way your eyes looked when they landed on me.

I thought you gave me life.

But you did not.

You just darkened the lifeless parts of me even more.

And now I lay in the sand, looking up at the blood moon.

The only red in me is the reflection of the moon in my cold eyes.

Like the millions of stars in the black sky,

now you can never find me when it's bright.

On lightless nights find the darkest portion of the sky.

There you can see me swimming in the abyss of black.

But still trying to stay awake till dawn,

till the light of the sun kills me,

like your smile once did.

I wanted us to become a lovely story.

But we were just flashbacks of a story that was never written.

Pain still lingers,

in places you left untouched.

Craving for a healing,

that never found its way to me.

No one deserves this slow death,

but I'll be lying if say I hate it.

Sweet words unspoken,

make cuts deeper than oceans.

Yet you left it that way,

knowing I'd never survive by myself.

Maybe I was wrong when I thought I loved you.

Maybe I just loved myself a little less.

© Moonyloonywitch

01/08/2021

10:50 am

Don't we all need someone beside us?

As we go through our darkest days,

facing our deepest fears?

When the battle is finally over,

we turn to see the smile on their face.

Because at the end of the day,

our souls need a home too.

And what better place could it be,

than the heart of a loved one.

I hope you'll be there for me,

when I return from these chaos.

No matter how cruel the world gets,

I can heal when our eyes meet again.

Alchemists can quit their jobs now.

I have found the elixir of life.

© Moonyloonywitch

02/08/2021

The yellow letter sits on my table.

Edges worn and writing faded.

A faint scent of sandalwood and lavender,

is all that lingers where your hands once roamed.

I've kept it close to me all these years.

In hopes you'll write one again.

But that's all it has been.

Hopes that seemed hopeless to begin with.

I cannot bring myself to crumple it.

Or tear it into small bits.

Deep down I am scared.

Your words have become a second breath to me.

Almost as if I'll die if I stop thinking about them.

We never said goodbye.

But you did say you were bored of this love.

Maybe it's time I threw it away.

The tiny piece of paper that held me a prisoner all these years.

Time for a fresh new me.

One where I don't give up my heart to random strangers.

With a racing heart and a head full of doubts,

I take up the paper and read it again.

For the last time,

I remember your face.

I remember how much in love I was.

And for a final time,

I trace my fingers over your words.

With love, you say,

but it's been dead for a while now.

And now, I think I'll bury it.

But the doorbell rings and I sigh.

The man seems amused by my tears.

He hands me the box all the same,

and then walk away with a good day.

I open the box and there you are.

Smiling from the past like you're still here.

Another piece of paper fall into my lap.

Your words stare at me again.

Fresh scents of sandalwood and lavender fills me.

With love, you say again.

I almost laugh out but then catch myself.

It's wrong to laugh at the dead.

But I still smile, happy.

I held onto you for so long.

And finally when I began to let you go,

you've just gone on.

Maybe what kept you alive for so long was me.

Afterall how could death drag you down,

when I whispered your name to the passing wind,

and wrote it in sand over and over again.

Maybe that's why certain love are born.

To keep the other alive and breathing.

And with every breath I take now,

I remind myself there's someone for me too.

© Moonyloonywitch

01/09/2021

We are a whole lifetime away.

Then why are we pretending to be closer?

With every hour that fades as the morning comes,

we move away from each other slowly.

Like the ticking of a tired clock,

the moments we stole are going too fast.

I never want to let go of your hand,

but when morning comes how do I make you stay?

I don't have any thing more to give you,

and all that you can say has already been said.

We knew we'll fade with the first sunrise.

But then why does letting go feel so much like dying.

I wish the night could stretch on for eternity.

Hold each other here under the soft moonlight.

We're meant to walk away from the other,

but our hearts can't help run back to each other.

There are a million stars in the sky tonight,

but there are a million more unshed tears in our eyes.

The horizon is starting to turn pink now.

Your hand is too warm to let go.

Sunrises are the most beautiful thing there is.

But not when it takes you away from me.

Let this sunrise come and go.

Maybe we can close our eyes and pretend the night is still young.

Love is so strange.

It's different for different people.

And it's different during different seasons.

It was a summer afternoon in May,

when I loved someone for the very first time.

I felt like somebody had sprinkled fairy dust inside me.

It felt all tingly and sparkly and good in every way.

Then autumn came and it was September,

when you said you loved me for the first time.

I knew what butterflies felt like in my tummy.

A beautiful cool sensation, jittery yet so magical.

But soon after, winter visited as well.

I was left alone on the park bench,

in the midst of December,

while you held her hand and walked away.

The fairy dust of the summer,

started choking me up.

I ran home and closed the bathroom door.

And ended up puking all over.

I guess those were the butterflies I felt in Autumn,

now all dead and garbage.

As I waited for the winter to pass,

I dreaded the arrival of summer.

I didn't want no more fairy dust and butterflies.

All I wanted was to be me again.

To stop feeling dead and grey all the time.

It was February suddenly,

and I was walking to my favourite coffee shop.

I hadn't been there in a while,

and I missed it like anything.

Half way through my favourite book,

you stumbled upon me and fell.

We smiled and apologized,

and I extended my hand out to you.

It was when you grabbed my outstretched hand,

that I suddenly remembered spring existed as well.

© Moonyloonywitch

10/08/2021

Dreams are all that I have now.

All that which keeps me alive.

During the day and at night.

The push I need to breathe again.

Simply put I am up in the clouds.

Far from this world yet tied down to it.

Cursed rules and expectations locks my pretty feet.

Hands tied up with stupid facades.

They feed me normality.

My body doesn't like that so I return it.

All that comes from me are small whispers.

Names of cities and my favourite stories.

The bright constellations and beautiful flowers.

Perfect tea and old world libraries.

Scent of the moon and sound of the ocean.

Winter breaths and summer giggles.

Love for you and love for me.

Bleeding Gods and their sad lovers.

Deep poems and sweet music.

I am filled with the things I love.

And everytime you burn my soul,

You make a star glow.

Everytime you silence my voice,

Thunder rumbles over the mountains.

And when you think you've put me to sleep,

Think again before the moon comes out.

I may be filled with all things sweet and soft and nice.

But I've learned to fight over the years.

I'll let my wolves hunt tonight.

And they won't rest until all your dreams become nightmares.

And watch how I hold you in there forever.

A slave to your mind till the end of time.

© Moonyloonywitch

02/09/2021

Do I wish for someone to look at me and think that I am the most beautiful painting they've ever seen?

Do I wish for someone to hold me oh so softly, afraid that they'll hurt me if the grip is even a little tight?

Do I wish for someone to think of how it would feel to kiss me, to be kissed by me?

Do I wish for someone to think of me when they see purple sunsets and orange dawns?

Do I wish for someone to tell me that they've been thinking about me the whole day?

Do I wish for someone sing to me and cuddle me to sleep?

Do I wish for someone who can't stop thinking about a beautiful future where we belong together?

Yes.

I wish that.

All of it.

But most days I wish someone would just smile at me.

Tired is not even enough to describe the way I feel now. There's emptiness, vastness of it inside me. Yet there's no room to breathe.

No space where my soul can rest and do a little stretch.

Years of existence has piled upon me and now there's hardly any room....for myself.

Days have turned to weeks and weeks to months.

The sparkle of life has quietened down and all that's left is a stubborn heart shaped hollow.

Once filled to the brim with hopes and dreams, now it lays stuck in the sand and long forgotten.

A fossil from the days when the sun used to be kind and the wind was fresh. When I used to be me.

Now? Now it's all a hallucination... Something I feel I used to have but not really...