Xingqiu: Chongyun Isn’t Messaging Me Back... I Hope I Haven’t Done Something To Upset Him

Kaeya: you know what would be sexy?

Kaeya: eating food off each other

Albedo: you did not do the dishes

Kaeya: i did not

Childe: do you know how many bones the human body has? its 206. we start with 369 when we’re babies but they fuse. wouldn’t you want to go back? have as many bones as a baby? what if i could help you

The Traveler: hi yeah what the actual, literal, genuine FUCK does this mean

anders: hewwo! I will be youw suwgeon today! intewnal bweeding you say? let’s make ouw fiwst wittle incision

hawke: dowcto, wew’re loswing him!!

anders: quick! hand me the defibwiwatow! 

fenris: please, turn off my fucking life support

On April 27, 2034 at 11:22 pm you will perish in a fire. Be prepared.

On April 27, 2034 at 11:22 pm you’ll join me

Traveler: the door is locked

Venti: i got it! childe, give me your credit card

Childe: okay?

Venti, pocketing it: cool. razor, kick the door down

*On Twitter*

Fischl: “triggers can be anything” until the trigger is like literallly anything

Heizou: whew this blew up follow me for more bangers 🔥

Fischl: WHO R U??

MC: let’s not forget that one time you literally killed me

Belphegor: how many times am i gonna have to apologize for that

MC: once would be nice

Belphegor: no

Xiangling: my hungry ass couldn’t be a brain surgeon 💀💀

Chongyun: what do you mean? what do you mean by that?

Hawke: Wow. Handcuffs? You’re kinky…

Aveline: First off, I’m captain of the guard. Secondly, you’re under arrest.

Venti, in Fontaine: ah yes!baguettes, the snakes of bread. we’ll take two of your freshest yeasty eels, good sir!

Random Baker: what

Traveler: ignore him