*On Twitter*

Operator 21O: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?

9S: Yes

Operator 21O: I was hula hooping. Operator 6O and I began attending a class for fitness and for fun.

9S: Oh my god

Operator 21O: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle.

9S: Why are you telling me this?

Operator 21O, deleting the pictures: Because no one will ever believe you.

9S: You sick son of a bitch.

Childe: got called gay at headquarters today, lads

La Signora: tell us what happened, lad

Childe: i got called gay at headquarters

Scaramouche: yea but why?

Childe: i was being gay

Scaramouche: at headquarters?

Childe: yea it was at headquarters

Childe: do you know how many bones the human body has? its 206. we start with 369 when we’re babies but they fuse. wouldn’t you want to go back? have as many bones as a baby? what if i could help you

The Traveler: hi yeah what the actual, literal, genuine FUCK does this mean

Chongyun: oh, auntie. you’re late

Shenhe: yes i’m sorry. i was doing… things

Xingqiu: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS

Michonne: I wish you’d just admit when you’re wrong

Carl, stirring his coffee: I prefer it with salt

why must we play god

I installed Skyrim on the Pip-Boy in Fallout 4

Belphegor: how do i put myself in a coma without killing myself or giving myself permanent brain damage? My life sucks and i want to die but i think i might want to wake up later, plus i have a twin brother who i don’t want to scar

Belphegor: update: lol i don’t want to die, i just want to go to sleep for like a month

Belphegor: update 2: to all you idiots incapable of literacy, i didn’t ask how to improve my current circumstances, i asked how to induce a coma

Diluc: i have been told that i'm too negative and hostile towards kaeya. so kaeya, if my tweets have offended you, i humbly apologize. i honestly didn't think you could read

Adrien: I know you’re Ladybug, Marinette

Marinette, internally: play dumb

Marinette: who’s Marinette

Marinette, internally: not that dumb!

Xingqiu: you lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Chongyun: oh yeah? you’re the idiot who thinks he can get away with everything you do. welcome to the real world!

Xingqiu: im leaving you, and im taking razor with me!

Bennett, picking up the monopoly board: i think it’s time to stop playing now