Shoving A Head Of Iceberg Lettuce Down My Throat To Distract Myself From The Divine Horror Of Creation

get off my property

i hate this stupid fucking koala so much i hate him it makes me physically ill looking at his stupid face i wish jimmy actually threw him off the fucking building bc he sucks so fucking much i hate him i hate him i hate him i ha

I JUST SAW A CYBERTRUCK IN THE WILD

hot tip: when your anniversary comes up please do not use the #tumblr milestone tag or whatever- I got bombarded with icky bots when I did

Will do, captain. Thank you for your sacrifice. 🫡

"your crime is existence" hehe yeah it is and you loooooove it :3

now eat this fucking drill

fighting gabriel rn with a cheeky ass grin on my face while we beat the shit out of each other

just dancing and twirling around him like a little ballerina while he tries to smite me off the face of the earth

I can blow you up with my death ray but only if you beg me

Why is April fools shaping up to be particularly nonchalant this year??? I was ready for chaos and now I get nothing???

Sorry for the last post being a downer it's just that bitches are testing me.

Anyhoo I went to the store yesterday and found out that the person at the register spoke Spanish as well as English and idk why but I thought that was so neato.

So shout out to bilingual ppl. You are much smarter than I am.

do... Do you like the daycare attendants from hit game Security breach?

I believe in silly guy supremacy

I have gone into raptures.

For many moons I have reveled in my hellish court, free to content myself with the boundless comfort of knavery and mischief. But my influence is negligible, for what is a jester without an audience? What is a card without a crowd? I am but a servant to the unknown---a slave to a faceless void.

But not now. Now is my time to strike. A shot in the dark, a thump in the night: each blow against friend and foe alike is a blow struck for my right to a roguish and devious existence.

Tonight is the Night of Fools, and there is no greater Fool than I.

I am merely the jester of this court of revels. But tonight?

Tonight, I am King.

i hate this stupid fucking koala so much i hate him it makes me physically ill looking at his stupid face i wish jimmy actually threw him off the fucking building bc he sucks so fucking much i hate him i hate him i hate him i ha

Girl Dinner ❤️