I Feel So Ashamed For Even Wanting Some… 😭

I ate a lot again… but no binge! And I counted everything!

Breakfast: Egg burrito made with 2 eggs (152), cherry tomatoes (34), bacon (80), and tortilla (193) - with some ketchup (~22)

- Felt really good after eating this, but was missing the spinach (I ran out)

Snack: New years pastries my grandma baked (212)

- I love these so much and I’m really glad I ate some without feeling too guilty.

Lunch: konjac noodles (8), tuna (113), soy sauce (8), and some dried seaweed (30)

- 10/10 amazing yummy delicious

Snack: More pastries (106) and a fun drink (129)

Dinner: More pastries (318), with a salad (6), ham (123) and cheese (56) tortilla wrap (193), and some corn tortilla chips (158)

- I really regret eating the tortilla chips, I didn’t even really enjoy them.

Snack: Gummy bears (68)

- Tried these for the first time they have stevia sweetener. My only problem with them is that they are not nearly sour enough!! Why do they call them sour gummies!!

Total: 2010cal 👎

I also drank literally like 3litres of tea today because I was so hungry….

Had dinner aaaaaaand my body didn’t like that… stomach ache and the poops

You’re so pathetic. Look at yourself—every bite you take, every excuse you make, it’s proof you’re a failure.

Do you think people like you deserve to eat? They don’t. You don’t.

Every time you pick up a fork, you’re choosing to stay worthless. You’re choosing failure over progress, weakness over strength. And for what? A moment of comfort that you’ll hate yourself for afterward?

The hunger you feel? It’s what you deserve for letting yourself get like this in the first place.

It’s not punishment; it’s a reminder.

A reminder that you have work to do.

That you’re still not enough.

That you haven’t earned anything yet—not food, not pride, not the right to look at yourself without disgust.

Don’t you dare give in to your cravings. They don’t care about you. They just want to ruin you.

You’re not allowed to eat again until you’ve earned the right to exist in your own skin.

Not until you’ve suffered enough to make a difference.

The version of yourself you want isn’t built through comfort. She’s built through hunger, through pain, through sacrifice.

So do better.

Be better.

Because right now, you’re nothing. And if you give up again, that’s all you’ll ever be.

me every time i take a shower:

How I be looking like in 3dblrr

My personal goal 🩷⭐️

my bf just hugged me and asked why i felt so thin…best thing i’ve heard

I can’t fast anymore because then I feel so nauseous and get migraines and can’t get anything done…

I miss my fasting days before I became obese.

What I ate today… yes it’s a lot, but no binge and I counted all the calories.

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs (228) with spinach (46) and cherry tomatoes (40) and bacon (80), and a piece of toast (74)

- Felt really full for a long time after, so I think this was a great breakfast choice. But it made me so nauseous to eat it.

Lunch: spaghetti from my grandma (~830) and two pickles (13)

- Not the best chose but I was forced to eat it. I estimated really high because she cooks with a lot of oil.

- I did not feel good after eating it, I was hungry so quick.

Shameful snacks: half of the can of cheese puffs (100% just cheese) (209), and a fun drink (122)

- Really could have gone without these… I feel so bad about eating it. But at least I made it planned and counted the calories.

Dinner: toasted bread (134) with spreadable cheese (56) and turkey ham (22), and tortilla chips (158)

- I have a headache and was craving it… honestly I don’t feel bad about eating it even though it’s so carb heavy.

Total: 2014cal 👎

Wanted to introduce myself;

You can call me Tess.

Used to roam the digital streets of edtblr and edtwt before it was even cool. Then I tried to recover… and even though I was never skinny, I am now bigger then I’ve ever been.

Overweight my whole life… to mia… to different font of mia… to bed… to being obese pipeline.

I really tried losing weight the healthy way… but bed is kicking my butt.

cw: let’s round up to 120kg

Looking for friends, mutuals, anyone who wants to cry together

In my mid-20s, so under 18s please don’t follow me.

I ate wayyyy too much yesterday…. Even with my nausea and food aversion. Ridiculous. Like wtf. Even when I am physically sick I still eat too much. I want to cry.