I Ate A Lot Again… But No Binge! And I Counted Everything!

i spend one day thinking my body is cute and then hate it the rest of the days lol.

Please Lord, i don’t want to count down the hours until i can eat. I want to forget to eat..

Are there any podcasts that are pro-ana or toxic?

All of my communities got delete… :(

Breakfast: Vanilla yogurt with banana (338) & Black tea

- Honestly I did not feel my best after eating this. I think I should stick to savory breakfast or no breakfast.

Lunch: German beef roulade with bread dumplings (756)

- Definitely could have gone without the dumplings, but my grandma made it…

Snack: Christmas cookies (203)

Dinner: Tuna and spinach cooked in tomato sauce, with a handful of tortilla chips (388) & Camomile tea

Shameful snack: potato chips (300)

- I feel really guilty about it.

Total: 1985cal 👎

Not the best… but no binge!

“– I did crave attention, but I refused to humiliate myself by asking for it.” 

Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

reminder that despite being an ana blog, fatphobia is not welcome here!

all bodies are welcome, all bodies are beautiful. scars, fat, stretch marks, whatever.

just because I have a mental disorder which affects my perception of myself does not mean I condone mistreatment of others.

You’re so pathetic. Look at yourself—every bite you take, every excuse you make, it’s proof you’re a failure.

Do you think people like you deserve to eat? They don’t. You don’t.

Every time you pick up a fork, you’re choosing to stay worthless. You’re choosing failure over progress, weakness over strength. And for what? A moment of comfort that you’ll hate yourself for afterward?

The hunger you feel? It’s what you deserve for letting yourself get like this in the first place.

It’s not punishment; it’s a reminder.

A reminder that you have work to do.

That you’re still not enough.

That you haven’t earned anything yet—not food, not pride, not the right to look at yourself without disgust.

Don’t you dare give in to your cravings. They don’t care about you. They just want to ruin you.

You’re not allowed to eat again until you’ve earned the right to exist in your own skin.

Not until you’ve suffered enough to make a difference.

The version of yourself you want isn’t built through comfort. She’s built through hunger, through pain, through sacrifice.

So do better.

Be better.

Because right now, you’re nothing. And if you give up again, that’s all you’ll ever be.

grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.

I was excited to show my boyfriend some snacks I got at the store because they don’t have the same things back home, and he said to stop sharing my grocery with him because I’m annoying.

I will go cry now.