Trauma Is The Response, Not The Event.

sometimes i feel like people forget autism is a disability. and that’s not a bad thing! i’m all for disability acceptance, im proud of my disabilities. but i feel like we forget autism can hurt.

it hurts that i have to put more time and energy into socializing than others.

it hurts when i need to move so bad, usually cause im overwhelmed by either my surroundings or emotions, that i thrash and hurt myself.

it hurts that i cant be in places that are too loud or too bright, which on bad days can be as simple as a small, quiet noise or dim lights.

it hurts that i struggle to tell when im hungry, thirsty, tired, etc. so i can’t properly take care of myself. it doesn’t help my insomnia and i get very nauseas and get UTIs.

i 100% believe in autism acceptance. i don’t want a cure. but i also want us the acknowledge that it can hurt. it doesn’t mean my entire life will hurt, but some parts will. and i want a community where we can see both sides, see the hurt, and celebrate it anyway.

“If you have time to be on social media, you also have time for…” “If you have time to watch Netflix, you also have time for…” Yeah, but do I have the energy for it? Do I have the emotional and mental capacity for it? Am I pain-free enough for it? Can I focus on it? Can I do it without leaving my bed? Can I safely do it without risk of (physically or emotionally) injuring myself by pushing past my boundaries?

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For all my over-heating spoonies out there:

While doing chores/moving around, if you start to get really warm, put ice packs in your pockets, 10/10

Drink lots of ice water, but not all at once, your body might freak a little and go nauseous

Have a large amount of tank tops in various colors, when you go out and have to look a bit more formal, use a cardigan/very thin jacket so you always have the option to take it off

Spray bottles on mist form <3

Sometimes resting, or laying down, helps to cool off cause you're not using energy

Keep your bare feet on the cool tile/wood/etc. as often as possible

Bowl of ice in front of a fan works weirdly well

Popsicles, but make sure they're not high in sugar/dairy/etc. because those can make it worse

I know it would seem like tiny tight clothes would be best, but make sure your clothes aren't tight, you don't have to wear long flowing capes and gowns but having shorts that are cotton/loose are always much better.

The backs of your arms (the upper half) your feet, and your knees are often colder than the rest of your body, utilize that

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being chronically ill with fluctuating symptoms is so annoying because when it's at it's worst im like "okay i desperately need some type of mobility aid right now, i haven't been able to leave my house in days" but then i'm able to go for a walk one day and suddenly i feel like im exaggerating my symptoms and that i actually can walk fine and it would just be embarrassing and pointless to ask for a mobility aid assessment

but like ... not struggling as much one day doesn't take away from the days that i struggle the most

our pain is valid even when it's not at it's worst and we deserve the accommodations we need even if we don't always need them at all times

When I say “school should be disability accessible”, I don’t just mean we need handicap rails and EAs. Kids should be able to miss a day without failing out of school. You shouldn’t be dismissed from clubs because your attendance record is “spotty” (true story). I once missed an entire week of school because of a terrible, unending migraine. I was expected to keep up with my studies despite the blinding pain that came with working on my computer. When I heard my teachers say that you couldn’t miss exams, I asked what I would have to do to be excused from them. Their response? “Either get a doctor’s note an hour before the exam or death of an immediate family member.”

I cannot express how rigid this expectation was. First of all, with my condition, I wouldn’t have enough warning about my sickness to go to the doctor and request a note. For many people, this is exceptionally difficult, especially with the current shortage of medical professionals. Next, it ignores the fact that my schedule may not line with theirs because of my medical needs. Once, I had to visit a hospital a province away (which I was on the waiting list of for over a year) on the same day as an exam. I begged my mother not to take me because I was so nervous that I would be marked as an automatic fail. I was lucky enough to make it work, but that’s only because of my spectacular support system consisting of family members and wonderful doctors.

Disabilities aren’t always about needing a bus that can accommodate wheelchairs. It’s already difficult enough for many of us to maintain school attendance without the harsh punishments involved for skipping a day. We need to be able to miss school without being punished. Only than can you claim that the school is “accessible”

"All autistics have low empathy" - This statement is wrong.

"Autistics having low empathy is a MYTH, we actually have HIGH empathy!" - This statement is ALSO wrong.

Autistics can have low empathy, they can have high empathy, they can have learned empathy. The myth would be that all autistics only experience one end of the empathy spectrum.

In spreading around misinformation that autistics actually have high empathy, you are disregarding the autistics who do have low empathy. And vice versa.

It okay if you want to get rid of your autism.

Lot of people on internet say that autism great and that they like it. That okay too, everyone allowed own opinion on self.

But not make you bad person if you don’t like it.

It hard having meltdowns and sensory overload. Hard to need others to care for self.

You allowed to dislike your autism.

Quick visual guide on what to include when writing alt text (Taken from this article by Veroniiiica):

[Image description: An infographic titled “Writing Alt Text” featuring a photo of a capybara. Parts of alt text are divided by color, including identify who, expression, description, colour, and interesting features. The finished description reads “A capybara looking relaxed in a hot spa. Yellow yuzu fruits are floating in the water, and one is balanced on the top of the capybara’s head.” End of image description.]

If you use a screen reader and there's anything else you like image descriptions to have that isn't detailed here, feel free to add! I will rb additions :) I also implore you to check out the original article for more info!

Captions shouldn't be censored. If the video says fuck or cum or cunt the captions should say the fucking word.

Thinking about the dichotomy of "I feel uncomfortable/triggered in the presence of x/y/z environments I would like to be someplace without that" that I constantly see online and when I tell my therapist I really get uncomfortable when people raise their voices around me even if they aren't actually mad and her response of "you can only control your own reactions and emotions, it's not really fair to police others on how they should exist in your presence" and honestly it sucks to hear but she's right.. it's good to have people be conscientious of what triggers you but really it's up to us to do the hard work of building that emotional resilience. The idea of people around me having to be hypervigilant of what they say and do lest I start getting dysregulated does not sound fun at all, I want people to feel comfortable being themselves around me and that means training my dumb lizard brain to chill tf out. Living in a constant state of avoidance sucks ass for everyone involved.