Thinking about the dichotomy of "I feel uncomfortable/triggered in the presence of x/y/z environments I would like to be someplace without that" that I constantly see online and when I tell my therapist I really get uncomfortable when people raise their voices around me even if they aren't actually mad and her response of "you can only control your own reactions and emotions, it's not really fair to police others on how they should exist in your presence" and honestly it sucks to hear but she's right.. it's good to have people be conscientious of what triggers you but really it's up to us to do the hard work of building that emotional resilience. The idea of people around me having to be hypervigilant of what they say and do lest I start getting dysregulated does not sound fun at all, I want people to feel comfortable being themselves around me and that means training my dumb lizard brain to chill tf out. Living in a constant state of avoidance sucks ass for everyone involved.
I think the most fucked up thing about intrusive thoughts is it's really difficult to discuss them without discussing their content, because without a discussion of their content it's impossible to get across just how distressing and debilitating they are. "Oh, you have unpleasant thoughts sometimes? Yeah we all have that, I guess."
But if you discuss their content there's this huge risk of people just pulling away in disgust. "Oh god, you have THOSE sorts of thoughts? They should lock freaks like you the fuck up!" As if they think people act on every single thought they have.
Books and things to read:
Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Aimed at providers but apparently super great for self-help too
How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult? by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Tips on how to stop seeing yourself and other people as only either all-good or all-bad
10 Stages in the Treatment of Narcissistic Disorders by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Goes through the stages of treating NPD
Rethinking Narcissism by Dr. Craig Malkin - A book about promoting healthy narcissism instead of unhealthy narcissism
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders by Dr. Daniel Fox - what it says on the tin. May be best done guided by a therapist
Shame in patients with narcissistic personality disorder PDF - What it says on the tin.
Narcissus and the Daffodils - an essay about NPD by someone with NPD. Probably the best description I’ve ever seen
Things to watch and listen to:
Recovery FOR the Narcissist by Dr. Eric Perry - A compassionate podcast to provide insight, support, and encouragement to anyone who exhibits narcissistic tendencies. Very in-depth
Early Morning Barking - A YouTube channel by someone with BPD and NPD about coping with and educating people on BPD and NPD. He also has a Recovery from NPD by Dr. Todd Grande - A video about this provider’s experience with helping people recover from NPD
Misc:
Narcissism Self Help Therapy website - A daily program for people with NPD (may have some triggering aspects in Part 2 of the program)
NPD Safe carrd resources - More resources for NPD (I have not gone through all of these so I don’t know how good they are)
NPD Recovery Comics by The Ego System - A bunch of fantastic comics about recovering from NPD.
collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:
even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body
you don't have to brush your teeth standing up
you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering
you don't have to shower with the lights on
if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath
if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria
eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food
you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it
some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them
kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time
if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are
we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it
Begging begging begging leftists... "leftists" to stop using ableism to attack fascists and people who are threats to humanity and the Earth
White supremacist #57 is not "smooth brained" or "psychotic" or "a sociopath" he is anti-human, violent, and a fascist
Stop making jokes about old politicians having strokes or having cancer or catching x y or z life-long illness because disability is not a punishment, it is a morally neutral state of being
Stop and actually think about disabled people for once. We exist. And we're not in greater leftist circles because nondisabled people never include us, never think about us, never wonder what a perfect world would be like with us in it unless they're also disabled
There's only one real way to categorise disorders and it's when you google it and the first results fit into one or more of the following categories:
1. "Is your child-" "Does your child-" "How to cope with the burden of being a parent for-"
2. "How to get better: Step One: have a lot of money!" "How to get better: Step One: simply stop having it!"
3. "10 Ways To Spot Sickopaths With This Disorder So You Can Protect Yourself" "The Bad People Disease -by Dr. Eugene X."
"All autistics have low empathy" - This statement is wrong.
"Autistics having low empathy is a MYTH, we actually have HIGH empathy!" - This statement is ALSO wrong.
Autistics can have low empathy, they can have high empathy, they can have learned empathy. The myth would be that all autistics only experience one end of the empathy spectrum.
In spreading around misinformation that autistics actually have high empathy, you are disregarding the autistics who do have low empathy. And vice versa.
there is no positive connotation to the word 'narcissist' in any context. if i'm talking about what psychs identify in me as 'narcissistic traits' I use the word because the behavior i'm describing is objectively harmful to myself and others. it's very odd to see people attempt to spin it into something positive as a form of anti-ableism.
Disability will have you thinking shit like “I’m not even that disabled. I can manage as long as I limit myself to very specific careers, never go shopping for more than an hour or two at a time, keep my plans open so I can cancel and stay in if need be, and only go out a few nights per week at the most”
Sometimes being disabled feels like you’re surrounded by people with superpowers, and you’re the only regular human.
Because I don’t really feel like I can do less—I feel normal. I’m so in tune with my own body, my own abilities, my own experience. I’ve lived this way for so long.
But then I look at other people, and see how much more they can do, their stamina, their resiliency, and I’m…baffled. Befuddled. Astonished. They seem downright superhuman compared to me. They seem like goddamn superheroes.
Autism acceptance includes accepting all autistic manners of communication.
That means supporting autistic people who talk in a "very childish" way. (I do this a lot irl)
Autistic people who do "TV talking" (this means talking like a character from your favorite media,basically talking in quotes and copying their speech patterns,as far as I know)
Autistic people who use echolia.
Autistic people who are very awkward/quirky when they communicate.
Autistic people who are overly technical,or have very sophisticated and articulate speech.
Autistic people who mumble.
Autistic people who talk really fast.
Autistic people who can't control their tone of voice/inflection.
Autistic people who talk in a monotone voice.
Autistic people who use different kind of sounds,or body language to communicate.
Autistic people who talk slowly and draw out their syllables.
Autistic people who use a lot of sentance fillers.
Autistic people who use Aac devices,communication cards,etc etc.
Edit: acceptance of nonverbal autistics is also necessary. Nonverbal people deserve love,respect,acceptance,accommodation and support.
[Header Image ID: The disability pride month. It's dark gray with five diagonal stripes, in the following colors: red, yellow, white, blue and green. ]
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