Books and things to read:
Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Aimed at providers but apparently super great for self-help too
How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult? by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Tips on how to stop seeing yourself and other people as only either all-good or all-bad
10 Stages in the Treatment of Narcissistic Disorders by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Goes through the stages of treating NPD
Rethinking Narcissism by Dr. Craig Malkin - A book about promoting healthy narcissism instead of unhealthy narcissism
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders by Dr. Daniel Fox - what it says on the tin. May be best done guided by a therapist
Shame in patients with narcissistic personality disorder PDF - What it says on the tin.
Narcissus and the Daffodils - an essay about NPD by someone with NPD. Probably the best description I’ve ever seen
Things to watch and listen to:
Recovery FOR the Narcissist by Dr. Eric Perry - A compassionate podcast to provide insight, support, and encouragement to anyone who exhibits narcissistic tendencies. Very in-depth
Early Morning Barking - A YouTube channel by someone with BPD and NPD about coping with and educating people on BPD and NPD. He also has a Recovery from NPD by Dr. Todd Grande - A video about this provider’s experience with helping people recover from NPD
Misc:
Narcissism Self Help Therapy website - A daily program for people with NPD (may have some triggering aspects in Part 2 of the program)
NPD Safe carrd resources - More resources for NPD (I have not gone through all of these so I don’t know how good they are)
NPD Recovery Comics by The Ego System - A bunch of fantastic comics about recovering from NPD.
shaking myself (very gently) . being in pain takes a lot of energy!!!!!! being in pain is exhausting!!!!!!! you are not lazy or weak because you need to spend so much time resting, this is your body coping with how much pain you’re in literally 24/7!!!!!!!!!
It's all fun and games talking about your disability and advocating for it until your disability disables you and you start hearing that stupid voice in your head telling you that you're a faker and don't deserve your accommodations
hey, disabled person! do you feel tired all the time? do you feel like you’re working twice as hard as abled people for half the outcome? do you take longer to do every single little thing than an abled person would see as reasonable? well. I would like to introduce you to the concept of crip labour (I first came across this in Smilges, 2023 but I cannot verify whether they came up with the term)
crip labour is a term to describe all the extra work disabled people do on a day-to-day basis. it’s also a form of labour that is invisible to abled people, because they just don’t have to think about most of it. it includes:
the extra labour required to get ready to leave the house in the morning (e.g. the extra steps involved in getting dressed or having a shower)
the social labour required in order to communicate your needs to abled people
the labour involved in having to plan ahead (e.g. knowing where accessible toilets are, knowing where ramp access is, knowing which venues are safe for you to be in)
the administrative labour involved in gaining access to particular institutions (e.g. applying for disability welfare, applying for education access plans, etc)
having a term to describe all the labour involved in keeping yourself alive and happy helps to make that labour more visible. it gives us a way to point out that we are doing more and with less capacity, and it helps to explain why so many of us are so exhausted all the goddamn time
so I hope this is a helpful term for people to bring into their lives!
There's only one real way to categorise disorders and it's when you google it and the first results fit into one or more of the following categories:
1. "Is your child-" "Does your child-" "How to cope with the burden of being a parent for-"
2. "How to get better: Step One: have a lot of money!" "How to get better: Step One: simply stop having it!"
3. "10 Ways To Spot Sickopaths With This Disorder So You Can Protect Yourself" "The Bad People Disease -by Dr. Eugene X."
sometimes i feel like people forget autism is a disability. and that’s not a bad thing! i’m all for disability acceptance, im proud of my disabilities. but i feel like we forget autism can hurt.
it hurts that i have to put more time and energy into socializing than others.
it hurts when i need to move so bad, usually cause im overwhelmed by either my surroundings or emotions, that i thrash and hurt myself.
it hurts that i cant be in places that are too loud or too bright, which on bad days can be as simple as a small, quiet noise or dim lights.
it hurts that i struggle to tell when im hungry, thirsty, tired, etc. so i can’t properly take care of myself. it doesn’t help my insomnia and i get very nauseas and get UTIs.
i 100% believe in autism acceptance. i don’t want a cure. but i also want us the acknowledge that it can hurt. it doesn’t mean my entire life will hurt, but some parts will. and i want a community where we can see both sides, see the hurt, and celebrate it anyway.
there is no positive connotation to the word 'narcissist' in any context. if i'm talking about what psychs identify in me as 'narcissistic traits' I use the word because the behavior i'm describing is objectively harmful to myself and others. it's very odd to see people attempt to spin it into something positive as a form of anti-ableism.
There are no disabilities which are raised above ableism. The person in the wheelchair, the autistic person, the person with schizophrenia and the person with an invisible chronic illness may all experience society's ableism in different ways, but none of them can expect to avoid it. So the "you wouldn't say X to Y" advocacy needs to retire yesterday. They say all kinds of ableist shit to all of us and it's time to try out some actual solidarity instead of arguing about who has it slightly worse
"Oh you talk to yourself! That's unhealthy!"
UGHHHHH NO ITS NOT SHUT UPPPPPP. I'm tired of people acting like it's a bad thing! I talk to myself because what ELSE am I supposed to down with all this energy??? I talk to myself because it makes me feel like I'm releasing energy! ITS A GOOD THING and actually BENEFITS ME. And I only do it when I'm alone anyways, so who CARES.
[Header Image ID: The disability pride month. It's dark gray with five diagonal stripes, in the following colors: red, yellow, white, blue and green. ]
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