So I Broke My 24 Hr Fast Today But.... I Definitely Stayed Under 1000 Calories And That Makes Me Happy

Morning tea with a little cream

This is my first time trying Coffee-Mate zero sugar coffee creamer and it's a pumpkin spice version and it is only 15 calories per tablespoon! I am super shocked how good it tastes. So for now on I'll be buying the zero sugar kind for my coffee creamer. The second one I have is a terrainy salted caramel sugar-free kind which has zero calories and that too is also pretty good. I'm tempted to toss out all my other high calorie coffee creamers and coffee syrups but that's a waste of money so I'll just budget my calories accordingly and next time I'll just buy the sugar-free kind

Hey guys im back and im going to start restricting again. I don't care about being beautiful I just want to feel light and thin!

Im gonna-

-Count my calories and weigh out my food 1,200 for me MAX

- Drink lots of water and decaf tea with splenda

-Take a multivitamin daily and extra vitamin c

-Add a protein shake supplement to my diet

- Fall out of love with food. It's gross and it weighs me down

Today's Breakfast-

9 egg whites (18 cal each) 162 cal

1 spoonful of splenda 0 cal

1 chopped up potatoes ( 127 grams) 100 calories

1 healthy pinch of salt 0 cal

A dash of smoked paprika 0 cal

A few sprays of Pam's cooking spray 0 cal

1 glass of water 16 oz with ice

3 xtremewellness Tommato and basil wraps 50 cal each- 150

1 small gala apple (108 grams) 62 calories

Total for meal - 474 calories ...

Skipped lunch today. Took a melatonin pill 5mg when I got back from grocery shopping after work 😴. I slept from 10am all the way till 6pm.

0 calories for me. Still at 474.

I had a dream I was eating cheesy pizza then I woke up scared that I had gone way over my calorie intake. The pizza was so darn vivid and juicy. Fuck

I think I'll have some tea instead before I head to work. Now that I awoke I'm not that hungry just thristy.

Ugh... I have to be honest I ended up binging on fast food 🙃. I ate a whole pizza and some cinnamon sticks and I feel like such a fat cow. Oh well tommrow I will be be fasting the whole day to make up for it.

God I fucking suck.... stupid bitch why did you have to give In? Did I really need that fucking slice of pizza? No the fuck I didn't.

Tonight I broke my diet and I ended up purging. I feel numb and empty. I haven't purged since I was 19 years old. I'm 23 now. I purged up so much my head aches and I the trash bag I used weighed so much. All I kept thinking was that I WILL get these 40lbs off of me. I will, I will and I will.

I played some of my favorite music to ease my anxiety while purging. I feel awkward 😕 I can't believe I'm purging again....

Food cravings....

Tonight I'm craving a chicken sandwhich and with bread and I can't have one 😩. This makes me so sad 😞