A Picnic Huh

@whateverthefuckyouwantiguess

could this be a tag game 👀

use this picrew to make you regularly vs what you want to look like (can be minor changes or completely different)

npt- @alexis-angelsss @thehalfbloodedwitch @blackthunder137 @buckleysblossoms @imabee-oralizard @andvys @natti-ice + anyone who wants to <33

Mhmmm maybe some Yandere!Vance x Bimbo!Reader who's like very oblivious to rude comments or just people being mean in general while it irritates vance reader doesn't realize how badly they're being treated so he yk beats the ever living shit out of anybody being rude to them? Eh ion know if i explained it right but i hope you understand what i mean😭 also feminine reader with they/them pronounce if you don't mind?

Love this request bro! Thanks for sending it🙏

My Dumbass 

Yandere Vance x Bimbo/Himbo/Nimbo! Reader. Reader does go by they/them but they are more feminine presenting

Tw: Homophobia/transphobia

“I’m telling you bro if I eat a pound of nachos I’m one percent nachos dude!” The blond male sighs at your stupid comment. “Jesus y/n.” He groans at you. 

“What do you want to drink?” He asks as he looks at the selection of drinks. “I don’t know.” He gives you a stern look as he picks out a drink for himself and water for you. “Thanks dude” you say with a smile as he smiles back.

“Yeah yeah no problem dumbass.” He says with a laugh as you drink the water. Vance looks out the window of the grab n go to see people walking towards it, not just regular people though assholes. “For fucks sake.” 

He groans as they walk over to you both. “Vance what are you doing with this fucking Idiot?” The guy says laughing as his lackies laugh. You tilt your head not being able to tell if they meant it in a joke way as Vance snarls like a rabid dog. 

“Don’t talk about my partner like that.” He says with an angry look. 

“What do you mean your partner? That’s your girlf-“ 

before he can even get the word out Vance lands a sucker punch to his face as you look stunned. “They dress more feminine dumbass! Their not a girl you fucking idiot!” 

He says grabbing his collar with anger as he goons get ready to fight. As one rushes towards him you kick your foot out tripping him as Vance laughs. 

You proceed to kick him with your heel of your boot as Vance beats up the other one. The other one stands there stunned as he just runs away. “Ever call my partner a girl again I will kill you that’s a fucking promise, understand?” “I-“ “DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?” 

He yells out angrily as the bully starts crying. “Go cry somewhere else bitch.” He spits out throwing him to the ground as he runs away. 

He looks at you with his hands on his hips as you let the man below your boot out. “Why didn’t you say anything?” He questions with frustration.

“Why would I say anything they weren’t being rude?” You say tilting your head confused as his eyes go wide. “Jesus your a fucking airhead.” He laughs as he takes a sip from his sprite. 

“Alright that besides the point, wanna watch me kick your ass in pinball?” He says with a smile as you nod happily. You make him angry but he loves you and wouldn’t have you any other way.

I fucking hate my parents sometimes I wish someone could just take me away

Sorrowful Secrets

Hange x Reader angst

Y/n sighs as they pack their clothes in a suitcase with tears in their eyes. They had a mission to fulfill, it was for their own good. Right? They hurry knowing Hange should be home soon. ‘I can’t let them see me.’ They thought, their boss told them to come in secret. No one even Hange could see them. 

 They wipe their eyes as they grab resources. As they finish up they hear their bedroom door crack. “Hello my love!” Hange hugs them with a smile as they smile gently at them. “Why are you dressed it like 1 am?” They say tilting their head as they adjust their glasses.

“I have some business to attend to.” They say as they walk out of Hange’s arms. “O-oh well what are you doing.” They ask nervously as their anxiety starts to hit. “I can’t say.” They wipe their eyes as they try not to break down in tears. “Why not, I’m your partner we’re supposed to tell each other everything.” They sigh they begin to walk as Hange grabs the back of their collar. 

“Hange let go your making this harder than it needs to be.” They wrap their arms around y/n’s arm as tears fall out of their eyes. “I-I’m not letting you go! Not again..” they cry into them as they beg them not to go. “Hange, please let go I need to go now-“ “just tell me where your going!!!” Y/n knew for a fact they thought they may have been cheating. 

They throw Hange off of them to the ground. As they look down shocked at their own outburst. Hange starts crying out as they grab their hair. “M’ sorry I don’t know what I did wrong! I can fix myself I’ll change for you!” They yell trying to make them stay. 

“Your perfect the way you are Hange. I need to go I’ll be back.” They kiss their forehead leaving them to cry in their shared room. “I love you y/n…” they lay on the floor crying.

Chapter 1: Welcome Back

Chris Redfield X Male Reader

Summary: You get a phone call from an old friend about another old friend to an even older friend.

S.T.A.R.S never gave you the best memories. Death pain and destruction. Though it was awful, you met some of your best friends there.

“Making good out of a bad situation.” was what Chris would say. Now here you lay in your bed trying to nap at 37 years old with almost nothing on your plate. It can drive some people crazy to not have anything to do but certainly not you.

You worked for this, everything.

You always felt pure guilt for the others who didn’t make it this far but you couldn’t reminisce on that. Your therapist taught you that. As you begin to doze off you hear an odd ring. A phone?

Your cell phone doesn’t sound like that though. The phone continues ringing as you get around looking for what could be causing the sound. You bend down as you suddenly hear it get louder. You get on the floor as you look under your bed.

Your eyes go wide as you pull out one of your safes. You pull out one with “S.T.A.R.S” in white bold letters and that’s where the ring was most prominent. You think to yourself trying to remember the code. You made it when you were in you’re 20s of course you didn’t fucking remember.

You groan loudly as it continues ringing over and over when it clicks. You put the code in and it unlocks. You rummage through it pulling out your burner from S.T.A.R.S. You swipe answer as Jill Valentine, one of your best friends smiles at you.

“Really, keeping me waiting?” She asks sarcastically. You laugh “This had all my important messages and info. If anyone found this I’d be shot and so would they.” You rolled your eyes with a smile “Good to see you Captain, oh wait that’s right. Now your.. what a…general- No!-Five star-General!”

You nod at her as she smiles brightly at you. “Anyways what makes you call me 5 years later?” You ask rubbing your eyes. Her smile instantly drops to a blank stare. “It’s about Wesker.” Your smile drops to “A little birdie told us you had some ideas about his “fun” plans.” You somehow knew exactly what she meant. “Let me guess, he’s trying to take over the world huh?”

She laughs as she nods. Though your dark stare doesn’t waver not for a second. “We need you’re help taking him down.” She states seriously. “Do you now?” You ask looking at your clock trying to not make eye contact.

Jill and you always were always close you knew she could read your mood. “Mhm, so what’s your answer?” She asks. You say nothing “You’ll be payed a grand amount sir.” You play with your fingers as you quirk an eyebrow. “You know… Chris is still there. I think you’d love to see how much he’s grown and matured don’t you think.”

Fuck she knew just how to get to you. You turn your attention back to her. “What’s the quickest you can get here sir?” She asks getting a pad and pen out. “Depends on the tickets, transportation and delays. Plus I need to rent something.” She nods “can you be here in 2 days?” You think to yourself.

“I’m in Europe Jill this is gonna be a bit, but if I get an early start I could probably be there by nighttime tomorrow.” She smiles writing that down. “How about this, we can get you the tickets, transportation and housing. You just need to get there on time and prepared to get back in the groove, can you handle that?” She laughs in a annoying way. You scoff as you nod.

“Alright sir, Welcome Back.”

Hopefully this is a decent first chapter thanks for the read 🙏 @whateverthefuckyouwantiguess

IM GLAD YOUR WRITING AGAIN YOU SEXY BEAST ❤️❤️❤️

Anyways König🙌

THE COD MALEWIFE

♡ random headcanons ♡

☆ starring ☆

♡ könig aka the most babygirl of them all ♡

Tw: mentions of anxiety, weight and mature language. Other than that pure fluff

A/N: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU DON'T GET IT HOW MUCH THIS MAN IS STARTING TO GROW ON ME. THIS FUCKING TALL ASS BITCH AND THE OTHER GIANT JACK SKELLIGNTON FUCKER ARE THE BAIN OF MY EXISTENCE. I needed to do write for him, you can blame it on tiktok and it's sinful content and @bloodlst for fueling my obsession

He knows a lot of cool fidgeting tricks with pencils or knives because he needs to keep his hands busy when he's nervous.

It's almost like a security blanket for him when he's around too many people, he carries something he can fidget with and uses it

I can't stress this enough but tall people have back pains and oh boy if könig is tall

He is always cranky in the morning because of it and because he loves to just sleep in the weirdest fucking positions ever

Which is funny cause otherwise his postures is always very straight and stiff, it just that when he sleeps he gets all weird

About that, he hates, absolutely despises, the beds they have during missions

THEY'RE TOO SMALL OKAY? AND TOO THIN AND HE CAN'T FUCKING REST WELL AT ALL

which makes me absolutely sure he downs coffee likes it's fucking water

His breakfast is basically a big ass mug of coffee first and then some herbal or fruity tea or maybe some juice

He loves sweets but has a weirdly good self control

He just likes the idea of savouring things rather than eating all at once bc they're so good

Besides I just know he has also a tendency to gain weight more easily than the others

He just tries to be as healthy and balanced with things as much possible bro

The only times he doesn't pays much attention to what he eats is around the holidays or when he gets to see his family

Which always ends up in him putting some weight but he doesn't cares that much, he always gets in shape before getting back to work

He loves to read, he carries a book everywhere he goes and ITS THAT TYPE OF PERSON WHO CAN'T FUCKING HIDE THEIR REACTION TO WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE STORY

You can actively see this unit of a man closing the book and like getting up and walking away two steps just to turn around and keep reading

HE CAN'T HANDLE THE DRAMA OKAY? LEAVE HIM ALONE

He does not look his age at all. Either bc of how youthful he acts or bc he looks really young no one has ever guessed his age and it's something he find quite funny so he just let people try to figure it out on their own

People are often really mean with him and sometimes really harsh. He knows they're just playing around and they mess up with everyone like that but he gets genuinely hurt sometimes

No one notices cause he always takes it like a champ tho

I feel like ghost kind of gets annoyed at him. Not for the reason you may think

He's just looks always so serene and at peace, but most importantly happy and it's something ghost can't comprehend given what they do for a living

Key word is looks

König is not a sad person by default and he recovers pretty quickly for certain things but he always carries around a weight of guilt and self doubt that is unbearable sometimes

Much like ghost, this man is kind of scare of himself really

He always worries about ending up being some sort of psycho who has no regards towards human lives

He gets so carried away when he's on the mission and often does not realise how efficient and kind of brutal he can get

He is absolutely scared of ghost. Everytime he is in the same room with him he just gets so nervous he ends up embarrassing himself more than once

Look, I may be projecting onto him but I KNOW THIS MAN AND HE HAS HIS JAW FUCKED UP FROM CLENCHING IT TOO MUCH

like I have anxiety and my jaw is dislocated cause ever since I was a kid I was always clenching my jaw while sleeping or unconsciously while going about my day so I just know that someone like him has the same problem

He has definitely popped his jaw and hurted his ear more than once and has ADORABLE CROOKED TEETH CAUSE I DO AND I WANT HIM TOO OKAY?

he is really good at signing but everyone thinks he's not because the few times he has tried to sing in front of someone he fucked up from being too nervous

He knows how to play piano. As matter of fact he has one at home

Prefers wine over beer or cocktails but has a weird ass liking for strong liquors

And BTW he is annoyingly hard to get drunk, this man could get down shot after shot and still be as lucid as ever

Which soap found out by embarrassing himself. König ended up trying to take care for him the whole night cause he felt guilty

When he gets angry is not a pretty scene. He's always so jolly and easy going even if you're rude to him so is hard for him to get angry, but when he snaps this man is not playing around

Smells of fresh laundry and lemon perfume

He is still pretty mad about not being able to be a sniper. Specially because he's good at his job, he knows he is but no one believed in him and his abilities bc of his height and his anxiety

When he was younger everyone always used to talk over him because he had difficulty with speech due to his anxiety

He used to get so frustrated to the point of crying and since no one ever had the patience to listen to him he just used to write on notebooks all the things no one ever wanted to hear

He still does it and has like a lot of diaries filled with rants, thoughts, jokes ecc

When he was younger he used to listen to the FILTHIEST SONGS not knowing what they were about because he didn't understand English well

When he's nervous his accent slips a little bit

He writes letters to his loved ones and specially his s/o when his away from home and has the prettiest handwriting ever

You Strong Fucker

Cw: Asphyxiation, choking, language, violence, gore and just dbd stuff tbh

You were in a chase with Frank, he had his knife up in anticipation. The thought of him stabbing you and watching you gurgle on your own blood had a wave of different emotions filling him. You were focused your eyes looking around for every possible escape, why did it have to be glenvale? 

You hopped a pallet as Frank followed, he was hot on your trail. His knife a few inches from you. You breathe in heavily as he swings you twist and launch your hand to his throat catching him off guard as you tighten. You smile as he drops his knife. “W-what-“ you choke him as he brings his hands up around yours. 

He tries to get loose as you lift him in air putting him against the broken down building. The survivors circle around you both in pure amazement that your choking a killer. “Oh my, your quite strong aren’t you.” Kate says with a slight smile. “Of course they are, that’s why their my favorite.” Bill speaks as Ash laughs at the man being choked on the wall. 

“Are you going to kill him?” Kate speaks a bit nervously. “I say you kill the motherfucker, he’ll be alive in a bit.” Bill speaks coughing a bit. “Look at you making him kiss your grits, nice job kid.” Ash laughs. Frank was so fucking embarrassed. 

You were pondering whether to choke the killer to death or stop. “How about I knock him out and we can finish the gens, extra points right?” You say with a laugh as they all agree. You press down on the sides of his throat even harder as his eyes roll back. You let go as he falls to the ground knocked out. 

“The others are gonna be thrilled to hear someone choked out a killer, except David.” Ash says as Kate and Bill head to another gen. He pays your back as he leads you to another gen.  After a little Frank wakes up to hear the exit gate being powered on. His whole body was weak. He tried to get up but he couldn’t. 

He sighs as he lays on the floor tiredly. “First time being choked huh?” You say with a smirk. “Shouldn’t you be leaving.” He spoke his voice still raspy. “Mhm.” You hand him a glass of water from the bar as he questions it but he just decides to drink it greedily. You smile at his eagerness as you grab him picking him up bridal style as he drops his cup. He’s shocked as you carry him upstairs. 

You put him in one of the beds, dusty but they got the job done. “Get some rest no one should bother you for awhile. Till we meet again.” You say walking out of the door closing it. Frank looks shocked as he takes his mask off running a hand through his blonde hair. 

“David’s gonna shit his pants.” Bill says laughing as you walk into the gate. “You’ll have to do this with more killers, maybe Clown! This gonna be so cool y’all!” Kate says with a smile as she pumps her fist. “Calm down Missy, we don’t know dear MCs power level yet even.” Ash says as he puts his hands on his hips. 

“All I know is I’m telling David, that Irish bastard is gonna be running to his pot of gold.” Bill says as he laughs even harder choking as you pat his back. You sigh at the bickering adults as the timer starts to run out. “We’ll talk about it later let’s get going.” You say as you walk out all of them following. 

Frank watches you from the dirty window with a slight smile. He was so confused on if you’ve done this to other killers. He lays back down as he thinks about telling the rest of the group. He yawns as he falls back to sleep his lungs still burning a bit, a reminder of you’re badassery.

Chapter 3: Jill!!

Chris Redfield x Male Reader

Summary: You’re back in business!! But sadly one of your friends is out of it.

You slowly begin to open your eyes as you look around. You yawn as you sit up. You sit there for a moment thinking about everything. You sigh as you grab your burner calling Jill. 

“Yello” She answers in a new outfit. “New fit huh?” “You know it.” You laugh “I can start heading over if you want.” She quirks an intrigued eyebrow. “You sure?” She asks sincerely looking at you with that same old slight smile. You nod as she sighs. “Alright, you know where we are take your time.” She waves than hangs up. 

You crack your neck as you put comfy clothes on as you begin walking to S.T.A.R.S. You open the door the smell of coffee abusing your nostrils. Your face scrunches as you walk towards the front desk.

A  man with brown hair and a cold face comes up to you. “Can I help you?” He asks in a stern tone. You nod showing him your badge. “Is Jill here?” You ask looking around. “Welcome back Mr.L/n, I’ll call her down.” He grabs the phone dialing her number as they begin talking. 

Finally he sets the phone down. He salutes you and walks the other way. 

“Well thanks for not keeping us waiting.”

 You see Jill next to Chris as his eyes go wide. You waved and smiled as you could see a light blush dust his skin. Allergies maybe. 

“Alright get your ass up here General L/n we got some shit to do.” Jill makes a hand motion as you follow. You give a wink to Chris as you continue following Jill. 

“Here it is.” She pulls out a uniform as she hands it to you. It was a green suit with a black hat, it had golden circles around its wrists and your badges. Your old uniform. “You’re old ass better make do with this.” She laughs flicking your forehead as you slap her hand away with a smile. 

She walked away letting you put the uniform on. You looked great. You smoothed the suit out rubbing away any invisible flaws. You grinned in the mirror as you waved to Jill. 

You walk down the stairs next to Jill as you look at Chris with a bright smile. “Look at you Chris! You look amazing.” “I can say the same.” He smiles as Jill rolls her eyes playfully. 

“I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and hope your ass can still fight.” She presses a finger into your chest. You nod as you 3 get into a car as other people begin to follow.

 “So what’s going on?” You ask crossing your legs “Weskers trying to take over the world and we called you here for your fighting skills and your relationship with him. You guys were best friends and you can’t deny it.” You knew she was right and so did everyone else. 

You all arrive safely to a familiar look mansion. You sigh cracking your neck. 

Finally you guys reach a entrance with a bit of commotion. You made it through a bunch of zombies, you’ve got this. You continued stretching as you all went in. There were zombies of course.

 You had your gun ready and so did Chris and Jill. The amount of teamwork they had was incredible, you missed having that. To be fair, you missed them. 

You guys finally made it to a room. You looked on the floor to see Spencer dead. Not like you cared he was an ass and had it coming. You tighten your face up as you see Wesker facing a window. He turns around and for a moment you could see a look of shock in his hidden eyes. 

“L/n.” He spoke “Wesker.” You said with malice. He laughs as he walks around. “Never thought you’d act on this, than again you were the type of man to play around with your intrusive thoughts.” You say with a slight smirk as his own drops. 

You turn the safety off your gun as Chris and Jill watch your little argument. He rushes into you with a punch as you quickly block it. “Still punch like a little boy huh?” One thing Al couldn’t stand was someone mocking him. Chris and Jill start firing their guns. Wesker knew he couldn’t go after you, he’d get to angry from your snarky remarks and lose focus. He’d also just lose. 

He decided to go after Chris. You noticed they always had a great relationship before you left. Not now. Chris and Wesker got a lot of good punches in as the zombies started piling outside the door. “Jill, help Chris!!!!” You shout shooting at the incoming zombies, she nods. It was a split second, you turned around to see Wesker about to kill Chris as Jill rushes into him knocking him out the window. 

Chris scurried up as you follow finishing the rest of the zombies with lazy shots from behind. “Jill!!” Chris shouts out from below. “Fuck, fuck fuck!!” You shout slamming your gun down. 

Maybe you were rusty…?

@whateverthefuckyouwantiguess @allen-444 🙌 hopefully this is decent

Your Chris Redfield x Male!Reader was amazing! If this series coutinues feel free to tag me! I loved the story and how it all ended! Keep writing, lots of love! 🫶🏻

Aw thanks babe!!! I think im gonna keep that for the end because I don’t wanna ruin it with a sequel 🙄 thanks so much for the love and support babe I appreciate it so much!!! 🙏though im not sure what im gonna write next let me know if you want anything 😘