Can I Pls Have Some Nsfw Slenderman Headcanons 😗

Well, appearantly you haven't! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘☺️😉😌😁🥳🤣😂👉🏻👈🏻

Hewwo! Guess what! I became a bird mommy to a beautiful () female crow just this morning and she's a precious, very non-aggressive and super chill sweetheart! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘🥳😁😌😉😳🥺🥹☺️😇✨👉🏻👈🏻

A spider raising a crow.

And here I believed I have seen everything.

Mind it I'll also have a swig of that? 🕷️❤️😍😘🥰😌😁😋😉🤤☺️💯👉🏻👈🏻

Speaking of whiskey...

...You still have the one I imported?

Any flies you wanna get rid off by the way? @consult-sherlockholmes said there were some around your flat and that they are annoying to you. 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌🥳😋😉😁

Hi John! I've missed halking to you! I tried to tag you in my post about the new account but I don't know if you were sucessfully tagged in it! Anyways, hello again! 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌😉😁🥺🥹😭

Hello there!

Ah, no I didn't see it but welcome back!

Can I use that for roaches as well? 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🤭😂🤣😅😁☺️😳😉😋🥳👀👉🏻👈🏻

Tumblr seems to do targeted advertisements now. Or maybe that was just a coincidence that they are providing an ad for meat seasoning right after I posted about a cannibal seasoning their meat of choice. "The taste their meat craves" They even got the garlic I just talked about. Very fitting. Meat seasoning for cannibals. How neat. At least we now know the perfect christmas present for any cannibalistic friend you have.

HC for all four slender brothers s/o being put in hospital by some thugs ✨ thanks ❤️❤️ ily you and your blog

um, IlY TOoO uwu

Slender

It’s not exactly easy to sneak into a hospital when you’re a 6-8ft tall faceless, pale, lampost.

But he’ll go to great measures for his s/o.

Especially when they’re injured.

He’ll probably get one of the proxies to distract the nurse or doctors while he *poofs* into the room.

He makes sure you’re alright first and talks to you in a soothing voice.

He’ll ask if you need/want anything from home.

He’ll stay by your side and kiss your hands as long as he can.

He’ll casually ask for physical features, names, clothing, even voice descriptions of the attackers.

He doesn’t act too suspicious though, just wants to know so you can avoid them.

And possibly talk to them like a gentleman.

He’ll leave when the doctor starts to make his way to the room, and he’ll give you a quick kiss goodbye.

Knowing you’re in good hands gives him a peace of mind while he’s out and about.

He’s a no mercy kind of fellow.

Especially when it comes to others hurting the people he cares about.

Let’s just say they won’t be roaming around town anymore and his suit is beyond salvageable.

Splendor

Immediately by your side,

He grabs whatever he think’s you’ll need from home.

Phone, clothes, tablet/laptop, anything to distract you from your stay at the hospital.

He won’t ask you what happened at first, he’s too focused on making sure you’re well taken care of and that you’re not severely injured.

He’s not the strongest out of all of his brothers, but he can be the scariest.

So you can bet after visiting you for 5 hours, he’s off trying to find who possibly attacked you.

He’ll approach them like a gentleman at first, politely informing them who is s/o is, what their favorite color is, and how they take their coffee.

He’ll drag it out and spiral down into commenting how they won’t care about thee things or how his s/o is injured in the hospital.

He won’t kill them no, no.

But they’ll wish he had.

Trender

“oH My gOd-”

He let’s himself freakout at home after he got the phone call.

He forgets to grab everything he needs.

No phone, no jacket, not even changing out of his sweatpants.

Which is a crime, to say the least.

He’s practically in tears when he sees your state.

He’ll ask if you’re okay even tho you obviously aren’t.

He’ll talk to you, but he doesn’t ask questions about the attack.

He doesn’t want you to relive the traumatizing experience.

He’ll get you some gross cafeteria hospital food.

He’ll promise to protect you and walk you everywhere.

He’s not the violent type, so he won’t go out and do the deed himself.

But once you’re ready to talk, he’ll get the information he needs and relays it onto someone else.

It may be one of his brothers that owes him something, or perhaps someone more trained.

He has some good connections, after all.

Offender

He’ll check on you real quick first.

He has to make sure you’re okay before uhh..running some errands.

His visit isn’t a happy one to say the least.

His tone his flat, and he keeps questioning you about their looks, their voices, anything he’s able to use to be able to track them down.

If you won’t talk about it, he might take a peek into your mind with some classic telepathy to see for himself.

He’ll keep in touch with you by calling, face timing, and texting you, but he’ll be too busy to visit you for longer than ten or fifteen minutes.

After he buys a new coat, he assures you everything has been, “Taken care of” and that you’ll be safe.

He didn’t only go after the attackers, he went after everyone they may or may not be connected to.

He’ll visit you with a much more softer tone, and a bouquet of nice flowers.

He’ll assure you that no one’s out there to hurt you anymore.

And me! I like flies! 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😌☺️😉😁✨💯🥳🤤👉🏻👈🏻

Hi Jim! Did you miss me?

- @consult-sebmoran

Again? You drop and pop up like flies.

Which is perfect for someone like me.

Damn right, they do! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍✨💯😂🤣🤤😏😁🤭😋😌😉☺️🙂👀👉🏻👈🏻

The best booty calls have 8 legs.

Well, then I think it's time for you to deduce and find out! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😄😁😆😉😌☺️🤣😂💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

... I can't even send a gif? Boooring!

Fascinating that you have been testing it.

Are you bored or are you jealous of the new case I'm working on?

Thanks, Sherlock! 🕷️❤️😍🥰😘😄😁😆😅😂🤣😉☺️😌🥹🫠👉🏻👈🏻

What's more fitting for Valentine's Day than a heart? Besides a beheading, of course. Although the organ responsible for the feeling of "love", or also known as massive release of Oxytocin and Dopamine, is the brain. But culturally the heart is seen as the residing place of love. Although the heart does express Oxytocin receptors and can respond to it, in experiments even inducing stem cells to regenerate the heart. Maybe love does have its use after all.

Anyway, have a microscopy picture of a heart, showing cardiomyocytes.

Shame the user is anonymous! We'd probably become friends if I could dm them! 🕷️❤️😘😍🥰😌☺️😉😁✨👉🏻👈🏻

Entomomania doesn't have anything to do with fear. It's the total opposite. It's the abnormal love for insects.

So what do you think about people that are utterly obsessed and head over heels in love with all kinds of bugs?

And yes, the cake is dark chocolate and it's also home made. I hope you liked it.

You are quite right. Thankfully, our resident arachnid expert @talking-tarantula was able to catch that unfortunate blunder.

So, what is my opinion on people that have an unnatural obsession with insects and spiders? Whatever keeps you occupied and away from illegal activities, all the better. Better to have an obsession and make a decent career out of it, than to have no interests and drown in mediocrity.

Oh

Homemade, you say? Well, who am I to deny you the satisfaction of gifting a work of art to someone such as myself. I shall savor it all the more.