Listen. I Love When A Cutie Tries To Act Like They’re Not A Horny Baby.

dear future partner

we gonna fuck a lot love ya

The real reason it’s a fucking travesty Peter Parker is “straight” is that he would have a fucking field day making gay jokes. Imagine Spiderman wit mixed with millennial gay humour. He’d be unstoppable

Lmao

listen……. ‘my love’ is literally the strongest and greatest pet name in existence. there is literally nothin better than somone callin you that….. especially when things are soft and quiet and they look at you with utter adoration and whisper “what’s the matter, my love??” or “i hope everything is okay with you, my love” like oh my god?? let me marry you already

I could go on and on about why Ready Player One looks like a steaming pile but if there’s one thing that absolutely pisses me off is that in this game where you can be anything, everyone chooses to be a character like Tracer or a battletoad and nobody looks like this

Like you wanna tell me there’s nobody out there who’s just a walking abomination with the name ‘undertale_real_420’? Have you played an MMO?

Let's make tea together and cuddle under some warm blankets

LISTEN THE HECK UP YOU GUYS.

AND LET ME TEACH YOU A THING ABOUT MY NEW FAVORITE CELEBRITY, BRIAN ROBERTS. 

He’s the CEO of Comcast, but GET THIS: HES ACTUALLY REALLY HECKING RAD.

I know, hearing he’s a CEO of a billion dollar company immediately makes you think he’s greedy, but he actually DONATED 76000 DOLLARS TO DEMOCRATS. 

 YES. 

 DEMOCRATS. 

 NOT REPUBLICANS. 

 AND HE SUPPORTS HILLARY. JUST LIKE US.

He also supports the affordable health care act.

You know, OBAMACARE?

HE SUPPORTS OBAMACARE YOU GUYS. 

And people will say, what? He’s still a rich old white guy. How is he any different from, say, Trump? 

Well I say, he’s completely different from trump.

He’s not racist, homophobic, aphobic, OR a terf. 

He’s just a cute bean trying to make his way in the world. He worked HARD for all his money, and works harder than any of his employees. 

And he has three kids, so we know he’s also a super sweet dad.

Plus…he’s super hecking cute. 

Move over markiplier, i think i just found my newest celeb crush. 

SO.

HE SUPPORTS HILLARY, DONATES TO DEMOCRATS, LOVES OBAMACARE, IS HECKA CUTE, AND OWNS THE BEST CABLE COMPANY IN THE WORLD?!

SIGN ME THE FRICK UP.

*barf*

Show me your TITS

T- Time I-Interest T- Thoughtfulness S- Some titties