Hi

-Shitpost-

“So… we inherit those cool powers that Joyce has and then we carry on his name!” Joachim says smiling “what else!”

“You become a compulsive liar and a compulsive manipulater. You make a deal with a man who looks a lot like Ottto to protect the son you adopt only to realize you’ll be stuck with said Otto looking person for the rest of your life because neither of you can die.” Welt says smiling at his younger self “oh and don’t forget the constant overwhelming fear that everyone you trust is going to betray you! Oh and the voices that don’t let you sleep.”

“I don’t want to become a Herrscher anymore.” Joachim says

“Life sucks buddy. Get over yourself.” Welt says “you also eventually realize your probably the reason your parent got divorced.”

HSR vs HI3 Post arguement

HSR:

Anaxa: I’m sorry about anything I said it was all in the heat of the moment

Phainon: oh Anaxa, it’s fine I understand fully. We’re still friends at the end of the day

Anaxa: I’m happy about that Phainon

HI3:

Kevin: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE I SAID IM SORRY ALREADY

Su: *Beating the shit out of Kevin with a slipper.* SORRY ISNT FUCKING ENOUGH! FOR THE LAST 50,000 YEARS IVE PUT UP WITH YOUR SHIT AND IM MAKING YOU PAY FOR ALL THE SHIT YOU PUT ME THROUGH *Starts calling Kevin every slur known to man in every single fucking language*

Elysia: *Trying to pull Su away.*

Hmm~ What on your mind?

Nothing my head is empty.

Guys real question, how the fuck do I stop serving cunt? Like serious question. I’m scaring away my guy friends. I look to good and it’s giving way too much.

I felt like this fit these 2. Sorry it’s kinda ass. :(

I worked so hard please let this blow up

(Ship Post)

(Dr. Mei x Su x Kevin)

Dr. Mei lets out an overdramatic sigh, pulling Su into a hug from behind “ Su~ it My turn with you~.” Mei says

Kevin scoffs “According to whom?” Kevin crosses his arms “According to me! Your constantly hogging him, I think I should get a turn now. Your not the only one with needs and desires.“ Mei says tightening her hold around Su’s waist “I thought I made myself clear when I said you get your turn with him when I’m busy. It’s not my fault you don’t use that opportunity.” Kevin says with a sigh

“ You took a break from project stigma and now your never busy and I don’t get my turn. It’s not fair, I should get to play with Su just as much as you do!” Mei says “ So I’ll just take my turn now, right here.” Mei begins to lick and bite Su’s neck causing him to shiver “ What a sex deprived women you are Mei. Your going to use him right here? In my office? Where anyone could walk in and see?” Kevin says

“ Hey, here’s an idea. Let just take it to the bedroom and you both can take turn with me. Or maybe both of you can use me at the same time. How about that? Kevin gets to keep using me and Mei gets her turn. It’s a win win!” Su says putting up his hand in a calm fashion trying to keep the two from fighting over his body. “ No let’s not take it to the bedroom. We can have a threesome right here in my office. It’s still a win win isn’t it Su?” Kevin says grabbing Su’s chin with one hand and forcing Su to look up at him “ I don’t mind that idea. The thrill of getting caught just get me hot.” Mei says. Su gulps before sighing, this wasn’t going exactly how he wanted it but at least they weren’t fighting… Su just hopes he can walk in the morning

(End of the post. If ya’ll want me to I’ll post a follow up smut to go along with it.)

Cartoon smartphone with devil horns and an evil grin: Well, well, well, look who's tipsy. Better use one of my rideshare apps, drunkie. Those taxi driver unions aren't gonna bust themselves! Ha ha!!

Cartoon beer can with little angel wings and a halo appearing above my shoulder as I start my car: Hi! I'm Roadie, the Road Beer! Wanna play a fun game? It's called "drink me all up before you drive past the elementary school"!

Muffled voice coming from my glove box: Uh oh, looks like we're getting pulled over! You're gonna be real glad I decided to come along!

I was just rereading the 2nd Key manga of hi3 and I realized Su was forcing Bianka to go through what he went through to tell if she was worthy of taking over his mission with the 2nd divine key and the Abyssal Flower, and in that life from Bianka’s POV she gets sick with the Honkai after saving a patient.. meaning that in the canon timeline Su came down with the Honkai before Mei ever did! And the MANTIS surgery saved his life!! So Su got sick with the Honkai before Mei, so Mei dying to the Honkai hurt two times harder for Kevin because he knows that it could have been Su who died of the Honkai as well.

Y’all the shit I realize when hyper analyzing whilst also half asleep is crazy-

Fuck it, I wanna see y’all’s favorite duos (regardless of gender) in these fits.

CHOP CHOP YALL

-Shitpost-

“Wait- How do I know your not Sparkle?” Caelus asks

“How do you know I am sparkle?” Welt says giving Caelus finger guns

“Good question.” Caelus says

Welt face palms

“Caelus That’s the joke. Don’t over think it.” Welt says

“Hmm.” Caelus says

“No seriously I’m Sparkle. Stop thinking you’ll hurt yourself.” Sparkle says ending her false appearance as Welt

“Hmmmm.” Caelus continues to think

“Dear Aeons above CAELUS.” Sparkle says shaking Caelus’s shoulders

“Huh?” Caelus says having snapped back into his senses

-just a dumb idea-