Love Isn’t Everything

Flower Curse | C. Look for the doctor

emptiness ending

[levi x male!reader x erwin] vomiting; hanahaki disease, angst. C. Look for the doctor

You decide to find the doctor Ziegler told you about— maybe he would have more answers for the matter. You didn't exactly know if this 'Timothy Eisenhower' would be any help; Barry mentioned the doctor didn't have any patients with this illness, so the chances of success were already slim in your mind.

Nevertheless, you think this is the best option. You don't want to die suffocated by flowers— that's not how you wanted to go, and not this soon. You wanted to live— live to explore the outside world along with your comrades.

Yes, that's what you are going to do. Determinated, you nod to yourself, leaving the cold room.

___________________

"Now?"

"Yes, right now."

Erwin closes his eyes, thoughtful. "I can't go with you— the expedition is in two days and—"

"I'm not asking you to come with me." You bluntly say, interrupting him, "I just need the address Barry gave you– I'm a big boy, Erwin. I can go alone." Crossing your arms, you look expectantly at him, waiting for the paper.

The blond sighs, calming himself; trying not to get too stressed with your childish behavior. No way in hell he will let you go alone in your current state— even if you act like a teenager and throw tantrums, Erwin will not allow you going by yourself. Who knows what would happen to you? You could faint; you could throw up in front of the Military Police and god knows what they will do to you. Hell, even Erwin could think of–

"Hey, Erwin! Time doesn't wait!"

The commander rubs his temples, trying to think who could accompany you. Hange and Moblit are not available at the moment, and they are the only ones who know about your illness. He knows you will not talk to anyone about the curse, but he just will not allow you going by yourself.

Erwin has only one choice, "Mike will accompany you."

You blink, surprised, "Mike? But he doesn't know about this... I think it's better if–"

"You will not go alone— you won’t go outside without any company. You are absolutely forbidden going by yourself, am I clear, [Name]?" Erwin demands, looking fiercely at you, making you uncomfortable and gulp by the sudden tension in his voice.

Well, when Erwin was acting like this there wasn't much room for demands. You sigh in defeat, making him relax by your change. The blond wasn't pleased by any means using this tone with you— but if it made you obey him, then he had to obligatory use it.

"In any case, I believe Mike has his suspicions. I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned anything."

"Alright, alright... Mike is it, then."

__________________

Fortunately, Mike wasn't a man of many words, so the traveling was spent in silence. It seemed Erwin had explained your situation to him, or maybe the tall man just somehow knew everything with his nose of his. Or maybe he didn't bother to ask at all— you weren't sure. Mike didn't really give out what he was thinking that easily.

You were transported to Wall Maria, but you had to walk to point A to B. The doctor was in a district not far from where your transportation left you— so Mike and you didn't mind walking.

"I've smelled different type of flowers on you." Mike suddenly spoke, thinking about something. "Some of them are unrecognizable, but I can smell they are flowers."

You snorted, "Thank you, Mike. That's the most flattering thing someone has said to me."

Mike ignored your joking behavior and kept talking, "and what is rare it's that every time I smell sickness and distress on you, some flower's fragrance appear." He finally looks at you with his stoic expression, "If my assumptions are correct, the flowers are somehow involved with your illness, right?"

You sigh, "You nailed it." Deciding that talking to him was for the best, the rest of the trip was spent by you explaining your situation. Mike listened carefully at everything you said— eventually, his nose could catch a hint of worry and anxiety coming from you. He could smell your distress, and he instantly noticed a certain soft smell— flowers incoming.

Instantly, he could see your face changing in worry, bringing a hand to cover your mouth.

"I—I have to vomit—" You hastily said, looking erratically for a place to hide your sickness. Mike quickly took your shoulders and helped you walk to a lonely alley, where he could see something he never had witnessed — you throwing up flowers. Pink flowers he had never seen or smell before.

You stopped throwing up, but a painful headache came, with the familiar feeling of something stuck in your chest. Mike helped you stand, while you tried to catch your breath.

"Let's just— look for the doctor..."

____________

Mike knocked on the door, with you beside him. You were feeling a little better, but your chest was left with the same feeling. You weren't breathing normally, but thanks to Mike's company you felt a little safer. You thanked Erwin for deciding not leaving you alone.

Not much after that, the door opened, revealing a man. His hair was black, and he showed a neutral expression— his blue eyes were staring at you in confusion.

"Hello gentlemen, what's the occasion?" The man asked, eyeing you too carefully.

You decided to talk, "I'll get straight to the point. I have the stupid flower curse and I need your help." You could see worry in all of his face; he was uncomfortable and tensed.

"I-I don't know what you are talking about, sorry." He said in hurry, closing the door. But thankfully, Mike reacted and stopped the door, leaving it slightly opened.

Was he going to leave you to die? The hell?! "Barry Ziegler told me about you, he said you could help me!" You yelled angrily at him, instantly making him stop.

The doctor looked at you, unsure. "Barry... Ziegler?"

"Yes! The writer!"

The man looked at you two for a couple of seconds, before reluctantly opening the door again. You sighed in relief.

"Come in." He said, letting you in. The man looked outside, seeing if anyone heard you, before closing the door.

_______________________

Timothy, who introduced himself after his little... act, placed tea in front of you. Mike and you were sat on a couch, with a small table in front of you. No one took the tea cups; Mike was with his arms crossed, and you were playing with your fingers on your lap.

"Sorry for my... attitude earlier," Timothy apologized, "It's just, I've been in a couple of problems thanks to this topic, so I had to be careful,"

"Don't worry— just, help me, please." You said, nervous. Mike, who could sense your worry, placed a hand on your shoulder, calming you a little.

The doctor could hear the worry in your voice, he could see your distress on your face— he felt sympathy for you, but he knew he couldn't promise anything.

"I will do everything I can."

After that, the doctor lead Mike and you to a room. It smelled like medicine and herbs; there were a lot of medic instruments you didn't really recognize.

"I will do a check-up, so can you sit here, please?"

You obey. He asks for you to open your mouth, which you uncomfortably do. He takes a look, and a small gasp gets out from his mouth.

Mike instantly asks what is it, worried about your health. The doctor stays in silence, before answering. And what you heard made both of you shiver.

“I can see… a flower growing...”

The room stays in a tensed silence, but the doctor continues with the check-up. After some minutes, he speaks again.

“Like I said before, I will do everything I can to help you. But you have to understand that my options are limited.” He waits for your response, but seeing you weren’t going to give an answer he proceeds, “I’ve been studying this disease for a long time, but with no patients, I haven’t treated anyone. But thanks my research, what I’ve concluded is that a surgery could work.

My hypothesis is that something inside you is growing— and I can clearly see something is in there. Nevertheless, I will be honest with you— surgeries are difficult, and with our limited instruments I don’t know if this could work, and I don’t know the outcome either.

I will ask you: are you completely sure you want to proceed knowing the risks?”

You already knew the risks before coming here. You have been in near death situations every expedition you are in; this isn’t much different.

“Yes, I understand.”

The doctor nods, “We can do the surgery right now, or do you want to-”

“Today.”

“Then follow my orders.”

___________

Mike waited in the living room, tensed. He has been in that house for nearly four hours— it was already dark outside. He didn’t know if he would go back to the barracks. It was logic you would need to rest here, so taking you with him wasn’t a good option, but leaving without you didn’t make him comfortable at all.

Eventually, the doctor appeared, sweating and looking exhausted. Mike wasn’t sure if the surgery was a success or not, and he couldn’t stop himself to worriedly ask.

“Did it work? Is he alright?” Mike got up from the couch, looking expectantly at the man.

The man sighed, before answering,

“It was a success.”

Mike let out a big sigh, relieved.

____________

You had to stay in his house after the surgery— you didn’t wake up right away. But when you opened your eyes, you spotted a blond sitting beside you, with his eyes closed.

You tried to shift your body, but a huge pain in your chest made you grunt. The sound woke up the taller man, and instantly set his eyes on you.

“[Name], how are you feeling? Don’t move too much— your stitches are fresh.” Erwin said, placing his hands on your shoulders.

You blink, disorientated. “W-What…? How did you get here? How long I was out?”

The blond sighs, “When Mike returned without you I nearly had a heart attack. When he told me about the situation I came as fast as I could. Also, you were out for one day.”

You just nod.

“Levi is worried— when he didn’t see you yesterday he barged in and demanded answers. I didn’t tell him the truth, but…”

You didn’t hear him anymore; instead, your head contemplated how hearing that name didn’t bring any feelings this time. No frenetic heart; no butterflies; no thoughts about him. It was… empty. In fact, hearing his name didn’t bring you any joy or hate— and you felt you weren’t in a friendship with him in any way.

In fact… you really didn’t feel anything. Seeing Erwin didn’t bring you comfort, but it didn’t make you tensed. You just… stared, blank. You didn’t feel a thing.

Erwin noticed your lack of attention, looking at your unreadable face— he instantly became worried. The blond always knew what you were thinking by your expressions; he always noticed your feelings right away. But he didn’t see anything; only… nothingness. He became preoccupied.

After that, Erwin called the doctor. Timothy did a check-up on you, and told both of you that maybe the outcome left a shock in your mind, resulting in you not feeling well mentally. He decided you were free to go, and said he wanted you to return for another check-up, to collect information about your recovery.

When you two returned to the barracks, a tensed silence overcome. The commander observed you, seeing your indifferent expression. Your voice sounded low and uninterested, and you barely spoke up.

Everyone noticed your change in demeanor, and they were rightfully worried. Your squad was beyond worried— but you couldn’t explain why you were like this, and you surely didn’t say a thing. It was as if… you didn’t care. As if the world could end and you couldn’t care less.

As expected, your talk with Levi didn’t go well. It went absurdly bad, and the only one who had his feelings shown was the ravenette— he couldn’t understand you at all anymore. It was as if you were another person; not his old friend. You didn’t react at all, you didn’t look for him, you didn’t talk to him.

It was a punch to the gut.

It was as if someone took your feelings away, leaving a vessel behind.

Yes, the petals stopped, but at what cost? Timothy told you maybe this was the outcome of the surgery— your mind changed by taking away the roots from the flowers, leaving you with anything. Tearing apart your feelings.

Erwin was upset by your behavior— he missed your old self. Yes, you were cured, but you weren’t the same. You didn’t talk anymore, your face didn’t show any sign of happiness. He couldn’t see the smile he loved, and that hurt. It did. He couldn’t stop himself to think about you every night, about what could have been if he approached you and embraced you, and he wasn’t very surprised a petal appeared in one of these lonely nights, thinking of you.

Levi was confused and angry. What happened to you? He liked the times were he could hear you laugh, but not there was nothing. Not even a small spark in your eyes, not a smile, not a blush. He was upset— he liked talking to you, and seeing you unresponsive... made him feel sadness. He missed you, and he was desperate when he finally could say that he wanted be with you in a romantic way, but that couldn’t be. You made no sign on wanting talking to him, and even if he approached you in the nicest way possible, you didn’t give answers. Even if he was aggressive, you didn’t give anything. It was as if you never were friends. He was hurt, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

Yes, you were cured, but at what cost?

Are you happy with the choice you made?

this is the best timeline

no thoughts, just the aot sanrio collab

Reiss Mental Asylum / １0

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

"Please, faster~!"

A moan is heard— skin against skin, grunts, gasps. He tightly grabs [Name]'s legs, holding them up. The tight hold leaves bruises, but the smaller man doesn't care— it feels so good, pain and pleasure feels wonderful, a bliss.

"So tight... Fuck!" He grunts, hastening the pace, making his love moan loudly, saying his name between his whines. The sound only makes him excited and messy, as he shifts [Name]’s body to thrust him deeper. The pretty boy whines by the sudden stop. He makes him lay on his side, raising his leg up as he forcefully enters him again without notice, making [Name] arch his back in pleasure as he feels his sweet spot being abused.

“Say my name. Scream it— tell me you are mine.” He demands, his movements less gentle and more dominant. His hold pressing harder the soft skin, making it red. The petite boy moans his name between his whimpers, unable to say something else by the amount of pleasure he’s feeling. That doesn’t satisfy him, as he stops his thrust deep inside [Name]. “I won’t move until you say it, love.”

The smaller male pleads, saying his name, but as much he loved hearing and seeing such gorgeous display, he is desperate of hearing who he belongs to; who he is allowed to be touched by.

“I—I belong to you... I’m yours...” [Name] barely speaks, patting loudly. His teary eyes and flustered face only makes him riled up, and without warning his fast pace awakens. The pretty boy moans, saying he won’t last long.

His’ eyes express possessiveness, but something darker can be caught in them. He only has eyes on him— enjoying every bit of his beautiful form being marked by him and no one else. He was truly his, forever. “I love you so much...”

He shifts [Name]’s body on his chest on the bed, harshly holding his hips bruising them instantly. He can catch between his love’s moans and whimpers saying he will come, unable of formulating words by his current state. He smirks, hugging protectively the smaller form, hardly taking his chin to turn at him and kiss him roughly, [Name] moaning his name between the heat up kiss as both come together.

And then, he wakes up abruptly by the sound of an alarm. Grunting irritated, he sits on the edge of the bed with a clear bulge on his pants. He looks at it irritably, but then remembers the sweet dream he had with his beautiful [Name], changing his upset expression with a smirk.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

“Hello, Bertholdt! Hope you are having a nice morning!” [Name] smiled brightly as he opened the door of his cell room. The patient’s face instantly brightened as he heard the angelic voice of his beautiful doctor. “According to our schedule, today we are gardening. It’s my first time doing it, so please excuse me if I do a mess!”

Bertholdt blushed deeply, unknowing what to say or do. A big contrast of his behavior the other day. [Name] could notice his awkwardness, as he chuckled a little as he approached him but still gave him space. “Did you have breakfast already?” The assistant gently asked, receiving a nod for an answer. He clapped his hands, grinning, “okay then! Let’s go.”

[Name] lend his hand, waiting and wondering if Bertholdt would take it. The taller male, who was still sitting on his bed, felt unsure at first. He felt his heart was going to explode by just being this near around him. Gulping, he shakily took the gentle hand, making [Name] smile. The brunette stood and followed [Name] as he guided him outside the room.

The assistant locked the door and walked alongside the patient, hand in hand. There was a silence [Name] didn’t mind, he talked about anything and everything as he just greeted with a nod the various workers he passed in the way. Bertholdt just nervously looked at the floor, his cheeks blushed in scarlet as he sometimes stole a few glances on the assistant.

He was utterly in love with him— he was gentle and nice to him. He couldn’t believe he was holding hands with him! The assistant made him feel like... a normal person. When he was normal and felt loved. When Bertholdt thought he was going to die in this horrible place, [Name] appeared just like an angel, brightening his path. He was beautiful, gorgeous, pretty...! The brunette couldn’t think more things to describe him, as there couldn’t be explained with words.

[Name] turned to see him with a smile, and the brunette blinked in surprise and look away instantly. The assistant was going to say something, but someone caught his attention, as Bertholdt didn’t feel his gaze on him no more.

“Hey, Vincent!” [Name] greeted happily, instead of just greeting this stranger with just a nod, like everyone else he was greeting. “How’s your morning going?”

“Amazing now that I saw you.” Vincent stated with a grin, making [Name] slightly blush and shake his head with a small smile. The guard felt warm and happy as [Name] didn’t reject his “compliment”.

On the other hand, a certain patient was disgusted by the scene. A frown was plastered on his face, and he was grabbing [Name]’s hand a little too tight. Who was this disgusting devil?

The assistant could feel the sudden change on Berhtoldt demeanor quickly. “W-Well, Berhtoldt and I were going to the garden— see you later, Vincent.” [Name] offered an apologetic smile as Vincent could see the glare the patient was giving him— more like a deadly glare.

“You sure? I mean, I can accompany you…” He stole some looks at the taller patient, who face was darkened in a... unsettling way.

“Don’t worry! Bertholdt and I are going to be perfectly fine!” He chuckled nervously, already walking away from Vincent as he waved with his free hand. Vincent only stared with narrowed eyes as they left, the tall patient’s darkened face still on him.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

“You don’t have to worry, you know? Vincent is a great guard and seek for our protection, including yours.”

Bertholdt remained with his frown, not believing that statement at all. That was a lie— sometimes the guards crossed their boundaries and beated them more than they were allowed when they had their breakdowns.

They deserve what happens to them.

They were disgusting devils; all of them. They didn’t deserve to touch his angel with their nasty hands.

[Name] gently squeezed his hand, taking his attention. Bertholdt’s glare was still present, his body tensed. The assistant knew his’ thoughts were on the guards, so he thought switching the current topic to their current task would be a nice move.

“Let’s go water the plants! Maybe you can show me which are you taking care of.” He showed a warm smile, walking deep into the garden hand in hand with Bertholdt. He could feel the grip softening, and seeing his shoulders relax made [Name] let out a quiet sigh. He didn’t know how Berthtoldt’s outbursts were like— but he imagined they weren’t easy to handle. He was taller and stronger for him— breaking him would be as easy as breaking a branch.

[Name] shuddered at the thought. Bertholdt looked unsurely at him, confused. “Hehe, I think is a little cold here!” [Name] tried to dismiss.

Fortunately [Name] wasn’t going blind to the ‘gardening therapy’. Zeke had explained to him what the usual stuff the patients had to do; usually doctors didn’t intervene, they were there to take notes and observe. [Name] was unsure to follow that.

Basically, patients have plants they care of. This to reduce their stress and anxiety— unfortunately, some patients weren’t fond of doing these sessions. But fortunately, Bertholdt was interested in them.

The two of them took two flowers— a sunflower and a red rose. As this was going to be his first time in gardening, [Name] wanted to share the same occupation as Berhtoldt in helping taking care of the flowers. The assistant could see the surprise in the brunette’s face— the patient was used to his doctors being silent through the whole thing.

He was really precious, wasn’t he?

Both of them kneeled whit the flower in their hands. But Bertholdt wasn’t giving any attention to the flower— his attention was for [Name]. His beautiful smile, his soft gaze... he was perfect. A perfect angel sent just for him.

“I adore you.” Bertholdt spoke, loud enough for the other to hear.

“Uh?” Turning confused, [Name] was met with something warm on his lips— Bertholdt’s ones. The taller male hold [Name]’s face with both hands and closed his eyes, while the assistant’s eyes were widened and froze in shock.

This wasn’t like the small peck he received before— no, Bertholdt was going in. His tongue played with his’, and even if the kiss felt more passionate, it was inexperienced and... gentle, in some way.

[Name] blinked repeatedly before trying to make space between them to break the kiss before they would be seen. His hands were on Bertholdt’s chest, but he wasn’t buying it. Between quick interruptions to take air, [Name] whimpered and tried to speak, but it seemed his pattings and ‘questionable’ noises only made Bertholdt more excited, returning to kiss him.

Fortunately [Name] turned his head to the side, making Bertholdt kiss is cheek instead. The assistant’s lips were red and swallowed, and his chest heaves as he tried to breathe. Unluckily, the taller male kept kissing his neck, sending shivers to [Name] spine. He felt excitedly ticklish, trying to silence any gasp or whimper wanting to get out. He tried to make Bertholdt stay away, but the patient was stronger than him.

“Please, Bertholdt! You need to stop!” The assistant pleaded, uncomfortable and worried. It didn’t seem Bertholdt was listening to him— his big hands traveled to his face to his waist, holding him in place while kissing his neck while whispering things he couldn’t understand. [Name] didn’t want to be found like this! “Someone is going to see us! Please, listen to me!” Memories about a certain blonde saying he wouldn’t be as forgiving came to his mind, growing his worry.

Bertholdt become very affectionate for some reason, ignoring him. [Name] had to wake him up in some way before they were caught and punished. Placing both hands on Bertholdt’s face, the assistant tried to make him focus on him and stop his actions, which l gave him exactly what he wanted: Bertholdt’s attention.

Olive eyes stared and him widely, body froze in place. It was as if the roles had switched. With a crimson color present of his cheeks, [Name] pecked Bertholdt’s nose and gently spoke, “this isn’t right, Bertholdt. We could be in big trouble if we’re found like this.” He tried to reason, a frown on his face.

“But—But I... love you... you—you are my savior, [Name]!” He pleaded, grabbing [Name]’s hands with his own. His eyes widened, getting closer to his face. [Name] gulped, blinking repeatedly. He was absolutely embarrassed and slightly aroused from the sudden action. It wasn’t everyday someone kissed you like that, someone you help, to be certain. But he had to keep his cool, even if his insides were screaming and squirming.

“I appreciate you too, Bertholdt. But you have to understand what you’re doing isn’t right. You don’t want to hurt me, right?” The brunette hastily nodded his head like a child, a sad look on his face. [Name] smiled, “and I don’t want you to get hurt either. Let’s stand up.” The brunette unsurely at first let go off [Name] and stood, lending a hand on the assistant who took it.

[Name] shaked off any dirt on his clothes and helped the other too. Sighing in relief, he thanked Berhtoldt to be this easy to talk to— he really was worried about what could happen if he was seen like that. And not for his well being, but for Bertholdt’s. Yes, the kiss was something he didn’t want at all— being kissed like that without wanting it was… reminding him of something he didn’t want to remember. But [Name] wasn’t angry at Bertholdt, when he looked at that pleading eyes he saw... a frightened child. Was it wrong?

“Okay then, let’s plant them!”

The brunette felt butterflies on his stomach. He wasn’t harsh nor rude to him— in some way, [Name]’s touches reminded him of his mother. The love of his mother… love… gentleness…

Bertholdt smiled, realizing what he really felt while hearing [Name]’s chattering.

e m p t y / 13

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter twelve

someone else

"[Name]! Wake up already!" Eren’s voice is the first thing [Name] hears, right on his ear. His friend moves him and pushes him around, trying to wake him up. The sleepy boy only gets irritated by the harsh movement, punching the brunette away from him. “H–Hey! That hurt!”

”Go away,” is the only thing [Name] can say before hiding his face on his pillow and sleep again. Unfortunately for him, his friend doesn’t give up. Eren tightens his hold on [Name]’s shirt and makes him sit by force, making the sleepy boy a little dizzy by the sudden movement.

”There you go!” He grins, “Marco advised me to lay your clothes here, so hurry and change! I’ll be right back.” He stands in the same spot, looking at [Name]’s cute sleepy state for some time before leaving.

The [hair color] haired is not awake, clearly. His eyes close and open every second, and he can’t sit still. Luckily, all the noise around of everyone talking, yelling makes him not fall asleep again.

[Name] undresses so lazily it almost looks like hes doing it asleep— almost even falling. Somehow he gets poorly dressed, and doesn't even try to tighten the straps around his legs correctly. His hair is a mess, his shirt is a mess, he’s drooling and he’s almost going to fall asleep again. But luckily, a blond passing trough sees his trouble.

"Need help?" [Name] slowly tilts his head and looks at him, trying to recognize him. Reiner can notice he is half-asleep still, and he can't stop a chuckle from seeing his sleepy state. "Damn, I think you are worse than Bertolt."

[Name] just stares a the blond kneeling and tightening his straps, "is as if... they don't want me to wake up,” he says in a whisper, yawning without care.

Blinking, Reiner stops his actions to understand what he means.  What he said came out of nowhere, and it was a couple of seconds what Reiner needed to understand. "They...?"

The [hair color] haired blinks, "I dreamed something important... but I forgot about it...”

[Name] stands up as he sees the blond finished, but Reiner can see his buttoned shirt is horribly done. "Here, you didn't button them right." The blond’s hands brushes against [Name]’s naked skin, making him flinch. The touch makes the taller teenager blush, but fortunately what happened before in training changed his semblance to change the topic, "ah, about what you said before..."

[Name] blinked, slightly tilting his head. "what?"

The blond blinks blankly, his mouth gaping. "In the forest, when we were doing our first practice with the gear," Reiner explains, "don't you remember?"

[Name] rubs his left eye without much care, "I didn't say anything— I just left...?"

"But you said—" He blinks, not fully believing him. But seeing [name]'s clueless expression makes him not say anything and leave things be, "...I guess I just imagined it, uh? It's nothing, then."

"If you say so." [Name] notices Reiner’s hands were frozen buttoning his shirt, and just stares at him curiously. “Are you alright?”

”Uh— yeah, sure. I was just...” he shows a grin, “trying not to lose my mind.”

”Uh?” [Name] takes Reiner’s left hand, seeing a small cut, “what’s this?”

The tall boy had to blink a couple of times to remember. ”Got a little trouble getting the hang of the gear. Nothing to worry about— or are you my cute nurse?” The blond tried to play it off— to try and have an embarrassing reaction out of [Name]. He expected the boy to yell at him or embarrass him— but what he got made him feel shy.

[Name] took his hand and kissed the small cut with his soft lips— as they were besides a window, the rays of the sun hit his gentle face, his hair... he seemed like a divinity— with those exotic eyes only Reiner could see with that spark, along with that kind smile; an expression so gentle Reiner thought [Name] never wore before.

”My mom told me kisses were a great medicine. Hope it works.” He rubs his hand gently, before letting go.

The taller teenager coughs, trying to hide his blush behind his hand. His eyes traveled around the barracks, being sure there were no prying eyes in their situation. “Well, well, I don’t have to worry anymore about my mistakes, then. I know where to go when I get injured.”

[Name] tilts his head. ”Did it work?”

”Of course it did— see? It seems to fade away.”

”[Name]!!!” Eren’s loud voice is heard coming near, but seeing the close proximity of the two stops with a suspicious glare, “ah? What’s up?”

”Reiner was helping me with my shirt— I’m too sleepy.” [Name] spoke with a big yawn, blinking lazily at his childhood friend.

The brunette frowns, not pleased by that answer. ”If you needed help why didn’t you tell me?!”

”I don’t know where you were. Reiner was nearer.” [Name] glared at Eren, who shut up seeing his harsh gaze. The blond clearly noticed the dominance, pretty surprised [Name] could have such effect on Eren. Reiner smirked.

”What’s this? Are you two together or something? Eren, you look like the clingy boyfriend in the relationship."

[Name] blinks, unsure of what he means. ”Together...?”

”Ah?! What’s with that?!” Eren blushed, clinching his fist, "that's none of your business, Reiner!"

"What? Man, I hoped after I helped you I would be given at least a little of gratitude."

"What if we are, uh?! Is that a problem!!!"

"Wow there, I didn't expect you to actually saying something like that," the blond laughs amused, “well, I can't say [Name] isn't cute, because he is." He plays with [Name]'s messy hair with a smirk, the other just watching the two with a confused stare.

"Hey! What are you getting at!?" The brunette frowns with the action— he didn't know why, but just seeing Reiner touching [Name] so carelessly touched a nerve.

[Name] dozed off, trying not to hear their voices anymore. The only thing he wants is to sleep— he doesn’t want to do anything else. Just thinking about another practice makes him whine. He misses his days with his mom.

Slowly and without the notice of the two, [Name] closed his eyes, still sitting on the bed awkwardly. His slow breathing and tiredness allows him to fall asleep so quickly, and it’s a miracle he sits still on the bed without falling.

”Come on– tell me! Has anybody ever kissed him?”

”Of course not!! Right, [Name]?!” Eren turns to get an answer, but his frown changes into confusion as he sees [Name]’s state. “[Name]?”

The blond catches his state too, noticing his sleeping state, “well, somebody will have to kiss the prince out of his curse.”

Eren glared at Reiner.

 ___________________

 ”I can fucking believe this— no way. Fuck Eren AND Reiner?! Really?!”

”Uh... Are you alright?” The freckled boy chuckles nervously, seeing his friend’s anger showing. "You seem... pretty angry...?"

Surprisingly, [Name] training hand in hand combat was much easier since the beginning. As his first practice with the ODM was a failure, plenty of his friends thought he wasn't that qualified at first. But Armin, Eren, Mikasa and Jean knew otherwise.

Unfortunately the way his new friends knew about it was with a good beating Reiner received.

"I'm going to be easy on you, [Name]. Does it sounds good?” Reiner smirked, passing the wooden knife to his hands. Seeing [Name]’s attitude and how lazy he was today, he decided to not be too harsh on him.

[Name] couldn’t care less about his kindness. He already liked this training — even if it didn’t even counted for their ranking, it wasn’t much trouble. Reiner could be bigger, but that didn’t matter. "If you are that considerate.”

When it came to fight, [Name] didn't even think how, he just did it. It was as if his body was being controlled by someone else— he just let his thought at ease and go with the flow. It was weird, but the boy often thought that was his older self waking up, if that made sense.

  Ṱ̴̨̱̙͖̠͖͙̣̲̫͂ͅXi̵̢̨̘͈̦͇͎͔͕̤̦͐̆͊ͅ!ş̴̖̰̩̯͋͛̓̀̂͌̑̂͒̇̕ ̷̛̮͓̙̹̪̮͎̈̋̆̐̿͑x$ë̵̢͎̻̞̬̣͔́̍̐̏͗͌͗̒̚͠͝ͅ ̶̡̟̺̍͐̊̈́̍̋̚ͅd̵͇̾͂͆͆́̔͊̏͋̉̌̒̚̕ę̵̛̰̲̣̋̍̽̔͆̽̋̑̆͌͘̕ͅs̶̥͈̈͑̇̐̔̓̚ẽ̷͚̄̋͊̌̊̅͝ͅr̵̳̙͔̳̅̏̓͒v̶̛̜̈e̵̳̹͍̽̄̒̈͌͌̓̋͑̄̃̔͆͊̀ş̶͔̤̹̬̽͋̾̒̂̇͑̈́ ̷͚̤͔̲͔̞͇͙̖̼̈̈̓ä̸̠̳̯́̆̈̊̓̏͒̔̈́̀́͗̉͝ ̸̧͙͍̫̖͍̖̖̟̖̺̰̞͕̅͂̌͐̋̾̇͐̃̽b̵̧̭͚̬̗͈̲͖̤͈̤͙̪͕̈́̔͊̑̀͝͠ͅe̴̞̫̫̾̍̐̊̈́͒̉̔̎̌͜͜͠͝ä̶̧̡̨͚͙͇̖̤̝͎̖̼̝͑͌͆̉̄͗͌ţ̵̢̛̣̣̗͉̜̤̦̼̼̯͌̆͐̃͋͐̽̃̄͂̈́̕̕͝ỉ̷̡̢̛͈͖̝̻͍͖̦͂̋̉̈́̆̿̄̚ṋ̶̺̤̮̬̫͔͖̏̽̃g̵̡̟̦͍̯̳̺͓͋̆̇̽̈́͠.̸̲̝̻̞̻̤̯̆̈́͂̈̔̀͒̍̆̈́͝ ̸̢̧̭̬̙̜̫̭͈̂̏̈͗̑͛̋̓̌͐̋̒͝L̷̡͖͗̓̇͐͊̓́̂͑͒̅̚̕͝e̴̺̻̮̞͐̇̈́̋̃̽͝t̸̨̥̩͚̟̊̑ ̷̡͕̰͉͎͎̝̠̹̳͕͇̓̎͊̏͠ͅḿ̸̢̲̫̺̙̀͑̑̔͆͐̿͋̃̋̂̈́̃̍ȩ̵̩͕̺̗̲̤̯͖̖̗̼͎̹̈̎ ̴͈̼͕̻̝͚͌͆̿̍̉͗̓͘͝ḧ̷͎̖͙̝́̅̃͗̓̂͜a̴̡̡̨͖̬̱̝̟̓́̌͐͛͛͝n̷̟̪̩͖̊̃d̸̡̡̻̘͎̰͍͈͌́̓̇̿̓̆̾̄̓̅͒̕ļ̷̨͙͇̮̩̮̆ͅę̸̧̡̰̟̭̺̙͙̹̞͚͉̈́̐́̚ͅ ̶̛͓̽̌̉̒̂̎̾͌̏̿̈͝i̵̡̫̳̭̟͚̰̖͔͠t̸̻͚̣̺͍̗̻͈̣̳͓̬̍̈͌̈́̈́̑̌̃̑͆̋͆́͝.̵̹͍̻̳̝͚̱͗̀̊̎̓̿͗͠

 The blond charged forward, trying to fake stabbing [Name] in the stomach without much plan. [Name] immediately hugged the arm with the knife, turning his back on Reiner and without much trouble throwing the blond’s body on the ground harshly. He took Reiner’s arm and placed his boot on his back, and just pulling a little he could hear the blond’s whimpers and defeat statements.

”Okay, okay! That’s what I get for being considerate?!”

”Yes,” he let go off his arm, helping him stand and dusting him off. “What if you take this more seriously from now?”

Reiner, who carefully looked at [Name], realized he did know about how to fight. Stretching, he smirked, feeling confident. “Alright then, I  guess I stop playing nice. But don’t cry and yell about getting a chance, uh?”

”I can say the same for you.” [Name] smirked.

Every time Reiner tried to attack [Name], it was a failure. The amnesiac never received damage— in fact, he noticed he reflected it, if that made sense. For example, Reiner tried to throw a punch, but [Name] always was a step ahead of him— he denied the hit by changing it’s direction with his wrist or his fist, not receiving the damage but evading it. It was the first time Reiner saw a technique like that.

Unfortunately for him, he got his ass kicked every round. [Name] didn’t seem to forget their promise about not giving chances, and even Reiner could say the lazy cadet was enjoying his defeat. [Name] didn’t even seemed to be tired after the many rounds they had, but maybe it was because Reiner was the one always getting his ass kicked.

 ______________

Armin watched in amazement, forgetting his own practice with Bertolt, "that's different when we were kids..."

The taller blinked, his eyes catching Reiner’s practice. The blond was face-planted on the ground, trying to get free from [Name]’s hold. "Uh? How so?"

The petite looks intently, choosing his words. "[Name] was... much harder before. But I guess that was because we were children and didn't know better," it was true— or maybe it was  because the victims of his attacks where Armin’s bullies, and [Name] hated them a lot, "even so, he doesn't look too much aggressive now."

"Harder...?" The taller can see [Name] is not holding back— or maybe Reiner is exaggerating? Nevertheless, [Name]’s technique looks clean and very defensive-like.

"Ah. He broke one's kid nose one time. Oh! and also, he made throw up another kid too and made him eat it.” Armin answered without trouble, not caring that much about how horrible that must have sounded.

Beetolt’s eyes widened, a little horrified by the brutality. [Name] didn’t look... as harsh as that. His past thoughts about imagining him as a kitten was now gone. He couldn’t properly imagine him in a scenario like that, but with Reiner easily being handled to the ground made him think it was possible. "Just... how much force did he have...?"

"A lot,” Armin chuckles a little, “Eren fought with him a lot and well... he can tell you how much it hurt, hehe..."

  ____________________

"W-Wait, [Name]! I surrender! I SURRENDER!"

"But this was just the beginning..." [Name] says with a pout, twisting Reiner's arm, "does it hurt?"

"Of course it does! I didn't think you would have this much force!”

"A kiss can make it better, if you want." He hugs the arm, rubbing his face on it while looking at Reiner with a twisted stare and a sick smile. The blonde can help but to gulp and blush by such hard look— he almost looked at him with playfulness. His eyes were so much different— Reiner felt he was looking at someone else. Now that he noticed, [Name]'s eyes had changed into a different color— but just as he was carefully looking at them [Name] blinked, as if he was waking from a daze. "Ah, sorry, Reiner," he lets go of the blond's arm, helping him stand with a much different manner.

”Did I hurt you?” [Name] asks, frowning as he passed a hand over his temples.

The blond blinks, trying to connect the dots of the unusual behavior. This was just like yesterday in the forest— that weird glint in his eyes... as if he wasn't [Name] no more. ”Uh, no, it’s fine.”

”Should I kiss it?”

Reiner laughs, trying to have fun, “now that I think about it... I think I got a bruise right here...” he points his cheek, and [Name] can see a scratch. Unbothered, [Name] pecks it, standing on his tiptoes. Reiner smirks, catching the glare both Jean and Eren gave in the distance.

The blond sees Annie passing with a bored look on her face trough the training grounds. [Name] waves at her with a ‘hi Annie’.

Reiner got an idea. “Annie! Good to see you again doing absolutely nothing!”

”Hmn? I see you want another round, Reiner.” Annie spoke with her cold voice, glaring at the taller as she got nearer.

”Not me! I heard [Name] saying he wanted to try you!” He places his hand on [Name]’s shoulders, making him closer to the girl as he hides behind him.

”...?” [Name] looks at him in confusion, knowing very well he didn’t say anything related to that.

”is that so?” The cold girl didn’t even waited for a confirmation— she just went straight to business. She had shifted in her fight stance.

Well, this didn’t sound so bad. [Name] blinked, hearing Reiner saying good luck as he left his side.

  F̸̛͔̰̕i̶̲͔̩̥͔̫̭̗̯̼̓́̒̿̓̊̿͗͘n̶̝̪̯̳̮̼̿̀̒͑̂̔̕͜ͅa̷̫͒́͑̌̈͘̕͝l̷̤̽̉̈́͗̽̄̔̍͘l̸̛͈̍̎͆̽̏͊̎̓̚͘͠y̸̢̼͙̜̠̬̘̘̟̲̮̫̟͍̏̇͋̔͂̀͐̏͆͒̐̊͐͝ ̶̛̳͓̩̱͒͊̉̊̉̿̾͆̾̍̌͝s̴̺̳̻͍̮͈̈́͘͜ȯ̷̧̠̹̝̩͍̹́m̵̢̯̱͍̬̰̘͕̝̆̽̾̓͑̔̕͝ě̶̖͔̘̙̙̾͐̕͜͝o̸̢͉̾̈̅̌̈́́́͋̏̓̿̂̂͗͠n̵̡̡̙̪͇̲͕̙̖̩̯͓̳̘̬̈̍̑̂e̷̡̛̼̹͚̼͕͉̪͆͂̊͊̆̈́̇̈̓̾̌͋̐̕ ̸̢͚̤͙̳͈̌̃̓̍̈́̏̀̏̀̎̋͗͜͝ͅc̶̢̺͚͚̗͔̤̓͂̾͊̒̀̈̐́å̴̡̢̲̫̥͙͕͎̫̯̬̰̱͚͛̊̊̎̔̃̔p̸̛̣̝͉̞̤̙̫̪͔̺͖̤̳̭̔͐̿̓͌͐̐̾̍̃̚ͅá̷̝͎̻̄b̸̛͉͉̼͖̰͊̚ḷ̵̨̮̹̝̈̑͑͗͐̑̚ě̶̡̨̨̙͍͉͇͎͚̞̗̹̀̅̋͂͊͜.̵̡̦͚̠͖́͋̊̇͛́̏͊͜

 [Name] shifted in his own, carefully looking at her. It somehow was clear to him she went all way in— her stance gave it away.

How come I know that?

The blonde girl moved first, lifting her leg to kick him. [Name] backed away quickly, missing the attack by inches. He doesn’t have to wait for the upcoming move— Annie throws a punch, [Name] deflects it with his wrist, switching the hit’s target. Seeing the opportunity, she quickly takes his elbow and harshly pushes the side of his face. [Name] knows her next move, and as just as he’s falling by the kick, he supports himself with his arm and gives a kick at the side of her ankles, making her almost trip. That’s enough time to allow him stand up again.

Annie returned to her stance, and just as in the beginning, tried to kick him— but this time [Name] saw it as an opening. This time he didn’t need to back off— he lowered his body just under her leg just in time, at the same time he threw a kick at the side of her knee. The attack had forced her to fall, by the surprise of everyone and her’s included. 

Watching her first was a good choice. That kick had to be timed right seeing Annie’s speed— one second less and his head would have been in a much worse state. [Name] couldn't explain his own reflexes and instincts guiding him— but it paid off nevertheless.

Something changed. Annie thoughts.

[Name]? throws the forgotten knife, stabbing it at the side of her head in the ground. There’s a cryptic glint on [Name]’s? eyes, along with a playful smile. He speaks in a different tone, clearly enjoying his victory. “You are dead.”

Annie gets up with a glare specially for him. Taking the knife, the cold girl tries to get her arms around his neck to make him fall, but [Name]? gets his arms under her to push her, effectively throwing her back. She doesn’t fall, but gets more aggressive in her attempts. She gives another quick kick, but [Name]? ducks and throws another kick against her leg, making her fall much harder onto the ground this time. He has a grin on his face, “twice.”

It’s clear Annie is irritated about his playful behavior— why is he smiling like that? Nevertheless about it, the blonde can actually say this was a nice fight for once. 

She sees how [Name] places a hand on his temples, rubbing them with his eyes tightly shut. Annie carefully looks at him as she stands up, dusting herself off. The amnesiac slowly opens his eyes, looking at her with much different eyes.

”Hope we can do it another time,” His voice is different, she notices. Narrowing her cold eyes, she can tell something is different about him— the near description she could tell was as if he became someone else entirely.

 She looks at [Name] then at Reiner, who was looking at the whole fight with careful eyes. She changes her gaze at [Name] again, shrugging her shoulders, “sure.”

Before she could leave tough, Annie turns to Reiner, ”Now, Reiner, I heard [Name] say you wanted another round.”

The blond instantly freezes in fright, not wanting to relieve that defeat. ”What?! That’s a lie!”

”[Name] doesn’t tell lies.”

Reiner was once again getting his ass kicked. [Name] couldn’t hold his laughter by seeing such absurd posture.

 ”What the hell is everyone doing?! Get back to training!” The instructor shouted, “change partners now that you are at it!”

 Neither of [Name] nor Jean took attention when they exchanged partners— just as they saw each other was when things got awkward.

”Hi, Jean,” [Name] was unsure on how to approach— he wasn’t good at fixing things. Even worse when he didn’t know what he  did wrong.

”...Hey,” Jean responded with a sigh, playing with the wooden knife. His face showed everything he was feeling— it was awkward, even more with the silence behind them.

Neither did anything else but evade seeing each other, but the amnesiac boy didn't want things to go like this. If he didn't know what he did wrong, then the only thing he could do was ask. Jean was angry for something he did— he realized that.

With a soft and curious tone, [name] looking at Jean a little timid, "did I do something wrong yesterday?"

He noticed Jean tightened his grip on the knife. Sighed exasperatedly, Jean still didn't look at him as he would wanted, but at least [name] got a motive of his anger. ”You can’t just... kiss everybody like nothing happens!”

So that was the problem? [Name]'s shyness went away when hearing such... motive. In fact, he was a little irritated by the reason. ”Why not?”

”Because—“ because what? It was wrong viewed? People would call him names? Would they think something else? Why was it wrong? He knew [Name] and him didn't had the same thoughts or opinions of things, but [name] should know kissing everybody wasn't something he should be doing. “Because a kiss means a lot to people— you can’t kiss everybody as a ‘friend’— that's not how it works.”

[Name] tilts his head. ”How come a kiss has one meaning?”

”Don’t get philosophical with me,” Jean said with a frown, “if you keep kissing everyone in public people will look at you being a weirdo, so don’t.”

”A weirdo...? But neither Reiner nor Eren tell me it’s weird...” He places his finger on his lips, wondering.

Sighing exasperated, Jean’s left eye twitched in annoyance by such statement, “because they are some dumbasses that—“ he stops himself there, “—they are weirdos, specially Eren.”

”How come?”

”He just is!”

“But Jean, no one has told me they don't like it. What do you mean?”

”That’s why I’m telling you before they do!” he rubs his temples, "they could be thinking for more, jeez!"

”Me kissing you makes you angry...?” [Name] unconsciously touched his lips, a frown showing.

Jean's confidence flatters, getting taken aback from the question. ”Yes— No— I mean—!” He sighed, “I don’t hate them. I...” he looks at the side,  blushing, “like them, okay?!” It's not that he hated them— he secretly loved them, but it was a thought nobody would know about. He could have [name] know, but since he didn't feel the same thing Jean felt for him, that was out of the question.

”Then why do you punch me away?”

“I told you– the others can see and look at us weird!”

”Do you care that much about what others think...?” [Name] wondered. He didn’t think about others opinions about him or what he did— he just... did everything he wanted without much thought. Was it wrong? Nothing had happened to him so far...

“It’s not that— ugh...” he sighs, “you are too careless. I’m telling you this right now: not everyone deserves to be kissed. You don’t know who is a weirdo. Imagine if someone took advantage of you by asking for more!"

”Advantage...”

”Exactly. You don’t know when somebody will ask you more than a kiss, and I cannot let that happen.”

“Is asking for more that bad?”

Jean blushed a little. Did [Name] really know nothing about this topic? Was he this clueless? Beatrice had to explain at least something about this— the woman should’ve, right? He was a teenager, for godsake! And teenagers are always thinking about the same stuff at least once in their short lives! Didn’t [Name] ever think about that type of stuff...?

"[Name], you know... when we talked about that..!"

"Oh, that. That when you talk about it your face goes red. That kind of conversation, that," [name] tilted his head, "...I don't think much about it."

"O-Okay! How else I should react anyways?! Ugh—! Just-- you know what to do when you don't want to do something like that, do you? If you mistake other's people purpose—!"

"I know. I punch them in the face-- but I only kiss people I like, Jean. Like you," he stared in gentleness at Jean, who only blurred words came out of his mouth, red creeping his face by the sudden declarations. But before he could answer, Shadis approached menacingly, shouting at them with a dead glare.”What the hell are you two doing?! You are standing there like idiots! Get back into training before I make you clean the entire place!”

”Y—Yes sir!”

_____________

Eren didn’t look pleased when he told him he was going to sit with Jean and Marco. The brunette gave away his displeasure with a frown, speaking with an irritated tone to him. To not make things worse, Armin, as being the sweetheart he was, smiled at him and told him to not worry about it that much. Just for that he won a kiss on the nose, making Eren yell why he didn’t receive one.

Already at Jean’s table, everything was going smoothly. But, for some strange reason, Jean spoke so loudly out of nowhere— It was an evident change to [Name]’s ears, making the boy narrow his eyes at him in suspicion.

”By manipulating your inertia like that, you’ll be able to spend less gas than usual,” he bragged to Marco, moving his hands while he talked.

”You make it sound easy...”

”Well, I don’t think that’s something everyone can do, you know?” [Name] notices Jean glances at Eren’s table, and it’s then that the boy can understand Jean’s purpose, “tough there’s nothing to lose if you keep that in mind. Especially if you want to enlist to the Military Police.”

Marco smiles dreamily, “it would be nice if I could... There’s no greater honor than to be able to work under the king, don’t you think so, [Name]?”

To [Name], the king was a faceless man he couldn’t care less about— unfortunately, Beatrice had told him to mind his mouth when talking about the powerful man around other people. The amnesiac boy couldn’t understand Marco’s dream to work under such a man who tried to cage all of them for eternity, but what he could understand from his books about royalty novels was that working and protecting a good king who cared about his people was a great honor. And this king had none.

”Not really.” He answered quietly, taking a sip from his drink.

”Don’t lie and say what you really think, Marco,” Jean said, carelessly pushing Marco’s cup against him, making it spill on Marco’s face and shirt, “you just want to enlist so you can live an easy and powerful life inside the inner walls.” He smiled devilish at him, and [Name] couldn’t stop thinking how crazy he could look sometimes.

”T-That’s not true! I—“ before Marco could finish, Eren’s voice interrupted Jean’s little show.

”It’s pleasant within the inner walls? Five years ago, this was also part of the inner area.”

While the two discussed whatever monologue they had in mind, the [hair color] haired turned to his freckled friend. “Be careful where you point at,” [Name] spoke to Jean in an angry tone, gently grabbing Marco’s chin as he cleaned his face with a napkin. The act made the freckled boy blush, “you got some on your clothes...”

”U–Uhm! Thank you, [Name]!” Marco stuttered, not expecting such caring action. Such caring made him felt warm in his chest, and gulped a little seeing how close [Name] was from his face. Were his eyes this pretty...? Marco! What are you thinking!

For some reason [Name] didn’t think much about what he did— he left a peck on Marco’s nose without care, “I saw the cup hit you pretty hard. Your nose is red.”

The freckled boy immediately covered his nose, clearly embarrassed by the unusual action, “I–It’s better now! Thank you!”

As the two smiled at each other, Eren’s yell took their attention from each other to him. The two had already stood up for a fight, evident by their angry expressions and hostile actions towards each other.

”You piece of garbage!”

”Just face reality!”

Both of them took each others’ shirt, and [Name] couldn’t stop himself to look disappointed at such behavior— he thought Eren grew up from such anger, but it did seem little had changed. Did we look that foolish back then? They certainly look like that...

For some reason Eren glanced his way, noticing such discouraging eyes staring at him in disappointment. That made his stomach revolt uncomfortably, not liking one a bit seeing that towards him.  He had to show [Name] he wasn’t the same brat as before— he was much matured since then. The brunette exhaled, trying to cool off as he let go of Jean’s shirt.

Of course, Jean noticed where his eyes wandered to— and he couldn’t feel more furious than before. What? Was he trying to show off he could control himself for [Name]? Fuck that. He was even more annoyed when he noticed [Name] blinking in surprise by such ‘control’, looking relieved. Jean didn’t fall for such act.

Taking Eren’s shirt even more harshly, he yelled at him, “don’t screw with me, you bastard!”

”Ah?! Hey, let go! You’ll tear my shirt, you dumbass!”

”Who gives a damn about your clothes! I’m so jealous!”

”What the hell are you talking about?!” It seemed Eren wanted to keep yelling at him, but he stopped himself from doing so. Instead, he quickly placed a hand on Jean’s face, took his fore arm and kicked the back of his legs.

[Name] frowned as he saw Jean fall onto the hard ground, but thankfully he didn’t seem to hurt his head that bad. Nevertheless, he wanted to make sure he was okay, but he wanted to give them the space of whatever they were doing. Eren seemed to make a point of his surprise attack, and so the amnesiac just observed in worry as he stood quickly.

He saw Jean sit, rubbing the back of his head. As he yelled for an explanation of such action, surely receiving a response from Eren.

[Name] was preoccupied of Jean’s state, but as Marco could see his worry he tried to calm him down with taking his hand, “[Name], I’m sure Jean is alright— it did seem like a bad fall, but I don’t think it’s too serious.” He smiled.

”It did sound pretty loud...” he frowned, squeezing Marco’s hand as he saw his friend. The freckled boy blushed a little by the action, smiling nervously at himself. “They are both idiots, uh?”

As [Name] wanted to see any damage, Marco yanked him to his seat, bumping into him a little as everyone saw the door open just a crack to see the scary face of Shadis looking at them with anger? It was hard to say, but it looked like a demon was staring at them in the depths of the dark.

”I heard a loud noise now. Care to explain what it was?” He spoke with a deep voice, staring deadly at everyone. Of course, nobody answered until Mikasa broke the silence,

“Sasha farted, sir.”

”UH?!” The unlucky girl widened her eyes in confusion and embarrassment.

”So it was you again,” the instructor covered his nose, “learn some modesty,” he spoke before leaving.

[name] couldn’t stop a chuckle from coming out. It was pretty quiet and soft— in fact, Marco was the only one who noticed it. His face reddened, staring at [Name] with timid eyes. It was the first time he had laughed like this, after all. [Name] was a serene individual, so any other reaction than his serious stare was well welcomed.

Marco didn’t notice he had his arm around [Name]’s waist, but it was when his friend wanted to move when he returned to reality. Feeling embarrassed even more, the freckled boy apologized many times and quickly moved his arm.

[name] blinked, not sure what was happening. Thankfully, Jean was returning to their table with annoyance plastered all over his face. [Name] stood up, now it was a good time to ask him how he was, “Where did you get hurt?”

”It’s nothing. That jackass all there trying to look cool, damn...” he rubbed the back of his head, “fucking embarrassing...”

The amnesiac boy could see his irritation— he could understand it. Being throw like that in front of everyone was upsetting, but Jean got out of control for some strange reason. Sighing, [Name] stood on his tip toes and kissed Jean’s head with caring, “that was a bad fall.”

The action only made Jean more embarrassed than he already was. ”Hnshsksjs! What did I told you about giving kisses like this?!” Jean whispered harshly, looking everywhere to see the smirks and mocking faces some did as they saw the curious interaction.  He blushed in embarrassment, “Goddammit [Name]—!”

Blinking, the amnesiac tilted his head and pouted, taking some steps backwards. ”Sorry, I forgot. Are you mad?”

Jean saw the wory fave [Name] was making, instantly changing his own anger to a simple frown. Was he being too harsh? The leqst he wanted to was to put distance between their friendship. He sighed exasperated, “no, I’m not. I’m not mad, okay?! So stop looking at me like that.” He rubbed his face, “anyways, are you sleeping with that suicidal maniac or what?”

”Suicidal...? Eren?” He blinks, amused by such nickname, “I don’t think so. Why?”

”B—Because—“ because I want to. He wanted to say, but no words came out. Jean gritted his teeth, rubbing his neck in shyness. Why he couldn’t ask him like a normal question?

Oh, of course. Because he was asking the person he likes— not just an ordinary person.

Fortunately [Name] understood the silence. “Do you want me to be with you?” He whispered gently, aware of Jean’s embarrassment towards his actions.

The taller didn’t see [Name] straight in the eye. His eyes stare at the wall, while he nodded slowly, flustered. If Eren was all mighty sleeping with him, then why the hell he couldn’t? I have the same RIGHT!!! 

“Then can we go now? I’m pretty tired,” [Name] yawned, passing a hand trough his face. Today was a good day— but it was still tiring. He just wanted to get to bed and sleep all day. “In fact, I’m leaving whether you want or not.” He stated, already walking away.

”W—Wait! You can bump into doors if you walk with your eyes closed!!” Marco yelled worriedly, already knowing [Name]’s sleepy behavior by now. 

“You are such a dummy,” Jean says, walking calmly while Marco hurries to help [Name].

“I can tell your fights with Eren will be for long.” [Name] places his arm under the side of his face, blinking lazily at Jean. The two boys laid on Jean's bed, looking at each other as they talked. The lights were already turned off, but many others still talked under the darkness. 

Jean grits his teeth. “It’s not my fault he’s such an idiot trying to act all brave and shit. He just tries so badly to be seen as cool, the fucking maniac.”

[Name] blinks. “Fucking.”

Jean blinks, a mixture of surprise and embarrassment by hearing his friend cursing, ”...why did you say it?”

”You said it. Fucking. Fuck. Shit. Cu—“

Hastily covering his mouth with his hand, Jean sighs exasperated, “don’t say all of them, geez! What are you trying to say?!”

[Name] chuckles, “you have a bad mouth. These words are not on many books I’ve read— oh, I forgot suck my co—“

He covers it again with more force this time, “shut the hell up!” Jean whispers angrily, “you are such an idiot when you want to!”

[Name] takes Jean’s hand, placing it on their dad as he interlaced their fingers. “Just showing you how childish you look.”

”I don’t care. I bet he was the one making you believe on that crazy dream he has.” In fact, hearing Eren’s ideals and dreams did made him realize he was the one at fault to make [Name] join the Survey Corps. There wasn’t anything else, since both of them had been together for quite some time. No wonder that blond boy and the pretty girl wanted to join with him. “Fucking hell. Doesn’t he know other people will believe his bullshit?”

”It’s not bullshit,” [Name] speaks, “if he dreams about it, it’s not impossible. You dream to join the Military Police, even when we are more than 100 soldiers here.”

”That’s different— I want to be in top ten, not to eliminate all titans. That will never happen— if that hasn’t happen before, after 100 years, what will he change when he graduates? Fucking nothing.” Jean couldn't believe [Name] actually had faith in such a fever dream— exterminate all titans? If the Survey Corps have been active for years and hadn't got a single clue of what titans were and where they came from, how would someone like Eren do the job? It was impossible.

[Name] sighs, not happy to hear such pessimism. He believed in Eren— things could be changed. He... just did. 

  I͛̄́ͣ͆ͨͫ͏̬̜͇!̱̪̯͖͚̒͒̆̔͊̎ͩ̚͘͠ ̮͍̹̪̻̝̤ͫͨͪ̓0̨̊̓ͬ̄̆ͨ҉͖̞̱̼̭͉̘ͅͅn̎ͩ͐ͣ̋҉̪͖̲͖̕x͋̌̑ͧ͢͏̳͕̘̣̰̠̞x͊ͧ͊҉̹͍̱ͅͅỹ̺̮̮̜͈͈̎̍ ͎̰͇̲̺ͧ͛̍̕͝/̺̩̻͍͕͗͛̊͑̂̍͟ö̡̠̭̻̪ͤ̆ͬͮ͐̏̓ͅu̜͇̻͖͕̹̦̤̽̊̉ͫ͞ ̩̊ͧ̓̾ͬ̄̅̚͞k̷̟̝̙̗͖͓̯ͫ͆͠n̨̮̞̪̗̣͒̿̃͘͡#̡̻̯̦̩̤̪̙͓̑ͪ͊!̦̖͚̖̖͖͙̹̱̽ͯ͛̕͢͝x̝̹̥̹̤̣̝̋̂̑̿͐ͪ̌ ̦͖̟̣̤͐͑̑̽̅̒ͤ̈̕x̮̱̣̞̳̖̟͆͂ͬ̊ͩͨ̅ͭx̸̺͈̩̲͇̞ͨ̄̓́͆̅̚͡x̶̫̜̘̥͇̱͕̘ͭͥ͂͊̌͊ͅx͔̲̽͋̓ͤ̿̽͊͟͡ ͔̬̲͚̉ͯ̃͗w̧̟̪͌ͮ͒͠͞i̸͓̰ͬ̔̾̐ͫ̀́͑l̵̲̗̘̯͙͈̀͒̽̈́͐̑ͭͮ͞ͅl̬͍̈́͌ͫ̆̏͝ ̦̳̥̼̹̹̎̄͌͢h̿̊̐̒͏̫̼͎͇͍ͅ!̩̼͙̮͙̠̹͒̔̐ͦ̅#̨̦̙̞̞̞̖̞ͪͤ̾ͧͫ̾ͭ̑p͍̞̼͈̖͎ͩ̿̉̃͂͜$̩ͧ͟͠x͇̜̫ͮ̔̇͝ņͥ҉͇̝̲̼̬̟͈ͅ.̭̱̔͗ͧ͟͠

 “And you joining after him... what the hell are you thinking?” Jean spoke more to himself than to [Name], frowning. Even after knowing for some time he would join the Survey Corps, Jean still couldn't grasp that absurd idea.

[Name] leaves a kiss on Jean’s cheek, staring at him when he breaks it, “you don’t have to worry that much.”

”Easy for you to say,” he sighs, “aren’t you... upset?”

He blinks. ”For what?”

”Thinking about when we graduate. I feel I’m the one only suffering here, you heartless dummy.” Jean grits his teeth.

He did felt sadness— not being with his friends anymore made him felt... a little scared. “...I get upset.”

Jean bits his lip, averting his gaze, looking like a pouting child. ”Doesn’t look like it.”

[Name] places his arms around Jean, while the taller guy instantly wraps his arms around [Name]’s form. The amnesiac boy rests his head on Jean’s chest, smelling him and hearing his heartbeat. Jean blushes, biting his lower lip. Secretly smelling [Name]’s hair, the boy closes his eyes while enjoying the sweet scent, calming himself a little.

“I get sad thinking about how we won’t see each other again after that. I care a lot about you, Jean. Times like these are to be treasured while we can, don't you think?"

Jean blushes, narrowing his eyes in sadness. He didn’t want to let go ever— he wanted this night to be forever. Why was [Name] this stubborn? Why he couldn’t go with him inside the walls? With him? He understood his reason to go to the Survey Corps, but he had to understand nothing good would come out of it. He should be to the Military Police with him.

”There’s still time to change your mind.”

”I can say the same to you.”

Jean sighs, “why are you this stubborn?”

[Name] can sense Jean is upset. He moves his head to look at Jean, who only stares at him curiously. The amnesiac boy closes the gate between them, placing a soft kiss on Jean’s lips. The taller boy really didn’t expect such action, as [Name] felt his grip around him tightening, hugging him closer as he reciprocate the gentle kiss. He didn’t want to finish it, but eventually they did. 

While Jean’s face was as red as a tomato, [Name]’s remained the same, but a small tint of red decorated his face. 

WhatthehellWhatthehellWhatthehellWhatthehell—

”Everything will turn out alright,” he spoke with a small smile, “let’s make a promise.”

[Name] showed his pinky, “no matter what happens, we will see each other."

Jean doesn't want to do that promise— if he does, then [Name] going somewhere he can't follow will become real. He doesn't want to. But then seeing that smile just for him... [Name] always kept his promises— they were serious stuff to him, specially pinky promises for some reason.

"If you do a pinky promise and you broke it, you had to swallow 1000 needles. I read that in a book!"

[Name] still had so much to learn, but everything he read he believed it. He could be such an idiot sometimes... Jean didn't want to stop seeing that smile, hearing whatever he wanted to explain to him about what he learned. Was that fate? Everyone going to their own paths was inevitable since the beginning, and Jean was fooled to believe he could change [Name]'s mind and go with him.

Reluctantly, Jean made the promise. Locking his pinky with [Name]'s, both of them confirming vowing. Jean knew that was such an embarrassing thing to do, but being under the darkness where everyone were in their own business made him able to do it. And also, if he didn't vow then the promise wouldn't be serious, and [Name] wouldn't like that one a bit.

Such a childish cute guy. And dumb.

[Name] smiled once more, hugging Jean closer. He murmured something Jean didn't hear, but he guessed he wanted to sleep finally. 

Jean hugs him closer, frowning. He grits his teeth, resting his cheek on [Name]’s head. What will I do when you are not there? What then?

when will you update your books in wp?

Once I finish a chapter, I immediately update my books on all sites!! Unfortunately, I’m unsure when will that happen..... _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

Just wanted to say I miss u and ur works. I also hope you’re doing better & wishing u the best of luck 💗💗

that felt nice to read (ᴗ_ ᴗ。) i do miss all of you, so i'm going to try and not disappear again. thank you v much and have a good day!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

Are you still working on your Attack On Titan stories? Or are they discontinued? Sorry if I’m bothering you I noticed that you’ve been posting a bit. I hope you have a nice day and take care of yourself!

hi, anon! im trying to work on reiss asylum for the moment... very slowly, but making some progress.

and don't worry! these asks are not a bother <3 thank you for reaching out and i wish i could be a more competent writer LOL. but writing hasn't come to me as it used to.

thank you and i hope you are doing well aswell!!

e m p t y / 15

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter fifteen

found

It was an unfortunate turn of events. Things didn’t mean nor were visualized to go like this, but hey, life was a box full of surprises— some pleasant, some bitter. Unluckily, [Name]’s future seemed bitter in every aspect, and that didn’t seem to change any time soon.

”Where the hell should I go...?” The lost boy spoke to himself, sitting on the grass. His foot hurt, his side hurt, his head hurt— walking was a small problem, but the pain was bearable. His jacket helped a lot to not receive any scratches nor cuts, but his face and hands said otherwise. Messy hair, blood pouring from his nose, bruises and nails bleeding... the poor boy was left a mess.

He didn’t know where to go exactly. Reiner was the one with the map, so he was the one calling the shots. [Name] had briefly seen the map, but he didn’t pay much attention to it.

Big mistake, you idiot.

”Well, at least I’m not dead,” he yawned, carefully rubbing his eye. He had stayed in total silence for many minutes to at least hear a voice, but the only sounds he heard were the birds signing and the squirrels talking to each other, “...I wonder what they are talking about...”

There was no voices he could follow— he was truly lost in the forest. A very, very dangerous situation to be in by yourself.

Well, it wasn't as if there was another way to lose that thing. Reiner could be slow, and getting a bite from it wasn't going to be pretty. [name] tried to imagine his friends were fine, since they ran another way, but his mind didn't help him but wonder about them.

Lying on the grass, the amnesiac stared at the sky with lazy eyes. His chest moved up and down slowly, feeling a bit dreamy. 

He remembered those times with Eren, as they both sleep on the woods along with Armin and Mikasa. It was pretty weird— a sleepover on the woods. The principal activity was hearing Armin read his books, but specially his book about the outside. His energetic yet soft tone of voice made them wonder about the impossible; about what wasn’t seen by anyone here. Not even the soldiers who fought for humanity’s freedom.

Talks about where they wanted to go, what they wanted to do. Tangled wishes made by wondering children, all thanks for an old book nobody know who created— an unknown author that disappeared from the planet, leaving a wish behind for someone to fulfill.

The amnesiac boy was sure his answer was out there, where normal people couldn’t touch. Where people inside the box could not wonder; where people who refused to explore more than what was allowed choose to ignore the reason of such taboo.

[Name] was decided to explore that world. 

But first, a nap didn’t sound that bad.

♛

You feel fear— someone is chasing you. Not just one person, but there's many sounds behind you. There's yelling; someone is barking orders. Multiple footsteps— soldiers.

In the dark streets lighten by lanterns, two people run down the street.

Your companion is terrified— why are you running? What's the danger? Why do you feel so scared? Where are you?

You were too slow. They caught up with the two of you. A shame. 

You are cornered just like an animal. Perhaps we always were.

”We have finally found you— a ███...” the one in command spoke with a tired grin, satisfaction running all around his body as he saw every inch of terror on your faces, “you all have been hiding like those ███, aren’t you? A shame most of you die because of that ███...”

”P—Please, let us go! We didn’t do anything!” You tried to plead, but you know it's all for nothing. They are savages, after all.

”That’s true,” the man looked as of he was thinking, “but you are all the same. You share that dirty blood— sorry, nothing personal. Just following the King’s orders, you know?” a harsh chuckle left his mouth, mockingly looking at the two victims.

”Why are you doing this to us?! Please, I beg you, leave us alone! We’ll do anything!”

The soldier's aim falters, his expression showing a frown. ”...Anything?” He softly asked, tilting his head as he looked down at the couple. The ones being chased nodded erratically, a look of desperation and relief plastered on their faces. “...Then run.”

”...What?”

”Run away from me. I’m giving you the chance,”

A soldier's confusion makes him speak out loud. ”Sir?”

”Did I allow you to talk, soldier?” He glared at the poor soldier who only shut his mouth in return. The sergeant looked again at the poor horrified pair, “you heard me. You can run for your lives, but don’t look back because I will kill you.”

The leader stares with an unknown look, but you don't hesitate. Already running with your partner while holding hands, you hope to get out of there— were they don't exist. Where you can live freely. Where there are no dreams shattered. Where there are no children fighting battles they don’t own.

The two of you almost make it out of there; your partner grips your hand. Hopelessly staring ahead, you almost smile.

Just before the pair sighed in relief, two shots echoed trough the silence of that night.

Footsteps approaching— the unmistakable sound of military boots stepping on the dirty ground.

The sergeant in charge stared at the two bodies laying on the floor uncomfortably. One pair of eyes remained closed, while the other widened as it looked at it's partner. They didn’t know what just happen— or perhaps they didn’t even realize. Maybe that was a gift.

An expression of complete disgust appeared on his face, utterly repulsed by such view, “such a waste of ammo,” looking behind, he immediately barked orders, “soldier ███ and soldier ███! Get these things and throw them away. You,” he pointed another soldier, “will clean this shit.”

With a last look, the captain whispered. ”You should have looked back, filthy ███.”

。。。。。。。。。。。。。

“This ███.. are you sure he can have it?”

”Do you have another child around? This kid is the only one left— Keno’s child fell into illness, and we all know she’s not going to make it.”

”But... he’s going to be so alone...”

”We have no choice. All of us are going to ███ eventually. Hopefully he can find his way back...” the man sighs, “if he’s lucky, he can find us. But... I don’t have much hope.”

”Oh, my poor child... please, find your way home...” someone kiss your temples with gentleness, “I will pray for your safety.”

”Praying will solve nothing. What good have that brought us?”

。。。。。。。。。。

In front of you is the sea.

You are not alone— there’s a woman besides you, but the ocean waves are the single thing you can hear until she speaks in a gentle tone. You know that voice, but you don't know who belongs to.

”You know, little boy, there are many things you will discover trough your life. You have to live it fully until you can— people like us can’t live longer than what we like to.”

”Why?” You hear yourself asking— a younger voice of a little boy.

”Because we are the ███ . Easy as that.”

”But mom wasn’t like them...”

”And perhaps you could live longer. Who knows? What we need to know is that you will walk forward until the end, with your head high and with no remorse. You are strong— make your future and travel trough these waves. The world is much more than a simple caged island full of fools.”

She gazes at the sea, a grim expression shown on her face. “But a peaceful future is not what we can get. That boy... it has been said he would only bring misfortune. The elders said your only goal is to ███ him,” she frowns, “that’s something I don’t want you to be. Why do we have to be in that position..?”

”███? I don’t get it...”

”Well, it’s not as if we aren’t named the cursed, after all...” she sighs, “you will understand soon enough. Our only goal as the ███ bloodline.”

The woman sits on the sand, signaling you to do so. Obeying, you can’t help yourself to grab the sand and play with it. You only hear a chuckle coming from the woman, amused by the show.

”Pay attention, okay?” She says in a firm tone, showing him a small brown book, ”this book is important— don’t lose it. Inside there is everything I told you about, and much more. Be careful with it and handle it with care... drec femm pa dra mycd desa E fuimt cyo ed.”

。。。。。。。。。。

“Goodnight, ███.”

-

”███ is going to attack someday— that’s all we know. Hopefully, the others ███ can do something before that.”

”You are speaking as if you have faith in this kid. That’s dangerous— you won’t even be there when he wakes up.”

”Oh, ███! Stop the negativity! I believe in my ███. He’s strong— if something even happens, he will find his way trough.”

-

”I didn’t mean to make things go this way. Forgive me.”

-

Fa ymm yna kuhhy tea! Zicd palyica fa luimth'd cdub y cehkma eteud! Dra Nispmehk... ed fyc ehhajedypma.

-

”That stupid kid! Why did he had to exist?! If only he didn’t, everything would have been better! Shit!”

”How can you say that, ███?! He’s the key to all of our freedom!”

”Cut that shit! Can’t you see?! The Elders even said that! The world is going to suffer the rage of a ███! Just because he has The ███! Fucking shit! Your kid is not even standing a chance against that— it’s just useless. All of this,”

”He’s going to do the right thing. I know him— he’s my boy.”

”What even is the right thing, ███? This world is going to see the true devil once for all… just because they couldn’t do their job properly. For a nation, ███ is truly useless.”

-

”You are the connection. You will do the right thing and free us. You are the future. ███ counts on you.”

-

”Kill him— you have to.”

-

”Why did you have to join the Survey Corps? You will get killed!”

-

”I love you, ███. Please forgive me.”

-

”Did you know the sea is soooo big?! Even bigger than these walls!!”

-

”I know you have to kill me. But even if I love you, I won’t let you.”

-

”The sea. We’ll go together.”

-

”–ced. With this letter I hope we can unite for a new and greater future. Sincerely, ███ lineage.”

-

"We are the ███'s shield, as they are his sword."

-

"They are chasing us! Son of a bitch! After the hell they put us through we are disposed like this?!"

"Making us forget...? But we swear to protect... why do we have to disappear? Why is that our fault?"

"There's nothing else to do, then. Let's get out of here."

-

”I told you I wasn’t crying!!!”

-

”We are just a creation born from ignorance. Born from hunger for more power and control. Why are we even fighting for them?”

-

”We’ll find each other. Even when 10 years go by, I will always think of you.”

-

"I heard your whistle. You saved me, again."

-

"I promise you I'll protect you!"

"With that loud voice? I don't think so."

-

"I... I can't. I love you."

-

”Goodnight, ███. I’ll see you later.”

♛

…

…Well, sometimes naps didn’t do the trick.

The unlucky boy slowly opened his eyes, feeling even more tired than before. He forgot his dreams were mentally draining— even when he didn't remember much about them. 

Frowning, [name] glares at the sky in irritation. He feels useless; unusable. Forgetting those feelings were closed inside his heart, whenever he was alone they surfaced to torment his thoughts. This wasn't what he wanted to feel. It wasn't nice, nor made him feel better. It was a never-ending misery he didn't want to take part of.

”...I’m thirsty,” sighing in defeat, [Name] sat down. He played with the grass, feeling sweaty. Taking off the jacket was an urgent need, but the stinging pain on his left arm stopped him. “...and full of pain,”

[Name] wasn’t good with directions, even less inside a forest with his aching body causing his mind to not work properly. But he believed his hearing would come in handy— if there was something at all around this forest. Unfortunately, he could already hear there was more raining coming.

Standing on his feet with an exasperated sigh, the lost boy began his exploration. Sucking up the pain and bruises, he only hoped to find someone or at least the way out. The sun was still up luckily, but it would soon hide because of the rain— the clouds were already grouping up. The fear of being alone with a monster roaming around already crawled on his mind. This was scary.

He felt useless. u̵̬͉͐̌̌̍̈́͆̓̌̐̀̆ś̵̳̯̯͕̯̟̦͖̬̠̪̦̲͔͇̔e̵̢̧͉͔͚̯͈̠͇͖͑̇̎l̷̪̣̘̘̪͇͔̥͎̩̆́̇̑̊̈́́̉͜e̴͖͗̍̽̿̕s̵͚̟̜̯̯͉̼̦͛͊̎͆̆͌̑̊͑̈̈́́͘͠s̵̨͎͎̜̗̉̐̇u̶̟̜̹͎̯͇͌̐̇̈́̐̎̿̌̕͜ŝ̶͓͍̠͖̞͍̰͚̩̜͆͐͑̈́̀e̶͖̹͎̦̭̦͕̰͎͚͍̓̇̈́̏͂͑̿͊̈͐̚͝ͅl̴̡̻̽e̴̛̪̙̙͓̽̈̏̅͝ͅs̶̞̲̣̘͐̊s̵͉̜̗͕͍̰̬̦̻̰͖̈́̎̐̽͆́̈́u̷̝̠̙̐̂͗̈́͌̒͘̚͜s̴̖̹̪̮͙̣̓̎͝͝ê̵̛̺̥̭̊̅͌͗̂͗̃͘͘͝l̶̫͇͎̍̍̊̑̃͊͛͘e̵̡̪̼̯̬̣̫̞̥̾̉̓͘ͅś̵͔̤̣̦̺̰̀̔̂̓̉̈̍͠͝ś̸̛̘̈̂̌̋̀̂͘͝ů̷̢̢̯͎͉̬̥̱͖̮̯͉̦̱̍̊̂͐̅̌͑̅̎̕̕͜͝͠s̶̢̢̙̲̰͍͇͎̙͓̲͈̑̃̆̽̑͆̔̄͐̈̎̌̚͜͠͠ȩ̴͇̤̼͍̯͈̤͉̬̣̿̈́̐l̵̢̡̛͓̜͈̦͈̭̎̍͂̂̉̑̏̕͘̕͠ͅȩ̵̢̖̳̠͓̼̠̮͚͍͔͇̰̋͆̃͆̏͐͜ṡ̷̛͔̺̑̓̋͘̚͝ṧ̵͓̪̮̱͕̭͖̲̺̈́̈́̽̾̐̚͘̚͠ͅu̵̧̢̻̔ͅs̸̫͈̘̺̺͖̫̭̜̭̟̖̿ę̵̞̱͚͚͈̱̟͖͔̣̻͋͌̽͛̓̈́̑̒ͅĺ̴͔̼̥̗̥͕̠̋̍̒͋̕͜e̶̡̟̝̪̰̥̤͖̪͚̼̤͐̃̍̒̆͒̋̑͘͝s̵̯̤̠̤̍̈̾͌̋͐̎͑̓͒̂̈́̀͠s̵̡̛̫͉̻̬̆́͐̏̄̾̈́̈͘͝͠ų̷̘͍͆̌͛͝͠s̵̡̡̻̟̺̙̹͓̲̦̦̰̮͇͒̈́̆̂̐̒̒̕̕͝͠͠ẻ̸͍̩̫̩͍̝͚̐̉̍̂̈́̉̓̃͋̀͊̀̈́͝l̶̢̛̥͈̤͓͖̤̩̤̞̟͌̈́̽͑̈́̆̏̓̑͐͊̓̕ͅę̷͔̬̭̮̾̋̔̅̋̋̄̀s̵̛̟͉̫͆̃̽̓̐͂͗̑̚s̷̹̱̞̳̫̖̲̓̓̒͒̒̆̐̇̋̚͜—

"Everything is going to be alright. I have always believed in you, so please be strong."

[name] didn't like loneliness. He loved his friends; their moments together is what made him, him. If not for the people around him— if not for Beatrice, he would have been a nobody. Someone who wasn't meant to exist-- a mere ghost with no purpose. But, even in his present, he sometimes felt like a ghost— as if he was someone faceless. Even if he remembered his name, he wasn't sure anymore about it— perhaps he confused his memories.

Perhaps they weren't his, anyway.

Perhaps he was nobody, really. 

w̶̰̦͈͍͚͉͛͋͌̌͒̑̽̀͛h̴̡̜͚̩̼̙̺͕̮̼͓̹̩͍̄͋̈́͗̀̅̅̾͐̇̾̄͘͝o̵̡̡̰̻̲̞̤͍̣̙͔͎͚̙͋͂͌̾͘ ̴̤̱̓̓̎̓̂̒̄͐͋̾̏̈́̀̔̕a̴̢̡̝̞̗̰̞̓̉̂̇̿̊͊́͛̏̑ͅŗ̶͔̟͚͇̾̽̈̉̀̓̽̓e̶̛̦̊͒ ̷͚̻̭̠̳̻͕̝̎̀̏͜͜ͅy̸̧̧̨̭̥̰̝̼̺̠̺̳͚̥̽͐̓̌͛o̵͇̯͋̊̓͆͝ų̷̳̫̣͓̦͖̳̣̣͈̻̬͚̂̇̈́̒̍̆̇͌̐̄̉̄̅̑̚?̴̡̙͇͔̪̬̟̖̘͍̭͐̾̔̀͐͗̑̑̾̋͌̂͘͝

"Its okay to feel fear. I have been scared many times!"

"Stupid kid. Be careful!"

As he wondered inside wonderland, the footsteps behind him weren't noticed at first. In fact, a deep haunting growl was the major factor that took his attention.

"Uh...?"

He looked behind him, connecting stares with a red intense eye. [Name] was sure the thing was looking for him all this time— he was a fool for believing otherwise.

I should have know better.

”̶̛̣̫͚̱͚̦̬̜̍̆̾̏͗̂͂̅̍̎͐͑Y̴̛̙͚͙̾̍̉̽ȅ̴̢̟̯̭̫͖̪͔̺̞̝̭͍̬́̓͐͂͊̈́̔͑̃ͅş̵͕̫̯̖͇̭̘͎̻̪̘̍̑̿͂̄̇̊̿̚͝,̴̡̝̠̭̈́̔̐̐͂̇̈̌͂̒͌́̋̀͝͝ ̶̧̡̩͇̞̲̙͍̰̞̤̩͕͍͇͆͂͌͋̉͋́̓͝͝y̸̨̨̼̬̦̣͈̠̜̣͙̣͙̜̞̾ô̸̰̞͎̞̝̠̣͙͕̲͇̗͓̗͑̌̎̔͘ͅu̶̘͓͙̺̻̹͌͋̂͌̀͝ͅ ̷̡̝̘̪̝̦̥̤̓́͋̽̑̀͆̈́̊̐̕͝s̶̢͖͓̗̤̻̖͇̟̗͇͙̀̍̑͌̓̅́͐h̸̤̬̳̱̩̀̀̊͛̉͗̐̓̈̉̋̈́͝͠o̸̞̔̆̾ṷ̷̧̪̙͍̱͎͎̩̘̺̪̏͜͜l̷̢̪͆̄ď̸̢͚͖͇̲̮̕’̵̨̢͕͉͔̩̥̜̰̜̠̞̝͍̺̒̓̆̆͠v̶̢̯̻̱͔͎̹̙̙̓͛͛̈̍̆̅̏̎̓̽͋͜ͅé̷̙̯͍͚̈́̈́͘.̵̢̹̭̺̳̘̖̫̬͆͐́̏̓̾”̶͕̳̀

“I’m so fucked.”

“̶͉͍̩̥̮̈́̅̏̽́͒͜͠I̴̢̓́’̶̛͚̫̲͚̈̀͛̆̽̿̃̔ͅm̶̨̙̮̘̺̩̹͎͖̪͛̽͒̍̓̔̌́̈́͘ ̵̢̨͚̮̰͖͈̾̄͆̕͜ǹ̵̨̛̝̺̩͚̀̈́̂̌͛͊̏o̶̮̯̺͕̠̍̃̒̐̂̓̃͆̒̌ͅt̷̨̛͚̤͔͍̻͕̑͗͌͊ ̵̼͓̦̄͝ͅh̵̨͒̎ẻ̵̢̨͍̙̼̪͎̱̝̇̈́͝l̵͚̘̀̿͑͋͗̊̚p̷̧̮̎̄͘i̸͖̭̤̩̦͉̐̍̽̋̿̿ṋ̵̯̩̣̺̰́̀̉̓̇̀̀̓̽g̴̞͔͎͍͇̎͌̄̍̈́̓̃͠ ̷͉͕̦̊͜h̸͇̼͇͛͊i̶͓̹̞̾̾̏̐͊̒͋̂͛m̶̯͈̘̣̰̖̌ ̶̩̈́͐̃̈́͌ť̶͉h̷̡̖̱̬̩̫͛̂͂̈́͜͝i̵͍̭̫̾̚s̶̢̱̼̱̭͉̆ ̴̤͉͑͐͗̈̉͊̎̚t̷͍̥̻̗̳̲͕̝̦̽̌͒̍͑͝ḭ̸̛͊̔͗̿̓̿̈́m̴͙͇̮͕̣̹̠̅̋̏̇͋̚e̵̖͙͖̊̐̄̃,̸̧͉̭̼͉̖̳̻̲̓̍͘ ̴̛͚̊͠ͅẘ̷̧̝̭̦̯̞̬̇̈͗͑͠ơ̸̼̯̮̻̣͓̫̖͊̈́̃̏̕m̴̢̘̠̞̘̀a̸̢̟̝̝̰͔͇̞̹̓̅͜ñ̸͕͓͔͚̮ͅ.̴̙͈̬̰͚̗͈̺̇̋͜͜”̷̦̯͍͎̪̙̀̾͊

”̶͇̟̦̐̋̓̆̏͑Y̷̨̩̘̹͋ǫ̶̛̘̻̟͙͈̿͛́͒͋̈́̓̍̈́ǔ̸̮͖̱̖ ̷̭̦͙͚̥̘̎̾͒́͂͂̆̕͜ͅc̵̞̤̓̃̿͠ä̴͕́̑͆̓̾̿͗̕ṅ̵̘̪͙̍̍̌̏̉̉ ̷̯̮̖̥̮̣̲̰̆͒͜b̴̨̈ẽ̸̥͚̲̝̈́̄̐̌͑̊̌ ̵̞̄͗̐͒̕s̵̢̤̼̼̮̟̘̐̆̿̾̓̌ͅo̴͓͂͋ ̴̛̝̰̮͍̖̃̂̽͗̈́͌̇́͜ͅc̴̢̱̞̘̔͐͒͆͑̆̿͐̏r̸̛̫̗͇͈̺͇͎̩̗͒̀͘u̴̬̽͗͝e̸̡̩̯͇̩̜̍̑ĺ̴̛̼̦͔͚̲̗̱̣̥̌̇̋͋͘͝ ̷̨͚͎̾̅̓͘w̴͔͂͊̋̆̍̈́̇̅̐h̴̞̲̖̰̝͈̄͆̊̃̓͜͜͝e̴͍͓͓̞͑n̵̞͑ ̷̧͖͌͐̆̀̍́̓͂̂̾ͅy̵̼̥̜̓͒͐̀͊̚̚ơ̶̘͖͕͈̗̠̪͖̰͒̈̐̓͂̀͋̚͝u̵̧͎̪̳̯̖̟̭̪̓̈́̋̋ ̶̡͍̝̜͖͕̲͉̜͈͐w̸̱̱̹͋̉̉̋̆͛̌̏̑ą̶̧̗̜̱̼͇̮̳͍̏͠n̸͕̰̬̊̽ͅͅt̷̼̮̬̙͈̃̂̽͋̈́̔̄͐̚,̴̗̻̏ ̸͎̹͒̿̚̚█̵̢̝̱̣̝̜̣̰̟̈̓͜█̵̧̢̧̤͍̘̞̜̀̽̾́̉̍͆͘͠█̸̤̓.̴͙͈̠̹̼͓̽̀̓̃̀͐́͌͜͠ͅ”̶̮̻̹͕̮̮̈́͌̒

“̵̥̔̋͂͂̈͌̃̕̕̚͜Ḣ̸̦̣͆͗̽͠e̶͓̥̼̖̦̻̙̭̎̈͑͒̈́͝’̴͍͇̈́̋̍̓̾̌̒̕͘s̴̞͓̘̭̝̱̑̍̕͜ ̴̦̲̥̜͍̏́̈́̽̿͜ġ̷͔͕̭̦̩͙̮͎̫͌ͅo̷̬͕̼̾͒̾̇̍͆͌͊̇ͅi̷̛̛̹̔͐̏͗͆̽͛n̸̤̙̟͛̐̐͊̏g̵̣͈̳̩̹͒̉̂͊̕͝ ̸̧͕̖͔̬̊͗̀̽͋ṭ̴̛̛͕̮̮̳̗͊̈́͐̃̂̏̉o̶̻̫̐͒͋̀͂͒̏͌̇ ̶̝̥̭̗̫͙̓̈͝b̴̳͔̔̄̐̉̅̈́̕ë̴̡̥̰͓́̄͠ ̸̢͆̈́d̴͕͖͙͕͎̘̻̥͖̃͆̏ͅe̴̯̦̥̎͝a̷͈̗̠̩͙͕̿ͅl̶͖̤̦̣͔̥̖̖̻̍̑̃̆̐̚i̶̡̝̥̪̼̥̟̣͋n̶̘͉͓̻̥͋͑͗͋ģ̷̘̙͙̰̺̫̪͔̒͐́͌̾̆̑̀̈̚ͅ ̶̬̙͈̱̝̤̥͉͒̽̊́̎̀̅̕s̷̺̠̦̜̺͊̒̏͛̔̾͊̾̈́͝o̷̻̼͓͇̓̀̀͗̾͊̚͝m̷̡̦̟̬̭͕͚͒́̓͠ͅe̶̤͈̘̊̌͑̃͑͠t̶̢͖͉̤̩͓̻̒͐̎̋̉͜͝h̵̢͈̦͇̝̠̲̭̙̒̾͝i̵͓̜̖͓̔n̴̡̻͍̻͖̫̍̒̂͗ͅg̴̡̲͖̼̫̺͔̋̀͗́ͅ ̵̹͙͎̞̣̦̟̘͊͋̚̕b̵̡̨̬̰̦̆́̾̇̏̕͘͜i̵̛̲͚̋̅̔̀̋̆͘g̸̢̧̛̖̤̗̻͈̋́͗̒̇̅͋̎͝g̴̠̟̗͉̙̣̝̹͍̅̈́̀̄e̷̛̫̙͙̗͕͓̺̓̔͜r̸͈̮̤̻̫̠̋͗̍͗̕ ̶̬̓͋̽̽͋͊͗͠b̴̨̢̪̻̘̻̱̖̲̅́͛̊̂̏̾͜͝ý̸̰͓͇̇̋ ̵̞͋͘͝h̶̦̲̦͍̬̮͈͖̓͐̌͆̕ͅi̵̢̛͚͚̟̩̦̻̱̫̬̅̐̾̀̐͑̂̏m̴̨̤̙̘̮̃̽s̷̤̺͎͇͓̮̜̍̽̀ę̶͚̜͙̗̥̋͑̽̆̐̑̏ͅl̸̢̻͔͍̯͈̯̄́̐̋̅̓̓̇͘f̷̪͓̭̤̣̯͙̞͍̀̈́ ̷̨͙̺̗̜͓̫͆́̎͂͋̈́̅̑̚o̸̬̊̉͋́́̀͊̕̚͝n̴̛͓̜̒̏̎̔́̈́̕ͅe̷͉͚̭̐̔͌̈̐̅̃̒̉͘͜ ̸̢̘̹̭͊̓̑̈́̀͝d̶̙̼̺͔̲̜͚̣͂͗́̐̆͊͝a̶͉̭̪͑̄̃̍̅͂̇͆̓͝ẙ̸̱̍.̷̳͍̔̂ ̸̳͔̼͎̐͑͝Ũ̷̠̜̘͙͎͝ņ̵͉̻͇͖̜̝͔̺͗̅̊d̷͓̹̭̳̓͠e̶̡̘̯̤̫̔̋r̷̨̡͓̰̰͍̓̿́̌͜s̶̡̻̪͖̫̥̥͆̄́̐̅̌̈́͘͠͠ͅt̴̬̦̪̞̥̮͛͋͒̐͋͑̾̈͑͘a̶̞̫̞̤͒̈́͛n̶̠̹̜̠͉̰̳̻̝̑̓͋̄͌̉͝d̵̢̜̯̣̩̦̪̮̞̒̈́̽̂̿ͅ ̴̘̙͕̮̪̖͌̐̋̇̓͗̿̅̈́̍ḩ̴̢̲̤͂̅̐͜ͅi̵͉͕͈̘̋͆m̴̛̻̤̗̰̻̪̉̇̕͜͜.̸̤̙͉͕͕͎͖̭̦͆͐́͠”̴̯̀͊́̓̅̂́͝ͅ

”̷̧̝͇̘͖̲͔̙̭͗̃͊…̵̧̼͋̈́̉̆͋͠͠Ḻ̶̨̹̟̏e̸̡̡͉͉̝̻̼͎̅̑̇̒̈̋̂͐͌͘n̸͈̗̻͍͍̉̿̄́̾͂̑̏͠d̷̨̛̫̯̪͚̰̤̠͓͛̔ḯ̷̺n̷̛̲̼̄̋͗͗͠͝͠ĝ̶̨̊̀̉̈̑͛ ̷̦̞͕͉͈̋̈́͜͠a̴̭͗̽̾̉ ̸̖̪̠͉͕̜͉̍̋̒́͒̆h̶̛̖͓̅̃̍̄̊͗͝ä̶̢̬̜̼̤̜́̊̊͂ņ̴̡̡̨̼̤̮͚̻͊͛̀d̵̡͓̮̘̝̂͠ ̷̧͎̙̣̫̪̱̭̖͑̾̀̓̕͝ͅī̷̳͉̹̌̅̑͝ş̸̛͍̝̣͆͂̌ ̴͉̫̫͎̅͑̑̿̊̒͜n̷̞͑ơ̴̙̮͌̀̇͂͆̆̈́͝͝ť̶̘͖͇͉͉͌͆̀̿̍́̐̋̕ ̶̙͇̜̌̈́̊̐͊̈́́͗͝ẁ̵̨͙̭͈̯͙̲̳̖r̴͖͓̎̋̎̾̕͠͝͝ŏ̷̪̬͒͛̏̈́͂͂̏͆͘n̶̰͚͗̒̏g̶̡̫͈͔̮̮͚̫̘̗̎́̏̄̏͋̊̚.̸̡̱̭̘̪̳͔̻̔̾̆̔̇͒̈͊̕̚͜”̵̢̺̦̫͙̹̞̲̃͂͊̋̃͑́͋̐̕

”̵̧͚̩̙͎̹͓̺̻͇̍̉̓̆͐͝N̷̨̲̦̝̖̭̻͔͔͂́̏ͅę̷̘̦̻̙̟̱̊̌̆̅̓̾͐̓̔i̶̛̫̫̿͊̀͂̀̈́͛͐͝t̵̛̺͖̹̓̈́͋̅͛̽͒̚͝h̶͉͚̼̉̇̔͊̈́̈́̾̒͜͝ͅe̷̝͓̪̬͈̙̽̐͛r̷̡͖͉̝̯͉͚̺͗̀̊̑̌̈́̈̾́͆ ̴͔̝̲̰̟͍̭̭̤̓̎͊ĭ̷͖̱̬͇̪̓̈́̒̎ͅs̸͎̀̆͗̉̓̈́͝ ̸̫͊͊̍̊̾̂͘͘͝ḽ̷̨̢̨͕͔̯̘̥̰̎͂̓͌̽͘͠e̵̮̒t̸̻͈̝̯̤͇̻̣̉́̒͂̉t̷̹͆͜ͅḯ̷̧̱̘̼͔͚̝̆̈͝͠n̶̢̢̰͖͚̞̭̼̝̩̍ģ̷͎̤̰͔̜̹͗́͌͂͆̂̍ ̸̨͖̠̎̆͛̽̎̄̾̔h̴̨̛̠̙͎͎̱̤̬͉͂̓͑͐̍̒͑́͝į̵̨̧̭̲̥̙͚̰̀̉m̶͚̈͛̈́̾̽͂͐̔͘͘ ̷̢̮̰̹̳͙̤̺̑̊͂̅͌̚g̷̤̦̀͛̎͆͝r̵̦̃͒̽̍͘ǫ̴̢̤̤͉͕̦̲͕̎̔̈́̐̅́̌̒̋͋͜w̵̭̘̬̲̜̗̉̇̆͗̐͒ͅ ̷͙̂͒͌̈́̐̋͐͂͒̈́ų̸̲̊p̸̤̠̞̹̣̺̮͈̐͌̄̑͂̾̍̆̎.̶̯́̾͐͜͝”̶̦͎̗͉͖̌̏̑̾͆̀̌̕͠

Just as the beast sprinted [Name] did the same. He knew there was no way to go— the thing doesn’t seem to get tired easily, and [Name] was more than tired. There was no other choice but to fight— but he couldn’t see how. Running was the only way to gain some time for whatever he could do next. But his mind, filled with terror didn't let him think— he was scared. Scared of not see anyone of his beloved ones again; to not enjoy his usual life with the others. To not see Beatrice again— to not laugh, cry, dream.

He abruptly stop right into a tree and looked behind just to see the beast charging directly at him. [Name] tried to regulate his shaky breathing as his tensed body prepared to move at the exact moment he ordered— and just as the animal was inches to bite him, [Name] shut down his own pain and jerked away just in time for the beast to hit it’s head on the wood, a loud bump echoing the forest. The boy didn’t waste time and ran again, sparing a quick glance behind him to see the animal was grunting and didn’t intend to move.

”̸̭̆̉̄̽̀͜͠͝À̵̖̳̼̙̿̔̍̇̇͛ṱ̴̟̔̽̇͌̐͝ ̵̙̳͊͊̎̄̇̀͌ļ̴͖̥̥̈͆̉̀̈́͝͝ͅȩ̸͙͎͌͘ą̸̨͉̼̳̭͖̩͓̗͒̈́̾̔s̶̝͔̩̟̺̙͇͕͊̉̈͂̋̈́͘ͅt̶̡̯̦̪̫͒͗̆̀̐̓͗͘͠ ̷̩͙̃͋h̶͍̩̩̝̺́̎̓̓̆̈́͝ē̶̘̯͈͉̪͚͓̞̆͑̍͑̓̀́͒͂͜ ̶̖͕̬̤̬͆͌̽͂̀͑̋́̚h̵̢̗̤̩̜̲̼̞͚̎͐̀̚͝ͅã̴͖͚̻͎̰̇̂͊͐s̵̱̳̝̪͕̝̖̎̀͜ ̶̧̡̖͈̞̗̣̼͇̀̾̀͋̑̎̒s̸̛͎̫̮͉̺̖̺̣̀̂̔̏́o̴̧̼̝̭̘͓̭̤̤̊̈́̓̀̆̋̇̕̕̚ͅm̶̧̟̺̱͉̝͍̼̱̂̂̕ê̶̡̡͓̜̼ ̵̧̤͔̦̠̠͆̋͛̋̈́̔̈́͘͠b̵̢͈̫̯̫̀͒̚ȑ̶̠̇̈͑͐͑̓a̶̢̛̻͈͆̒́̎̽i̵͈̻̘͋̈̂̐̽͋͛́ņ̴̥̘̬̭̩̳̎̕s̵̛̲͈͌̓̅ ̶̨̨̛̹͈̟͖͈̯̜̩̈́͊̐̀̐́̋͆̕l̴̛̤̼̘̺̖̗̝̫̹̯̏́͒͌̕͝͠e̶̫͈̥̯̟̋͗́͗f̷͍̯͉͓̠͗̓̈́͌͂̃͝t̶̡̬͍͙͗.̸̟̈́̎͂̈̐̐̀”̸̛̛̜̬̟͕͔̦̪̫͛͒͋̒̈̿͜ͅ

”̸̗͙͇́̂̾̆̆D̵̩̘̍́̎̐͝o̶̯̤͙͉͍̦̪̩̤̥̎͋̓̿̔̑̕ņ̸̨̞̞́͆͑̄͗́̎͊͑̇͜’̸̣͔͍̪̇͆̌̈́̆̀͂̕t̶̳̅̀̈́́̓͂ ̴̜͍̘̏̀̈̓̀͋̎ḇ̷̟̣͍̪͂ĕ̸̟͓̦̩̆̚ ̷̩̈́͛̋͋͒̏͝r̶̞͕̤̂͑̀̽̋̈́͆͌̓̓ú̶͎͓̜͛̉̄͌͒͠ḋ̴̟̜̟͇̳̙̉̇ȩ̷͉̙̳̳͖̖͆̓̀͐̕͝͠!̸̨̛͚͕͚̋͑̋͊͌̔̓͌̄”̶̧̼̹̪̖̱̭͎̟̊͋̀͘͘͝

[Name] tried to get away as much as he could— hoping he could find a weapon to defend himself, yet his erratic state did not let him focus on anything. Whatever he was doing or planning was done when death was breathing on his neck. 

“̷̨̪̣̤̭̱͚̋̐̈́̏͗̕̕̕T̸̜̲̘̬̜̽͐h̵̜̯̯̩͍̄̈́̒͆͌̆͌ỉ̵̞̼̳̥̱̤̫͖̊̂̓͝ͅs̶̢͎͚̞͉͕̳̩̭̬̈́̌̄̆̅̒̋̄ ̸̜̆̈́̀̅̅̂̌͌̚k̷̺̱̪͌̀̇͛͝͝ị̴͇̬̦͗̾̂͂̅̾͑̈͝d̵͍̩͇̍́̿̓̆̉̈͘̕͝…̸̛̰͙̲̘̞̒̇͐̀͛͌ ̸̛̯̗̗͍̞͇̦̈́́͊̈́̉͛̊̇͜͜ą̵̨͆̊̑̄͗r̸͍̰̞̼̼̟̳̆̃̏̔̑̾̊͘͠ę̵̨͍̱̗̮̫͙̲̿̋̒n̵͕̗̯̻̦͓̒̌̉͒̍̎’̴͉̯̣̝̪̞̥͚̫̈́̀͛̈́̽͛̽̂̈t̴̡̩̟̹̼̱̉͒́͑̅́̕ ̷̡̩̣̕w̸͚̪͛̍̉̑͒̽́ͅe̷̛̪̳̬̲̳̱̬̒͒̀͗͆́̃͠͠ ̶̢̟̮̲̲̥͕̠̒̿̌t̷͓̓͛͛̔͝r̷̡͈̹̙͑͛̄̔̕a̷̢̗̼̫̼͇͛̈̐͌̐̉͐ͅỉ̶̧̺͈̭͍̣̦̳̙̘ņ̵̰̺̏͋̃̂͜i̴͙͊̎̈́n̷̢͔̭͍̥̗̮̊ͅg̴̢̤̮̽ ̴̢̠̼̯̈̐̍̈́͗̒̅̍̓̌ḩ̷̧̛̳͚̼͎̹̃̀̆͛̃̇i̵͔̱͎̊͒̃̽̈́̉̎͐̾̚m̵̛̩̲̘̻͗̊̈́̀͂̚̕͠ ̴̧̼̪̟̰͚͚̝̖̣͗̈́͒t̴̡̛̬̖͕͈͎̬̳̊̀͊̌͜ͅo̷̭̞̩͐̍͐̾̇̎̊̍͘͝ ̷̙̫̆͋́͋̽͂ọ̶͖͚͊v̴̨̰̝̦͈͓̣̜̈́̎̿̋͗͊̍̇̓̚ė̵̱̗̝̖̮̗̹̟̠͈̈̔͑͑̓r̵͉̦̘̼͉͎͇͔̒̇͑̓͑͘͘͘͝ĉ̸̢͇̀̀͛̿͝͝ò̷̧̬̖̖͕͕͉̜̞̲̈́̎̆m̷̧͔͓̩̫̰͇͕͇̀̈͜e̷̡̡̨̮̤̝̱̪̝̐́ ̷̨͓̮̯̼͔͂̂͐̐͆͘ͅṣ̸̛̜͚̰͍̻̣͆͒͋͛͊͆͜͠h̶͚͎̐ï̴̢̖͉̘̥̼͌̀̋̾̒̇͒t̷̳̜̝̰̦̍̏̈́͒͠͝ ̷̦̭̅̒̚l̴̛̘̜̇̇́̊̕ḯ̴̞̃͆̈́̑̈́͗͠k̷͈̮͔̮̗͚͙̤̺̈́̈͛̈́̓͒̍̓̌͠e̸̡̹̬̬͎͙͖̩̔̆̾͌́̒̔̏͛̚ ̸̙͉̆́̎̂̀̚t̴̮͗̎͒̋́̿̃͠͝ḥ̴̰͈̠͕̩́̉̋̽̽͌͂̐̾͜ͅi̵̡̖̇̅̃̃̀̓̚͝s̴̢̞̤͗?̴̨̊̒͗̏͒̈́̈́͛”̸̝͈̖͇̊

”̴͉̯̪͉̳̝̺̙́̂̐͛̒̌̓̆́̕ͅF̴̳̳͚̞̠͈̗̦͋̈̌͛̾͋̕o̷̙̙̘̮̠͚͎͔̊́͑̽̋̚͝͠͝r̷̫̝̭̱̹̮͒ ̸̫͈̝̙̈̈́t̴̨̛̖̯̩̠̥͆̇́̐̋͝ͅh̵͓͉͉͑̒i̵̟̓s̷̢̡͚̩̣̙͈̉͆̇̐̎͌̉͆̄ ̴̮̦́̑͋̿ȩ̸̬̱̩̳̖̯̼̬̜͊̿̈́͗x̶̛̞͕̜͕̠̺ͅa̸̢͓͖͔̯̰̪͍̫͒̀͐̀͛̿̃c̷̠̪̬̪̞̹̏̋̄̕t̶̢̲̜͍͈͚̟͇̎̐̅ ̴̡̨̠́́̐̃͆̃̏̾̉̓s̸̡̪͉̭͔̙̦͚̼̈̀̇̾͒i̸̜͇͈̳̻͆̂ͅţ̴̱̗̞̗̜̾̈́̽͌͘͘͝ụ̸̙̬̬̘̹̂̿͊̄͊͗̎͠͝ͅa̷̝̬̻̿̒͂͆͒̂̅̚̚͝t̵̛̘̓͗̽͌̿i̷͙̳̟̙̦̺̽͑͗̍͊̌͋ͅo̴̡̧̧̞̠͉̟̟̯̤͐̀̑̐̊n̴̤̫̟̤͚̑̊ͅ?̵̣̩̻͔̳̳̟̂̇͝ͅ ̸͎̖̲̟̜̫̍̿̇̂̒̐I̶̮̼̝̖̯̺͖̒͒̾̌́̋̌͑͜͝͠ ̵̼̔͌̍̈́͆̔́͒͠t̶̲̥͎̦̦͚̠͔͓̄̇̽̄̍̑̚̕͘͜h̶̡̩̥̩̭̹͌̒͋̊̓̔̕ì̵̼͔̜n̵͖̥͓̠̠͌k̶̨̼̗̹̈̉̇͑̌̅͛́̓ ̵̥̞̼̦̒̅͊̏̅͛̚w̵̘͈͇̼̘͈̲̟̎̑̾̆̕̚ę̶̣̘̾̔̏͝͝ ̶̣̩̣͓̕ḍ̷̫̬̦͇͆̅̿̈́͂̄̓̆̇i̴̧̛̔́d̶̨̛͈̬̆̓̈́̈́́̔̀̕̕n̷͉̯̥̤̲͗̂̓̋̈́͜'̶̛̝̥̞̖̞̦́̑͆̃͌͌͠ͅt̷̐̆͜͝.̶̛̼̮͍̋̆̉̿̎͑”̵̨̺̣̩̉͑̃̐̎̕͠

And just before he knew it those loud steps echoing the forest made his mind crazy again— hearing the thing coming from behind so quickly made him tremble. He was tired; his side hurt like hell and his foot felt as if it was going to snap right there. Yet the adrenaline was what made him unable to focus on anything but to live.

Yet, his inability to focus is what made him not notice a thick, curly tree root pecking out of the ground. Something so simple and harmless is what made him fell straight on his face, and to the hands of his executioner.

He tried to get up as quickly as he could, grabbing what he could desperately. Yet, the beast was already over him, drooling, growling and shaking in anger. With a thunderous cry, the thing jerked itself forward to bite, and before it could have gotten his neck or part of his face, [Name] raised his left arm to protect himself, allowing the creature to bite him there instead.

Sinking pointing teeth trough his flesh, touching what wasn't meant to be touched obliged [name] to let out a loud, shattering cry— the thing’s fangs had already scratched him on his stomach and legs, yet the only thing processing on [Name]’s mind was how his arm hurt that fucking much. He cried, he shouted, he whimpered, yet there was nothing else to do— was his arm going to be teared apart? What could he do to something this big? Tears flowed on his face dirtied with blood, his voice getting higher and higher.

”̴͇͗͌͐̅̀̏̈S̸͖͕̩̫̩͆̌͊̽̔͝t̷͕̜̟̮́̀̄ò̴̢͇͍̇̃̚p̴͇̗̭̂͐͐́́̓ ̵̡̛͇̮̮̓̓͝c̶̖͙̯̠̳͚͈̯̜̓̓͆r̵̢̞͚̜͖̞̐̿̍̿̅̊̀̓y̶͓̼͓̘̳̥̜͘͜͠į̶̢̡̜̩̫̹͚̜̰̓̊͛͌͝ņ̶̙͍̲̱͙̱̃̾̓͆̍͊̅g̴̢̙͖͓̜̏̔̓͛̌̈́͠!̴̻͖̳̟̓̍̀̽̍̽͗͝͠ ̵̺̞͈̗̮̱̺͇̗̅̀͐͆ͅF̷̛̖̜̳̻͔̃̈́̅́̆ͅi̴̥̺̠̯͔͔̻̤̮͓̚͠g̸̦̝̰̦̺͔̔̃̍͒͐̃͘h̸͇͋̒́̾̓̈ẗ̷̩͓̏͐͠!̸͔͓͓̔͗͜”̸̝͇̪̎̚͠

Yet, something clicked— his right hand. It had took something solid and sharp: a quick erratic look fell over his only hope: a rock that would have never been a weapon of choice, but there was no time to be picky. It had a sharp side, pointy enough to cause some harm against a person. But to a beast? No way— but he had to fight. There was no choice.

As the thing bite [Name]’s left arm with all it’s strength, the boy let out a harsh, loud cry as he gripped his hand on the shaped stone and with all his will, encrusted it on the beast’s head multiple times, letting out splashes of blood as he took it out and in. It went all over his face, and it was no longer possible to maintain his eyes open because of it— the beast tightened his grip on his arm, yet [Name] never loss his’ on it’s head. Disgusting sounds of something cracking filled his ears; the mix of pain and adrenaline stopped him to feel anything but anger. This time, he wasn't himself— he was just a vessel for rage at this moment. 

Ì̴̠̤̻̒̇̓̇ ̵̧̯̲͓͕̳̖̻̼̀́̐̈́̊̋͘w̸̢̮̘̞̺̹͑͆̈́͒̎ï̵̭͈͍̰̪̖̑̋͊̌̿͛ͅͅl̴̢̖̬̦̫͈̣̙̂̒͒̉͜͝ļ̸̛͉̭̝̠̳̖͚̔̂̉͝͝͝ͅ ̴̞̜̼͑͌͠͝l̸̡̡̩̮̝̭̳̫͂͊͊͊̌̉͌e̵̢̮̝̯͑̈̃͊̇̑̓̊͜͠n̵͍͗͑̔̕d̴̡̛͓̜̺̦̯̗́̎͊̐̒̒ ̶̧̨̛̝̬̫̻̲̏͜͝a̶̠̺̲̭̽̒́̌̏̋̋̒ͅ ̷̪̼̱̫̠̖̄̑̈͜͜ḧ̵̖̻̦̭̟̭́̋͜a̷̭̯̖̜̺̪̜͇̓̔͋̀̈́̍̕̚n̶̻̣͔̜͈̬̂̀̐͑̕ḏ̴̻̜̙̝͔͚̳̏́̄͠.̸̡̢͙̰̙̟̺̟͇͛̿͆̓̑́̈́͂͋̕

It was then, that something inside [Name] clicked. 

Deep inside he was scared, yet the will to see his friends again; to see Beatrice again, made him overcome that fear and replace it with rage.

He was going to fight— fight for himself, fight for his future. He wasn’t going to die all alone in this forest by the hands of a fucking ugly bear. That wasn’t his story— he promised himself he was going to see the outside; to seek the truth and find himself. He wasn’t going to die. He wasn’t going to let anything take his life away like this. He will see them again. 

H̶͍͛è̷͔ ̵̼́w̶͔̐ḭ̴͛l̸̺̎l̷͙̈́ ̸̩̂s̶̺͗e̴͘ͅe̵̮͋ ̸̗͛M̶̭̅e̴̫̔ï̴͉ḳ̸̐ȩ̴̔ ̸̱̚ä̴̦́ğ̴̯a̸̢̎ĩ̵̞n̸̺̓.̵̮͛

A thunder resonated inside his head, and with a last thrust, the stone went all the way inside it’s head as the sound of it’s broken skull and last gruff cry resonated under the rain. Even after [Name] believed it was dead already, his teeth never loose the grip on his arm. It was the boy’s job to carefully let them out, but that didn’t stop the awful, horrendous pain he felt once the adrenaline disappeared. However he could, he pushed the thing aside and laid there, looking at the cloudy twilight.

Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes. The rain touched his face, not washing completely the dirty scarlet on his flesh. Even if it was cold, the amnesiac boy couldn't help but feel sleepy.

A few minutes of resting didn’t sound that bad right now…

A̴͕̹̿͒̒̚f̵̟̩͆́̐̽̓͜ţ̵̢̹̝̯̓͠ȩ̵̡̥͔̹͓̅̀̑r̵̨̬̦͈̩͂̾̐ ̵̪̈͒̋̀̚ą̵̤͎̆̐̑̽̔͝l̶̛͕̜͂͐ľ̴̗͈͚͉̬̅́̃̎ ̶̣̹̄͒̀ǒ̴̳̻̬͉̥̥f̷̩̟͙͍͑͜ ̸͓̔͊̎̋̓ṯ̵͇̊͜h̷͎͌̾̌̚̕ǎ̸̡͇̤̌̆̚t̸̡̢̳̼̜̼̋̆̐͗͘͝ ̷̧͉̼̺̀̊ÿ̴̢̩̭̺̞́͊̏ō̶͉̪̌̎́u̷͚͆̓͋́̑ ̸̹̓̽̎́̕͠a̶̖̓͛͠r̴͇̦̹͇̊̊̋̔̅ḛ̷͔͖̟̓̎̀͒͝ ̸̪̳͕̌̎̔̓ͅg̶̗̮͆͌̌̐̄ó̴̟̜̳̿͛̕͜ȋ̶̜̑̿͆̓͝n̷͚̊ġ̴̯̲̮̝̺̠́̾ ̵͉̂̐̈́͗͝ͅt̶̨̛̖̱̠̰̂̏̊͠o̵̟͕̣̔̈́̓̋̔ ̷̢̝̉̈́̄͋͘̚ͅs̴̙̖̣͈̆̇͗ĺ̷ͅe̸͓͚͂̇̑̑͐̓ȩ̸̯̒͌p̷̛͖̙̞̘̐̇̓?̴̪̮̮̍͊́̚͝!̸͙̼̐̇̏̿͜ͅ ̷̢̢̬̟͌͝ͅẂ̸͕̝̽͆̍o̵̢̺͉̪̟̣͋̋̓̄̂̑m̸̬͙̠̩̗̑͋͑̔͑͆a̸̜̰̺̿̑͊̚n̵̡͙̹͒!̵̞̂̓̇̕͜ ̴͙̮̂W̶̰̼̬̳͔̌̐a̸̛̝̳͖̾̔̓k̵̭͉͈͖̅͗̐͛ͅe̵̙̭̙͛ ̷̨̫̟͓̫̗͆h̷̺͚̆̈̈̅͠͝i̵͈͠m̵̝̫̌̒͛̂ ̵̢͈͍̝̎̅̒u̴̡̺̙̤̽́͛̈͜p̴̡̺͙̙̱̚!̵̛̥̦̯̰̹͔̈́̌̈́

He was going to fell into darkness, until he heard something.

A whistle.

Opening his eyes, [name] thought of his choices: sleep, hoping to be found? or to suck it up, get up and find whoever was calling for him? This wasn't the time to sleep around— not after such display.

Even if all of his body screamed in pain, the boy got up and with his last strength went to where the sound came from— he knew exactly where it was. Luckily, every time [name] felt he was dozing off or just collapse, the stranger whistled again. Just as he stepped closer, he could hear it— voices, two people walking around, talking about some idiot and another gentle voice saying he was going to be alright.

[name] knew exactly who they were. 

With a last fight, [Name] stepped out of where he was and fell straight to the ground, sighing in relief as he heard the voices of his partners coming for him.

”Holy fucking shit!” The blond exclaimed as his eyes widened in surprise and relief, running where [Name] was, “you are alive— you crazy idiot! What were you thinking running off with that thing like that!? You almost killed me!” He tried to look at every injury the [hair color] haired had, and by just seeing how much blood covered his body turned his tone to one more terrified, “holy shit— holy shit! How are you even standing?!”

”R—Reiner! Calm down, he’s okay!” Bertolt tried to keep his friend with a cold head, but the tall boy felt scared of [name]'s well being. Any of it looked okay— the amnesiac boy looked like he went trough hell and back. He was covered in blood, he was shaking. Bertolt felt fear for him.

”I... handled... it,” [Name] spoke between breaths, tired of today, “I told you... we would find each other,” he smiled tirelessly, closing his eyes.

”H—Hey! Don’t close your eyes!”

But even if [Name] wanted to resist, the darkness caressed him with gentleness, inviting him to give in— which he gladly did. The last thing he recollected was both boys carrying him, speaking to him to not fall asleep.

”I told you he’s strong.”

”He barely made it, don’t act high mighty when he has more to do.”

”Reckless.”

“Oh, hush! He’s alive— that’s what matters.”

"Hmn. But for how long?"

♛

The nurse made it clear he wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon— horrible news for his friends to hear. She had explained his injuries were worse than they thought— his arm was the bigger problem, to the point they thought it was unusable at first glance. Luckily, further inspection discarded such statement, only needing some stitches to all the injuries and a special treatment for his arm. His arms and stomach were the main point of the attack, with his leg being heavily bruised. Thankfully [name] was unconscious for all the process to not interrupt the process.

Unfortunately, there was no more to do until he woke up, an answer they didn’t have. The boy fell into a slumber where nobody could wake him up. Sometimes the nurse, who was in charge of him most of the time, said he would grunt or say some slurred words. This could be caused by the fever that appeared the next day of his arrival, complicating his health. The head doctor didn't sugarcoat his words and stated he could or could not wake up, if only he didn't succumb to the fever any more.

There where times when his friends would visit him, but the doctor had strictly stated only one person could everyday— the man was surprised as he always saw someone else everyday. The majority always asked for him to wake up and be together again, yet each one of them asked with different tones. Some were upset, others careless —as if they knew he would wake up— and sometimes, he heard a happy voice telling the boy they would wait for him.

Now that he recollected, those two were best friend but yet, they were much different— what was it? Jaeger and his friend... Arlert. The doctor had a memory of how miserable Jaeger looked, taking Knight's hand as if it was the last time he would see him. He could tell the boy needed to cry, but hold his ground, just saying that he 'didn't want to go through this again'. And there was cadet Arlert, who only time he looked upset was the first encounter he had with Knight. Then for his next visits he often wore a sweet smile, holding Knight's hand as he spoke about wondering lands they didn't know— about what they did for today, about a memory they once shared. He liked to bring books to read at loud, too.

And then, there was this other boy— the doctor heard his name once, when someone was calling for him outside: Jean. A look of anger sometimes overcome his features, voicing his irritation about what his friend had done. There was a time where the boy asked the doctor if he was going to die or not, perhaps in a heat moment where he didn't want to wonder any longer. The answer was that, for him, it was unlikely yet not impossible. Jean just grunted, returning to his crossing arms stance with his usual frown. There were times where Jean could only stare at him, not saying a word. But there were other times when he could walk all over the room, until the doctor had to tell him to sit down or leave.

Sometimes, a black haired girl came too. Wearing a sad expression, yet firm voice. She always asked if there was something she could help them with whatever they needed for [name]. "We'll wait for you anytime, [name]. Even if it takes some time," she tries to reassured to the sleeping boy, yet a sigh escapes her lips, "...I cannot say the same for Eren, tough. You are making him the kid he was when you fell sick," she takes his hand, rubbing with her thumb his palm, "you know he has no patience at all... [name], please don't go where we can't reach. I miss you." and just like many times before leaving, she kissed his hand with gentleness.

Eventually Shadis came once, checking on the boy and asking if there was going to be something permanent on his health or not. Even if the wounds looked bad, there wasn't any indication of a permanent consequence. Yet if he woke up any time soon, he had to wait for his wounds to heal completely and take out the stitches. The doctor had made it clear he could not participate in any training if he wasn't fully healed. Shadis knew this already, anyway. Both of them acknowledged the rigorous training the ODM could be, and opening wounds was a big no no. The taller man only wondered if [name] could keep up with their training, or if he would decide to quit after such experience. Only them could wonder.

_______

the past.

_______

”You know, your eyes are different.”

”You have said that before.”

”I know. But I’ve never seen something like them before— and then you don’t remember anything…”

”Your point?”

Armin hums, wondering. 

“Maybe you are not even from here! Maybe you are from a place faaaar far away, don’t you think?”

“If I am from far away, how am I here?”

”Well! The books say humanity made the walls at one point, so that means there were people living freely before that!”

The amnesiac hums.

”And maybe, you were from an important family with distinguish features!” the small boy laughs warmly, imagining the past of his friend, “just like Valten’s story! don’t you think the same?”

Of course he remembers Valten— it was one of Armin’s books the two liked to read. It was about Valten, a boy with amnesia who a girl finds unconscious near a lake. Since the boy doesn’t recall any memories, the girl takes him back to her family, who runs a bar in town. His life develops from there, until an accident reveals his birthmark to the royals and finds out he was the lost prince from the royal family.

The moment Armin found out about the book he ran to Beatrice’s house to read it with his friend. From there, the blond always had bright ideas for [Name]’s past, absurd as they were. That was only what they had— wonders and speculations. Children’s wonder about the unknown— about what existed far away from this confinement.

”But why am I the only one with these eyes…?” [Name] spoke quietly, resting his chin on his knees as he hugged his legs.

”Hmn… maybe because you are special! Maybe you are the only one in your family that have them!”

“Mhm…” he sighs.

”But what we do know, is that our answers are outside these walls! Where the sea is!”

That, [Name] could agree with.

”It is said that the sea is much bigger than—!” And there goes his blond friend again, with excitement in his voice and reddened face as he spoke once more about the sea as if it was the first time he did it.

[name] couldn’t help a smile from forming, feeling excitement on his chest as he imagined what the sea looked like.

_____

the ocean.

_____

“As I was saying, child…” the woman stared expectantly, ordering with her tone to listen, “your future is already written. It is your choice to do it willingly, but unfortunately, if you refuse this task… it will be a hard life for you.”

The woman took some sand, just to slip it little by little. Staring, the boy found the sand more interesting than the so important topic at hand. A laughter came out from the woman before a sad, melancholic gaze appeared on her. 

"Be responsible with your strength— there would be times when you are harsher, so be mindful. Be thoughtful; just throwing your rage at your enemies won't help you, child. That is something a couple of our descendants had trouble with in the past, so don't make the same mistake."

"How do you know about them?"

"Because at one point in your life, you will be able to see the past of some of our lineage. And, if there's no mishap, they and I, would help you trough your task."

”Why do I have to do it…?”

”Because there’s nobody else, love… your family— this lineage, is destined to… disappear. It is our curse, since our blood and bodies were used for the wrong purpose— corrupted by greed just for the sake of wanting more.

Something like us weren't meant to exist, and so, time is our biggest enemy. There will be times where you will suffer the throwbacks of our lineage. After all, we are a creation born from ignorance, and greed blinds the common sense.“

”…I don’t understand…”

She chuckles, “sometimes I forgot you are just a child…” looking at the sea in front of them, a sigh escapes her lips, “the ocean… is beautiful, isn’t it?”

The boy’s eyes sparkled with excitement, clearly enjoying the change of subject. “Yes! It is very big and blue!!!”

”Indeed it is,” she smiles, “close your eyes with me, child.”

“Can you hear it? The waves?”

”Yes!” He answered in a hushed tone, smiling.

”The birds… the wind…”

”Yeah.::”

”That’s a gift from the world to you,” she pauses, “if someday you feel like crying— if you cannot find your way, close your eyes and remember this gift. Remember these sounds, this scenery…

remember, that I will always love you.”

____

the present.

____

The amnesiac slowly opens his eyes, body almost numb and hurting. With a migraine incoming, the boy prepared for the worst feeling he was going to experience for the next days.

He let out a groan, alerting the companion on the chair. 

Calling his name, [Name] recognized it was Jean. His worried, loud voice made him headache worse than ever, “s-shit! are you awake?!" the only answer he got was another grunt by [name], who tried to sit down yet he didn't have enough strength to move himself. He felt as if he was... underwater. "don't move! after what you have been trough, don't move an inch, you hear me?! after that shit you did—"

"I saw the ocean," [name] spoke bluntly, staring at the ceiling. It felt too real— a woman he knew but didn't recognize talking about...?

A grunt leaves Jean. "[name], you dream about everything and then—"

"No," [name] interrupted, "I have seen it; it was... vivid."

"...the attack took a toll on you, [name]. Stop talking nonsense,"

Shaking his head, [name] tries his best to sit down, trying to think about the dream. "I think... I think I lived near the ocean— or at least someone I knew lived on the shore..."

"Shore...? [name], you are not listening to me! You have slept for almost three weeks!"

"You are the one who doesn't listen!" [name] talked back, clearly annoyed, "I'm sure the ocean has something to do with me! I just do! Even if all of that was a dream, I..." he looked at his fists with a frown, feeling chaos inside his head, "I know what I saw was real. A woman talked to me on the shore... but I can't reach her words. Something about... me...?"

Jean sighed, annoyed yet understanding. His friend never remembered something about his past back in Trost, so hearing more nonsense than usual leaving his mouth was even more irritating knowing this idiot throw himself to danger like nothing. That was made him livid— he agreed mentally he would hear [name] out, but the lecture he prepared come first.

"Okay, your memories aside," Jean passed a hand trough his hair, "I just want to know WHY DID YOU ALMOST KILL YOURSELF, YOU IDIOT!"

Grunting, [name] laid down harshly again. As he rolled his eyes, he tried to calm his migraine down with no success. "Reiner was in danger. What else could I have done?"

"Uhm, I don't know? Maybe LEAVE REINER WITH THE FUCKING BEAR? The dudes almost a Titan himself, [name]! He could have handled himself just fine! But you HAVE to always be in danger for nothing!"

"How could I left him with that? He's my friend! Would you have done that to Marco?" 

"You have to care for yourself, [name]. I'm seriously saying this."

"Don't act selfish."

"Don't act dumbly. You know you have a problem with your migraines— what would have happen if Reiner didn't find you? Stop acting stupid!"

"But he found me! And now I'm here!" [name] shouted, "Why would I have left him like that!? He's my friend, just like you!"

"Of course fucking not! We are not the same!" he gritted his teeth, "don't even compare me with him!"

[name] glares at Jean, clearly upset. Yet the tone of his voice returns serene again. "Would you have left me there, then? Because I wouldn't have,"

Jean grunted, clearly in disadvantage. “Stop acting like a saint, shit,” covering his face with his hand, the boy’s tone changed into a defeated, tired one, "why are you this clueless? Why can't you see how this place is?" he felt sensible, "why are you so different?"

"…” [Name] stared at the ceiling, a blank but clear sadness overcoming his features, “wish I could know,”

As Jean retreated his body on the back of the chair, a sensible yet pity look fell over his dear friend. Back in Trost, those strange captivating eyes were lost. Jean sometimes imagined looking into a doll’s eyes— an abyss without a light. A dark corridor without exit. There were times he thought his friend was born unable to feel.

But his eyes changed. A harsh change made them sparkier— vivid. It was then, that his sadness, happiness, playful feelings were clearer to catch. 

Jean knew all about it.

His friend was sad when waking up— times where fogging nightmares or nonexistent dreams plagued his mind, making him feel useless.

His friend was happy when eating Beatrice’s breakfast— it reminded him of happier memories he could make instead of trying to reach the past.

His friend was relaxed when sleeping where he wanted— specially inside the woods. A peaceful slumber where Jean wished those times never ended.

His friend was angry when fighting his bullies— Jean always could see that fire in his eyes. It could have been scary, but being [Name], it was never scary.

He only saw tears once. And not those painful tears when headaches came— no. Tears for someone else in his dream; for a person yet to met.

His friend was lost in the world, but at the same time, he wasn't.

Jean sighed, tirelessly blinking. “…a shore, you said?”

I have read it and it’s awesome! (So are your other series)

Oh my thank youuu!!! 😭😭😭😭 im so happy! I love writing angst, hope i can write for all of you! ♡

Flower Curse | 3

[levi x male!reader x erwin]

this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease.

summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

t w o

After that horrible and bizarre moment, you were sitting across the room with Moblit, Erwin was sitting in front of Hange as she was behind of her desk sitting as well, looking at the blonde with seriousness. Moblit gave you water and helped you take off your jacket, because you were suddenly feeling exhausted at the sudden force of throwing up. Currently Erwin and Hange were talking about your current situation, but you really didn't pay any attention about it– you were too tired to listen.

Feeling the jacket off you made you sigh in relief; you wanted to strip right there. You felt like your clothes were suddenly suffocating you– Was the uniform that tight before? You weren't sure anymore. And as if Moblit could read your thoughts, while placing your jacket on a small desk, he said, “Maybe it would be a good idea to take off the harness as well. What do you think?”

“Yes, Moblit. Please,” you said –or rather begged– sounding pleading, only to make Moblit smile in an apologetic way and helped you. You sat down as Moblit take off your boots and stood up again so he could help you with the harness. You placed your hands on his shoulders, suddenly feeling dizzy so you didn't want to fall. He was turned back of your actions, but understood the cause of it when he saw your troubled face.

“Take it easy, you stood up to quickly. Just don't move and hold onto me, alright?” you nodded and tried to calm you down, hands still on Moblit’s shoulders. He began to take off the harness as gently as he could, suddenly feeling a strong gaze on him that made him... uncomfortable. And before he could turn his head, you spoke.

“Man, I feel like shit,” sighing and closing your eyes you tried to relax. “And this happened just a week before the expedition... I’m so lucky.”

“You have always been quite lucky, [Name]. Just like that one time with the abnormal or the other time with the black horse,” he slightly laughed hearing you sigh in irritation, remembering your near-death experiences, “these two situations could have been your death, but somehow you came out alive. That's why we call you the «The Luckiest Soldier of Humanity»”

“Well, yeah. But whoever came up with that nickname is an idiot. It sounds so ridiculous,” you sighed, “I hate the «of Humanity» bullshit, so absurd.”

“And I'm even luckier to get this unknown disease– if it's a disease.” You thought.

Finishing taking off the harness, Moblit placed it on the same desk and turned to you, “Whatever it is, I'm sure you will survive it. Just like you say, you are lucky most of the time.”

You only grunted, making the brunette softly laugh. “But I don't know if I will be lucky this time.” You thought.

You approached where Erwin was and sat next to him, trying to understand what they were talking about, but soon Hange looked at you and smiled.

“[Name]! I see you have a better face now! But stripping in front of people is quite reveling, you know!” she joked, grinning and furrowed her eyebrows, looking like a complete idiot.

Snorting, you replied, “Believe me, Hange. I want to take off all my clothes right now, but my decency is keeping me in rule.”

“Squad Leader Hange, I'm going to clean the... flowers?” Moblit said unsure, “I'm going to get the mop, I’ll be right back.” And before he could leave, Erwin called him.

“Berner,” they both looked at each other, “No word from this to anyone, understood?” the blonde said with an authority voice– usually his normal tone when he ordered something serious.

Moblit’s expression turned serious and replied, “Understood, commander,” and left.

“Alright, now,” you began, “What the hell I have?”

Hange’s expression turned serious and deep in thought, holding her jaw with her fingers. “I'm not really sure,” she hummed, “I've never seen this before... This happened today, right?”

At the question you shifted uncomfortably on your seat, making Erwin furrow his eyebrows with a questioning manner, “Did this happen before?” he asked, sounding... somehow irritated.

“Uhm... yes...?” you answered, sounding like a child getting caught on something they shouldn't have. Before anyone could say anything you bet them to it, “To my defense, I didn't throw up like this. I just coughed a petal three days ago. I thought I breathed it by accident, but it seems that isn't the case... hehe…”

That didn't calm down Erwin, judging by his irritation showing off. Pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, he said, “If I didn't find you at that exact moment, would you have told me?” he asked, referring at the incident on your office not too long ago.

Gulping, you decided to not lie to him– either if saying yes or no it wouldn't satisfy him, anyway. You just shocked your head, ashamed to look at him. Hearing him sighing in disappoint made you feel bad– he was your friend, your comrade. You were a horrible friend, making him feel like this.

“Throwing up flowers... flowers...” Hange said, trying to remember something about the problem at hand, ignoring your little conversation. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers, making the two of you turn at her, watching expectantly, forgetting about the awkward conversation.

She quickly stood up and approached her bookshelf. Looking at it, murmuring something inaudible she paced her fingers on the books, trying to find the one she was looking for. “What was the name of the book? Hanake?” she thought, moving her eyes at one book to another, until she found the one she was looking for, “Hanahaki Curse!” she yelled, taking the book on her hands and returning to her seat.

“Nahaka what?” you asked confused, looking as lost as Erwin.

“Hanahaki Curse. This book,” she holds the book so you both could see the front of it– just small letters were on it– the exact same title Hange said before. “Talks about the same thing you may have.”

Erwin looked somehow relieved, “So this is a medical book?”

At the question, Hange laughed nervously, making both of you farrow your eyebrows at her, suspiciously. “Well, it's a... children book.”

Blinking with no emotion in particular, you said, “A children book,” she nods, “A fairy tale. Something fictional,” you sighed, brushing your hand in your hair, “Oh man...”

Like always, Erwin tried to stay collected about the situation, placing a hand on your shoulder trying to calm you down, he looked at Hange and asked, “I believe you remember it because it's useful, right, Hange?”

She just nodded eagerly and explained, “This book talks about the same thing you have, [Name]. And I believe it can explain why you have it.” Now that made you interested.

“Okay, tell me why then.”

“The book begins about two kids, Darla and Barry. The little girl has affections for the boy, but Barry has no interest in her. They remain friends until their teenage years, with Darla still liking Barry–”

“Hange this is absurd. What the hell are you saying?” you interrupted her, looking irritated. Were you really stay here and hear this nonsense? Absolutely not. “This is something serious; I won’t read a book for children!”

“Now, [Name]. I believe Hange has an answer about what's happening to you, so be quiet and listen to her.”

Grunting irritability, you just sighed and nodded, and Hange returned to telling the story.

“Like I was saying…

Darla never felt different about Barry. But never told him how she felt, because she knew he didn't like her that way. Until one day, Darla saw Barry with another girl, sharing kisses and hugs. That sight made her heartbroken– crying, Darla went to her house, ran to her room and cried on the floor. Suddenly, she felt a strange sensation on her throat. First, it felt ticklish, making her softly cough. She thought nothing of it– but the sensation didn't go away. She began to cough harshly, feeling something on her throat– until the last cough she could sense whatever it was inside get out of her.

The unlucky girl spotted a white petal lying on the floor– but before she could think anything of it, the feeling of throwing up appeared.

She threw up flowers all over the floor. And not just white colored flowers; pink and yellow were mixed like a bucket. The unlucky girl only cried more, terrified for what she was feeling and seeing.

“What is all of this!? I–I'm scared!” she shouted, sobbing uncontrollably. All of the noises made her mother open the door of her room, stopping and watching the scene in front of her with a shocking face.

“Oh no... Darla, my dear Darla... not you...” Darla’s mother sadly murmured, approaching her daughter and kneeling beside her. Hugging her, the mother holds Darla’s head on her chest, lovingly.

The two of them just sit on the floor, surrounded by flowers. Both of them crying and only the mother’s reassurance words were heard. Time passed, now mother and daughter were sitting on the daughter’s bed.

“Mother, do you know what I have? Why do I throw up flowers? What is this?” the unlucky girl asked.

Her mother let out a sigh, “My Darla... I’ve something to explain. The thing you have- is called ‘Hanahaki Curse’,” seeing her daughter’s confusing face, she explained. “This... curse makes you throw up flowers. And the cause of that is because of something so silly.

When you love someone, and they don’t love you back you have a very small possibility to... be cursed. The curse it’s so rare to have; but you- you have it now. But hear me- no matter what, I’m by your side, my daughter.”

And with that, little Darla suffered by the flower curse. The unlucky girl never stopped throwing up flowers of different colors.

Darla never met Barry again after knowing the cause of the curse. She didn’t want to see the cause of it; she suffered enough on her own.

The unlucky girl lied on her bed staring at nothing in particular with her mother at her side. The girl’s lungs filled with flowers, making her unable to breathe.

Darla disappeared from the world with her mother at her side, just like she promised.”

Nobody dared to say a word after that. The silence in the room was so tense; the three of you could feel that very clearly. You were shocked, clearly. You only thought was if you were going to have the same fate as little Darla.

“Well that’s… very dark for a children book, uh?” you said, trying to get less anxious.

The blonde’s hand reached your shoulder in a comforting manner. You turned to see his usual neutral expression, but judging by his shoulders he was just as tensed by the current situation as you.

“Hange, does the book have an author? Something we can use to reach the person who wrote this?” Erwin asked.

Hearing the questions, the woman began to search for a name in the cover, the back... but there was no name. You now where in a high stress level at the situation, but she opened the book again, going at the very last page of it, and there was two words elegantly written on the center;

“Barry Ziegler”

She sighed in relief and looked at the two of you with one of her usual smiles, “We have a name! It’s better than nothing. We can look for him or at least, find someone with the same last name.”

“Yes, we could do that. But we don’t even know how old this book is. For all we know, this guy is dead or the name he gave is fake. This doesn’t give me much hope.” You stated, looking annoyed.

“We can’t think like that,” the blonde instantly said, “I’m going to find information of any ‘Barry Ziegler’ inside the walls. This shouldn’t be hard to do- after all, these walls aren’t that big.”

You just shrugged and nodded, feeling a little better than before. Somehow, Erwin’s words always made you comforted. The guy was commander after all; he had his way with words.

The three of you chatted a little of what to do next. Moblit came and cleaned the mess, then leaving when Hange told him to look for some records about the ’curse’, if there were any. After some minutes the chatter turned out more pleasant, talking about the cadets and the jokes you heard from them sometimes. Erwin left first, saying he had important things to do, but you stayed with Hange a little longer.

“It’s Levi, right?” she said with a serious tone, unusual for her.

You just nodded, looking ashamed. Hange took your hands, squeezing them reassuringly.

One tear came, and then another and another, now crying in silence in your friend’s presence.

You somehow knew this wasn’t going to get better.

But you hoped you were wrong.

f o u r