I have read it and it’s awesome! (So are your other series)
Oh my thank youuu!!! 😭😭😭😭 im so happy! I love writing angst, hope i can write for all of you! ♡
ok... i don’t want to be rude or anything but... why can’t some authors clarify reader’s gender??? u____u
is it too hard to add a “female!reader” at the beginning? We just assume reader always wants to go by she? like i’m chillin reading an ‘x reader’ as gender neutral and BAM u thought wrong fool: “she” “her” “pussy” like bro.... just... c l a r i f y p l s and give me the choice of not wasting my time and get annoyed 😭
shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist
chapter ten — first day
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Standing with everyone else, looking straight without a hint of emotion. This was their first day as a soldier.
[Name] had matured— his eyes were gentle, but with the horror seen by them made them harder. His cheeks blushed a little by the sun— it was a hot day after all. And with the uniform on... ugh... He felt already soaked inside the jacket.
He could hear the yells from the instructor, shouting at some kid far away from his line. Even if he was far away, it seemed he was just besides him. [Name] bet the man could be heard to Wall Sina.
Deep in his thoughts, he didn't catch a certain pair of eyes looking at him curiously. But thanks to his instincts, he feel it, quickly making him look for them. He traveled his unusual eyes trough the line in front of him who were facing him, and finally, [Name] spotted a very tall guy with hazel eyes looking at him. But just when he meet his eyes, he blushed and averted his dull gaze.
"He is very tall..." [Name] thought, admiring his height. He thought maybe he was the tallest soldier around here. The teenager could tell he knew [Name] was watching him, because he began to sweat. Is the sun or is it me?
Hearing the instructor coming near, [Name] quickly looked straight. The man just walked by, until he saw [Name]'s form and began to shout at him immediately without mercy.
"You! Who the hell are you and from where?!"
Saluting, he shouted, "[Name] Knight, sir! From Shinganshina, sir!"
The tall man blinks when he takes a good look at the unusual eyes— and he remembers who he is instantly. He was the kid from the outside... He remembers that last name too well. A Knight, uh?
"And why the hell are you here, you maggot?!"
Without thinking much of it, a natural response left his lips, like an automatic reply or as if someone replied for him, "To free us, sir!"
"We'll see what a good for nothing like you would do against a titan, maggot!" He yelled, leaving him to go for another cadet. [Name] sighed, relieved he was gone. He wasn't a fan of being yelled or having to raise his voice.
" e —— ???? xxxx free!"
A migraine began to take effect on him, making a frown shift his gentle features. Not now, just wait a little more— it's almost over. But the headache didn't listen to the poor boy, and just began to hurt with more force. He gritted your teeth, bearing the pain. The sun didn't help his situation at all, too.
Thanks to the pain, [Name]'s mind was occupied on calming himself, making him lost any attention to other's peoples names or where the intimidating man was, and certainly, he didn't feel a pair of green eyes looking at him with surprise. When the headaches happened he ignored everything around him, specially when the pain was high. He didn't even noticed his friend getting head-butted by the instructor.
Somehow, [Name] noticed 'presentation time' was over by seeing all of the cadets walking off. Just, how much time has passed? Wait— where did he have to go?
Placing a hand on his head to control his headache, —that somehow worked— he heard someone approaching, making him turn just to see his friend Jean. He was frowning at him— was he worried?
"[Name]... again with the headaches?" He asked, gently placing a hand on his head, relieving a little pain feeling his warm hand, "maybe there will—"
Before he could finish, a new male voice interrupted him, along with three people quickly approaching both of them, "[Name]!!"
[Name]'s eyes immediately widened, "that voice..." Turning behind him, he meet with the determinated eyes he have always admired. They are alive!
Forgetting about the pain, [Name] tried to say something. But before any of the two of them could react, the brunette with green eyes have tightly hugged [Name], making both of them fall on the ground. But the amnesiac teenager couldn't feel any pain when he was overjoyed and happy— his friends were safe.
"[Name], we thought you were..." A gently voice could be heard, knowing very well who belonged it to. [Name] looks at the blond with soft blue eyes, who looks he's going to cry. "We didn't see you anywhere!"
The black haired girl makes Eren to stand by his disappointment, and quickly helps [Name] stand along. "We look for you when we could, but we never found you..." She says, looking at him as if she didn't believe he was there.. Her eyes looks gentle and soft, and a small smile appear on her delicate lips.
"Where the hell were you!?" The brunette angrily asked, surprising everyone by his outburst, "you didn't look for us, did you!?" Eren spoke with a different tone— he was upset. Mikasa and Armin looked at him in worry: the brunette always got mad when he thought about [Name] back then.
"I—I left as fast as I could with mom and... we got with the refugees and..." [Name] spoke shyly, not expecting such angry behavior this soon, "we went to Trost... and I lived there..." The amnesiac boy didn't find the words to reply back— just as he found his friends he felt fragile, feeling emotions at once.
"Did you think about us when you left?" He frowned, looking at is side feeling hurt, "to think I was worried you were... dead, and after all you—!"
"Hey!" Jean, who was pretty silent with the reunion, shout, getting their attention, shoved [Name] behind him, "[Name] saved his mom's and his' life first! At what you are so angry about?!"
"Aah?! And who the hell are you?!" Eren clenched his fists, not liking one a bit how easy he touched [Name]. This coward is [Name]'s friend?!
"None of your business, dumbass! But I won't stand here and hear your nonsense against him!" Jean could get protective over [Name], even if it wasn't that necessary. But seeing how this idiot wanted to make all of what happened his fault, that wasn't going to happen. He could see [Name] was troubled— he just reunited who the friends he thought were dead, but being pointed at while he was happy made him utterly upset.
"Eren!" Armin tried to calm him down, "[Name] is alive and with us again, aren't you happy?" Mikasa frowned, looking at Eren with concern. She could notice her brother had mixed feelings about finding [Name]— the ravenette knew his anger would disappear eventually, but he had to control it to not say hurtful things that could upset [Name]. But as Armin and she knew, he didn't think before speaking. Mikasa could notice [Name]'s frown from behind his friend— such a sad look that didn't belong.
Eren gritted his teeth, grunting. He knew he was being an idiot to make [Name] feel like this— but just as he saw him again... it made a mess with his feelings that he couldn't control well. At times like these it was better to walk off before hurting more. He gave one last pained look at [Name], "I— See you around, [Name]." He left, clearly mad. Armin gave one last tight hug to [Name] with Mikasa.
"Don't mind him, [Name]. He's happy to see you, you know? He's just... very sentimental as you know," Armin tried to laugh it off awkwardly.
"I guess... It's understandable," [Name] still had his sad look— he was really happy to see his friends again, but the feeling of guilt overcome his joy. Was it wrong to put his family first?
"I'm happy to see you again, [Name]." Mikasa gently spoke, smiling at him, "these past years had been difficult, but I'm glad you are alright with Miss Beatrice. We... we lost mom."
"And grandpa too..."
[Name] gulped. Carla, the pretty woman that always opened her doors for him, was gone too. Armin's grandpa was gone too. He couldn't understand how they were feeling after loosing their family like that. "W-What about Dr. Jäger...?"
She sighs, "we don't know," she looks at [Name] with a cryptic expression, "but seeing you here makes me glad you are safe."
"I'm glad I could see you again too," he attempted to smile, trying to make himself better. He hugged Mikasa and Armin, "I really missed you."
Armin laughed happily and Mikasa smiled warmly. Jean stood there awkwardly, frowning by what just happened before. The trio eventually finished the hug, pulling away. Both friends waved at [Name], saying they were going to unpack their things and find Eren. [Name] waved at them with a smile, feeling slightly better.
"You didn't tell me your friend was an idiot," Jean spoke, still angry.
"I didn't think he would be like that... but I guess he's still sentimental." [Name] sighs, rubbing his forehead, "at least my headache is gone."
Jean sighs heavily, already in a bad mood in the first day. Patting [Name]’s head, he spoke, “already the first day and I already hate someone.”
”Eren is not that bad. He’s just... reckless.” They began to walk to the dormitory.
“In other words, a dumbass.” [Name] chuckles, agreeing a little, "also, that girl is pretty..."
As they get into the dormitory, many of the people who were already there began to pick their beds. [Name] didn’t exactly care with who he had to share his bed with, but Jean certainly did. His friend hurriedly tried to find free shared beds, but he couldn't find any. Jean cursed mentally, grunting as he realized he wouldn't share a bed with [Name]. Could he be more unlucky today?
While Jean got angry in silence, [Name] already choose a free bed and began to unpack his stuff. Yawning, the boy couldn't wait to sleep already.
"Hey! Looks like we are sharing!" A freckled boy spoke to him, making him turn. He had dark hair and by just looking at his eyes there was no malice— only kindness. [Name] nodded, not knowing what else to say. Fortunately, the freckled male didn't back off, "I'm Marco Bodt, nice to meet you!"
"[Name] Knight. Nice to meet you, Marco."
Just as both unpacked their things Marco did most of the chatter. [Name] didn't mind him— his voice was soft and gentle. He liked hearing him, and the freckled didn't mind [Name]'s silence, so that was nice. It seemed he had notices [Name]'s unusual eyes too, but didn't say anything about them.
Jean's absence didn't last long. The irritated teenager found [Name], and as he saw his friend already being so comfortably with someone made him narrow his eyes in suspicion. He approached him, "[Name], you found a bed?"
Both of them turned. [Name] nodded, sitting on the bed as he stretched. "He's Marco."
"A-Ah! Hello!" Marco smiled, and Jean only stared at him with narrowed eyes. It was clear miles away this boy didn't mean harm— but why would Jean even care about that?
"Hi," Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck trying to calm himself, "I'm Jean."
"Uhm— what you said back there..." Marco spoke, not sure if to proceed but did nevertheless, "you were really honest."
"Hmn?" [Name]'s brow raised, "what happened?"
"You didn't see?" [Name] shook his head, noticing Jean's blush, "he got... well, he got head-butted by the instructor."
"He did?" [Name] couldn't hold his chuckle. Just imagining his friend being attacked by Shadis was funny, shame his migraine didn't let him see such show. "What did you say to get that?"
"It's not important anymore!" Jean yelled, clearly embarrassed, "anyways! We should change already— dinner will be in some hours so..."
"Oh, right! It's nice we don't have to do anything on our first day..."
[Name], already irritated by the tightness of his uniform, stood up from the bed and began to undress himself without any care.
Both boys noticed his actions, blush appearing on their faces immediately.
"H-Hey! [Name], what are you doing?!" Jean spoke trying to stop him, but only receiving a slap on his wrists.
"Undressing." He answered, unbuttoning his shirt.
Jean realized this was going to be until the end of their training— as the trainee corps had limited expenses, it was clear there was no "dressing room" or private showers. Every man and woman had to share and see each other without clothes, so their shyness had to go away forcefully.
Just the thought of seeing [Name] in the shower made him blush. Covering his mouth, Jean thought wasn't that bad after all...
Marco averted seeing [Name] taking his pants off, crimson appearing on his face. He tried to shake off the awkwardness of the situation, "w-well! W-Where are you two f-from?!"
Jean and Marco tried their best to hold a conversation without seeing [Name] changing without any care in the world. When he finished, the amnesiac teenager laid on the bed and told them to wake him up when it was time for dinner. Marco was surprised seeing him asleep in about five minutes, but Jean had explained [Name]'s favorite hobby was sleeping every time he could, so it was normal he fell asleep quickly. The freckled boy was rather impressed.
From not too far away a brunette and a blonde saw everything with a blush on their faces.
"Idiot...!"
"W-Well! He really is the same, ah?"
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"[Name], wake up. It's time."
The amnesiac boy grunted, frowning as he opened his eyes lazily, spotting Jean. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stretched and yawned. Jean knew when [Name] woke up, it would be five or even ten minutes of him being semi-awake, so he had to take care of him in a sense of procuring to watch over his steps, where he was going or stop him before he could hurt himself. It was pretty ridiculous how sleepy his friend could be, but it didn't make him less adorable.
"Is he really awake?" Marco asked, looking at how somnolent [Name] looked. Was he really that tired before?
"Nope, but he'll manage."
[Name] stood from the bed, staggering a little. He took Jean's hand, but the other, nervous and embarrassed of the comment he would get from the others guys slapped his hand away. The amnesiac boy stared at him in confusion for the sudden rejection— strange. Jean, blushing, already began to walk to the dining hall to hide his blushed face.
Why did I do that?! Clenching his fist, Jean was clearly feeling embarrassed— he knew since before getting here this would be a problem. It seemed his pride was more important. "L-Let's go already!" [Name] tilted his head, yawning. He followed Jean, with Marco behind.
The freckled boy didn't understand what just happened at first, and stayed in silence. He took care of where [Name] was stepping on— the teenager almost went to sleep again while walking and almost hit himself with a wall. Can he sleepwalk...? Marco hoped he didn't.
When they got to the dinning hall it was pretty full, but they were just in time. Marco, seeing that [Name] looked still sleepy, told him to wait on a table while Jean and him returned with food. He happily agreed, instantly sitting on the nearest table, placed his arms on it and rested his head on them. Was he looking for the right time to sleep again?
"Is it normal that he sleeps so much?" Marco asked, taking two pieces of bread, two plates of soup and water.
"Don't know normal, but usually. I think the most he has slept was three days."
"W-What?!"
"Yep. Sometimes is impossible to wake him up— normally his mom would take care of this, but as he is here..." He sighs, "that won't be any good."
"Three days..." Was that even possible? Wasn't Jean exaggerating? "How normally has that happened?"
"I didn't really take track of it. But I noticed when he got bad headaches, and I mean bad, he fell asleep for some days."
"Headaches...?"
The time they were in line Jean explained [Name] state until they finished and returned to their table. The teenager still remained asleep, until Jean shook his shoulder to wake him up.
"Eat before it gets cold— it already is, somehow." He sit in front of [Name], and Marco besides him.
[Name] rested his chin on the palm of his hand, lazily taking bites to the bread. His eyes spotted his childhood friend Eren being surrounded by other people. He waved to Mikasa and Armin, receiving a wave and a serene smile from the ravenette and a grin from the blonde. It seemed Eren had already stated he was from Shiganshina, because [Name] could hear plenty of questions about how the titans looked like.
Jean was listening, and Marco, who grew more curious about it went to Eren's table to listen with the others.
It seemed a question hit a nerve. [Name] could only see Eren covering his mouth as if he wanted to vomit— after all, what happened to him was traumatic. He lost his mother, and who knows where his father was.
Jean's eyes shifted from Eren to [Name] respectively, noticing the worried expression his friend carried.
Just hearing the brunette speaking about joining the survey corps like [Name] made him more irritated than he already was. Nevertheless, he didn't let it show and preferred having some fun. "Wait a moment, are you crazy? Did you just say you want to join the Survey Corps?"
The brunette frowned at him, even more when he saw [Name] in the same table with him, "what about it? You are the one who wants to join the Military Police to take it easy, aren't you?"
[Name] just watched in silence, wondering what exactly Jean wanted to do.
Jean smirked, "What can I say? I'm honest. I prefer being that than try to act tough when in reality you are scared shitless." The comment seemed to annoy Eren, seeing him stand up with a glare directed at Jean. The taller teenager didn't seem bothered in the slightest— he stood up too and both teenagers approached each other. But whatever they wanted to do was interrupted by the sound of the bell, signalizing dinner time was over.
The taller male just smiled unbothered, "well, my bad. It wasn't trying to judge the way you think," he held his hand in a weak and fake attempt to release the tension, "let's let it go."
"Yeah... I guess I overreacted," It was clear to [Name] that Eren didn't accept the fake apology, seeing him just slapping Jean's hand. He seemed to leave, but before he did he looked at [Name] as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he didn't. Clenching his jaw, he averted [Name]'s prying gaze and left with a frown.
Would he be angry with me forever? [Name] stared at the table, upset. Mikasa and Armin weren't angry with him—and even if they told him Eren's anger wouldn't last that long he didn't fully believe them. Maybe he should speak to him... but how?
It seemed the time he had with Jean these two years had made him more sensitive about friendship, in some way. After all, he did felt some guilt about what happened. But what he could have done? He was just a kid.
"You okay?" Marco's gentle voice is heard, looking at his friend in worry.
"Yeah. I'm just... sleepy," he rubbed his eyes, "where's Jean?"
"Outside... I think someone's with him." He looked at the door, seeing Jean talking to a short guy.
[Name] didn't feel too lively now, and the only thing he thought about was laying in bed. He guessed he had to get up early in the morning tomorrow. Standing up, he took the last bite on his bread, not feeling hungry anymore. "I want to sleep already... I'm heading back."
"A-Ah, I'm going with you!"
Just as he wanted to leave, he bumped onto someone else, instantly hearing a shaky apology. [Name] blinked, lifting his gaze to meet someone incredibly taller than him.
It looked like the taller guy recognized him from somewhere, seeing his widening eyes.
[Name] knew those eyes.
"Ah— you are the one with pretty eyes from back then. And the one from when Shadis was yelling at us..." He spoke with his dull voice, not noticing some questioning gazes he got for the compliment. The brunette blushed, stuttering. "You are taller."
"You know him?" Marco asked, looking at both of them with prying eyes.
"Yes. We met in the refugee." He looks at him, "I never got your name."
"Uhm, B-Bertholt!" He seemed shy.
"Nice to meet you." He smiled, tilting his head.
"Bertholt! We—" A more deep voice came trough, but stopped when he saw company. It was a blonde and buffed guy— [Name] remembered him too. Seemed he did too, because his expression was the same as the brunette's, "Y-You are from back then!"
"There was someone else with you, wasn't it? Is she here too?"
"A-Ah, well, yes. She's around." The blonde smiles, "nice to see you again. I'm Reiner, by the way."
They both were going to the dormitory too, so Marco and [Name] stick with them. When they saw Jean outside they invited him to head back with them, but he had told them he was going to stay a little longer outside.
The four teenagers began to head back, and as expected, Reiner and Marco did the most of the talking, while Bertolt and [Name] quietly stayed in the back. The amnesiac boy looked carefully at the brunette, as if he was inspecting him. That only made Bertolt nervous.
He took Bertolt's hand, surprising the brunette. [Name] let out some hums and ah's, "you are huge. How did you get so tall...?" He compared his hand with the other's, looking at the difference while the brunette's face went red by the touch.
"U-Uhm, thanks...?" He said unsure— was that a compliment...?
"Tell me your secrets." Sparks appeared in [Name]'s eyes as he tightly hold Bertolt's hand. The brunette began to sweat, feeling shy and awkward by the touch.
"Uhm... Reiner..."
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Just as they got to their destination, [Name] wasted no time in throwing himself on the bed. Laying on his stomach, the pillow where he pressed his face on made his voice get muffled, "good night" he tried to say, ignoring any sort of conversation somebody wanted to have with him.
The three teenagers just saw him. He really was either lazy or just uninterested about everything.
"He sure likes to sleep a lot..." The freckled boy said, impressed. He knew it would be a pain to wake him up in the morning tomorrow.
The blonde laughed, "let's see who wakes up first— [Name] or Bertolt? Looks like you two have something in common." The comment received a grunt from his friend.
The three spoke a little bit before going to sleep, even when Jean got back. He wasn't surprised seeing his friend already asleep, and remembering he wasn't sharing bed with him made him grumpy before going to bed. Unluckily, his past thoughts about how handling [Name]'s touchy behavior made him pretty awake all night. Was it really a problem? Did he really pay attention of what others think about their relationship? Well, if they thought they were in one it was even better, wouldn't be? Even more if that jackass Jaeger knew about it. Just remembering the looks he gave them made him snicker. Unfortunately, that wouldn't matter if [Name] himself didn't feel anything romantically for him.
Fucking hell. Can this be more complicated?!
L̸͔͇̰̬̆͜ơ̵̝̰̓̋̎̓̋̾̇͘o̸͔͖̯̟͍̓͛̍̔̿͘͝͝͠k̷̨͎͖͎͍̞͗̊͑͆̃̐͗̏͛́s̸͙͆̿͒̾͐͝ ̵͍̄͋̈́̒͝ͅl̸̨̉͗̒̿̀̌̃̈́̍̐͘̚̚͝i̴͖̮̼͓̤̼̼̬͚̥̥͉͈̬͛̒͗̚͠k̵̡̢̮̺̠̊͂͠ͅͅe̵̡̖̲̼̺̝̘͔̖̖̞͙̽̉͒̍̂̓̈́̄̽̍͆͠͝͠ ̷̡̭̟̼̭̙̠̙̮̹̞̈͗̾̈́͝͠ẅ̵̛̛̲̲̬͎̘̭̜̲̬͔̞́̎̐̒̋͌̈́̀͛̇͑̄ͅͅę̴̛̝̯͇̼̹͛̚ ̸̛̗̏̽̆̀̋̀̎̽̐̐̚̕͘͠a̴̡͔͔̱͖̤̦̣̺̫̠͑̈́̀ͅŗ̸̲̝̣̹̻̺͖̲̠̿̾̈̂̓ͅe̵̲͙̭̺̥̝͔̹̣̮̤̱͇̽̂̇̔̑̂͑͑̇̏͛͝͝ ̸̲̫̎͂̄̏̀͐̋͐̽͑̕͘͝r̷͇̞̣͍̱̳̗̳̱̞̗̉́̎̋̈̓̔͊̍̒͑e̸͖̥̠̭̰̩͂̓̋̉̌̄̋̂̑̓̈́̽͘u̵̧̧͎̹̱̜̥̫͓͕̞̓́̀̐̀̀̀͑͘̚n̶̝̗̟͠i̴̛͓̯̘̜̻͉̔͛t̴̨̧̗̬̯͖̺̀̃͂̒̃͂̃̍́̚͠͠ê̸̦͍̜̮͐d̷̨̨̓ͅ.̸͚̯̼̎́̈́̃̍͊̃̋͘ͅ
i just read the entirety of reiss mental asylum and i'm in love skfhtuebfo
im so happy to read this!! 😭😭 i've been receiving a lot of kind comments, but sometimes i can't stop myself from thinking the story is boring and flat...💦💦 but reading your comment really makes me happy. thank you for reading! and very sorry for the wait- life has been pretty upsetting lately, but i hope i can get my ass to write soon! i have a lot of ideas for it. c: 🌻 stay tuned—!🌻💕
【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. Somnophilia at the end! masterlist
notes: someday i will rewrite this whole cringe thing and feel better about it, LOL. but i hope there's enjoyement in this chapter.
13
「lazy afternoons」
“Yes, Porco, I’m okay.” [name] chuckled softly. “I will stay over a friend’s house, so there’s no need to worry about me.”
Porco snorted loudly, obviously making fun of his lie. [name] pouted at such reaction. “A friend’s house? Exactly who? You have no friends, you loser."
”H—Hey! I do have friends!!” He felt childish, and he could tell Porco was having fun by proving him he was a lonely loser. “I have many!!”
”Really? Haven’t seen you go out a single day without the same fucking guy.”
"They are just... secretive. AND busy!"
"Busy... of course." Porco's tone changed, but [name] couldn't put more attention thanks to his migraine. "If everything goes well here, we'll have a talk, you and me. It's important."
"That sounds serious... is something going on?"
"Just... take care of yourself in that disgusting place, man. Tell Victor—"
"Vincent!"
"Whatever his fucking name is, to stay with you. With what you told me, I..." Porco couldn't continue. [name] heard some grunts on the other line— was he embarrassed?
[name] grinned. "I care about you too, Porco."
"Shut up. I'm hanging up." [name] could tell he was flustered, but silenced his laugh.
"See you soon!"
"Lock your doors and windows."
"Will do."
‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿
After the call ended, [Name] let out a grunt. He hid his head within his covers as he remembered Mike’s words about him getting sick. The man was a witch—or maybe a wizard? Either way, he was right. Or at least, his nose told him the future, somehow.
[Name] hadn’t felt dandy when he got to his apartment the night before. He knew getting out of the car by himself wasn’t possible, and Levi, knowing this, helped him as he did before.
He had a bad stomachache and an urge to throw up again; but thought a good night's rest was enough to wake him up and make him feel better. Unfortunately, the moment his alarm interrupted his sleep, he felt the worst way possible.
He also had a fever. He was 100% sure. The cushion was already disgustingly wet from his sweat, along with his pillow, but his sudden weak body didn’t let him get up. Not even when he felt the need to puke. So poor [Name] had to stay put and try to calm himself if he didn’t want to make a disgusting mess in his room. He didn't know how much time had passed since then.
Even if his whole body felt weak and disgusting, [Name] tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Yet, the moment he got up, he almost fell— if it weren’t for his nightstand, his face would have been kissing the floor, with blood being a plus. It was then that he accepted his defeat and called Margaret to notify her of his absence. She had replied, saying she had been waiting for his call since Mike mentioned his condition yesterday. The poor sick just sighed, thanked her, apologized, and hung up.
He was ready for another bad sleep when the phone on the nightstand rang. His eyes couldn’t identify the caller since his vision was a bit blurry, but answered blindly. The moment the voice in the other line spoke, [Name] miraculously surpassed an embarrassing yelp from coming out.
“[Name], it’s Erwin. Good morning, first of all. I’ve been notified of your absence for today. Is everything alright?”
“O—Oh, uhm, y—yes! Ah—! Sorry, good morning!” It was obvious [Name] wasn’t in the right mind. He couldn’t think clearly, and his head felt like it was burning. His words slurred a bit. “I just got a bit of a fever— nothing I can’t handle, heheee…” What a fast man Erwin was— did he call him the moment Margaret notified him?
”Is that so? How are you feeling?”
”Everything is good! I’m fffine, really!”
There was a moment of silence on the other line, making [Name] a bit anxious. Was he angry? Upset? Did the think this was a lie?
“I see. Also, don’t worry about today’s schedule. Everything’s covered, alright?”
“O—Ok… and, uhm… sorry about today… I didn’t meaan to get sick…”
[Name] heard a chuckle from the other line. ”Don’t worry about that, [Name]. It’s not your fault— something like that can be rearranged when you feel better, so don’t overthink it.”
After saying goodbye, [Name] let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding.
The silence filling his room let his mind wander about the frightening man. He had felt the intense gaze on him everywhere he went. The sick male wanted to believe something else but a feeling of desire filled those blue eyes. The thought only caused him to grip the bedsheets harder, his face feeling warmer and his thoughts messy. He wanted to turn a blind eye to it, but it was too obvious. The man was bold!
But… would it be wrong, though? To accept the date fully? At the moment, it felt like an obligation—a must. [Name] didn’t feel particularly happy about such a thing. Neither when Zeke wanted to use him to do such dirty play to Erwin. Now, it didn’t feel that bad; it was just embarrassing. He laughed light-headedly as he pictured Erwin on a date with him—maybe eating strawberry cake? or just chuckling at whatever they were talking about…
The imaginary moment lulled him slowly, blinking lazily at the ceiling. Maybe a good sleep in another place would make him feel better…
But a knock on his door interrupted him, startling him. The sound only made him grunt— he didn’t want to get up… but he did nevertheless. Of course, as his mind wasn’t in the right state, he took his blanket with drawings of frogs with him. He breathed heavily as he tried not to stumble too much. When he got to the entrance, he opened the door right away while his mind ignored how Porco scolded him about how he had to look into the peephole first before answering the door. Living in this godforsaken apartment was dangerous; serial killers would love to pick a stupid victim here, he said.
He blinked lazily, not really recognizing who he was staring at. Until he abruptly stood straight with a yelp, realizing it was Levi at his door, looking as happy as ever. [Name] couldn’t be more embarrassed by how he looked right now: a blanket with cartoony frogs on it, his oversize T-shirt with his favorite cartoon, and his shorts. His hair was a mess, his face was warm, and his eyes fought to stay closed— it was more to say that his bruises were on display too.
Levi, amused by the display, raised a brow. “It looks like nose man was right.”
Still, [Name] didn't know what else to say. He stood there, dumbfounded.
“Are you making me stay here all day or what? Have some manners.” The ravenette spoke in irritation, but with no malice. After all, it was known by now that his scolding was just for fun. Well... sometimes. This was enough to wake [name] up from his embarrassing episode. He quickly opened the door with incoherent mumbling and stood aside, letting Levi inside.
He felt dizzy; what he said sounded more as if he was barely keeping it together. “I—I didn’t expect you here!” He cringed at his own wording, trying to save himself: “I mean, I don’t mean you can’t come in! It’s just that I— Weeell—”
“I didn’t expect myself here either, but since we all know you don’t know a thing about self-care, here I am." The ravenette spoke sternly, his eyes narrowing into a sharp critical gaze as he observed the apartment.
“Buuuut… There was no neeeed…” The amount of talking made him even dizzier, as he stumbled backwards a little bit. Levi just raised a brow, expecting another lie.
“Stop being stubborn and sit down.” The ravenette placed some plastic bags on the table and emptied it. He took out a canned soup, and [Name] could smell fresh vegetables from the other bag.
He stared dumbfoundedly at the contents, then at Levi, then at the bags, then at the man again. The ravenette stared him back and spoke as if he was talking with an idiot: “You don’t have anything in your fridge.”
[Name] stayed in silence, processing the words from him. Then, he stood straight as he stared in embarrassment, eyebrows furrowing. “How do you know that?!”
“Because that’s you.”
[Name] didn’t know if to take that as an offense, so he avoided the ravenette’s gaze and looked defeated.
Levi didn’t care, it seemed, since he changed the subject. “What have you been doing before I got here?”
“Hmn… nothing…?” [Name] sighed and blinked lazily. “I wanted to take a shower, since I’m all sweaty… but I didn’t have any energy, and I thought I would feeell—”
“Oh, you will,” Levi stated, while crossing his arm as he tried to think, “you will get that shower. You look like a pig.”
“You are meaaaaan…” it wasn’t as if [Name] was in his right mind anyway to think of what he said, “I’m going to fall… I can’t go… and I feel sick,” he tightened the froggy bedsheets around him even more— he just wanted to fall asleep again.
“No.” Levi spoke sternly, harshly taking the cover off of [Name], causing him to gasp. “You will get that shower, so better get up and show me where the bathroom is before I take the sink to shower you.”
The ravenette took [Name] from the back of his shirt, forcing him to stand up. [Name] couldn’t help but comply, secretly glad he didn’t have to walk alone anymore as he guided Levi to the bathroom. It could seem like a careless action or touch by Levi, but he was sure [Name] wouldn’t fall even if he tripped, since the grip on his collar was strong enough.
He just didn’t want to touch sweat.
Levi was a bit grateful the bathroom was in decent shape after seeing such living room. It was small, with some corners and part of the sink and bathtub colored in oxidation thanks to the time. The mirror had some marks on it, along with the flooring having some ruptures. In Levi's mind, he couldn't stop repeating how horrible this place was. Or rather, how disgusting this whole building was.
He ordered [name] to steady himself with the sink while he filled the bathtub with not-too-warm water. Complying with a soft okay—! [name] allowed Levi to work, a little embarrassed when he noticed Levi’s narrowed eyes glaring at how slowly the water came in. If he was bothered or irritated, he didn't voice it, nor did [name].
In whatever silence they were in, Levi broke it off with a blunt order as he returned to his spot beside [name], taking his collar again. "Take your clothes off."
"U—Uh..?! That's sooo straightforward!!" raising his voice, [name] could feel his face getting warmer. "I—I can't do that in front of youu...!"
"Then should I throw you fully clothed in the water? Or should I undress you myself?"
[Name] felt a little bit of dread at the thought of Levi letting go of him. If he did, [name] didn't trust himself to remain standing.
"O-Okay, okay! Just... please turn around," he said his request with as much gentleness as he could have, eyeing Levi with a pleading look. The ravenette frowned as he stared at the sick idiot for a couple of seconds with cryptic eyes before giving in. Sighing in relief, [name] used Levi's shoulders to steady himself as he undressed clumsily. A few times [name] tightened his grasp on Levi's when tripping with his own clothes, only noticing his strength when the ravenette grunted or let out a remark.
"D—Don't turn around yet! Just... step backwards a little bit, pleease..." Carefully, [name] stepped inside the bathtub with a hum as his skin met the tepid water. It was just then, with water just under his chest as he hugged his legs, that he realized how hot he was. He involuntarily sank his whole body into the water, humming at the now-comforting temperature. He quickly retreated to his original stance when he remembered Levi was waiting for him. "...okay, you can turn around..."
"Finally." Levi took a small stool that was behind the sink and placed it beside the bathtub, sitting down. He rolled up his sleeves and took the shampoo, placing some on his hands. "Close your eyes," he commanded before rubbing the shampoo on [name]'s head, massaging the scalp.
It was actually relaxing on [name]'s part. He thought Levi would be rougher, but his hands were gentle. He could hear himself let out a content hum while his shoulders eased and he rested his chin on his knees.
“Bend over a bit.” Levi asked in a gentle tone this time, taking the soap. Just when [Name] obeyed and Levi was ready to lather him up, he noticed a lengthy burn scar on [Name]’s back, more so on the left side. It didn’t look… severe per se— boiled water, perhaps? Levi could tell fire didn’t cause it.
Whoever it was or whatever caused it, Levi continued to bathe [Name] with other thoughts in mind. It seemed the idiot had forgotten, since he didn’t say a thing about his silence.
“Sorry you haave to do aaall of this, Levi…” [Name]’s voice cut his dark thoughts off. “I’m very sorryyy,”
This time, it was Levi who sighed. “I told you yesterday, didn’t I, idiot? If I don’t do it myself, I will be in a bad mood all fucking day. And I have enough with those shitty glasses at work.”
[Name] giggled, “a mooore of bad mood?”
“Don’t get smart with me.” Levi warned him, but he didn’t sound hostile.
[name] talked about everything and anything. He looked content even if Levi gave hums or half answers when being asked something. At some point, [name]'s voice got lower and lower, until he fell silent. The ravenette was unsure if he had fallen asleep, but seeing his shoulders go up and down slowly made him sure.
Just seeing him like this, in this godforsaken place, rotting away... made him feel something he didn't want to say out loud. He just felt irritation.
[name] seemed asleep. Before waking him up, Levi gently caressed the scar on his back and wondered the reason for this act of dominance. Confusion, or perhaps anger, danced in his mind—not exactly for the scar per se.
He retreated his touch and got up, speaking louder to wake [name] up.
"Oi. Wake up. You can't sleep yet." As he took a towel, he signaled him to stand up to dry his body. He noticed how groggily the [hair color]-haired stood up, with eyes closing every two seconds and not even complaining about being seen naked this time. Levi quickly wrapped [name]'s body without much of a glance. His arm went around [name]'s waist to guide him out of the bathroom and to his room, as [name] vaguely told him where it was.
Surprisingly, his room wasn't a mess. Everything seemed in order and clean, to Levi's somehow relief. Levi asked him for clean clothes as he helped [name] sit down on his bed, but [name] was unable to answer because of his sleepy state. The ravenette grunted as he snapped his fingers in front of [name]'s face, making him jump in surprise and barely waking him up.
"Clothes... Ah! Right there, Levi." The ravenette opened the wardrobe and took the first thing he saw, which was another oversized T-shirt with, this time, a picture of a fat cat, and a pair of shorts. He couldn't stop himself from raising his brows in amusement at such choice of designs, almost wanting to make a remark about it. Yet, it wouldn't be as rewarding to see [name]'s groggy state acting stupid like his normal self. He threw the shirt over [name]'s head, the sick completely out of it to even complain about it.
Levi crossed his arms. "Answer—should I dress you or are you capable?"
"Mhm...? Oh, yeah... I caan..." [name] yawned, lazily taking the shirt. Levi had never seen such clumsiness before as he observed how the idiot missed the biggest entrance for his head to one of the arm’s. And then he looked pretty content about being trapped in the smallest hole, as if he had done a splendid job.
“You look stupid.” That was the only statement Levi could spit out before helping him with the t-shirt. His next objective was the shorts, but [Name] seemed to quickly snap out of his dazed and quickly stutter slurred words Levi couldn’t understand, but could decipher by [Name]’s stupid, embarrassed expression. As always, he asked him to turn around.
“You need to eat.” Levi stated as [Name] finished, turning to him once again.
“I want to sleep, Levi.” The sick idiot tried to lay down on the bed, but Levi’s grip on his shirt stopped him.
“Before that, you will eat.”
“But I’m sleepy…” [Name] tried to ‘charm’ Levi by blinking and staring pathetically. The ravenette narrowed his eyes.
It didn’t work. “But I don’t care. Get up.”
All of this felt like Levi was taking care of a child. Or perhaps a cat. A clumsy, useless cat whose life was only to destroy things and be a nuisance.
[Name] complied. Although this time he didn’t try to not be an annoyance, because his body felt heavier and his words didn’t make sense. Levi knew he needed sleep, but he couldn’t let him, still. Or he just didn’t want to. He couldn’t deny that painful, tired face made him feel better.
He instructed [Name] to patiently wait on the couch, since at least he had some mercy on him and didn’t let him wait on the chair while Levi chopped some vegetables for the food.
The sounds of the old TV and the low snores from [Name]’s filled the room, leaving Levi in a barely peaceful moment.
As he put the ingredients into the pot where he had filled it with the soup, he went to sit on the chair while observing [Name], who waited for the food to be ready.
The idiot stayed asleep, with no care or worry about who was with him. Has anyone broken in? Levi wondered.
The lock looked cheap and easy to break, but Levi instantly knew this idiot would open the door before looking, even if he was in his sane mind. A strong lock or a fancier building wouldn’t change that.
If Erwin hadn't taken a liking to him, where would he be? Dead inside a dumpster, maybe. Or perhaps in a job barely making the minimum wage. Or suffering under someone’s orders. Well, it wasn’t as if his situation was any better, in such a filthy place. Erwin had his reasons to hire him, but he didn't share them. What he couldn't hide from Levi was the acts of devotion he had for the assistant; how his blue eyes stared with such... affection? No. Erwin wasn't like that. Something vicoius hide beside that caring-boss facade.
Speaking of that, who was this guy? Levi felt even more disgusted by the place as he took another look around. This whole building was rotting. Either way, Levi could observe [name]’s attempt to ‘hide’ the mess—pictures. One with him and friends? Perhaps family; a younger [name] with a dog; another picture of him, a guy looking irritated with a black-haired girl... Pretty ordinary pictures.
There were a few small plants, too. A book on the table beside the couch; keys hanging on the wall—were those small paintings? Levi could distinguish between what seemed to be the ocean and a sunset; in another painting, there were frogs in a pod.
[Name] was just like he imagined: a mundane person that he wouldn't usually take an interest in. How could he? This clumsy guy was easy to control, easy to overpower, had naive ideas, was dense... Then why this sudden attention? To someone so insignificant? He could understand Erwin's motives and even that four-eyes son of a bitch, but not his own. Levi found this irritable.
Maybe he liked to imagine how he would tangle his fingers between [name]'s hair, seeing his expression of satisfaction only for him to pull and see that face of being hurt: that pout, teary eyes, that slight frown meaning that he's going to cry... Or just harshly grab that jaw to hear him squeak once he takes his hand away to see the marks he made on that pretty face.
That face…
Levi narrowed his eyes.
That stupid face.
The reminder of the food interrupted his nightmarish thoughts. He went to check and realized it was ready. Without any permission, he took a bowl from the drawers—which didn’t have much—which, particularly, was blue with painted sheep. Levi couldn’t really believe how childish this guy was—hmn? Was that a mug with painted cats…?
Levi served the food. Even when he made lots of noise, the sick idiot didn't even move. The caretaker got in front of him and stared him down—[name] looked exhausted. His expression wasn't a comfortable one*; his body looked tense, and he was sweating.
He looked disgusting.
“Wake up.” Levi grabbed the front of his shirt with no gentleness.
[Name] barely woke up groggily, with his eyes barely opening and closing. From his mouth came words with no meaning, not even pying attention for the man.
Levi made him sit down while he ignored his pleas for him to stop. “Food’s ready. Wake the hell up.”
“Buuuut… I’m asleep…”
“Now you’re not. Get up.” [name] resisted. Levi gritted his teeth, and in his eyes reflected an anger that made [name] shiver. “Get the fuck up, or I’ll punch you until you die.”
“Ok, Okay! I’mm uup—!” Even with slurred words and a weak mind, he knew Levi didn’t make jokes. The thought of Levi acting like a beast made him gulp.
“Huh…” [name] looked at the table, and then at the couch. “Can I eat on the couch…? I don’t want to sit down…”
Levi tightened the grip on his collar. The sounds from the TV weren’t helping his temper much, since an annoying money TV game was on and fueled Levi’s annoyance with him.
The caretaker only pulled him forcibly. “No. You will sit like a civilized, mannered person, not like a pig. You will make a mess if you lay down.”
[name] didn’t dare say anything else. He sat down, like a good boy, and looked at his food. It looked good, actually. The nice aroma reminded him of the hunger in his stomach, as it immediately growled. [name] took the spoon, ready to eat it all.
But, just as expected, [Name] was unable to even feed himself accordingly. His sloppy movements, thanks to his sudden sleepiness, made him unable to hold the spoon properly, messing up the table and dirtying his face. Levi grunted, disgusted once again and more annoyed.
With a harsh move, he took the spoon from [Name]’s shaky hand, surprising him with it. But before Levi could feed him himself, he took a napkin and, with not much gentleness, cleaned [Name]’s face. Whimpers and soft complaints left [Name], but they went to deaf ears. Just as Levi finished, he clicked his tongue at his own exasperation.
“Open your mouth. I will feed you like the child you are.” Levi harshly took [name]'s jaw while he guided the spoon to his mouth. [Name] felt ashamed at first, desperately staring anywhere but Levi's eyes. The ravenette didn't like [name]'s childish behavior, as his grip on his jaw tightened. [name] jumped, opening his mouth with teary eyes. "Why don't you just obey? Always doing what you should not be doing." Levi's never softened his grip, perhaps as a punishment for being disobedient.
This kept going in silence until [name] felt full. A gentle touch on the hand with which Levi gripped his jaw was enough for his caretaker to abruptly stop and glare at him directly. [name]’s body tensed. "I'm—I'm full..." The stare he got was enough to make him shiver. Why were there times when he could speak to Levi normally, but in times like this, Levi unnerved him?
It didn't help when he stared like that. And the way he silently got up, took his bowl, and began doing the dishes didn’t help at all. Was he angry? Did he do something wrong?
Well, whatever. He felt sleepy again. The food had helped him feel comfortable, in some way.
“Dhankss for the food, Levaa…” His eyelids felt heavy.
A grunt was the only answer. [name] slowly began to drift away, dreams taking his mind. His arms rested on the table, letting his face rest on them. The soft silence from the dishwasher lulled him.
This time, Levi didn't say anything else. Instead, he knew he felt a hand caress his hair before shaking his shoulder, but he could be wrong, after all.
“You are asleep already.” Levi’s soft voice sounded far away, even if he was next to him. His strong arm wrapped around his waist, guiding him to the bathroom again.
[name] couldn't open his eyes anymore. His body felt automatic—he just felt Levi’s hands on his mouth, brushing his teeth gently. Did he dream all of this, actually?
He didn’t even remember walking to his bed, but he was already under the covers. Levi’s hand rested on his forehead, and [name] could barely see his usual frown. The sick idiot couldn't help but close his eyes again, but once he opened them again, something cold was resting on his forehead.
Levi said something, but [name] didn't understand.
“That feelss goood…” [name] smiled contently. He chuckled softly. “You are a great nurse, Mr. Levi.”
Levi didn’t like that, since he flicked a finger on [name]’s forehead. [Name] whined, the eyes of betrayal stared at Levi’s face, who glared back. [Name] pouted.
“Not nice…”
“I’m not nice.” Levi changed the cloth to a colder one, by [name]’s relief.
“You are.” He closed his eyes again.
“Not.”
“Just rough sometimes. But you are nice.”
Levi didn’t answer, but it was enough for [name] to look content. A frown formed on Levi’s face while he sat down beside [name]. He took the mug off the nightstand, which [name] didn’t even notice, and waited for the sick idiot to react. “Take a sip.”
“What’s…?”
“Ginger tea. Take. A. Sip.”
[name] chuckled like an idiot while Levi helped him sit down. Levi’s hand on his back and how he helped him take small sips brought him some type of comfort. The feeling of being taken care of was… nice, even if he knew Levi didn’t like the whole idea. Any other type of comfort in his life was Porco; he would be lying if he didn’t feel happy having someone so… caring and trustworthy around him. Knowing he was away made him sad.
“I… don’t waant mooore.”
Levi stopped without much to say, and left the mug in its previous place. He told [name] not to lay down since he could feel like vomiting again. He changed the cloth again before his hand stayed on his forehead to not let the cloth fall down. [name] opened his eyes tiredly to admire Levi. Well, what else could he do?
Levi sure was a handsome man. Or did he confess that to himself because he was not in his right mind? Well, he didn’t admit that out loud…
He felt lightminded; perhaps that’s why he felt bolder to say things.
“You are scary sometimes.” Even though the statement wasn’t a positive thing to say, [name] smiled like an idiot. “Veeeeery scary…”
Levi narrowed his eyes.
“Buut even scary, you look good!”
Levi didn’t react— not openly, at least. “And you look dumb, but that doesn’t give you any favors.”
[Name] chuckled. Levi helped him lay down again.
“I’m sleepy.”
Levi removed the cloth and rested his hand on [name]’s forehead to feel his temperature. [Name] hummed contently as he felt Levi’s cold fingers on his warm skin. Without much thought, he gently moved Levi’s fingers over his closed eyes. He felt more comfort.
“Migraine?” Levi asked.
“Hmn…” [Name] didn’t have more energy to give a detailed answer.
“I left pills on your nightstand.” Levi said, “Take some.”
“No… I’m… tired…” [name]’s eyelids felt heavier, and he couldn’t help closing them.
Levi didn’t like being contradicted, but he kept silent. Perhaps he was tired because of him, or just annoyed. He grunted but didn’t say further. The room fell into silence. Levi stared at [name]’s face, who rested quietly. As he saw nothing else bothering him, he got up and spoke loudly for [name] to hear. [name] opened his eyes tiredly when he got up from the bed.
"It's time for me to go, then." Levi was ready to leave, but he felt something pulling his hand before he began to walk away. He turned his head just to see [name] staring at him with pleading eyes, almost looking like a child scared of the dark.
"Nooo... don't leave me, please," he pleaded. "Stay with me..."
"I can't. Go to sleep."
"But, Levi, I'm scared of being alone... Please, just stay with me this time, pretty pretty please?"
Levi stared, again. With holding hands still, [name] blinked slowly with his long eyelashes, making his plea more "captivating.” Levi wanted to punch his face.
“No.”
“Pretty pleasse…” [name] tightened the grip on his hand.
Levi actually thought about it this time. Perhaps [name] was going to fall asleep, since he looked too tired. “Five minutes.” He answered before sitting down again in the same place, while ignoring how content and happy [name] stupidly looked. Silence filled the room again, but speaking wasn’t necessary for both of them this time.
After such peace, the phone rang. [Name] grunted at the interruption of his sleep, but quickly took the phone before missing the call. The frown that was plastered on his face changed to a soft smile as he answered. Levi narrowed his eyes at such change.
“Hi, Vincent.” [name] replied. “I’m good. Thank you for calling.”
What a good friend.
“It’s fine. Actually, Levi came to—”
Levi snitched the phone out of his hands. Vincent’s voice only fueled his irritation, as his worried questions were heard from the other line.
“What a nice, worried friend you are, Mr. Guard.”
Vincent didn’t answer at first. “Mr. Ackerman, good afternoon.”
Levi could notice Vincent’s change of tone. Well, the feeling was mutual.
“No need for such cute calls for your boyfriend.”
“If I’m worried about him, then I’ll call.”
Levi gritted his teeth. *“*How daring.”
Levi noticed Vincent was going to make a remark, but he shut himself up before spitting it. The ravenette smirked slightly. At least such guard knew who he was talking to. Due to the lack of an answer, Levi kept speaking.
“You asked, he answered. This is all you’ll get.”
Vincent seemed to rile himself up. "He doesn’t—” But Levi hung up before Vincent could finish. He slammed the phone with such force, that made [name] jump at the noise.
Levi stared knives at the phone, not paying attention to [name]’s stare.
“You don’t like Vincent.” [name] looked at him timidly, speaking softly. Levi did look furious at the call— but [name] was sure Vincent wasn’t the type of person to look for problems. What did make Levi so angry?
“Is that a problem for you?”
[name] frowned. It… wasn’t a problem, but he didn’t like seeing his friend— or confidant? being treated so harshly. He knew Levi could see that, but he knew how Levi acted. The people in the asylum could be really… spiteful. Either way, the reflective thoughts only soothed him—he was more than tired. Levi waited, but the question was left unanswered. Instead, it was met with soft snores coming from the idiot.
He had fallen asleep at last.
Levi glared at him—how could he be sleeping so comfortably with him in the room? Leci here, acting like a good guy only fueled his anger. There had to be a reward for this absurdity. He didn’t comprehend his own feelings—their meaning. After all, he hadn’t needed them in a long time, if ever. [name] made him repulsed by such foolish emotions.
How bitter you are.
[Name] didn’t mean to last in that place, but Erwin and four eyes sought any ways to protect him from all evil. Even so, they themselves were worse than the subjects. Levi laughed bitterly internally every time one of them couldn’t hide their desire to possess such a good-for-nothing assistant. He couldn’t understand wholly, but now he saw why. But ‘liking’ him? It wasn’t that. It was something else, but Levi still couldn’t comprehend. He should, soon enough.
Levi glanced at [name], waiting for the moment to move.
And, just when he noticed [Name] fell into a deep slumber, the devil returned.
Levi couldn't stop himself. There was just this urge.
Shifting his body slowly to not interrupt his companion's sleep, facing him. He stared at [name]'s body; how his chest moved according to his breathing, how his lips slightly opened as gentle, barely audible snores came out of his mouth—his long eyelashes, his relaxed, cute expression... only for him to see.
Levi's hand slowly moves under [name]'s shirt, gently caressing his warm stomach. He moved his touch on [name]'s waist this time, grabbing and squeezing part of the flesh not too harshly. The ravenette waited for a response, but just as he was met with silence, he continued his secret exploration in quietness. This time, he rested his head on the crock of [name]'s neck, smelling his scent. His hand explored the flesh a bit more daringly, slowly crawling his way to reach [name]'s chest, the tips of his fingers exploring the flesh cautiously.
This time [name] whimpered softly, his body shivering for one second. The ravenette waited for any other reaction or complaint, but [name] remained in his slumber with a troubled expression adorning his face.
Levi smirked.
What a reward.
shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist
chapter six — new memories [1.4]
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Armin was nice— [Name] really liked him. He was gentle, his voice was soft and he wasn’t an idiot. That was enough for [Name] to not hate him, surprisingly. Fortunately for him, Armin liked him too.
“How has your handwriting gotten?” Armin asks, eating some cookies Beatrice made for them. They sitting on the table inside [Name]’s house— the usual spot to teach [Name].
“I think it’s better. But I’ve gotten some trouble remembering some letters.” Handing him his notebook, [Name] watches expectantly as Armin takes the item and looks at it, flipping some pages.
Humming, the blond inspects the semi-messy handwriting. It wasn't a pleasant looking typography, but it was enough to understand it. There were some words that contained backwards letters, but it was a great improvement since last week. “I see you have some problems with certain letters, but you have improved a lot! I’m happy my teaching has somehow worked...”
Blinking, [Name] stares at the blonde in silence. It wasn’t a secret he always looked down on himself— he always felt weak when [Name] or whoever who came to defend him agaisnt the bullies. It was plastered all around his face— but [Name] thinks Armin is strong.
“You are smart.” [Name] begins, resting his head on the table, looking at the blonde without an expression. “I like you, Armin.”
The blue-eyed boy blinks in surprise before blushing a little by the bland statement. “I—I like you too, [Name]!”
Slightly lifting the tips of his lips, a smile barely noticeable, the amnesiac boy speaks, “I’m glad.” Straightening his posture, the boy looks expectantly at his friend, who blinks in return before snapping out of his thoughts.
“U—Uhm! I—I think we should get to reading!” He hands him a simple book for children, easy to read. His friend takes it and opens it before glazing at the words and begins his reading exercise.
Armin was... always curious about [Name]. The first thing that made him amazed and interested in him was back then when he first protected him— he actually fought similar like Mikasa. He had never seen him around before— he was confused at first. An unknown kid helping him instead of his best friend Eren.
But the most impressive thing was his eyes— they were nothing Armin had seen before. They were unique. The children around the neighborhood were pretty harsh on him for his eyes and his demeanor, telling him ‘freak’ and ‘weird’. But Armin could see his friend was unfazed by these comments— he was really strong.
[Name] was so calm and collected. His only weakness was his headaches and, maybe, Beatrice. The blond could see the incredible attachment his friend had with the nice woman— and Beatrice loved him dearly. Armin believed if something bad happened to the woman, [Name]’s calm behavior would broke in some way— it was pretty clear to him.
[Name] and Eren where obviously different, but not that much. Armin knew [Name] could be pretty brutal when fighting some times— like when the bullies had yet again stolen food from Armin, and when the amnesiac boy knew about this, Armin had never seen someone so scary. Basically, [Name] had made the bully throw up, and then made him eat it again. He only knew of this because Mikasa had told them about it, because when that happened, the bullies left Armin alone for some time.
Armin did like [Name] a lot. He enjoyed his time with him, reading for him, teaching how to write and read... it was different. He was glad Eren and [Name] had become good friends in the end, as Armin finally could keep company with both of them without the two killing each other that much.
━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━
“And hear this! It says the ocean is made of saltwater!” The blonde excitedly speaks, showing the drawings to [Name]. “No merchant can finish all the salt it has!”
“Ocean...” [Name] blinks as he looks at the drawing. His fingers touch it gently, as if it’s a part of the sea. He’s silent without expression, worrying Armin.
“Is something wrong?”
The amnesiac boy doesn’t respond. There’s something familiar he can’t fully grasp— this ‘ocean’ is familiar to him in some way. But as he tries to remember anything, a shock passes trough all of his body at the same time images appear on his mind for seconds— but one particular burns: something blue as the sky.
He can even hear some type of bird, the ocean waves... but there’s a voice— a woman’s voice besides him, but he can’t see her face as his gaze in locked on the peaceful sea. Then, her clear but unrecognizable voice says:
“The ocean is what keeps us apart from them.”
Blinking, the memory? disappear as he speaks without thinking, “I think I’ve seen it.”
Armin’s eyes widened in surprise, not believing what he’s hearing. “That’s impossible! The ocean is outside this walls! No one has ever seen it!”
[Name] doesn’t say anything— he’s sure it was a memory, even if it was clear for some seconds, it burns in his mind. He’s sure is real— the ocean, the sounds, her voice... It’s too real, like he was there with her.
He wants to tell Armin about it, but the boy remembers Beatrice had told him to not tell anybody about him being outside the walls. It could cause a lot of trouble for him or her, and obviously he didn’t want that. So he shuts his mouth and doesn’t say much.
“Yeah... I think I’m imagining things,” he dismissed the entire conversation, “let’s read some more.”
His blond friend looks like he wants to say something else, but the look [Name] is giving him shuts him down. It’s clear to Armin that [Name] doesn’t want to say anything else, and he obeys. The blond kid keeps on reading, sometime stealing some glances at his friend while [Name] tries his best to follow,. But the memory keeps his mind occupied, wondering about something the woman said to him...
“It keeps us apart from who, exactly...?”
【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist
[Name] was leaving his apartment. While locking his door, he heard a male voice calling for him from behind. He turned to see his neighbor, Porco, with his usual frown.
"Hello, [Name]." He greets grumpily; [Name] knows Porco isn't a morning person. Nevertheless, he's very responsible for his work.
[Name] smiles, "Good morning, Porco! Leaving already?"
"Nothing good about mornings," he passes a hand trough his hair, irritated. "They want me already in the office. Pieck called me 5 on the fucking morning."
[Name] chuckles, "sad to hear that. What was the reason? It's not usual they call you this early."
"Late work and deadlines. The usual," he looks at the [hair color] haired male for a couple of seconds, and his face relax, "but anyways, how is the work have been? Haven't seen you lately."
[Name]'s face lightened up by hearing his work, a smile appears on his gentle face. Porco raises an eyebrow by seeing this, "It has been good! Everyone helps me! But— uhm—" [Name] gets quiet suddenly when he remembers some certain... problems he has been trough.
A frown appears on the blond's face, carefully watching [Name]. "But what?" He asks, but his petite friend doesn't speak. Porco analyzes him, but then rapidly connects the dots of his quiet behavior. Gritting his teeth, he lowly grunts, "is someone bothering you? Tell me."
[Name] shakes his head hastily, moving his hands in front of him in denial. "No, no! That's not it— it's just that I'm a little clumsy, that's all!" He laughs nervously.
Porco relaxed a little by hearing his words, but his frown remained and crossed his arms. He carefully looked at his friend, who played with his hands and avoided his gaze. "If someone is bothering you or anything, just let me know. I will take care of it."
[Name] scratches his neck, shyly. The [hair color] haired knew he could count with Porco in almost everything. His neighbor was a good friend— he cared about him a lot. Porco was a serene and short of words kind of person at first when [Name] first arrived, but the blond quickly warmed up to him. If [Name] was scared by hearing things in the night, he could always count on Porco accompany him or help him search so he could sleep.
"Thank you, Porco. I really appreciate it." [Name] brightly smiles, but changes his kind expression to a toothy smile, furrowing his eyebrows, trying to look tough, "if someone is bothering you too, I will pay them a visit too!" He raises his fist.
Well, [Name] looked stupidly cute trying to act tough. Porco couldn't hold a chuckle from coming out, making [Name] blush in embarrassment. The [hair color] haired laughed nervously, scratching his neck and dropping his "tough" act.
"Sure thing, doll." The blond calms his laughs, "anyways, where are you working at?" he changed the subject, feeling more relaxed.
"Reiss Mental Asylum. It's a little far away from here but—"
"WHERE?!" Porco loudly yells, eyes widening in horror, scaring and making [Name] yelp, "in the asylum?! [Name], WHAT?!"
"i—is there a problem with it? Everyone is nice there! I—I mean—"
"[Name]! You— that— that fucking place is—" before Porco could finish, a cellphone ringing could be heard coming from his pocket. The blond grunted in annoyance and took it, "what?!" he harshly answered, gritting his teeth.
[Name] awkwardly stood there, hearing Porco's yells and swearing against his cellphone.
"Goddammit, Pieck! Right now I–" looks like he's interrupted, and he rubs his temples, "alright, alright! I will fucking go— Just tell Colt and the others to not touch shit. Yes, yes whatever," saving his cellphone, he sighs. He looks at [Name], still with his frown, "you and I will talk later. Can't believe you are in that fucking place."
[Name] hastily nods in return, "s—sure! But when...?"
Porco is already hurriedly leaving, "will phone you later." But he abruptly stops, remembering something. He turns to see [Name], raising an eyebrow, "did you take your lunch?"
The pretty male gently scratches his cheek with his index finger, a little embarrassed by his clumsiness. "I didn't make any..."
"You are so clumsy." He approaches [Name] and gives him a box, red painting his cheeks, "take mine and don't speak. Just— just take care of yourself, alright?" Porco seems to want to say something else but refrains to. Nevertheless, he blushes and frowns, averting [Name]'s gaze. "Call me for anything."
"Sure, Porco! You too!" [Name] laughs to try and lighten the mood, and he certainly does. Porco rolls his eyes and chuckles before leaving, and when he's out of [Name]'s sight, his face returns to his worried face. Porco won't have a good day at work, it seems.
++++++++++++
[Name] was just arriving to the asylum, he was called by a female voice. Looking up, he is meet with Margaret's unfamiliar gaze on him.
"Honey, good morning. Dr. Smith is calling for your presence in his office, I think it would be better if you go right away." She explains, and the assistant can catch her shifting uncomfortably when mentioning the last sentence. Margaret sounded... urgent by the order— not the usual, "take your time" tone.
Blinking, watching her carefully, he tried to deduce what caused her to tense, but he couldn't decide right away. He just answered with a quiet 'alright' and left, a little nervous himself. If the woman was this strange, then maybe director was in a... certain mood.
The woman sighed. She didn't want to scare him or make him anxious, but her face and tone betrayed her away.
Dr. Smith could be a scary man when he wanted.
++++++++++
The assistant knocked on the door gently, hearing a 'who?' from the other side. The voice sounded deep and irritated— gulping, [Name] nervously answered:
"[Name] [Last Name], sir..."
There was an immediate answer. "Come in."
[Name] anxiously opened the door, pecking inside before coming in. Erwin was sitting straight, looking right at the small male, carefully as a hawk. [Name] just stands there awkwardly, trying to not see Erwin in the eyes. He says a quiet and pathetic 'good morning', then plays with his fingers, gulping. Erwin didn't look particularly relaxed nor in a good mood— he hummed, [Name] shivering a little by the deep sound.
"I received a notification yesterday— Eren Jaeger attacked you during your session. Is that correct?" Erwin's voice is loud and clear-- but if you listened closely, the blond's voice was filled with bitter. He was absolutely furious about what happened, but the assistant couldn't tell his anger; only irritation.
Gulp. [Name] tries to explain, clumsily. "Y—Yes but—"
"What did he do?" Erwin clenches his teeth, holding his anger from showing. He had to take it easyー [Name] won't stay away this time if he controls it.
"It's— it's nothing serious, sir! We just—" [Name] keeps trying, and he can see how Erwin is changing— he tries to protect Eren, but he knows he can't succeed.
He slowly stands, voice dangerously lowering as he carefully watches [Name], "what did he do?"
A shiver gets down [Name] spine. The blond's voice wasn't the usualー it was getting lower and dangerous. "He just- grabbed me by my collar. t-that's all." [Name] was wearing a turtle neck shirt today— if not, his bruise that looked purplish and slightly yellowish could be more noticeable— Porco would have been nuts, and maybe Erwin too.
The taller man narrows his eyes, examining the assistant from head to toe. "Any injuries?"
[Name] played with his hands nervously, averting his gaze, "n—no, sir..."
Unfortunately for [Name], Erwin knew everything about what had happened in that room. And he didn't like one a bit that –his– [Name] wasn't telling him the truth. Why wouldn't he? Why was he lying to him? What was the purpose of that?
Erwin clenched his fist, and a frown could be noticed by now. [Name] was nervous and frightened by the cold expression the other had. Erwin's patience was running out quickly. "That wasn't what I heard. Show me your neck."
Unconsciously, the assistant placed a hand near the bruise, trying to prevent the other from seeing it. "M—My neck? But I—"
Erwin's patience snapped— the man immediately approached [Name] and pulled his collar down harshly, by the big surprise of the poor assistant. His cheeks blushed in embarrassment, but the blond couldn't enjoy such view because his rage was blinding him by the bruise decorating –his– boy's skin.
The man wanted to snap Eren's neck with his own hands.
"He will be punished." Erwin coldly said, caressing [Name]'s bruise while looking at itー he wanted to cover that horrible mark with new ones, made from him. To think such a disgusting beast touched him... angers him, disgusts him.
"No!" [Name] abruptly yelled, surprising Erwin. "Don't, Erwin!"
The blond frowned, trying to ignore how good it felt hearing his name being said, "he will be. It's against the rules to harm a worker; he knows that very well, [Name]."
"I know but— he was just stressed! He just followed his emotions, don't do anything to him, please!"
Erwin stayed in silence. His anger was raisingー why was [Name] protecting a rat like Jaeger? It was foolish. No matter what he says he will punishー
"Please, Erwin!"
Shit— hearing him plead was hot. And hearing his name along the pleading was an absolute joy. Erwin's thoughts began to be messy, and his whole body felt warm quickly— specially in his lower area.
It wasn't any help that the previous male in front of him was looking at him so pleadingly, grabbing his hands so softly. It was making Erwin insane, and if the man wasn't that good holding himself, he may have been doing something entirely different right now.
He couldn't stop imagining –his– [Name] under him, admiring the perfect and small body— the soft skin being marked by him. The gasps and moans the [hair color] haired would let out; the flustered expression Erwin would love to see. How tight would he be? How much would he plead? Erwin wanted to find out as soon as possible.
"E—Erwin...?"
The blond blinked. Looking at [Name], he noticed his hands were on the small waist, slowly wandering. The assistant's hands were on his chest, trying to make space; his cheeks were slightly reddish and a confused expression was on his face. He looked adorable; gorgeous.
Erwin had a strong urge to keep touching him— to rip his clothes and take him over his desk. To hear his voice moan his name while he thrusts over and over...
"Erwin~!"
"What would you do for him to not be punished?" Erwin dangerously spoke, lowering his voice, sounding raspy and gruffly. He took [Name] chin gently, looking at his pretty [eye color] eyes, admiring the long eyelashes he hadー he was just like a doll. A doll he will posses.
[Name] tried to answer confidently, showing a cute face unconsciously. "A–Anything necessary!"
"Uhm?" Erwin smiles amused, raising an eyebrow, "anything is a dangerous word." He touches his lower lip with his thumb, trying to ignore the demons whispering on his ear— telling him to give in and tear apart [Name] clothes right there, exposing his perfect skin— to touch it, to mark it.
The assistant doesn't pay much attention to the clear dirty moves the blonde is making. Somehow, [Name] gets more determined by remembering his purpose as a doctor, and his answer is less clumsy now. "My patients are important to me!"
"Is that so..." Erwin's hands began to slowly wander around [Name]'s waist, confusing the assistant. The blond grits his teeth, trying to hold himself. Nevertheless, he slowly approached [Name]'s soft lips, trying to taste themー their lips just inches from touching. Erwin's hands tightly hold [Name]'s waist in anticipationー just a little more and he would taste his beautiful ー
"Erwin...?"
The blond grunted, irritated by the interruption, again. "Slow. You just got his trust recently— take it slow." Erwin thought, sighing in disappointment. He makes space, rubbing his temples, "will think for your punishment instead, hmn?"
[Name] blinks, confused by the whole moment. Thankfully he focus again to answer, "Ah! Y-Yes!"
"But if someone else touches you again, I will not be as forgiving, got it?" Erwin carefully looks at [Name], and the assistant happily nods, thanking him. The blond smiles, turning to his desk, "that's all. You can return to your work, [Name]."
The pretty male smiles brightly, thanking him again before leaving. Erwin stops smiling and sits, looking down at the bulge forming in his pants. Just thinking about [Name] was a blissー his perfect body under him, grabbing his naked tights hard; leaving marks on them while he thrusts [Name] over and over, hearing his sweet voice moaning his name...
"What have you done to me?"
++++++++
After that, the assistant walked through the corridors trying to find one of the therapy rooms. Once again he found himself alone— Zeke had important matters to attend in the higher floors, where [Name] couldn't go freely unless it was Eren's or Reiner's session or if Zeke needed his assistance. He didn't mind anyways— the alarms up there were heard often, seeing nurses and guards hurrying upstairs. He didn't want to get himself into trouble, so he hold his curiosity and didn't pry.
Finally spotting his destined place, he couldn't not notice the familiar brunette, Vincent, standing with another guard near the door. The male instantly saw him, giving him a big grin, which the assistant laughed quietly by it.
"Good morning," [Name] happily greeted, receiving a hum from the other guard and a loud morning! from Vincent. The assistant remembered he always was paired with different guards— not these two. Confused, he questioned. "Weren't there other guard in my time? N—Not that I mind, of course!"
"I told you I was going to be your bodyguard, [Name]!" Vincent jokingly pouted, looking like a child, before changing into a serious expression."Anyways, didn't you heard? They dis—"
"Hey!" The other guard immediately yelled to the two, making them jump, "my apologies, doctor, but we can't share that information with you. Orders from the directors."
"Ah! I forgot that, sorry..." Vincent frowns, as if he remembers something he didn't like.
[Name] blinks, confused. He didn't understand why the information wasn't available for him. After all, they were his coworkers too. "Orders...? From who exactly?"
"We... can't say, sorry." Vincent answered this time, looking apologetic.
[Name], seeing as he wasn't going to get any answers, decided to leave the topic and go to the session. Taking the door handle, he said, "A—Alright... see you in a hour..."
The brunette grins, loudly saying, "Don't forget our date!"
"Don't say it that loud!" [Name] blushed, quickly entering the room, ignoring Vincent's laugh.
The other guard, seeing the assistant leaving, he says, "Dating him will give you trouble, man, I'm telling ya."
Vincent keep smiling without caring, looking dreamy. If he was honest, he didn't mind getting into trouble if that meant being with him. His companion could see that, worrying him.
"Look at what happened to Jin and Roman, Vincent. That wasn't a coincidence." He tried to reason with him, but it was with no avail. Vincent didn't hear him at all— and that frustrated him. He sighed in defeat, "you are a thick head."
++++++++++++++
The room was pretty big— it was all white, and the only source of color was the paintings and utensils. There was a noticeable smell of paint, but not that strong to be uncomfortable. Various canvas placed in a circle, along with chairs and a little table to put on the painting instruments. There was a wooden desk facing all the patients, where an instructor was boringly watching them. It was quiet.
The room wasn't full— there were only twelve canvases and only six were occupied. And two of them were used by Armin and Jean, his' previous patients. And when [Name] entered the room, Armin instantly saw him and his face lightened up, stopping his actions to pay full attention to the angel. Jean, in the other hand, was grateful that he appeared, as he was bored with the therapeutic session.
"Good morning," [Name] greeted with a smile, receiving a flat answer from the worker and some patients. He made his way to Armin and Jean, who both were sitting side by side. His smile grew at seeing them, "hello! How is your paintings going?"
Jean was instantly going to make a remark, but Armin was quick to excitedly answer first, surprising Jean by the sudden action.
"I'm painting the ocean! Look!" He said like a child, proud of his work, wanting it to show to his mother. But his tone changed to a timid one, "What do you think?"
[Name] gets behind Armin and lowers himself a little to see the painting, while the blond's heart is beating so fast by how near he can feel him. He can smell his sweet scent: honey and flowers.
Would he taste as good as he smells?
Being so close, Armin can admire how beautiful he is— his lips, his neck...
Uh?
The blonde blinks, noticing something... different. Something darker can be seen just slightly under his turtle neck. What is that?
While Armin tries to secretly look under the turtle neck while [Name] is admiring how the painting is beautifully done. It makes him feel calm, looking at the waves and puffy clouds— but he notices two people looking at the ocean, but he can't distinguish who they are —if they are somebody—.
"Who are they?" [Name] suddenly asks, surprising Armin and making him jump, forgetting about what he was trying to see secretively.
The blond gulped nervously, blushing but smiling, "...you and me."
The [hair color] haired blinks surprised, but quickly smiles warmly at the adorable words. "That's nice of you, Armin. Your painting is beautiful!"
The blonde plays with his hands nervously, crimson painting his cheeks. He blurts rather loudly, timid but brightly. "M—Maybe... We can go together... to the ocean!"
[Name] blinks for a moment, but smiles warmly. He pats Armin’s head gently and promises, "we will!"
Armin smiles, looking dreamy.
Jean just looks at Armin as if he’s crazy— never in his life in this shithole he saw the blonde like this. He wasn’t like this, not even with Mikasa or Eren. He looked... normal, in a way. The blond never smiled nor blushed, or to be exact never showed a reaction such as this.
What did just this pretty assistant do to him?
"And you, Jean?" [Name] questions with a smile, but instantly ask again as he sees his painting— a black haired girl, and his curiosity grows, "who's that? your girlfriend?"
He slightly blushes, already forgetting his past thoughts, "of course not! She's just—"
"Eren's sister." Armin interrupts, smiling maliciously at Jean.
[name] blinks, "...E—Eren's sister?" Just the name shook him— he tried to not care too much, but Eren was... He did scare him badly even if he tried not to. He shivered a little, remembering the past interaction.
The two catch immediately the change of behavior— it was noticeable. The assistant was smiling just a second ago, and just by mentioning Eren, he changed. His expression changed drastically to a worried one.
"It's something wrong?" Jean frowns, cautiously watching [Name]. The two toned haired male didn’t even try to joke— a change like that wasn’t normal by just a name.
Unconsciously, [Name] touches his neck, remembering his bruises. "Uhm..." He's upset— hearing him calling him whore. It did hurt him. But he blinks repeatedly, looking at the two patients looking at him in worry. The assistant harshly shakes his head, trying to smile. "It's nothing! I'm fine!!".
They looked at each other weirdly, but before they could ask for his well being again, [Name] changed the topic quickly.
"Anyways! How do you know her?"
"She visits Eren," Jean half answers, seeing [Name] tense by the name again, and proceed, "and Armin a lot. Looks like a threesome."
"I will never do something like that with them.” Armin answers quickly, looking rather angry and insulted.
Nevertheless, Jean catches something in his words and grins, “with them? Ohoho, so there’s somebody you rather have sex with?”
The assistant’s cheeks turn red by the turn of topic, and tries to stop him, “Jean, please stop. That’s not nice topic at all.” He shakes his head in disappointment, Jean just grins.
Surprising enough, Armin didn't back off with the dirty question. He answered as if the answer was obvious, taking [Name] and Jean aback. "Of course— with the person I love the most."
"Is that so? And who is this "loved one" if it isn't Eren nor Mikasa?"
"Obviously it's [Name]."
...
...
...
WHAT?!
[Name]'s face had to be priceless because Jean was holding his laugh and amazement as best as he could, but being the asshole he is he laughed loudly. The assistant just blinked and blushed deeply, surprised by the answer he just heard. Covering his mouth, he had nothing to say at that.
"Really? The assistant?" Jean laughed, out of breath. He couldn't think of Armin and [Name] being together at all— what did the blondie saw in him anyways?
Were his soft lips, gentle eyes, perfect skin that got him captivated?
Or maybe just thinking about his caring attitude that made Armin love him?
Just as Jean was thinking these unusual thoughts, his laughter stopped, and a soft crimson painted his cheeks. He looked the other way, rethinking his opinions on the assistant.
Well, Armin has some taste I guess...
"I-I'm... uhm..." [Name] didn't know what to say or think, but he could see Armin patiently waiting for his answer. "I'm... flattered, Armin. But a relationship as this can't be! It's-It's against the rules!" the [hair color] haired tried to reason without sounding harsh, worried about his feelings or how he was going to react.
Smiling, the blond didn't care at all of what he was saying, the only thing he was happy for is that he didn't say no. "That doesn't matter, [Name], love is stronger than the rules." Just remembering the books he read before taught him that love always preserves. Always.
While [Name] was thinking on how to fix the situation, thankfully, a bell could be heard, indicating the current task was finished. He sighed in relief, and he quickly tried to leave the place. "W-Well, that's my que to leave! I hope you finish your paintings. Have a great morning!" And with that, he left in a hurry.
Neither of the two remaining said or do anything. Armin was smiling with an unusual expression on his face, looking at the door where [Name] left.
Jean just kept quiet, thinking about his new opinions on the assistant. He felt like a school girl out of nowhere. Was he... rethinking his feelings for him? No way.
++++++++++++
Walking trough the halls, [Name] was glad that awkward moment was over. He wasn't good at all at rejecting people's feelings on him, so he dodging was the best thing he could do.
Vincent was with him, chatting quite excited. The guard had waited for him to guide him to the cafeteria, and [Name] was happy by just talking to him, forgetting his thoughts. Unfortunately, Vincent got a call from his radio, saying they needed him in the upper floor. He just winked at the assistant ready to leave, not before saying he had to be ready for his date. [Name] only blushed, embarrassed by it.
He walked alone again, gaze locked on the floor.
"[Name]." A stoic voice was heard, and the assistant looked in front of him, seeing Levi standing there with his hands on his bags, looking at him. He smiled, waving at the ravenette, approaching him excited. "Adorable."
"Levi! Hello!" [Name] stood beside Levi, getting his hair behind his ear. "Where's Mike?"
Levi's eye twitched, getting unnoticed by [Name]. "Busy upstairs." He quickly said, walking without waiting for the assistant.
Quickly following him, Levi says they are going to the cafeteria. [Name] walks along with him, chatting and laughing with him.
The short man just listens, comfortable in [Name]'s presence.
+++++++++++
Levi, getting his food to the table, was surprised to see a red box [Name] took with him as well.
"Finally you made your food, brat." Levi said, giving a bite to his food, looking at the well made food the other had— it looked like a house wife did it. Rice, carrots... octopus-looking sausage?
He blushed and smiled, shaking his head in denial. "I—I didn't make it! My neighbor gave it to me!"
Levi narrowed his eyes instantly, changing his mood to a bitter one, "gave it?" The thought of someone making him food made him highly suspicious— was that person interested in him? Well, that could be obvious. This looked like a school confession, making food for your crush.
The thought only irritated him.
But why? Why did something that unimportant got him upset?
"Yeah! He's really nice." [Name] smiled brightly, crimson painting his cheeks.
The only sight of him smiling for someone else's cooking disgusted him.
Why?
Levi's appetite disappeared, the food didn't taste good no more, so he just sipped his tea, thinking about the assistant. He couldn't explain it, but something inside him wasn't happy at all with someone gifting him things freely, even more when this neighbor was just at his side.
"Ah! Excuse me," [Name] said when he heard the particular ringtone —that he added specially for Porco—, and answered it. He didn't know it, but his face lightened by just recognizing who it was.
That, made Levi narrow his eyes suspiciously.
"Porco, hello!" [Name] smiled, "yeah, everything is okay! Stop worrying!" He laughs hearing the other answer and replies, "don't worry. Anyways, how's work? Did you send it in time?"
While the conversation occurred, Levi couldn't stop feeling... strange. He wasn't happy by seeing [Name] this excited by just a call —of who knows who—, he was irritated. Unconsciously he crossed his arms and frowned— a sudden thought of taking the phone and demanding answers was strong, but refrained to do so.
Levi's thoughts were getting darker, and he ignored every sound around him. He looked at nothing in particular with a frown, not happy at all with where is thoughts were going.
Nevertheless, [Name] returned, the call being finished.
"Who was it?" Levi carefully inspected [Name] face to see any hint of emotion— and he certainly caught how happy the other was by his smile.
"It was my neighbor! He wanted to go out." He happily answered, taking bites of his food.
"Neighbor? The same as your age you mentioned the other day?" Levi could faintly remember him talking about it, but he thought it was a nobody. Seems that changed.
"Exactly! I haven't been able to talk to him much, so I'm glad he called me."
"What was the call for?"
"Oh, we're meeting this friday! He has a busy schedule but made way for it."
Levi gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, tightly. He felt something burning inside him by hearing the other spoke about that 'neighbor'. A date? With someone he doesn't even know?
The ravenette tried his best to calm down, he breathed slowly, rubbing his temples. [Name] noticed he was tensed, and worried him, "Are you alright? You look... angry...?"
"I'm fine." He answered shortly.
The two ate in an awkward silence.
+++++++
Work was over for [Name]. He quickly went to the exit, ready to leave the building. But before he could open the door, someone called from him— turning, he saw Levi.
"I'm going to take you home today." He awkwardly said, with his usual frown. Even if he tried sounding soft, it always came rather harsh, but he hoped [Name] got the idea.
The assistant frowned, "Oh, I'm sorry, Levi. But I'm not going to my apartment right away."
"I can drop you off to wh—"
"[Name]! Ready to go?" A new voice was heard, and Levi turned to see Vincent, the semi-new guard they hired the other week. The ravenette grew suspicious of his words, and he raised an eyebrow, looking at [Name], who only smiled apologetic at him. "Oh, am I interrupting something?"
"I was just telling Levi I'm going with..." [Name] blushed, trying to say whatever he was trying to say without feeling embarrassed, "you on a date right now."
Levi's eye twitched in annoyance. Just— the fuck? How— how this guy could get a "date" with [Name]? AND before him? He bet this disgusting guy was even going to try and kiss him if he let him.
"Levi...?"
"Fine. See you tomorrow." The ravenette harshly spoke, leaving the building before anyone could say something else. If Levi was another minute there, he would get more irritated and angry, and he didn't want to scare [Name] off.
But he had to make him understand one day.
+++++++++++
Vincent and [Name] were having a good time at the coffee shop— they were chatting and laughing together. The guard even brushed [Name]’s hand sometimes, making the smaller male blush a little and awkwardly chuckle. The taller male sometimes complimented him with the only purpose to see him blush and act adorable.
It was obvious Vincent was attracted to [Name].
It was clear for Levi, at least.
He could see them all the way from his parked car, far away from the coffee shop, where the two love-bird were sitting, beside a window where the ravenette could watch them.
He was furious and jealous, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Gripping the wheel tightly, Levi clenched his teeth. A murderous gaze was plastered all over his face.
He couldn’t accept the fact that this disgusting man touching his beautiful love.
Love? That’s how he feel towards him...? Love...? Was he lovesick? How? It was if... a love spell was sent to him. He wanted to touch the soft skin, smell his hair, have him on his arms, do whatever he wanted with him.
Levi wanted [Name] to be his completely.
He only had to clear his way and win this game.
[levi x male!reader x erwin] this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease. summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.
t h r e e ___
Your health wasn't an excuse to not doing your job. Erwin wanted you to rest until there was a solution— but you weren't going to obey him. You didn't want to slack off and be the center of attention, you just wanted to stay off radar by everyone. Especially, by your illness' cause:
Levi.
Just thinking of him made you sick and warm— yes, you liked him a lot, loved him, even. But the other part of you made you repulsed of him. You thought the cause of that repulsion was the curse you had, but sometimes, you just wanted to stop loving him. Just to stop the suffering.
But that was impossible, wasn't it? You just can't change your feeling for someone in an instant. The only thing you could do was hide your feelings in the darkest place, with your flowers' company. Hide them from prying eyes, away from everyone. Just your emotions, the flowers and you.
Was this illness really going to kill you? After all you have been through? You didn't want to believe this at all— flowers were more deadly than a stupid titan! Unbelievable. How could it be? Flowers filling your lungs just for unrequited love? You had a hard time believing this ridiculous "curse". But, sadly, this was as real as the titans.
But then... how come nobody knew about this illness? Was this another thing the King hide? How could this be real?
A knock on the door snapped out of your thoughts. “Come in.” You said, rubbing your temple in exasperation.
A blonde picked shyly, then came in and saluted. “Squad Leader [Name], the Corporal is asking for your presence on today's training.”
“Fuck.” You instantly thought. You didn't remember today's task: help Levi with training. Was your luck better than yesterday? Or life was just laughing at you? You passed your hand on your hair, letting out a sigh. “Thanks, Arlert. We should be going or the grumpy old man is going to beat my ass.”
Armin didn't laugh at your comment— the blonde just nodded and smiled. The relationship with the cadets and you weren't that bad in your opinion. You enjoyed talking with the little kid about the outside world— something that was very forbidden to do. Arlert even had a book of the outside that shared with you, by your big surprise.
The kid was very clever; maybe as clever as Erwin. Something unnerving— could this young kid see the same thing Erwin couldn't not see? Could he see your sickness? You noticed your face paled this morning. You wished to whoever to put a blindfold to everyone around you.
Leaving your office with Armin at your side, you jokingly asked, “How is training today? Is the Corporal harsher than before?”
“The Corporal is being a little... harsh, yes. But I don't see much difference as in other training,” he placed finger on his chin, looking thoughtful, “But he seemed a little irritated that you weren’t there.”
“Of course he is going to be like that. I forgot I had to help him training.” You nervously stated. “What's today's training for?”
“We are training with our Vertical Maneuvering Equipment.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” What was worse? Close combat or the damn VME? Both options sounded horrible, but using your gear at your current state made you nervous. When your system wanted to throw the flowers this morning, it didn't gave you any warning like before. You just couldn't contain the urge of throwing it all out. Would the sudden force of the gear make you vomit?
You hoped Levi didn't want you to do use your gear today. You always showed your cadets how to use the gear properly, and when Levi wanted to explain something, you helped him showing the cadets your abilities. This wasn't looking good.
The blonde noticed your silent demeanor, thing that made him confused. “Is something wrong?”
Snapping out of your dark thoughts, you smiled as brightly as you could and looked at him, “There's nothing wrong! I just was thinking about how angry is Levi going to be, you've seen how he gets at the simplest things.”
The cadet looked at you, unsure, before nodding slowly.
You were sure Armin resembled Erwin for a second.
“About time you arrived, lazy shit.” You instantly heard the man of your dreams, —or maybe nightmares— when you arrived with Arlert at the training grounds.
Trying to playing it off, you said, “Hey! I'm not that late, just... thirty minutes late, not that bad.”
“Anyways, somehow you came just in time.” The raven stated before looking at Connie and Eren, the newest recruits. You didn't like what was he going to say, you knew it. “These two can't go faster with their gear, and it seems hearing what i'm saying is too hard for them,” he said irritably, looking at the two nervous cadets, then looked at you with his usual frown, “and I expect you to show it.”
Damn it, damn it, damn it! If you refused, he would ask questions, and the answers would not satisfy him at all— you barely got out of the previous situation thanks for Erwin being there, but now he wasn't. Be an adult and resolve your problems.
This wouldn't be that bad, right? You just had to do some harsh movement. You previous thoughts were you being ridiculous; nothing will happen. Everything will be alright, no need to worry. Everything will be okay. Stop overreacting, nothing will happen.
Armin noticed your discomfort, and before he could said something, Levi looked at him and harshly ordered, “You are still here, Arlert? Go back in training.” The blonde got taken aback looking at his scared face, and ran off with a "yes sir!".
Trying to sound normal and collected, you replied, “Sure thing, what do I need to do?”
“Alright, listen closely you two,” you said, looking at Springer and Jaeger, “For this to work you have to work with your whole body, something that I noticed you don't do in your training today.”
“But I moved more than before and I still can't do it! It's impossible to go faster than that!” Connie exclaimed frustrated, “I don't even know how Jean is going faster than me!”
“That horseface actually go faster than me too, that stupid horse...” Eren mumbled. You just let out a laugh, and tried to act serious— Levi was watching you three from afar. Looking specially at you, though,
“Don't say 'I can't do it' because you certainly can,” you looked at Connie, “Listen, Springer. The Corporal is the fastest of us, you know why?” the cadet shacked his head, taking interest, “It's because of his height. He is very short- just like you. I even can say that you could match his speed at some point.” You tried to raise his spirit, thing that succeeded, by the looks of his joyful face.
Now, looking at Eren, you said, “Jaeger, you have to work with your movement. Just think when you are in air as you... are dancing.” By the looks of his expression, he really didn't fully understand your statement, because his confused frown. “Now, now, don't give me that look. It sounds ridiculous, but it does the job. Just imagine the people dancing at the festivals— they are in sync. You have to be in sync with you gear, just like a dance.” To make them fully understand you had to show them, something you wanted to avoid but it seemed impossible.
“Alright, let me show you. You have to see closely, understand?” They nodded, looking excited. Gulping, you looked ahead into the forest. Ignoring the voice in your head stopping you to do this, you prepared yourself and nailed your hook at the nearest tree, and then, you flied.
At first, it didn't feel that uncomfortable. Your mission here was to not be that harsh with your movements, but showing the speed to the cadets was the point of this, so avoiding any movement seemed impossible.
“Now I have to turn...” You reluctantly thought. Your grip tightened and in the second your hooks nailed in the trees, at first you prepared for the worst, but when nothing came you relaxed and even smiled. Even taking a look on the two cadets made you relaxed; they were in awe and the corporal just looked pleased.
“See? Nothing to be wo-”
And then, you felt it.
Your thoughts got interrupted thanks to the familiar sensation on your throat. The feeling made you alerted and disorientated, making you lose your grip on the blades and unhooking them off the tree. The falling wasn't that flawless, looking at how high you were.
You fell on some bushes, making your fall at least not that bad. When you hit the ground you instantly threw up white flowers, ignoring any pain you felt at the moment.
Full little flowers. At first sight, they were beautiful, but not for you anymore.
You practically forced yourself to stop vomiting, and held any flowers from coming out. Knowing the others will come to see if you were alright, at least you had to bear with all the pain until you could get out of there. Trying your best to cover the petals with the bushes, you tried to stand but failed to do so.
“Squad Leader [Name]! Are you alright?!” you heard both Connie and Eren calling for you, and less than a minute they were with you, helping you to stand. Gulping all petals who wanted to come out, you tried your best to just smile.
“Phew! That was a nasty fall. Sorry you had to see that, and i'm the example here, haha...” dusting off your clothes made wince in pain, thing you tried to hide by just laughing. The pair of cadets just kept talking and trying to not worry you that much. They both eventually stopped talking when a certain corporal appeared, with an expression you know very well— he was trying to know what happened, read the situation.
“Cadets, both of you will look for Petra and tell her she's on training duty.” Hearing his orders, both of them saluted and left. He looked at your poor act of getting it together, and asked angrily, “What the hell happened?”
Come on, [Name]! Keep it together!
“My hooks didn't sunk in the tree, simple as that.” Scratching your head, you proceed, “Actually, maybe the hand-grip isn't that-”
“Stop talking shit.”
You gulped. “Uh? What are you talking about? I said my hooks—”
“Quit lying to me.” Levi approached you, taking your arm roughly, making you gasp in pain. Actually, your senses awoken again— now fully feeling the pain in your arm, leg and ribs. “You know I hate lies. More if they come out of your mouth.”
You didn't say a word at all. You didn't dare to make the situation worse.
“Can you walk?”
Leaving his grip on your arm, you tried to take a few steps; you could walk, but you were limping with your right leg. And every time you took a step, a sharp pain was felt in your knee. Levi sighed in irritation, and helped you walk by taking your arm on his shoulder and placing his hand on your waist.
“What a pathetic attempt.”
The closeness made you sick, and the flowers wanted to be released.
“We'll go to the infirmary, then.”
Your ribs didn't break, thankfully. You just had some colorful bruises covering your right leg, left arm and waist. It wasn't that bad, not as bad as the flowers, at least.
After getting parched up, you both went to Levi's office, just to do some "relaxing" paperwork you both had to do. You always went to his office to make him company, something he didn't mind. You had to play it safe— if you avoided him, he would ask questions, and when he asks he wants real answers. Things you couldn't give.
Somehow, your little talk made you forget about all of the feelings and thoughts you were having. There was just the two of you, like it always has been. You forget about the flowers, and they seemed to forget about you just for a moment.
“You have something on your hair.” you heard the raven say, seeing his hand coming closer to you, taking off a leave. “And there's something on your face, too. Disgusting...” Even when he said that, his fingers touched your cheek, cleaning it off, before cleaning his own fingers with a napkin.
The event made you slightly blush —at least you hoped—, and thank him.
“A-Anyways, did Petra said anything about Eren and Connie?” you asked, remembering the little talk both of them had an hour ago, when you were in the infirmary getting check on.
“They did better,” he replied, writing on his papers. “They wanted to know badly how you were, though.”
“Aw! They care about me!” you exclaimed with a big smile. Even if you wanted to play it off, the feeling of the kids caring about you warmed your heart. “How adorable!” The feeling just made you blush.
Your words made the Corporal look at you with a questioning gaze. “What? Do you think they are the only ones caring about you?” Levi asked, stopping his work. “How disappointing.”
Laughing, you talked, “What am I hearing? Does Levi care about me more than the cadets?”
“What if I do?”
Your grip on the pen tightened; your heartbeat went crazy; your blush covering your cheeks went deeper, covering your ears. Words seemed disappear of your vocabulary— you didn't understand how some words could steal your breath like that. But it was because it's him. The one you like the most. Time seemed to stop.
It seemed that the sight of you made him smirk in pleasure. He come closer to your face, looking directly at your eyes. “I asked something. What If I care more than them?”
[Name]! Remain your composure! “W-Well, uhm...” clearing your throat, you proceed, “Then you care about me. That's... all...”
“Why you always forget?”
“Forget? Forget what?”
“About how I can't stand your lies.”
“Lies?! Ahem! What do you want me to say? It's nice that you care about me.” You stopped thinking about what you were saying, so you just let whatever thing came out of your mouth. Uh-oh. Good or bad thing? “I care about you too, anyways.”
He arched his eye brown,“Is that so?”, he slightly smiled, by your surprise. “More than the cadets do, I assume?”
“Of course. We've know each other since you came here, right? Actually, I think I'm the first one who didn't fall for your scary face, along with Hange.”
“Ah, how could I forget how irritating you were,” closing his eyes, he proceed, “even when I knocked you out, you kept being a childish little shit, always returning.”
“Hey! But you love this little shit, don't you?” Laughing, you returned to your work, uncaring of the answer.
“I'm glad you stayed.”
You froze. Levi wasn't the time of saying this like this to you; there were always harsh words in a playful nature. But nothing like this before. Nevertheless, him saying that made a smile on your face.
“I'm glad too.”
After that, a pleasant silence fell. The only sound the both of you heard was the pens writing on your papers and the sound outside. You didn't notice the sky turning dark, until an ocasional glance to the window made you exclaimed, “It's dinner time!”
The Corporal looked at the dinner and let out a hum, you only proceed to stand up from your seat and stretch. “Let's go, Levi. We forgot to do tea, so let's hurry up!”
“Go first, I will join soon.” He replied.
“Alright, then. Will make tea when I get there.” Nodding your head, you didn't bothered to bring you papers with him; it was normal for you to leave them arranged on a part of his desk. He always said "take your shit with you", but you always laughed it off. Strange, because this time, he didn't say anything. You left, but your thoughts made you slow your walk.
You noticed Levi was being more... open to you. Could that be a sign? Maybe? And now that you remember it, flowers weren't trying to get out of your throat. You even forgot about the illness, about the pain, about your future... You felt... nice, warm. Just like before the curse.
Could it be that... you had a future with him? The sudden thought made you blush and smile in embarrassment. Was he, maybe, in love with you? The conversation repeated on your head - and your mind kept re rolling the exact same phrase.
“I'm glad you stayed.”
“What if I care more than them?”
You stopped walking, and come to the realization that you actually wanted to make a move. Nothing could go wrong! The conversation of today made you believe that something could happen between the two of you! A bright smile made through your face thinking this— there was hope after all!
There was not time to waste, then! Your mind was made up— you were confessing right now. No one could interrupt you now; everyone had to be getting dinner, so the two of you couldn't be bothered. You nodded to yourself, and went back to Levi's office.
You couldn't believe it - this was all like a dream to you. You actually were going to have a future! You were going to be cured; everything was going to be alright from now on.
Noticing his door slightly opened, you scolded yourself for not paying attention to close it properly before leaving. Hey! That's not important right now! Shaking your head, you couldn't wait to open it and tell Levi your true feelings. Oh! You couldn't wait to tell Erwin and Hange about—
...
.
.
.
.
.
Ah. How could you forget? So foolish.
The sight in front of you made you petrify.
What was that you were feeling...? Surprise? Fear? Or was it... Heartbreak? How could you point the exact time your heart shattered, and the flowers bloomed once more in your heart? The realization fell like a ton of bricks. You never meant to be loved by him, it was for her. It never was for a person like you. Not you. Never, ever, for you. How could you forget? How? You were in denial.
The sudden realization made you snap out from your illusion.
NEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOU.
You are a fool.
You really thought he loved you?
What a pitiful sight.
Go and cry, there's no saving you.
Thoughts invaded your mind like a parasite — repeating themselves with not a chance to be stopped.
And what was the sight that made you so unstable? Well, maybe you know it already.
Two people were embracing each other, with the moonlight above them, looking beautiful as a couple. Who were this two, you ask?
Levi, and Petra, obviously.
The petals were awoken once more, and with such a bestial force you never felt before.
Covering your mouth with your hand, you couldn't stop some petals to escape and lay on the floor, by your ignorance. You just ran out of there, and went to the only place your unstable mind wanted you to be.
Erwin arranged his paperwork again for maybe, the sixth time this night. There were never ending letters to respond, check once more the strategies for the upcoming expedition, and more, more letters.
“Seems like a sleepless night, again.” He thought, rubbing his temples.
Little did he know his lack of sleep wouldn't be only the papers.
The sudden noise of someone opening his door made him annoyed— and before he could scold the responsible person, he stopped himself as he saw you kneeling on the floor, vomiting white petals— no, flowers.
Without thinking he went to your side and rubbed your back in a gently manner. He remained calm, but something his sight caught made him horrified.
White flowers were decorated in red.
Outside, he remained clam, but in the inside he was more than worried; if vomiting flowers was a bad sign, vomiting blood with them was far worse.
You eventually stopped; you only could gasp, trying to breath. Your nostrils were leaked water, your lips had blood and saliva, and the only comforting thing that made you sane was Erwin beside you.
“I'm going to die, Erwin,” you could only say, with desperation in your voice. “I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die...”
Erwin tried his best to hush you, “That's not true. We are going to fix this, there's a solution...” and he continued and continued, trying to calm your sobs and pleas. Hearing you like this, so broken, desperate, made something inside him ache. He only embraced you, holding you. You only wanted someone close to you, someone to hold you.
He had to move things fast, and find a way to fix you before it was too late.
“Let's go, then!” a certain blushing girl said, smiling brightly. The raven only nodded with a soft gaze, walking beside her, until something on the floor took his attention.
“Flowers?” Levi thought, looking at the white petals on the floor. Kneeling, he took some and look at them quietly. Beautiful at first sight, hiding the true meaning they had.
“Aren't you coming, Corporal?” Petra said, turned at him.
Levi hummed, covering the little flower on his front pocket, and returned walking, “[Name] is waiting.”
Cyclamen. Cyclamens are symbolic of resignation. It’s the flower that means goodbye too.
Because it is poisonous, death is also attached to its meaning. It also presents the fact that good things come to an end and so it’s also the type of flower you might want to make use of at funerals – because it speaks of departure aside from moving away and retiring.
f i v e
【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist
5
“Sir! Good morning!” [Name] greeted, surprised to see Erwin. It looked like the blond was waiting for him, instead of Zeke.
“Good morning, [Name]. Nice to see you again.” The blond replies, slightly smiling. “Dr. Jaeger will not accompany you today, I will— just to see. Hope you are alright with that.” Erwin remembers the conversation he had with Zeke— he could see the irritation coming from the doctor, and the blond couldn’t suppress a smirk.
I can’t believe even you are like this. Just how many will get in my way, Erwin?
“Of course, sir.” [Name] blinked, “so you will see my sessions for today?”
“Indeed. It’s just for some precaution, [Name], so don’t stress about it.” Erwin smiles, “also, call me Erwin.” The blond gesture him to follow him, which [Name] quickly do. They began to walk, heading upstairs.
“Alright, Erwin.” The young assistant gently says, and Erwin can feel something on his lower area by just hearing his name coming from the other’s mouth.
Clearing his throat, the blond speaks, “did Dr. Zeke told you anything about Bertolt Hoover?”
“He gave me his file yesterday, so I think I’m prepared…” [Name] couldn’t help but being upset by recalling the patient’s backstory, and Erwin instantly noticed his change of demeanor.
“What’s troubling you?”
“It’s just… sad reading what he was force to do. It’s not fair.” He sighs, before looking motivated all of sudden, “I will do everything in my power to help him, Erwin! All of them!”
Erwin looked surprised for a second, eventually slightly smiling by the other’s words. The blond was strangely fascinated by him— Erwin couldn’t help himself to watch every footage from the security cameras where the young male was in. Eventually, Erwin could see the looks Zeke sent to [Name] when he wasn’t looking, confirming Erwin’s suspicions.
Unfortunately for Zeke, Erwin didn’t have any intention to back off.
“I’m glad you are committed for this, [Name].”
。。。。。。。。。
Bertolt Hoover. His mental state seems fine most of the time, unfortunately, his stress level get high, causing panick attacks that make him change to his older self.
Background: He, along with Reiner Braun, was a member of a cult which did horrendous crimes against a certain race. Bertolt’s family was under death threats, forcing him to do all kind of acts. Murder, torture, along other violent things. These acts affected his mental health— he sometimes gets caught on his older self, calling the doctors and nurses ‘devils’. Even if he repents the crimes he committed most of the time, sometimes Bertolt snaps under stress, when a nurse has to give him pills or injections.
“Hello?” [Name] gently greeted, spotting the taller boy, sitting quietly. The assistant instantly smiles, sitting down. He introduced himself, as usual. “May I know your name?”
The taller male sweats, cheeks blushed. “B-Bertolt…”
[Name] brightly smiles, making Bertolt’s heart skip a beat. The brunette can’t help himself but to avert the other’s gaze, feeling embarrassed. The assistant doesn’t catch this, and worries himself by Bertolt’s reaction.
“Am I making you uncomfortable, Bertolt?” [Name] tilts his head, trying to catch the taller’s male attention.
“N-Not at all!” The brunette reassures, meeting [Name]’s gaze. "I-It’s just… I’m not good at talking.“
The young assistant chuckles, "Don’t worry about it, Bertolt! I’m sure both of us will connect easily!” [Name] fondly looks at him, “I will talk a little about me, maybe you can do it when I finish?” Bertolt only nodded, surprised by the look he received. [Name] shortly after began to talk about himself, things the brunette couldn’t pay any attention to.
The gentle look of [Name] was freshly stuck in Bertolt’s mind, He didn’t know when was the last time a look like that was meant for him— it has been years since he felt something warm on his chest. Something that made him feel good; and even if it was something as small as a look —that the doctors and nurses never gave him—, Bertolt couldn’t stop tears from coming, alerting [Name].
“Oh my! Why are you crying? Was it something I said?” [Name] worriedly asked.
The taller male just shacked his head, unable to say anything. [Name] gently took his hand, which was bigger than his, and began to caressing it. “I’m here with you, Bertolt.” The comment only made the brunette cry harder, silently sobbing. [Name] got up and approached Bertolt, and dried his tears with his thumb. “It’s alright…”
That was what Bertolt needed before, and what he needed now. He wanted someone comforting him— not seeing him as a monster. When was the last time he was embraced? comforted? The brunette couldn’t stop himself and tightly hugged [Name], taking him by surprise. Hiding his face on the crook of the assistant’s neck, [Name] was stuck in a uncomfortable position. Bertolt was still sitting, arms around the other’s waist. And so when he was being hold by the other, [Name] was awkwardly sitting on his lap.
Bertolt saw the assistant as the only light on his darkness— even if only a look made him sob and cry, the taller male didn’t ever want to let him go. This person was the only one after all this time that made him warm, and he wouldn’t lose him for anything. Even if he had to kill every devil on this planet, to stay like this, then so will he.
[Name]’s neck was wet by Bertolt’s tears, not that he minded. The assistant softly caressed his hair with a sad expression plastered on his face. The [hair color]-haired male was heartbroken by seeing Bertolt like this— [Name] wondered what could have trigger such a reaction, but nothing came to mind. Maybe he could ask later on another occasion, because right now, it was clear he needed someone close.
However, Bertolt’s mind was slowly clouding with dark thoughts. He didn’t want to ever let go— he enjoyed how warm this closeness made him feel. He loved how the other caressed him like a mother to his child, softly murmuring kind words right on his ear.
Bertolt had to protect him from all the devils.
Bertolt tightened the hold, making [Name] let out a low groan. “B-Bertolt… you are hugging me too tightly…”
The taller male blinked, with no more tears falling. He didn’t intended to hurt his light, his angel. Loosing his grip, Bertolt straighten himself to look at the other. [Name]’s eyebrows were furrowed in worry, looking at the brunette.
“What troubled you, Bertolt? Did I say something?” [Name] gently asked. However, the brunette didn’t pay attention to his words.
Rather, Bertolt was focusing on his [eye color] eyes— soft and gentle looking right at him. The kind face who looked worried, his soft lips moving but nothing could be heard. The taller male couldn’t catch a single lie on his face— only spotting true kindness.
Bertolt looked at [Name] with admiration and sparks on his green eyes— the brunette was looking at him as if he was his savior, and surely, he certainly was. Like an angel or some divine entity, that was Bertolt seeing [Name] as. He will protect him.
The brunette took [Name]’s face with both hands, placing them on his soft cheeks. The assistant was surprised by the action, but remained in silence to see what Bertolt would do next. By his surprise, the patient gave a soft and fast peck on his lips, instantly making [Name]’s cheeks burn.
Bertolt slowly retreated, with both hands still on the other’s cheeks, and intently looked at [Name], focused and determined. “I will protect you from the devils. I promise.”
Let’s just say a certain blond wasn’t very happy about what he was seeing… In fact, he felt furious watching what he considered his being touched— and even kissed! He couldn’t stand seeing the hands touching the assistant’s face and body. Erwin would not allow this going any further, and so, he exited the room he was in to quickly opening the door the session was in, alerting both of the males on the room.
“Erwin? But my time isn’t over?”
“It is over now. Leave.” Erwin demanded, his icy eyes looking at both males, [Name] shivering under it, and Bertolt glaring at him.
Unfortunately to [Name], when he tried to move away, Bertolt’s grip was still strong. “Bertolt… I have to retire from now, can you please let me go?” he murmured,
Erwin, catching what was happening, said, “I strongly advice to let go of him right now, Hoover.”
Bertolt only glared at him, tightly hugging [Name] by his waist. The assistant could feel the tension on the room, and before anything could happen, he tried to make Bertolt comply. “Please, Bertolt. I promise I will return, alright?” Unfortunately, the brunette shacked his head, hugging him closer, just like a child, fearing he would disappear. [Name] sighed, but remained positive. This could be done pacifically, he just had to be a little pushy.
The assistant placed his hands on Bertolt’s cheeks, making him look at him. Quickly, [Name] placed a fast kiss on Bertolt’s nose, and then said, “I promise I will return; we will see each other again, Bertolt. But only if you let me go.”
Erwin’s eye twitched in annoyance by seeing the interaction. His fist tightly clenched, trying to remain calm and patiently wait for this to finish.
Bertolt, who looked unsure, slowly let go. [Name] smiled, finally standing and muttered a thanks. Quickly after Erwin and [Name] left the room, leaving Bertolt alone with his thoughts.
I will protect him…
。。。。。。。。。
The walk was in a uncomfortable silence. [Name] didn’t know what to exactly say, seeing how tensed the blond looked. But before he could speak, Erwin stopped walking, [Name] quickly following.
“You can’t physically touch a patient like that— it is forbidden. You will not do or let that happened again, understood?” Erwin spoke in a deep voice, making [Name] shiver in fear. The poor assistant never imagined to hear the blond sounding so demanding and scary— his whole aura felt cold and heavy.
“B-But… he needed it! Bertolt was just—”
“Hewill not touch you again!” The loud yell silenced [Name], who quickly shifted his gaze to the floor, his hands trembling.
The assistant forgot that even if the blond gave him kind smiles on his first day, that didn’t mean he wasn’t his boss. [Name] felt helpless under this tension, the blond surely had a heavy and demanding aura who told who was in charge here.
Erwin, noticing [Name]’s shaking form, instantly regretted his behavior. Yes, he was furious with what just occurred, but he didn’t want his [Name] to be scared of him. The blond rubbed his temples, sighing.
“I’m sorry, [Name]…” The taller man apologized, lowering his voice, “I was… worried. You don’t know what could happen if you let them cross the line.”
He waited for him to say something, but he only received a nod for an answer. “Can you look at me, [Name]? I apologize with how I reacted.”
Still, the small assistant didn’t look at him. Erwin. impatient, gently grabbed [Name]’s chin and made him look up, meeting his [eye color] eyes. The blond could tell the other was nervous and intimidated by him; something that made Erwin strangely… pleased and conflicted at the same time.
“I apologize.” Erwin said, “but you can’t let them be that close to you; it’s dangerous, and I can’t let something happen to you. Do you understand, [Name]?”
“I… understand, Erwin.” [Name] spoke, unsure. Erwin slightly smiled, caressing [Name]’s cheek with his thumb, before letting go. The tension disappeared, letting [Name] breathe again.
“I’m glad you do.”
um hey. will you ever continue the ‘empty’ series? i was enjoying it when reading it and i can’t find anything like it so… yeah sorry for bothering
hi!! i absolutely will!! i would say it's half done? so hopefully i can post another chapter in a couple of weeks?? ( 。>﹏<。) sorry, my schedule is horrendous.......... i'm glad you like it tho! ;D
【male/gn!reader fanfiction ☆ mostly attack on titan 】hiatus ; reqs into consideration ٩( 'ω' )و٩( 'ω' )وenglish's not my first language, expect trash, self-indulgent writing ☆24
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