Merlin AU: Magic Summoning Strength With Cathbhadh’s Horn

Arthur: So, it's the first week of the new year. How's everyone doing?

Morgana: I crave murder.

Gwaine: I've concocted a drink that lets you go for five full days without sleep!

Elyan: Or so he claims. It has coffee, three different energy drinks, and five shots of espresso.

Merlin, twitching violently: I'VE TESTED IT. IT WORKS.

Gaius: I'm recording the progress of Merlin's slow but inevitable death.

Merlin: I got thrown in the stocks today. Again.

Gaius, sighing: What did you do this time?

Merlin: In the throne room, Uther pointed his sword at me and said "There's an idiot at the end of this sword".

Merlin: So I asked which end.

Gaius:

[Screaming from within the Pendragon-Ambrosius house]

Pizza Delivery Guy: Oh, how old’s your kid?

Arthur: I have ten children from the ages of 29 to 6 in my house.

I feel like this should have been a scene

*DJ Khaled’s voice* Another one Merlin being a sassy little shit, gifset number 54593043 because he just never stops and I won’t too 

Merlin + never quite believing that Arthur can get dressed by himself.

+ Bonus. Arthur the other 99% of the time:

Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

For @forever-rewatching-merlin​ who made me cry over my most favourite merlin fic for the hundredth time.

Die For You In Secret by @emrysofmagic  - In which Merlin and Lancelot start sleeping together at the end of season three, Arthur notices, Gwaine is all too perceptive, and Merlin realizes that the heart’s capacity for love is greater than he ever could have imagined.

Arthur: We need to create a distraction.

Percival: You want me to try? If I flex real hard I can make my shirt explode off of my body.

Arthur: Wait, you can seriously do that?

Gwaine: Oh, yeah! I've seen him do it. One of the buttons flew off and hit Elyan.

Arthur: Mordred, Merlin and I have to attend a meeting in Nemeth, and it's your turn to watch the baby.

Mordred: *looks at Aithusa, eating a plate of raw liver with blood all over*

Mordred: ......The "baby."

Arthur: Yup. We'll be back in a week.

Arthur: *leaves*

Mordred: *looks at Aithusa*

Aithusa: *hisses*

Mordred: Goddess have mercy on me.

Arthur: Oh please, Melin, I’m a prince. So I was born with a certain sense of direction.

Arthur:

Arthur: Now, where are we?