Weridmaggedon Is The Part Of The Washed Away Au I'm Most Looking Forward To Writing. It Is Also The Part

I'm going to reblog this so more people see it. This applies to everyone who's struggling, follow this advice, please.

My friends told me to stop with all the depressing stuff, so like, just out of curiosity, what would y'all think of my like, idk, dying. :3

To follow on from my last post, Nimirylov as promised.

Unless being an alien fish thing counts, in which case, still no, because it's not a secret.

I've said before that Nimirylov has the combined vibes of Odysseus and Penelope so, yeah.

No, he's a prince. He's well behaved, and even if he wasn't, he probably wouldn't be jailed.

Yes. No questions asked. 100%.

Yeah, this makes sense.

No... he has a husband.

No... he works with politics.

I can see this, kind of.

Sure. He got hit by the alien fish equivalent of a bus. Told no one though.

Don't kill yourself, please.

If you’re suffering from depression and are looking for a sign to not go through with ending your life, this is it. This is the sign. We care.

If you see this on your dash, reblog it. You could save a life.

Right after Nimirylov and Ford started dating:

<3

Who wins in a deal between a manipulative triangle and an aspiring alien fish politician?

I failed at drawing Penni's face as a teenager, but I at least drew her hand. She's really having a rough time when Bill approaches her with a deal. I think I'll keep the details about the deal a mystery for now, though.

Nimirylov, how have you been doing after Ford's disappearance? Have you struggled adjusting to becoming a single parent?

(I hope you don't mind the two questions. You can only answer one if it's easier.)

Thank you for your deep questions. They are not something I would normally think about, so I'll answer to the best of my ability.

Ford is dead. That's what I have to keep reminding myself. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. I know he's not coming back, so even if he isn't officially dead, he's dead. I can't give myself, or Penni, any false hope that he'd return to us.

So Ford is dead. That's what I've told everyone, and if they believe it, then I can make myself believe it. I can handle the stages of the grief for someone who's dead. It's so much harder to mourn for someone living.

Other than trying to make myself believe that, I don't think I'm struggling at all. After all, I can't struggle. I don't have the time for it. Luckily, I've been given less work to do lately (they didn't say that, but I can tell), which means I can focus on Penni more.

Becoming a single parent is a struggle in its own right, of course, but I can't seem to focus on that. Nothing compares to the struggle of seeing how much Penni is suffering because of this. She's so young, too young. I have no idea what to do because this isn't a problem I can solve. No amount of comfort will ever bring her dad back for her. That's the real struggle.

I just wish I knew why Ford disappeared. My only lifeline is that I know he didn't do it by choice. His behaviour is always terribly obvious, and I would have known if he was planning to run away. That way, I could've stopped him... If only I knew why he'd disappeared...

Sincerely,

Prince Nimirylov.

I like thinking about what Ford taught Penni about human culture because it's such a mixed bag.

Like, yes, obviously, he taught her about the holocaust. He was raised Jewish and that's an important part of history that his child should know. No, he did not tell her what rain is.

Yes, he told her about how humans drink water because they don't live in it and can't absorb water through gills like she does. No, he did not tell her what middle names are.

How does Penni draw under water? Does she have underwater crayons? Does she eat such crayons?

also, will the Pines ever meet the Fish Family? Would they get along? I’m just imagining Stan making awkward small talk with his brother in law.

also also, will Ford ever escape the Shape of Water jokes?

1. Penni draws underwater because to the fish people species, water doesn’t really get in the way of anything. Water to them is what air is to us, or it's at least similar.

2. As I said above, yes, basically. Don't ask me how they're made. Probably something to do with coral.

3. She doesn't seem to me like the type of kid to eat strange things. She has, however, broken them up into tiny pieces. She likes to destroy things.

4. I think I put this in the comments on one of my previous posts but I can't remember which one. Basically, I can't imagine a way for the Pines to meet the Fish family. I've came up with a small idea of how to get Penni to meet them but I need to figure out the details on that one. (Spoiler alert: it involves a certain type of deal.)

5. If they did all meet though, I think they'd get along. Nimirylov is fluent in English and Penni knows some English because of Ford so communication isn't a big issue. I think the class difference would cause a small divide between them though.

Stan making awkward small talk with Nimirylov would definitely happen. Right before and/or after Stan tries to steal/scam something clearly valuable off of him. Ford wouldn't like them two interacting, though, because if they became friends, it would be a nightmare. Stan as a person + Nimirylov's charisma and natural skill with people?

6. Finally, no, Ford will never escape any jokes that could relate back to his husband, especially. His daughter is less joked about, but they'd still end up happening, too.

Thank you so much for these questions. For all the reasons I said in my post asking for questions and because it just makes my brain happy. I love rambling about Ford's alien fish family, and I love thinking more deeply into it with things I hadn't thought about before. I'm always thinking up more for this au, though.

Stanley would instantly be on alert because this was the last thing he'd been expecting. Scratch that, this had never even been something he'd ever imagined. Not only was this the last place he'd want to reunite with his twin, but clearly, Ford isn't in any state to be reuniting right now.

Ford is in that much of a state of intoxication that Stan can't help but wonder if this is the first time he's ever gotten drunk. Not to mention, he'd never quite pictured Ford getting drunk before, it always seemed too out of character for how nerdy he was.

Stan doesn't know what the people in charge are expecting from him. Obviously, they didn't tell him anything about who he was supposed to sort out other than a basic description, but they would've been able to tell the similarities. They mustn't have wanted him to try and back out before doing it if he'd known that who it was was clearly related to him. Had they then hoped that if he got this far he would be unable to back out?

Well fuck that. Stan doesn't play by the rules, and he's not going to start now. Not when his twin is dangerously drunk and clearly needs to be taken out of here.

So, all he has to do now is get Ford out of here safely. Whether Ford wants to or not. Which seems to be a very high possibility with the way he's drunkenly staring at another slot machine.

Have an idea for a fic that I’m definitely not going to write.

essentially, ford hits a roadblock in his research, but doesn’t summon Bill. He’s just burned out from all that gifted kid syndrome, trying to power through it. His mother recommended he take a break, and the perfect opportunity for that arrived when Fiddleford calls, asking Ford to be his Best Man, and inviting him to his bachelor party.

in Vegas.

so Ford reluctantly goes with Fiddleford and two of his other friends to the city of sin, and Ford completely DESTROYS the casinos. He’s counting cards, he’s worked out the algorithm for when the slot machines hit a jackpot, and he gets SUPER drunk. Ford is having the time of his life cus he gets to use maths to flex on people. And he’s NOT SUBTLE.

so at the end of the night, the casino take Ford out back, and send a goon to beat him up.

and you’ll never guess who the goon is!

so now Stan and Ford have to work together and try to escape the gangs and crime lords that run 1970s Las Vegas.

I call it Gifted Kid Syndrome.

again, not doing anything with it, feel free to do anything with the idea, up to and including wiping your butt with it. Just like, tag me or whatever.