Today All My Employees Were Back After Their Summer Holidays. So To Get A Fresh Start I’ve Been Planning

Today I couldn’t wait any longer I had to listen to some Christmas music. Got so much energy and creativity going. In my dream @taylorswift will release som new Christmas songs this year 🙏🏻🌲

The best alarm for waking up at 6 am ever!!! I will finally get to listen to 1989 (Taylor’s version)

How I try healing and coping through music after loosing a child

Listening to Your loosing me by @taylorswift and this song is definitely my go to song right now. This song helps we so much when it feels like I’ve run out of tears but really need to cry to clear my head.

This time of year is always the toughest for me. The grief comes up to the surface and it’s so overwhelming every time. It’s like it all comes back full force and every cell in my body remembers what happend those days 13 years ago.

We had a great pregnancy and at the ultrasound every thing looked normal. our baby boy was born on September 6 after a normal delivery. At the doctors check up they didn’t find anything out of the ordinary. We stayed at the maternity ward for three days then they asked us to go home. Because it was our first child we felt insecure and asked to stay for another day to get the breastfeeding working smoothly. They assured us that everything was ok and that we should go home and that we could call them if necessary.

I had a feeling something was wrong but because I had nothing to compare with I listened to their advise. Later that evening we went to sleep and I was prepared to wake up and feed him several times during the night. I woke up around 4 am with a strong hunch that something was wrong because he had not made a noice. I looked over at him and he was awake but completely quiet and he wasn’t moving at all. When checking him thoroughly I realise he has blue spots on his arms and at his chest. Immediately I call the hospital and they say it’s completely normal and that he probably has low blood sugar levels. That all I had to do is feed him from a spoon if he was to tired to eat.

I went hysterical and finally they agreed for us to come back for a check up. All this time he looked at us with his beautiful big eyes kind of saying help me!

Little did we know that that first night home with our baby would be the last time we would be able to take him home.

To be continued

Love your smirk and the smile in your eyes,

I can see you and how hard you try.

This summer has been anything but cruel,

Your surprise song versions gave us so much fuel.

The Eras tour is the best thing, beyond my wildest dreams.

So amazing to feel alive again after watching all these live streams.

I’m definitely the lucky one to get to watch the sparks fly, don’t blame me for loving this so much I want to cry.

So grateful to live life (Taylor’s version) by heart, I know it’s not the end just the start.

You create a better place in this world all days. I will love you Taylor forever and always 💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤🩷🩶🤎💙

Another day healing by listening to the lyrics in all of my favourite swift songs. Her voice and wide range truly do resonate with the life changing healing in my mind.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

Today hoax and epiphany long pond session is on repeat 🎧

This Saturday I took my two daughters for 8 h roadtrip though Sweden. We visited some relatives and my soon to be 94 year old grandmother. She needed some help in the garden and with some things around the house. She’s been a such important person in my life growing up so off course I wanted to help her. The kids plugged in their headphones and watched movies the entire trip. I usually spend my time with an audio book or something like that.

This trip I tried something different and it became an amazing experience thanks to Taylor Swift. I took the opportunity to listen to Speak Now the entire trip. Really listening!!!!! I spent the entire 8 hours listening to every word, learning the lyrics and sing my heart out in the car.

I continue to be absolutely amazed with every new lyric I discover. With every beat, the amazing range of her singing voice and the depth of her speaking voice. I’ve never been this affected by anyone else’s music before. @taylorswift you have altered my brain chemistry for ever. Thank you from the bottom of my heart 🙏🏻 I hope you never stop creating beautiful things.

You make this world a better place❤️

Today was my first day back at work after a six week long vaccination. So tired in every cell of my body. This summer has been a new experience for me. It was during this summer I became a true swiftie! What a lovely community to become a part of!

I have always loved music and like many others listened to Taylor’s most popular songs on the radio. Now when I started to listen true all of her discography and really read the lyrics a new world has opened it self. Every day I find a new favourite. Or I think there’s actually isn’t any of her songs that isn’t my favourite. You’re loosing me, hoax, Marjorie, epiphany, New Year’s Day, The lakes, This is me trying, Maroon, mastermind is just some of my must have songs every day. To then be able to switch over to midnights, 1989, and REPUTATION omg. Songs that both can make me cry like a baby and another one that makes me feel so powerful and strong

I didn’t think it was even possible for music to make me feel this much emotions. It feels like I’ve been in a six week long therapy session for sure. I don’t think I’ve cried this much since our son passed away from a heart condition only 13 days old. Even though it’s almost 14 years since it happened I know realise i had so many feelings and tears hid away in my body. Now with the help of you @taylorswift I feel like a lot of weight have fallen of my shoulders and I’m so grateful to you for that.

Your vocals and lyrics mesmerize me in a way that I didn’t think was possible. Today the lakes long pond studio session has been on repeat all day and I’ve been singing it out loud at the office until my colleagues asked me to sit in another room for a while😊

@taylorswift you are a force, an amazing talent and hard working businesswoman. A humble and extremely generous so cool woman. So beautiful from the inside and out I would go to war for you any day and I gladly continue spreading love throughout the world in your spirit.

Thanks to you I now have the courage to be ME!!!

@taylorswift Love you unconditionally❤️

@taylorswift @taylornation

On the kids list of things they wanted to do this summer. Fish and cook outside while listening to Taylor swift

This is so true!!!

girls don’t want the eras tour movie in theaters girls want it on streaming so they can watch it on repeat and cry

How I try healing and coping through @taylorswift ‘s music after loosing a child part 4

The doctor came and told us she needed to have a meeting with us in another room. When we entered the door their was a lot of people inside. They started to present them self as experts, doctors, different nurses and a priest. Right away we knew something was terribly wrong. The told us that they’d found damage in his brain that’s was too severe for them to be able to go through with the lifesaving heart surgery he so desperately needed. They also told us there was nothing else to do than to turn of the machines keeping him alive. We were asked to wait for them to finish some preparations edited we could go and hold him for one last time. They explained that they would turn the machines of take out the tube and that we could hold him in our arms while he took his last breaths. We sat on the bed with him between us holding him and we almost couldn’t breath. Then something happened that none of the doctors could explain. He took a deep breath and started breathing on his own. They tried taking more tests and kept saying he probably would pass away any minute now. We sat in that bed for 24 hours before his breathing started to get worse. But yet once again he started breathing better and his saturation got up again. This happend 3 times during 3 days. The exact same course every time. Not one of the doctors could explain how he could still be alive. We started panicking and wanting them to try more. The problem was that his brain was to damaged to endure the heart surgery. After almost 78 hours I couldn’t stay awake anymore and for just one minute I fell asleep. That’s when he felt he could let go. He passed away in i hospital bed between us sept 18 2009 and we were now parents but without a child. How should we survive this?????

Too be continued…….

Ronan by @taylorswift is my healing song that can make me cry when I need it the most. Even when I feel I’m out of tears.