This Saturday I Took My Two Daughters For 8 H Roadtrip Though Sweden. We Visited Some Relatives And My

On the kids list of things they wanted to do this summer. Fish and cook outside while listening to Taylor swift

Today all my employees were back after their summer holidays. So to get a fresh start I’ve been planning a day of really fun activities together with team building exercises. What they don’t know is that I’ve already this week started giving them hints and Easter eggs to solve the puzzle next week. Today for example we had a music quiz (Taylor’s version). It was so rewarding because several of especially the men were surprised that is was Taylor singing all those songs. They were really amazed by her talent and said that they needed to go home and listen more during the weekend. They even admitted that they were sorry that they had preconceived ideas about her before. This day is soooo fun to plan and I’m looking forward to it so much!!

@taylorswift the community you’ve created is amazing. So inspiring, educating, loving and wonderful. A mesmerising feeling that hundreds of Millions of people all support you in the name of love and acceptance. What a force💪🏻 together we can achieve anything !!!!💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤🩷🤍🧡💙

Another day healing by listening to the lyrics in all of my favourite swift songs. Her voice and wide range truly do resonate with the life changing healing in my mind.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

Today hoax and epiphany long pond session is on repeat 🎧

How I try healing and coping through @taylorswift ‘s music after loosing a child part 4

The doctor came and told us she needed to have a meeting with us in another room. When we entered the door their was a lot of people inside. They started to present them self as experts, doctors, different nurses and a priest. Right away we knew something was terribly wrong. The told us that they’d found damage in his brain that’s was too severe for them to be able to go through with the lifesaving heart surgery he so desperately needed. They also told us there was nothing else to do than to turn of the machines keeping him alive. We were asked to wait for them to finish some preparations edited we could go and hold him for one last time. They explained that they would turn the machines of take out the tube and that we could hold him in our arms while he took his last breaths. We sat on the bed with him between us holding him and we almost couldn’t breath. Then something happened that none of the doctors could explain. He took a deep breath and started breathing on his own. They tried taking more tests and kept saying he probably would pass away any minute now. We sat in that bed for 24 hours before his breathing started to get worse. But yet once again he started breathing better and his saturation got up again. This happend 3 times during 3 days. The exact same course every time. Not one of the doctors could explain how he could still be alive. We started panicking and wanting them to try more. The problem was that his brain was to damaged to endure the heart surgery. After almost 78 hours I couldn’t stay awake anymore and for just one minute I fell asleep. That’s when he felt he could let go. He passed away in i hospital bed between us sept 18 2009 and we were now parents but without a child. How should we survive this?????

Too be continued…….

Ronan by @taylorswift is my healing song that can make me cry when I need it the most. Even when I feel I’m out of tears.

The best alarm for waking up at 6 am ever!!! I will finally get to listen to 1989 (Taylor’s version)

How I try healing and coping through @taylorswift ‘s music after loosing a child part 3

His birthday is the day after tomorrow and this year he would have turned 14. He managed to get through the night and the next day around 11 am the helicopter finally was cleared to fly. Immediately they got him in there and flew him to the other side of the country. We jumped in our car and started driving the 7 hours to be with him in Gothenburg. When we arrived at the hospital we got a room at the Ronald McDonald house. A house where family’s can live close to the hospital. We where told that if everything went well we probably would have to stay here for up to a year this first time around. From the house to the hospital room it was like 100 meters and it felt good to be able to be so close to him. We had ended up at queen Silvia children’s hospital at the heart specialist centre for kids. They explained to us that his body had some problems since his heart stoped the first time and that he needed a couple of days to recover before being strong enough for surgery. We spent all ours awake by his hospital bed. Helping caring for him, holding his hand, singing to him and writing a journal so that we could tell him when he got older what we all had been through. Everyday the staff noticed small improvements and his vitals steadily got better. We could see that he reacted to our voice and when the staff told us the machines showed he was stressed we sang the song we sang for him when he still was inside. This always helped and almost immediately his vitals got better and his heart rate improved. On day 7 he finally was so strong that we got to hold him skin to skin again. So scary to hold him with all tubes connected the every part of him. We sat there scared to move and it was an amazing feeling to finally being able to hold him again. Next there was a final X-ray planned to check that everything looked ok before the surgery.

To be continued……….

Writing this listening to Ronan by @taylorswift

This song has helped me so much and I can’t even understand how she manages to sing it without breaking down. It’s a incredible beautiful song that helps me out words to my grief. Thank you Taylor for this one❤️

Today I’ve been looking at photos of our son and thinking of him a lot. Now its about one week til his birthday. This time of year is extra hard because it’s brings up so many memories. After dinner this evening is was loading the washing machine when Ronan by @taylorswift started playing on my phone and I broke down completely. Crying like never before in a pile at the floor. It has always felt like a really sad song but today the words reminded me more than ever of the son we lost. Sometimes I really need too cry like this to heal. Thank you Taylor for all the music you’ve created that helps me sort my feelings when I need to. 🙏🏻❤️

How I try healing and coping through @taylorswift ‘s music after loosing a child part 2

We lived really close to the hospital and we arrived there in under five minutes. It’s now around 9 am. The nurses behind the glass looked at us and just continued talking to each other. Finally they came out and asked us to follow them into a examination room. We got him out of his car seat and put him on the table. As soon as we laid him down he collapsed and the nurse picked him up and ran inte to another room. We run after and in the matter of seconds several doctors and nurses came running in the room working on him. We just stood there in the back of the room frozen by terror not knowing what’s happening. After a few seconds one of the doctors turnes around and says. Just so you know, he might not make it. Then we both fell into a pile on the floor not even being able to breathe.

In what seems like forever they managed to get him back and after getting the hold of all necessary equipment they tell us they are going to try to move him to the ICU.

Now they do a really thorough search of what’s causing this. And after several tests, ultrasounds and X-rays they find that he has a birth defect on his heart called hlhs. We find out that several of the hearts bloodvessels are to narrow and connected the wrong way. It Also means that the left chamber of his heart is severely underdeveloped. He also has a hole between to parts of the heart.

They inform us that to have a chance he needs to be transferred by helicopter to the other side of the country to a hospital were they specialises in children’s heart diseases and there he will need the first of many heart surgery’s immediately. That if every thing checks out he will have 95% chance of a long life just not like a professional athlete. It will be a struggle with many surgeries to fix the heart and then most likely a heart transplant in his 20,s. We’re also told that we most likely will have to live at the hospital the entire family for his first 8-10 months. So now all we have to do is to wait for the helicopter to arrive so that they can move him as soon as possible.

The hours went by and when we wouldn’t stop asking they finally tell us that their sorry but the helicopter hasn’t passed the i inspection and hasn’t been granted permission to fly. They continue testing several times but it just don’t pass the inspection.

Now even the doctors are getting really concerned and tell us that he really needs to be moved because they aren’t used to treat so small children with such a severe condition’s . Now they start to gather an expert team through videoconference with experts from the entire country. They decide he needs to be moved immediately to the closest specialist hospital if he is going to have a chance surviving the night.

I get to see them loading him in to an specialistambulance and then they put me in a taxi. We drove really fast for about 1 hour. The taxi stayed right behind the ambulance the entire time. We arrived at the next hospital around midnight. And now their experts were working every minute with him to get him to survive until the helicopter would be granted to fly.

To be continued

Today I couldn’t wait any longer I had to listen to some Christmas music. Got so much energy and creativity going. In my dream @taylorswift will release som new Christmas songs this year 🙏🏻🌲

This is so true!!!

girls don’t want the eras tour movie in theaters girls want it on streaming so they can watch it on repeat and cry