૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 11

𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚎𝚍 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢? 𝚒 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒 𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚎𝚍. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒'𝚟𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚏-𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚝. 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑. 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎

I’m going back to starving

reblog if your an active ed account oct 2023 ♡

my edblr is dry looking for mutuals!

i cant wait to be able to feel and see my hip bones and collar bones again. i don’t know how i ever convinced myself to recover from ana and then on top of that develop a b.e.d

I noticed yesterday that creame colored flare jeans were looser on me than last time and I am really happy.

Same with my mom fit kinda jeans and my fave pink sweater. It is exhilarating to notice these things.

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 9

Been fasting all day, yippee! It was really cold today and had to wear a sweater and a jumper over it and both of them felt looser.

Tomorrow will be a bit warmer fortunately, but overall I am glad that autumn is finally showing up, even though it was kinda late this year.

I also went shopping with mom and I saw so so SO many nice knitted sweaters. I always like just trying clothes on or just looking at the colors, feeling the fabric, trying to find the best kind of material. I uses to buy XXL clothes to feel comfortable in, to feel that they are lose on my body. This time I bought an XL and it felt loose and comfortable, even though I only lost 5kg so far.

I also bought hairdye with my classmate and dyed my hair from a poopie blonde and greenish blue to a color that matches Hatchi's haircolor. My ends stayed a lilac color because the blue stained my hair pretty bad, but it's fine because I will dye my hair until it fades or comes out.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➀ Plain black coffee - 0 cal

➀ Pickwick green tea 250ml (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0 cal

Water - 1.2l/2l

Full - 0 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 11499/10000 - 462 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 462 cal

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 5.

As happy as I was in the morning, I broke my fast of 42 hours because of a bowl of pasta and few pieces of broccoli. Then later my mom informed me that we are having pizza for dinner, even tho I deliberately asked her not to tempt me and allow me to get weak when I say I crave a certain thing.

In the end it was fine, I restarted my fast an hour or two later and now I am fasting through friday and the majority of saturday.

I am still really weak when it comes to certain food and that's fine. I know that my willpower is not the best but it's getting better.

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

➀ Plain black coffee - 0 cal

➂ Slices of pizza - 612 cal

➀ Spagetti pasta and broccoli with thousand island dressing and hot sauce 225g - 272 cal + 108 cal

➀ Hell energy drink 250ml (ginger & lemon) - 47 cal

Water - 1,7l/2l

Full - 1042 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8335/10000 - 335 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 335 cal

I need a boyfriend to scream at me when I gain and let me starve and to buy me cute gifts when I lose weight

૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 16

Today was surprisingly really cold, but fortunately not as cold to have the winter coat out just yet.

Other than going to school and coming home, nothing really note worthy happened.

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➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal

➁ Boiled eggs with hot sauce - 156 cal

➁ Green apples - 139 cal

➀ Tuna with hot sauce and light mayo 62g - 134 cal

Water - 1.4l/2l

Full - 429 cal

✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧

Steps - 8973/10000 - 359 cal

Exercise - No - 0 cal

Burned - 359 cal