Latest Posts by chkeononeanothr - Page 2
when it’s really bad again and it’s still way better than it used to be but it’s still really bad. and you do all the right stuff and you try and try and it still really hurts but it’s working but it still hurts and you go see the beautiful majesty of nature and your soul is so close to being at peace but your mind is still in pain. and it’s better but it’s still bad. and the sun is setting.
Good morning, you have to be the thing that saves you
ive been watching the dog motif show... why is no one talking about this guy. isaac lahey come home from france,,,, sweet boy,,,, we miss you,,,
something something isaac lahey losing his older brother as a kid and derek hale also losing his siblings, older and younger. isaac staying loyal to derek long past the point that he probably should've only to ultimately be kicked out by derek very shortly after derek got his actual younger sister back, after directly using isaac as a tool to find her. the show trying to imply that isaac was romantically interested in cora but doing such a half assed job at it that it's both possible and objectively more interesting to interpret his curiosity about her as some kind of jealousy. is this anything?
Destiel is so good bc its love as corruption and love as salvation at the same time for both of them. Dean is corrupting cas he's making him feel emotions hes making him feel doubt he's leading him astray from the heavenly purpose he's had for millions of years but dean is saving cas, he's teaching him love and empathy and free will even if its in his incredibly flawed, human way. Cas is corrupting dean he's threatening to crack the facade dean has worked so hard to construct he betrays dean he leaves him he makes him confront things about himself he never wanted to. But he's also saving dean, he sees the good in him when dean himself cannot, he softens him and makes him laugh and he literally rebuilt deans soul and gave him something new to believe in. They ruin eachother and yet they saved each other from what they both almost became.
I need to have an it/its weekend
Here's what sticks in my craw: why ON EARTH does fanon imagine that Cas has 'self-esteem issues' and experiences his love for Dean as a wet, miserable kind of yearning? What is it about any part of anything that happens on Supernatural makes anyone think that Cas, a cosmic, Eldritch being, a warrior of god, who literally hung the stars and has existed for a bazillion years, is reduced to teenage angst by Dean's pussy?
Like, when Cas says "the one thing I want I know I can't have" why do y'all think it's a piece of Dean's ass? Why does ANYONE think Cas doesn't know Dean loves him? Dean has shown Cas he loves him with literally everything he has again and again and again. Even the way Dean feels like Cas can absorb his anger is Dean showing Cas love and trust. Cas and Dean have chosen each other, forgiven each other, and been the only reliable thing in each others' lives over, and over and over again. Cas fucking knows that Dean loves him. Cas can literally hear Dean's thoughts, and feel his yearning. Cas was only saying the quiet part out loud when he said he loved Dean, because it was already obvious! If there was anyone feeling wet and lovesick, it would be DEAN, if he ever had a break in the battle to fucking feel things, which he did not.
Like, hear me out: what if the one thing Cas knows he can't have is the one thing he knows he signed over to the empty? His happiness, and by extension, Dean's, because he knows Dean loves him? What if Cas is saying: I know I can't have this thing I want for myself: to be the one to MAKE YOU HAPPY, but I can save you, and maybe Cas's belief in Dean is such that he still hopes and believes Dean will find a way to make himself happy if he lives.
After Cas's death, Dean is trying to live for him. Trying to be what Cas believed he was. It's what CANONICALLY gives Dean the strength to defeat Chuck by not killing him! And, after Dean's death, he CANONICALLY goes in search of happy endings. Like... THAT IS EXPLICITLY STATED.
I AM HAVING AN ALL CAPS MOMENT, SO SUE ME.
Guys, Cas is not a wet, yearning baby who needs Dean to say or do ANYTHING to validate his love. HE KNOWS. He is a being of unimaginable age and power. He is not beleaguered by self-esteem issues, or the need to tongue-wrestle Dean. Like, he might WANT TO, but he CANONICALLY does not need to in order to experience a happiness so complete that it puts paid to his deal. His happiness is THAT NOW DEAN ALSO KNOWS, and he can tell Dean why, and show him who he is in the mirror of that love.
Also, he is not dead, he is just on another plane of existence, and neither is Dean. Cas is a profoundly unselfish badass. He is not fucking PINING. He made a play, the best one he had. He is a strategist, and he knows Dean BY HEART.
To myself: “It’s ok to make bad art it’s ok to make bad art it’s ok to make bad art it’s ok to make bad art”
*the art is bad*
if a character means enough to me i will truly never stop thinking about them. i just retire them into a little back room in my brain and periodically bring them out to stare at them under a little light
Rewatching SPN is such a journey tbh.
Like Cas falls for Dean Winchester in season 4. And the writer told us we were wrong and the internet said we were wrong hell the actors said we were wrong. Being a teenager and trying to understand your own identity and watching a show you love bash its brains in. It’s watching Cas rebel against his own family, his own morals; against heaven, hell, God for one man and realizing that’s what love is. Love is brutal and broken and not perfect syrupy sweet. It’s work but not to me not if it’s you.
They made a love story without trying and mocked us to tell us we were wrong. What is love if not standing in the face of cruelty? Did they mean for it to be that meta? Love is accepting the worst parts of something and loving it anyways. The show is bad and terrible and I’ll love it until my dying breath.
Dean dies without ever saying I love you back. A man doomed to a narrative he never wanted. He wanted love and family. He died before his family and his love is ripped away. A show doomed to its worst parts of itself.
Anyways I start season 6 today :))
an act of rebellion
4x01 "Lazarus Rising" / 4x02 "Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester" / Paradies Lost, John Milton (illustration by Gustave Doré) / Jeremiah 51:20 / 10x14 "The Executioner's Song" / 7x21 "Reading is Fundamental" (screencap by [?]) / 4x07 "It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester" / 4x16 "On the Head of a Pin" / 8x21 "The Great Escapist" / 8x10 "Torn and Frayed" / The Vault, Andrés Cerpa / 8x17 "Goodbye Stranger" / 6x20 "The Man Who Would Be King" / 7x01 " Meet the New Boss" / The Divine Comedy - Paradise, Dante Alighieri (illustration by Gustave Doré) / 4x20 "The Rapture" / 5x18 "Point of No Return " / 9x22 "Stairway to Heaven" (screencap by @xofemeraldstars) / not strong enough, boygenius
i just need to grow my hair out -> i just need to cut my hair -> i just need to grow my hair out -> j just need to cut my hair
The only two times we saw Crowley kissing something/someone was when he was losing them
insanely beautiful how dean asked cas not to change, fully convinced a change for the worst would be his fault, and still castiel changed and he told dean it was because of him and before dean could feel any guilt about it he made sure dean understood the changes he went through were for the best because being able to experience a love like the one castiel has for dean could never be considered anything but something wonderful and full of joy
we DO grow old and happy. btw.
Do you even know how lovely winter would be if we could nest and rest like nature intended? It gets dark soon and we're sleepy because we are supposed to sleep a lot.
Let me sleep a lot covered in blankets
Probably preaching to the choir here since the spn people who follow my tumblr already know this, but for anyone who needs to hear it, no, Jensen was not "blindsided by the confession." He was filled in months in advance. He had months to ponder it. He and Misha talked about it. Misha and Jensen talked about it with Bobo. They all talked about. We've been told this, in bits and pieces, from various sources. The reason Bobo told Misha first was because by necessity, Misha needed to adjust how he played Cas in the final season to make it a bit more overt. On things that previously had been an undercurrent, and there in the performance, but when they realized that the confession was going to be greenlit, they realized they could lean on it more instead of treading carefully. Misha himself, fyi, said for years, he thought Cas was kinda into Dean and he put a bit of that into his performance, but Misha also was surprised they were permitted to go so far in openly acknowledging that feeling with 15.18, finally.
The reason Jensen wasn't told right off is that Dean couldn't know how Cas felt, and Jensen's method isn't to read ahead, he's told us many times, he doesn't read ahead because he wants Dean's reactions to be as organic as possible. So that was by necessity so Jensen would be playing Dean oblivious to just how far Cas's feelings towards him went. This was an actual plot point of Dean doubting their bond even. He was still informed well ahead of time, with plenty of time for discussion and processing and nothing we have ever heard has indicated he had any negative feeling whatsoever or wariness about Cas's confession.
Jensen in fact was visibly and openly pleased with 15.18 and the confession, as evidenced in PR interviews and all this has been heavily documented already. He has repeatedly praised the episode, and every time he sounds so proud of it and so excited, and he indicated on repeat occasions how excited he was for fans to see it.
In his post-spn comments, Jensen has said he wants to do a follow up where Dean and Cas get to talk about the goodbye scene and Jensen expressed that Dean was devastated, and that Dean wishes he'd told Cas I love you too and hugged him back. There's other examples I could cite.
Make-believe wankbaiting games from bitter anti-shippers is not ever going to make it so that Jensen was snuck up on, conspired against, stabbed in the back, or "blindsided" by the 15.18 confession. Once he was filled in he immediately held Misha's cape and supported Misha and Cas expressing himself.
God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour
I love when the music feels like it is hitting me with hammers
If it keeps you from killing yourself it's not stupid. This applies to anything btw.
they call me "mr. bad at explaining" because well. um. uhh. actually nevermind
stomach hurts from hunger. stomach hurts from eating. what the hell do yuou want from me you stupid fucking organ
ftwillz poems are so cool, frank’s honestly such a good writer. but in a unique way?? because it’s not pretty or full of metaphors like normal poetry. it’s so FRANK… both in the sense that it’s so him and so honest. he’s very straightforward and brutal and dirty in his writing, and that’s what makes it cut so deep
i don’t think we talk about the way frank utilizes costume, and specifically uniforms, enough. white pants and shirts with sharpied ø’s, the death spells striped sweaters, white standard low wage “salaryman” looks with black ties, the boiler suits, the scrubs, the hospital gown. that frank has always emphasized that he liked “bands that look like a band,” that he stated the jumpsuits were a kind of mindset, that they wore them to understand themselves as technicians, that they would go to work and work on their craft, it was a type of dedication to their artistry. that frank tends to lean towards blue collar workers, towards the unglamorous reality of everyday healthcare workers, towards the unglamorous reality of being one of their patients. that when frank wears white, there’s nothing to hide. all the dirt, all the filth, all the sweat, all the blood, his vulnerability will always be visible, apparent. i think there’s something so important there in his solo work, not only with the content of his music, but that he spent so long dressed in black, dressed in red, in colors that absorb all the filth because they needed to be bulletproof. but that frank chose white as a common thread amongst his solo work, that he would force us to confront all of it there on that canvas, all the blood in joyriding, all the confetti and cake and glitter in great party, all the filth from on stage, all the sweat and dedication, that in a way he made himself a canvas for all that passion and all the scuffs along the way.