Halsey // Drive

i dont want this.

why it is that i have the worst timing. im saying this because currently im falling for you and i don’t know what to do because i don’t want this. im not saying that i don’t want you of course i do it’s just that i know this isn’t gonna work. im sorry that im so negative it’s just that i always screw things up and these relationship stuff never works out with me. im too clingy, i need attention or else i overthink and think you don’t want me anymore, or that im just too emotional and that im a total mess. but i can’t help myself, im just constantly falling when i see you, when you talk to me, and when you show the slightest affection towards me. i never expected to fall for someone like this again. you’re there for me when i need it, you’re the one person right now that i truly trust and has been always there for me. and i don’t know what im gonna do when that time comes and you leave and i never see you again. i don’t want that time to come but it is and there’s no way of avoiding it because it’s gonna happen. maybe in months, weeks, or maybe in a few days but that day will come that we’ll be strangers again. unless you feel that this can work and that you’ll do everything you can to keep this relationship we have. that you won’t care that im an emotional mess, or that i overthink. you’re simply gonna fall for me as much as i fell for you.

incredible

to fall in love with someone who’s been your best friend since the beginning, could be the best way to fall in love. to be in love with your best friend you feel as if this is the person who you want to be with for the rest of your life. you know how they are when they’re mad, upset, happy, and excited. you get to grow and change with them throughout the years you’ve been friends and till the end. to have a person like that in your life is a blessing, and will give you the most incredible feeling ever. the memories you’ll make with them will just remind you how happy they’ve made you and will just remind how you’re best friend is also the love of your life.

i fell

im falling because you pushed me, and im mad because you’re so damn adorable. you had to tell me im beautiful and tell me that you want me. you made me fall for you. but are you gonna catch me?

the answer to that is yes. you’re going to be there whenever i need someone, you’re gonna be there at my darkest times, i know that because over the past few weeks of us getting to know each other you’ve shown me that you are gonna catch me..

~c.e

years

why am i thinking about you? why are you in my head after all these years? i’ve let it go, the memories, everything. so why is it that any little thing is making me think about you?

people come and ask me “have you had your first love” then first thing that comes in mind is you. yeah you probably weren’t my first love but then i think, what if we never ended things? what if i never ended things?

but we’ll never know because you obviously don’t think about me and wonder about these things. plus you’ve moved on.

mel·an·chol·yˈ

melənˌkälē/

noun

1.a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause."an air of melancholy surrounded him"

thought

i find myself thinking about you. i’ve thought about what you could be doing, what you’re thinking, or about you being here. and i can’t stop. i find myself thinking about you again and there’s nothing i can do rather than to bury my love for you.

warmth

it’s now 3:30 am and i cannot stop thinking. i’ve been thinking about you, me, and us. i’ve thought about the bad times. arguments, our break, and scaring moments where i felt like i was losing you for good. but i’ve also started to think about the good times that knock out the bad. like cuddling in your warmth as the sun goes down, feeling how soft your lips are as they touch mine, and simply hearing your sweet voice. here alone in my bed desperately craving all of it. all of you. wishing right now to have your arms and warmth surrounding me. all i want is you. nothing else but you.