Carenjadee - Untitled

growth

a mind possible of thinking about anything a body fit to run around all day through the fields a age where you feel free to wonder and i’m here reminiscing about yesterday the mind focused on the work the body of a child is all grown up the age where you want to be rebellious and i’m here thinking about today not sure about what to do not sure if you’ll achieve your goals not sure if you’re free to wonder and i’m here wondering about tomorrow ~c.e

can’t help falling in love

problem

I just add on to all your other problems. I make you down constantly. your life would be so much easier if I wasn't apart of it. you don’t deserve this, you deserve someone better. someone who doesn't add on to your problems. someone who makes you happier not down. you deserve someone who isn't me.

I’m sorry I'm like this but I can't help it. I constantly think of why. why me? why does he love me? and I can never understand why. I'm not good for you. you shouldn't have to deal with this constant pain and burden of having to deal with me. I'm sorry.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BoG0dAojJM0/?

like lovers do - igor oro

I loved the way the sun wrapped around you, like a dress woven from strands of light.

I loved the way you stayed close to me, as we held hands walking the empty streets at night.

I loved the way your eyes glimmered with hope, like a diamond pulled from the earth polished for the first time, or the way your smile could break through the eyes of the blind.

I loved your innocence, untainted by time and inbound by fate.

I loved your curiosity, and how you were cautious enough, enough to know what’s at stake.

The only problem was I was too used to heartbreak.

I became best friends with disappointment and I lost my belief in fate. So familiar with bad timing, I was always at the wrong place, until i realized I couldn’t go on seeing you as just a friend; I got so good at telling lies that even I started to believe them.

So now I’m gonna out my heart on the line and speak from my soul to let you know that your touch is really the only thing I can feel anymore. The glisten in your eyes, is the only thing I can see anymore. I wanna bring you close and whisper in your ear like lovers do, these soft spoken words weighed down heavy with truth.

Because honestly, all I want is to hold you as the sun goes down and not let go until it comes back up. I wanna be that warm connection that you crave whenever you feel a certain touch, I wanna be that rush of adrenaline that envelopes you as you get close enough to the climatic peck of a moment you’ve never felt before, that heavenly moment when you can’t take it anymore, then I want to be arms you fall into as you slip into a peaceful sleep, relieved of all that tension; let your guard down I’ll be your wall of protection. I wanna be the ship to steer you in the right direction, and if ever you should hit an iceberg and feel like you’re about to drown, I’ll be the cocoon of oxygen that surrounds you; Breathe me into your dreams, I want to be the seams that bind all you emotions together, I wanna be your fantasy, your idea of forever, I wanna be the roof over your head to shelter you from the rough weather, I wanna be the guy that sweeps you off your feet; I wanna be the pair of eyes you suddenly meet in a crowded place, I want to be the face of everything you’ve ever though you didn’t deserve, the voice of everything they said you couldn’t achieve.

Because the truth is..

You can become anything you dare to believe.

But most importantly..

I want you to know..

That even though this love of our might not have lasted. I would still walk with you to the end of the world..

And then past it.

what if

what if i never did what i did? would it still be hard knowing that you deserved better, that if you were with someone else you’d be happier? maybe

but i cant go back. im stuck with the decision of letting you go and that i was too scared of being with you and disappointing you. yeah i know its dumb but what can i do now? its not like i can go back?

i have a question, do you ever think about me? yes i know this is dumb and the answer is probably no because i hurt you. but i just wanna know because i think about you. yeah i know you’re probably thinking why and maybe kinda pissed but i do and its all these little things that trigger it, like the stuff that trigger memories. happy ones. but really i just want to know if you ever just a little thought about me.

well yet again you’re never going to see this…

emotional night

i begin to think about how lonely nights have felt. im beginning to drown in my own thoughts on how physically im not lonely, i have family and friends who i know love me. but im emotionally lonely, i feel as if im gonna feel this loneliness till the end. it’s frightening because i know is one of the possible outcomes of my life.