Late

Absolutely nonsensical how I have to get out of bed after all I've done for this world

Build me up

Another one of my packages arrived today! There’s just a few more that I’m waiting for. Though it didn’t make me feel the motivation and determination for my new life that I had earlier, it felt wonderful to dress up and look nice. :)

I walked up to a hill with some friends today and watched the sunset- average teenage things, yes, but it was pretty to see the lit city skylines and the stars hanging up in the sky.

I feel like I’ve kind of lost my energy for my new life, but that doesn’t mean I can't still make it to the finish line- I’m still willing to put in all the effort I need. By the weekend, I should be able to move in a desk and mirror into my room!

Going to visit my tài pó on Sunday, I’ll figure out what flowers to bring by then. For now, though- I should definitely sleep. Sorry for the poorly written post, I’m exhausted.

<3 Caramel

Late dinner after a long day

Good food bought for a discount at the end of the day. The nice lady running the shop gave me an extra box for free, too! ♪ヽ(´▽｀)/^

I took this photo a while ago, but I only came across it in my photo gallery today. I decided it'd be fun to post before I studied :)

New life, new motivations??

I feel like a new person. I don’t know what the mental switch was, but I really do feel like someone completely different. For the first time in so, so, long, today I got the urge to exercise! I’m saying goodbye to lying on the floor and never wanting to get up for the rest of my life, goodbye to my horrid self-isolation and unmotivated slugging around. I feel like I’ve stumbled upon something wonderful!

And even though I’m not living in my dream room or wearing my dream clothing, or even have dream grades- I feel so much better just living as a different person, crossing over through lives from a saggy, depressing one to a completely new and bright one! I couldn’t be happier for my personality of smoke and mirrors- after practicing, I can convince even myself that I have likes and dislikes now. I’ve started to enjoy actually doing things, and have been making myself a whole heck of a lot happier meanwhile.

After measuring myself, I can tell that I’ve definitely gained some weight from my prime. No worries, though- now that I’ve started working out again, and am enjoying it, I’m sure I’ll get it all off before my clothes arrive!

For now, though- it’s getting very late. I’ll be setting my alarm really early, excited for tomorrow for once. I honestly cannot believe how quickly I’ve started living in this personality! It feels so fresh to be productive and have the energy to do things now. I’m almost living my dream, I can tell! So, so close.

Goodbye for now, I’ll write tomorrow!

<3 Caramel

Shenanigans

Taking a break from the drab and depressing subjects about growing up for a while. I've made a new friend at school, and she helps me take my mind of a lot of stressful stuff I've had sticking to my mind. We can talk for hours, and she even taught me how to make flower crowns, too!

After noticing how much happier I felt when spending time with her and working with my hands, I've started to feel a lot better. Maybe things are looking up?

In other news, I've recently come across an old scout troop activities book that I remember finding in a box that said "free books"- looking at the stamp on the inner cover, it seems to have belonged to an actual scout troop!

I've found their contact and will hopefully be seeing if they're still around or want the book. :)

- Caramel

The Nintendo DS Eshop closes soon! :(

Starting March 27th, 2023, Nintendo is closing the doors to its eshop for the Nintendo 3DS systems and the Wii U. This means no more access to purchasing games or downloading demos, even through download codes. Even more, any payment feature on the systems will be disabled, including the Streetpass Mii Plaza, Nintendo Badge Arcade, and theme shop.

This means that today and tomorrow are the last days you can [legally] download this kind of content to your 3DS or Wii U system!

Since 2022, Nintendo has restricted users from adding funds directly to a 3DS account, but this can be sidestepped through a linked Nintendo Network ID wallet.

Thankfully, we can still enjoy online play, the only restriction being transactions.

I'll miss it so much!! Thank you, Nintendo eShop, for so many fun games! I'll be charging my 3DS today to buy Stella Glow through a friend's recommendation. Does anyone have any last-minute game suggestions?

<3Caramel

Not sure if this helps but I don't really believe that knowing we'll die in the end changes anything.

Do you listen to a song just because it ends?

Do you read a book just to close the cover in a few days?

Look, I'm no fully grown adult with a grip on life or a real job or anything, but I'm a bit of a believer in just trying to make the best of things while we're here. The time limit isn't really the end goal per se, but it's something to give our lives value.

What's the point in living forever anyways? With an ~80 year lifespan, these days matter!

Or at least, that's what I believe in theory. Might want to consult @aletheia-mou for more thoughts on life, since I've kind of reached a point in this line of thought that satisfied my need for knowledge in this area.

Hang in there<3

Caramel

☆ Meaningless? ☆

What's the meaning of life? I need an answer--not something along the lines of "it's all about self-discovery!" Discovering one's life is part of the journey, but if that's all there is to life, I don't want any part of it. If it's truly the case, then I discovered that my life is full of wrath and meaningless things. I use too much oxygen and produce too much carbon dioxide. My presence is negative even on an environmental level. My life is all about academics I swear. Although I love academia, it kinda sucks that I am 2 dimensional outside of school. Why should I even pity myself? Maybe everything happens for a reason. I'm gonna die anyway sooner or later.

I hope it's sooner rather than later.

(o´∀`o)

A larger image of my room plan!

A sharp turn

HOLY MOLY I’VE JUST HAD A GORGEOUS IDEA. In my brain it’s so likely to work I think it really will. I need a rational mind to bounce my ideas off of because this is a ltitle too happy for my tastes and I’m feeling manic?? Or maybe this is just regular excitement and I’m not used to it.

My dad is not being my rational mind he is fanning the flames and thinks it may be possible as well is he delusional too or could this actually work

Winter Celebration art #1

I plan to draw a ton of these little pictures before christmas, print them out, and give them to my friend(left) with his gift.

I'll post one whenever I finish it, so hopefully this motivates me!