New Life, New Motivations??
New life, new motivations??
I feel like a new person. I don’t know what the mental switch was, but I really do feel like someone completely different. For the first time in so, so, long, today I got the urge to exercise! I’m saying goodbye to lying on the floor and never wanting to get up for the rest of my life, goodbye to my horrid self-isolation and unmotivated slugging around. I feel like I’ve stumbled upon something wonderful!
And even though I’m not living in my dream room or wearing my dream clothing, or even have dream grades- I feel so much better just living as a different person, crossing over through lives from a saggy, depressing one to a completely new and bright one! I couldn’t be happier for my personality of smoke and mirrors- after practicing, I can convince even myself that I have likes and dislikes now. I’ve started to enjoy actually doing things, and have been making myself a whole heck of a lot happier meanwhile.
After measuring myself, I can tell that I’ve definitely gained some weight from my prime. No worries, though- now that I’ve started working out again, and am enjoying it, I’m sure I’ll get it all off before my clothes arrive!
For now, though- it’s getting very late. I’ll be setting my alarm really early, excited for tomorrow for once. I honestly cannot believe how quickly I’ve started living in this personality! It feels so fresh to be productive and have the energy to do things now. I’m almost living my dream, I can tell! So, so close.
Goodbye for now, I’ll write tomorrow!
<3 Caramel
More Posts from Caramelsprout and Others
Little effort, little give
I ended up cleaning up most of the floor and a couple corners of my room. It's really, really, messy. Tomorrow's Monday, and that's when March break officially starts- so maybe I'll be able to wake up early and clean up my bed and desk area? Hopefully my closet can be cleaned out too.
After thinking for a while, I've decided to pack all the stuff I'd like to keep and bring into my future room into boxes as if I were moving- it'll keep me minimal and I think it'll really help.
For now, though- I haven't even been able to find a box to put my things into. Instead, I'm using garbage bags.
Not too much of a looker. But once my room's done, I swear everything will look great! That's right- I'm hopeful for once. So hopeful, in fact, that I've drawn out a little plan for what my room will look like- hopefully by the end of the break!
A big goal to be finished in a week and a half- I hope it all end well.
It's pretty late right now, so while I'm so focused on turning my life around, I'll be fixing my sleep schedule too. My grades are next!
<3 Caramel
They think I'm busy and enigmatic and unavailable but I just can't control myself and keep eating foods that give me digestive issues
The dissonance of facing dreams
There’s something so desperately magical about knowing that soon, an old dream of yours is about to come true. For the longest time, I’ve wanted to live the clean and fresh life of “that asian kid“- the pocky-fueled, day-planning, goldfish-having kid with a metric ton of cute clothing and a futon in their room- not to mention, high As in every class.
And recently, I’ve been getting closer to that dream than I ever thought I could- I’ve had to pay for my own clothes, work my own job, and clean up my room- stained with the years of a depressing, apathetic, indifferent personality. But impossibly, everything started to fall into place. I finally scrapped up enough energy to get up and clean, start to integrate myself into my new personality, start to see my dream come true- and it felt enchanting.
It didn’t feel real.
Is this me?
Did I work hard enough?
Am I dreaming?
My body no longer feels like some costume I couldn’t take off, I no longer see a stranger when I look into the mirror. I take care of myself. It feels so real, yet so unreal. I feel like I’m the one moving my arms. This couldn’t have happened, but it’s happening? I’m not there yet, but I can tell- there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and I can already feel the sun on my face, and the breeze by my ear.
Hey, old me- can you see me now? If I could cry, I think I would. I’m about to live a life I wouldn’t have dared to dream up when I was younger. I think, maybe, I’m about to become someone I’ve always wanted to be?
If I’m dreaming, I wish I could stay asleep forever. The rest of the world can wait.
<3
A larger image of my room plan!
Hiiii you're back! Missed you <3
Oh my goodness Mari!! I missed you so much too ( ；∀；)
Glad to be back!!
no idea if youve taken youre exam yet but i wish you luck!!!!
thank you for the spam, that rlly surprised me.. your blog is so pretty and fun to read through!!
i have my own exams to take in these next few weeks, so maybe our combined will to pass will result in it lol
good luck ^^
-🍊
Omg yes best of luck on your exams!! You've got this!! I spammed your blog because, well, it was really relatable... Glad we're friends, hehe (≧▽≦)
I'm imagining we're studying together like this ~♪
Pacing
I've got to get myself into order. Instead of having manic highs and depressive lows every couple weeks, I should really be balancing out whatever I'm feeling instead.
Been feeling not too great the past and pretty confused for the past while due to trying to make sense of social stuff but honestly today I'm feeling a little better
Also today I feel halfway okay about my appearance so I'm pretty glad about that
Wondering how summer school's going to be on monday
Caramel
no signal
I’ve done minimal work. 3 days remain until school
-
junian5522 liked this · 2 months ago -
caramelsprout reblogged this · 3 years ago
