Howdy. I'm A 26-year-old Degenerate Fakegirl Who Ought To Be Corrected. That Is To Say, Deluding Myself

13, 15, 17?

I’ll do the two less interesting ones first.

13 was something like “at what size can you not fit into panties” and idk I don’t think it has anything to do with my genitals, just the width of my hips. I can always just tuck.

17 was something like “what was the last girl you rated out of 10” uhhh i did that in literally my last reblog.

15 is the interesting one: How did girls in my school perceive me? Basically eccentric, autistic, sexually ambiguous theater kid. I wasn’t actually in theater anymore by the time I got to high school because I did pre-recorded productions so I guess technically i was a film kid? But same vibes. I’m autistic but like the type of autistic where I’m not just sociable but like, i dunno, people are kind of drawn to me. I’m good at working a crowd and networking and all that stuff but also I was seen as kind of weird because I was probably a little *too* charismatic sometimes. Also I had pretty bad mental health issues and everyone knew that so I think if anything a lot of people just felt sorry for me. I did have a girlfriend late in high school. I broke up with her because I figured I was asexual. Chat do you think I’m asexual? Oh also as I have mentioned before I was kind of like, half out of the closet that I was trans and that I’m intersex. I was pretty androgynous and towards the start of high school I was pretty openly a girl and had long hair and stuff but I think a lot of people still thought I was a boy, then roughly age 15-19 I tried way too hard to be male and it probably didn’t work. My voice has never been unambiguously male, and I don’t sound like a guy at all nowadays, but idk how people saw it back then. Probably a lot of people assumed i was gay. I wasn’t. Or at least not mlm, maybe I’m technically a lesbian.

Maybe I’m gender fluid or something idk, but really I want to be binary one way or the other, permanently.

chat am i a boy?

erm so I may have impulsively shaved my face which I know I said I wouldn’t do but to be perfectly honest having facial hair is just not practical for me. I can’t openly be detrans rn I’m not ready for that and I don’t know if I ever will be. I’ll keep skipping my hrt for the foreseeable future but I just have to shave.

Welp, today is the last day I’m allowed to shave before the limits on the detrans notes game kick in.

I’ll make myself pretty one last time before throwing away my femininity forever.

I would just not shave today either but I have some final business to take care of where I need to be a girl.

I also reached 100 notes so I do need to get a haircut soon.

What's the most depraved thing you've done for the sake of getting off?

A lot of my answers to this would be some variation of pretending to be someone I’m not. My biggest kink is transformation and that has led to me doing some catfishing or giving falsehoods about my identity.

I think specifically the thing I feel most guilty about is when I was doing some detrans rp and I sent a pic of my face and they *recognized me* (I know I keep alluding to my micro-celebrity but I’m really not that famous, still, sometimes people know who I am) and I, in my horny daze, decided it would be super hot if I pretended to be some random person catfishing as myself. This really hurt the person I had been talking to as they had previously seen me as kind of a role model and they got really upset and threatened to blackmail me. All that sent me into a deep depression and resulted in me not uploading any videos for months.

Not really a sexy answer, more of a sad one, but this blog is nothing if not honest.

The titties, the attitude. She's perfect.

me and who? (im the guy)

Normalize cute, cis-passing trans girls throwing it all away and becoming hairy, masculine, straight alpha males.

Normalize pretty trans icons that inspired a new generation of trans girls completely transforming into perverted, transphobic dude bros.

Normalize girls that started hrt early and never finished male puberty going off estrogen and letting their real adult body finally develop.

Yes this is from personal experience. Yes I used to be a slightly well known trans Internet personality. No, I'm certainly not anymore :)

and at this point it's much more than just a kink.

rawr, x3, pounces on you, yeah yeah that’s all well and good but where’s the passion? where’s the artistry? what aspect holds a mirror up to the audience and makes them confront their own biases and the blood on their own hands? I once killed a man in Reno just to get in the headspace to write my hit outlaw country-western song “I Killed a Man in Reno” but I’m past that phase. Now I hope to enter the hot space of 21st Century pre-apocalyptic furry-core laconicism. What does “rawr” mean? What does it mean to ME? This is my nirvana, this is my hero’s journey, this is my arc of the convenient. How are we supposed to perceive the voice of reason when my inner-dialogue kicked the bucket long before I got around to it? I killed a man in Reno.