1, 5, 8, 10, 11, 17, 19~

especially if it's cringe loser fandom stuff for pathetic gooners. If you can't tell from the pic I also like censored porn (and I like egirls)

I guess I’m sorry for a while now this blog has been less detrans kink and more detrans self-exploration. That’s maybe not what you’re here for. I think most likely I am gender fluid but I don’t know if maybe that’s just a step on a larger path towards being 100% male. After all I used to be very binary female and now I’m kinda 50/50 so it’s clearly trending in a male direction. I don’t think I *like* that exactly. I kind of detest the idea of becoming male. I’ve toyed with the idea of listening to sissy or bimbo hypnosis to reinforce my girliness.

This is pretty specific but if anyone knows of any hypnosis intended to turn you into an obnoxious manic egirl send it my way 😘

I might change the name of this blog to reflect my uncertainty.

rawr, x3, pounces on you, yeah yeah that’s all well and good but where’s the passion? where’s the artistry? what aspect holds a mirror up to the audience and makes them confront their own biases and the blood on their own hands? I once killed a man in Reno just to get in the headspace to write my hit outlaw country-western song “I Killed a Man in Reno” but I’m past that phase. Now I hope to enter the hot space of 21st Century pre-apocalyptic furry-core laconicism. What does “rawr” mean? What does it mean to ME? This is my nirvana, this is my hero’s journey, this is my arc of the convenient. How are we supposed to perceive the voice of reason when my inner-dialogue kicked the bucket long before I got around to it? I killed a man in Reno.

send me whatever cringe and gross stuff you want and ill jerk to it, preferrably women, to really drive home that I'm a straight man

Yo im horny wtf

genuinely please come in my dms and goon with me and try to get me to develop new weird kinks, especially if its cringe.

I took half my morning dose of hrt this morning, I guess with the intention of getting myself back on it? I haven’t taken my hrt for months. After taking it I quickly thought “How silly of me to think I could seriously commit to going back to being a girl.”

Fact is I can’t commit to either right now. I shaved my head 7 months ago and at this point my hair is kinda long… for a guy.

If I could commit to being a guy I’d go get a haircut and throw out my hrt, if I could commit to being a girl I’d take better care of myself and take my hrt everyday.

I’m doing neither. Genuinely could use someone throwing out my hrt and just shaving my head whether I like it or not.

This was kind of a lie ig lol

I’m definitely a girl right now and I am actively sabotaging any possible boyification.

I can’t wait for your guy self to win. Do you think it’ll be long before it happens?

At the moment I’m the girl self so I can say something from kind of a different angle.

When I want to be a guy I take a lot of steps towards masculinization and try to sabotage my “girl self”

When I’m a girl I never really get more feminine. I never try to fix things. In fact I still engage in this detrans stuff.

It’s like… I’m just genuinely not in the mindset of BEING a girl ever anymore. A lot of the time I WANT to be a girl, like I used to be, but I’m just… not one. If I try to be all feminine it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m crossdressing. I want so badly to go back to feeling comfortable as a girl, I just can’t seem to anymore.

So to answer your question, I’m not sure it will be long.

I’ve never really drank much… like at all, but recently I’ve been very interested in intox kink and gaining and alcohol is good for both of those.

To some extent the side of detrans kink I’ve been into is “getting worse”

I wanna become gross and fat and drunk and horny and trashy

Someone said this is self harm. It is. Hot right? Make me worse and worse and worse :)

I would like to talk to new people about intox kink, it’s something I’m sort of new to and want people to talk with about it.

At the moment I’m satisfied with being a girl I think btw :) that might change by the end of the night.

would you recommend detransitioning to other trans "girls"?

hmmm it depends. I think it would probably be good for a lot of them. I have three answers to this.

trans rights answer: chances are this kink is a complicated psychological response to insecurities you have about your gender and you should try to pick them apart and figure out what you really wanna do if you pull back the curtains of trauma and insecurity and such. There’s a chance maybe you should actually detransition! Gender is something that can change over time and maybe you used to be a trans girl and that is no longer the case. People evolve and it’s okay to decide being a girl is no longer for you.

internalized transphobia answer: You will never be a cis girl, and is being a “trans” girl even worth it? Either you don’t pass and like, okay ew, what are you doing thinking you can be a real girl?? Just be a guy. OR you pass and are pretty and stealth which like okay cutie you get to cosplay as a cis girl but how long is that really gonna last?

bioessentialist answer: i know you’ve got the idea in your head that that it doesn’t matter that you’re biologically male and that you can identify however you want but like c’mon dude 💀 it’s a little cliche to just say XY = Male but let’s be real, your genetics having programming in them that build your body to a specific design and every action you take to realize your mental gender is working against the very nature of your physical destiny. It’s exhausting isn’t it? Just give into your DNA! It’d look good on you.

that gif you reblogged… I need to be the girl worshiping your bulge

Then don't be shy, come in my dms and become my girl <3