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ofhelens​:

Matching his smile with one of her own, Helen laughs gently. “Hell, for sure. I have a feeling that Abigail Williams would have fit snugly in one of Shakespeare’s plays.” Probably played by Zahra. If Orson had his way. If Heidi was casting - who knew? The uncertainty of Alderidge, which had always been such a constant, made her anxious. Nudging gently into him, she nodded in thanks. “I don’t deserve you.”  She wasn’t sure any of them deserved Nate. Had she followed that thought through to its completion, she might have felt guilt that they were the one forced to witness her witchcraft…but as it was, she dropped it; distracted by the mention of Jonah. “No?” Puzzled, she knotted her eyebrows. “Did he…did he do something?”

it was one thing to banter with helen about heidi or the play, but then just like that, nate decides to switch up the conversation on her - a part of him wondered if it was the right time. but when would this opportunity come up again? he raises an eyebrow for a moment at helen’s response  - did jonah do something? well, damn. it’s not like it’s any of his business, but in nate’s experience, that kind of question only came from someone who, even in the slightest way, had already assumed he was guilty. it was a nicer way of saying ‘what did you do?’ and - shit, now he’s definitely reading too much into it. nate shakes his head, “nah, he didn’t do anything. it’s just the week of auditions he had a really...rough morning, and i might’ve cried and tried stuffing his face with waffles, and i was just curious if you had heard from him. that’s all.” nate shrugs and then tries to offer helen another smile to diffuse any of her worries. “even though we live together, i feel like we’ve been like two ships passing in the night.”

hudscnwilliams​:

hudson wished things weren’t weird between the two, but he couldn’t help it. it was his fault after all, not nate’s. hudson knew he really had no right to be distant considering he and zahra had pretty much the same sort of set up nate and teddy had, but…well, he was jealous, okay? he was, even if he would never admit it to anyone else. most days he wouldn’t even admit it to himself. and then there was the fact that hudson and jason hated one another; that certainly kept the two from being close. it was hudson’s fault that he and nate weren’t friends anymore, and as much as he wanted to fix that…he wasn’t sure he could. 

laughing awkwardly, hudson set the rest of the books in his hands down. “thank you. and congrats to you, being a witch sounds awesome.” that would certainly be a fun role, and he had no doubt nate would crush it. that was the sort of role he was born for, honestly. “uh, sort of. julian and i went out to get drinks. that’s really it, though,” hudson said, leaning against the bookshelf. this was probably the longest conversation they’d had in months, and it was going…not terrible? that had to count for something, right?

.

.

holy shit, this was probably the longest conversation they’d had in months, and it wasn’t crashing and burning. nate didn’t know what to do with himself. a part of him wanted to skip over the small talk and get straight to the elephant in the room, but he also wasn’t entirely stupid and he knew that his recent hooking up with teddy definitely had something to do with it. did hudson think nate was taking advantage of his best friend, or something? either way, he didn’t feel like explaining himself. or didn’t seem a reason to explain anything, actually. but what if hudson felt weird because of jason? suddenly nate wondered if he should even be trying to salvage what bit of friendship they might’ve still had. he was definitely overthinking this, right? 

“oh, nice - where to? the anchor? teddy and i were just there...!” truthfully, the words came out before he even knew what he was saying. nate’s gaze falls down to the table as he peels back the hard cover of a book that’s thick and smells like it hasn’t been opened in at least a decade. “so, uh...i’m doing some creepy dramaturgical work on witches and rituals. what brings you in here? shit, don’t tell me we have a text study paper due.”

hudscnwilliams​:

hudson’s first love in life was reading. it was his safe haven, the thing he turned to when the rest of the world didn’t make any sense to him. books were an escape - and right now, that’s just what he needed. he was thrilled to be macbeth, of course, but he was still a bit stuck in his own head over jonah’s words. he knew he needed to let them go; they were the petty words of a jealous asshole who just wanted to make him miserable. and by being upset, hudson was letting jonah win. still, he needed some time to clear his head, and the best place to do that was the library. as he entered the room, he paused as books began falling all around nate. “shit,” he murmured, leaping to action and picking a few up off the ground. “you sure? that looked pretty rough.” hudson winced, putting a book back on the shelf. he wasn’t entirely sure how to act around nate these days; things were a bit strained. 

.

nate hears hudson before he sees him, and in this moment, he kinda wishes it was someone else who was there to witness his clumsiness. there were no hard feelings on nate’s part when it came to hudson, but yeah, they hadn’t been the closest of friends in a while. and for once, nate didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. instead, he did what he was always good at, which was redirecting. “seriously, i’m fine. but for you,” nate stands up to curtsy in hudson’s direction, “hail to thee, thane of glamis. a congratulations are in order.” nate puts the rest of the books back except for one and offers his most genuine smile, “you’re gonna kill it, obviously.” nate moves to a nearby table where he’s set up, a small stack of books already there, each focused on the supernatural world. nate glances at hudson. “have you had a chance to celebrate yet?” as long as they kept the conversation light, this would be easy. right? 

.

Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough

text → nate & zahra

zahra: first witch! that's HOT

zahra: you've already cursed josephine in the group chat, so i'd say you're perfect for the role

nate: fuck yeahhh! hey congrats to YOU btw - how ya feel about banquo?

nate: lmao i mean, did i lie?????

nate: also, what do u think about macbeth as a crime noir? a 60s psychedelic trip? a pirate fantasy? cause i have FEELINGS

if you could trade places with any of the fourth years, who would it be?

“ugh, this is so hard, but lemme just say that i thought a lot about who’d i want to take my place because i could trade places with any of these theatre nerds and have a fuckin’ ball. but who would really benefit from having mine? and that’s how i landed on my pride and joy, jason palmer. is this cheating because he’s my brother? i don’t care. i would want him to just let loose if we traded places; i’ve already done an alphabet’s worth of drugs and broken some laws; like, there isn’t much he could do that would surprise me. i just feel like he’s holding back on me all the time, and...honestly, i feel guilty about that. a lot. especially because i know i wouldn’t be here without him.”

a pause.

“ha. but yeah, if we got caught up in some freaky friday shit, i would totally facebook stalk our old classmates and tell some people off, tell hudson and helen i’m in love with them both to (hopefully) start some drama, audition for the lead role in our last production just to prove a point, call up mom and pops to announce i’m cutting them off and moving to France after graduation, and then snoop in mathias’ room to find evidence that he definitely killed orson so that i wouldn’t have to worry about the watch anymore.”

@pvlmer

where: the castle; when: post-shit show that was act V, scene iii, in the wee hours of the morn.; who: @pvlmer​

watching act V, scene iii was a surreal experience — one minute he was wrapped up in teddy’s performance as romeo, waiting for that sweet final line before The Death, and the next — “murderer!” ripped into the room and nate felt his heart drop into his ass. he had wanted a lot of things in that moment, but his first thought was to get to jason. between all the commotion and the general consensus amongst his peers to get the fuck out of there no matter what, not long after, nate finds himself outside of jason’s room, knocking as hard as he can. rhythmically, though.

while it hadn’t been very long since they had scrambled off, nate had this feeling that if he didn’t talk to jason soon, it would be too late. too late for what, he didn’t know — but the words “orson is dead because of all of you” kept ringing in his head. while nate doesn’t feel so guilty about the part he played in orson’s death, that doesn’t help him feel any better about everyone else; especially jason. the images replay: orson’s body, the blood, the watch, the red and blue lights — nate was spooked. and if was thinking clearly, he would’ve caught up to jason the second they left instead of losing him in the rush of it all. but with five texts and two calls which each ended in incoherent gibberish on nate’s part, he was sure jason got the hint  — things were urgent. so there nate is, knocking even harder. ....wait, did jason even tell him that he was back in his room?

“shit!” nate pulls his phone out of his pocket and pulls up his recent call list. he calls jason again, because the thought of his brother getting cornered by some pissed off liberal arts majors is enough to send nate’s anxiety skyrocketing into the stratosphere. “pick up the phone, dammit. pick up the phone.” 

bxstvrd​:

DATE & TIME: around twilight….u know for the Ambiance LOCATION:Outside the FAB AVAILABILITY: Taken @aldysfool​

Jonah hated rehearsals with everything in him this semester. Hated being relegated to the background, hated watching other people twirl through the spotlight, hated that he would never again feel the golden hue grace his face at Alderidge. He’d snuck out early for a smoke, knowing that he wouldn’t be in anymore scenes, but he turned, surprised, when he heard the doors of the FAB swing open behind him, feeling a certain awkwardness when he realized it was Nate coming out to break his solitude. Because living with Nate, he could avoid him easily, had mastered the art of hiding in plain sight from both of his roommates, but out here, in the open, he couldn’t avoid him… and he was even more surprised to find he didn’t want to.

There was a surprising amount of discomfort when his desire to stay brushed up against his instinct to run, and it made Jonah irritable when he didn’t want to be. He caught himself, thankfully, before he lashed out and said something he didn’t mean, but he did say, brusquely, without looking at Nate, “I hope you didn’t come out here because of me. I was fine before, and I’ll keep being fine after you’re gone, so… there’s no need to check on me. And if you didn’t follow me out here, well, great, but there’s plenty of space that you can occupy that’s not also in my space. So.”

.

rehearsal nate is a different kind of nate; less partying, less recreational drug usage, less deviant behavior. except on the weekends. and yeah, macbeth is fun and he’s actually not hating rehearsal. even being onstage with grace isn’t the total soul sucker it used to be when orson was around. heidi felt different as a director, and nate appreciated her willingness to play along with his antics — to some degree, at least. there came a point in rehearsal when he wouldn’t be needed for a while, and while nate normally loved to sit in the back of the rehearsal space and doodle in his script while watching his fellow thespians work on stage, his phone buzzes and he doesn’t even look at it to know what time it is. he grabs his backpack and heads towards the doors. 

when he opens them and sees jonah, nate smiles for only a moment before it’s replaced by a raised eyebrow. the moodiness on this one. nate rolls his eyes, “somebody’s in a good mood. ...anyway, you don’t own the sidewalk and secretly we both know you enjoy my company, so there’s that. now if you’ll excuse me,” he looks around, “i have a date.” the lights around the FAB aren’t bright enough to completely illuminate the surrounding grounds, but nate is sure that he’ll find what he’s looking for if he stands here long enough. 

“quick, random question: you allergic to small, furry animals?”

bxstvrd​:

Jonah sometimes wished he’d just… left Nate there. It was a cruel thought, an intrusive one, and he could never manage to take himself to the end of that thought exercise, always snapping himself back to the reality where he’d sat with his classmate, cup of water in hand, staying the night until he was sure, sure that Nate would be okay. To this day, he had no idea why he’d done that. No idea where that kindness had come from within him. In the time since, he had decided, with a bitter sort of finality, it must have been a fluke. There was nothing else he could point to concretely that proved otherwise.

“Then let me ask a different question,” he said, finally meeting Nate’s gaze and leveling him with a sharp stare. “What’s in this for you?”

He took a deep breath, flicking his eyes back down, and he began picking at the threads of his duvet as he spoke. “People don’t just… do nice things. Not in my experience anyways. I helped you because I didn’t want to have to contend with the guilt of what could have happened if I didn’t. Not because I care. Not because I’m a good person. Probably because I’m a categorically bad person who cannot handle yet more evidence of that thrown back into my face. So, on top of being an ass, I guess I’m also a coward.”

And then, if only to make sure that Nate wasn’t going to have him committed, he added, “This happens before every audition. It’s normal. I promise.” Or at least, as normal as the crushing weight of his own depression, sitting on his chest like a ten ton gorilla, could be.

His stomach grumbled. Reluctantly, he took the banana, peeling it from the butt end and breaking off a chunk before popping it into his mouth.

nate thinks for a moment, because jonah asks him a good question, and he just doesn’t know if what immediately comes to mind is the right answer. he wants to go back and forth with jonah about how there are people in the world who just want to help. how some people actually accept their faults head-on and put in the work to become better versions of themselves. how some people are just good. end of story. but the more nate sits here and listens to jonah, the more he thinks none of that would matter. especially coming from him. so nate finishes his waffle and reaches for the bottle of OJ.

“y’know, i don’t think anybody’s a good person. i feel like most people are just trying their best not to fuck things up on a daily basis. and depending on the day, hour to hour, we’re lucky to get by.” nate shrugs.

“and i used to feel like you do. all the time. and spoiler alert, no amount of party drugs or vodka could help chase those thoughts away; in fact, they might’ve induced an episode or two. or three,” nate sits in the memories for a second, although they’re uncomfortable to him now; they feel a lifetime away. “but i let the people who were in my corner fight for me. take care of me. ...they saved my life.” nate takes a deep breath, because it’s hard to think about the person he used to be. the person he still is. the person he wants to be.

and now, looking at jonah, nate can’t help but wonder if there’s some alternate universe where they’ve switched places. because if nate didn’t have his parents or even jason, he’s sure he would be in a similiar position to jonah. and it scares him to think he wouldn’t be strong enough to last this long. but then he imagines a silly, happy jonah and it’s weird enough that he chooses to focus on that instead. nate grins.

“but you’re right. we’re not close. not even friends yet. .......and we won’t ever be, if you keep eating bananas like that. it’s a phallic fruit, but we’re not in the seventh grade, jonah. embrace the phallus and eat it like a fuckin’ normal person, or i’m never eating breakfast with you again.”