Experience Tumblr Like Never Before
Bart has perfect photographic memory, which means he remembers everything he hears, sees or reads exactly how it was. So, technically, if he were to read language translation books, he'd be able to understand every language. Pronounciation would be hard for him sure, but he could understand and write in any language if he had enough focus to read the scripts. I'm not crazy, he totally could be a human translator for everything. He'd be every language teachers favourite.
Okay, so let me get this all straight for those of you who don't know comic Bart or at all: Bart Allen's dad was gone and his mom couldn't take care of him constantly being on the run, so he was basically a lab rat for a scientific facility since... b i r t h just about. He was put into VR as a sort of sedative and to keep up with his vastily progressive mind and body since he aged about 200x the average person. (By the time he was three he looked 13) But in a way, speedsters have this kinda "dog years" effect in that everything in the world for them is slowed because that's just the way they see everything. So, in technicallity, while the scientists only had him for three or four years, to Bart it was 16??? And don't get me stArTed on the physical and pshycological effect of that. He never saw another living person until he was 16. He never had any kind of physical contact until he was 16. Could you even imagine?? No wonder the kid is so touch starved. (I feel like him and Kon bond over the fact they're younger than their bodies progression but besides the point). So he's been in this facility for 16 years, spends all that time in a Virtual false reality where his only friend was some weird VR program named Dox, which is probably symbolysim for the doctors that experimented on him when he was put under, and which he named his dog after, he's never felt affection or talked to people outside of that, never got a chance to meet his parents, has more villain relatives then Hero and STILL didn't go to the dark side after THAT?? Can still show off the best fake smiles and persona front after all that?? Had to endure more than MOST EVERYONE in only THREE YEARS which was actually SIXTEEN and STILL is GOOD?? You cannot tell me that this is the bravest kid you've ever read about, you cannot. And even with all that, he finds it in himself to forgive many of those who've wronged him. Listen, Bart Allen is by far the most amazing character I know and you can fight me on this. He's been through more than all the Batfam COMBINED. If he wasn't so bright and cheery, I bet Bruce would've adopted him. (another thing I forgot to mention, the fact Wally practically gave Bart away to Max and made the kid feel unwanted, even though Max became like the only crutch Bart had/a father figure, not even Barry wanted him when he returned from the dead. Assholes) He's died FIVE TIMES and he's still a hero. He's experienced this over and over, and still is a hero. He left his home and practically erased it's existence so now he's a time anomaly, who doesn't really fit in anywhere in time, and is still a hero. Fuck your favourite angst characters, Bart Allen takes all the cake.
#Bruce meets his match
Bruce: *staring at Bart from across the interrogation table*
Bart: *Kicking his legs and staring back*
Bruce: So, Impulse-
Bart: No.
Bruce: No?
Bart: You were gonna question me. I say no.
Bruce: You didn't hear the question.
Bart: Okay, go ahead.
Bruce: So-
Bart: No.
Bruce: *disgruntled bat noises*
Bart: *staring with a blank expression*
~ two hours later ~
Bruce: *dangling Bart upside down from the ceiling*
Bart: And then I was all like, "No way, you can't do that. That's a no-no, even in my book", and then Tim was like "I-"
Bruce: Enough, please stop. Stop talking. Leave. I'm done.
Bart: *phases out of the ties* thanks. *walks out*
Diana, on the other side of the one sided glass: I've never seen him give up so quickly.
Hal: Kids' got spunk.
Clark: We should go before Bruce tries to vent on one of us.
Bart: HAHAHAHAHHAAH YOU ALL SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE BUT LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!!!!!
Max: What's the kid on about?
Wally: Bart made a theory that he could use Chicken Whizzees as his lightning rod.
Barry: sighs heavily and it worked...
Bart: On a table laughing hysterically with a bag of Chicken whizzees in each hand THE FUTURE IS FOOD!!!
[in the Queer Muskateers groupchat]
Bart: sends a tiktok of a duck in a bathtub
Bart: Oh sh*t it's 3 AM
Bart: My bad
Tim: That's adorable
Bart: GO TO BED
Bart Allen: Okay, this is it. I'm battling a Evil supervillain trying to kill me and probably my worstest enemy.
Bart's mind: Make casual conversation and playful banter the entire time.
Bart:
Bart: Let's do it.
Thad: C'mon! We have to do this!
Wally: No.
Bart: Are you crazy?
Thad: Why?
Wally: Have you not been yelled at by Iris yet?
Thad: I'm not scared of her.
Bart: So that's a "no" then.