First Day Of Not Having A Death Dream With Taking Melatonin! I’m #1 ☝️🤭

Can't Catch Me Now is markwardo coded

fuck labels my sexuality is just Dev Patel using his teeth to drive a knife into a mans throat

Stapled my thumb today with a handheld stapler. And the only thing I see in the darkness is the polar bear Christmas window shadow. He is waiting.

Financial aid and loans is literally the worst part of the college experience. I would rather get mugged in the dark of the night if it meant I could forget my Barc account information.

The only thing to keep my company is my multiple tabs of AO3 and the one tab of strawberry shortcake crochet hats

Bob belcher talking to his Turkey baster is EXACTLY like SpongeBob and spatula.

Had a long intense dream of making a sandwich in which most of it consisted of me buttering the warm bread

Glasses people love to make you try their glasses on to see how fucked up their eyes are. It's a sign of respect in their culture.

Thinking about how young me BEGGED my mom to let me have this hair. The side bang was my foil for most of my life.