For The Past Few Years I've Always Cried Alone, In My Bathroom To Be Specific. I Cry Alone Not Because

Dude you were too harsh with your callout😭😭

Look at you. Browsing the same four apps over and over again looking to find your parents' love that you never got, from strangers' validation.

My rant on Yuri after watching amnse

I absolutely loved this series so much I am waiting for the next season. I just finished watching the 16th episode and I'm just so angry at Yuri. I just HATE him, like you don't deserve to be sad during the countdown because Jay Jay wasn't there. You literally forced her into a marriage without even asking for her consent, you don't even care about her feelings because in your mind you think you're saving her from Keifer but the only person she needs saving is YOU.

I mean she even confessed to you that she likes Keifer but you're still putting her in a difficult position by again and again mentioning you love her (I don't think you do .....cuz you're discarding her feelings). Yuri is trying to play it of as if he gave up Ella for Keifer but honey I bet you probably weren't even an option for her.

And to me it just looks like a competition, like he's desperate to have Jay Jay so that he doesn't loses the girl to Keifer AGAIN. I mean he literally compared Keifer to his father in his face so that he could make him back off. YURI, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE A LOVER OR A FRIEND.

Wow.....never knew overthinking could be so pretty

So true

the issue with 2:15 is thats already 4 pm

I started a productivity challenge for myself a few days ago....I was barely conpleting it. Only able to tick off 1 item off my to do list. I was still procrastinating watching tv shows, reading fanfictions, daydreaming. I still started this challenge of productivity, I was falsely trying to convince myself that I'll make it, that atleast I started with baby steps such as thinking about this, then posting the first 3 days of it on tumblr. But the real reason that I did this was because I was afraid I was gonna fail my physics exam. This was the fear inside me that I was trying to hide from myself and the people around me. And that is exactly what happened to me, I failed my physics exam and you wanna know the worst part? I kind of don't really care. And my parents didn't care either. Not in the way that you're thinking but last year in 10th grade, I was always being pushed to do best and my mom did so much for me, she used to teach me but since 11th I've heard it from so many people that 11th goes bad for every pcm kid and everyone suffers a downfall from 10th to 11th. But I literally failed. I went from getting atleast 95% to not even passing. That's how low I have fallen and i haven't cried yet. I feel like since I've been exposed to too many people saying that bad grades are literally a cannon event in 11th, I've grown numb to getting low score. Even though I'm realising this and writing it out, I'm still not feeling the sadness and the determination I know I would have felt in 10th and this is so sad. It is so disheartening. And tbh I'm clueless on how to study now. I have 2 days for the retest. A part of me is still sad about the indifference and the lack of emotion I'm showing regarding this.

why does my mother always make me feel guilty about wanting to eat something sweet after my meal. and it's not as if I'm demanding a desert. I literally just want one bite of something sweet and she just rants out when i try to eat a few raisins or like a piece of mango or watermelon or maybe just one biscuit.

DATE : 10-3-25

Aim: IIT Bombay,CS

2/100

I started my day with watching my fav series for like 4 hours straight after that I had my lunch and then I got to work. I completed 1 whole chapter of maths.

5hr 3min on ypt

I need to study because I want to get in the best college/ university so that I can get good placement and starting package can be good also to have sophisticated and quality education compared to the rest of the people. I really want to be the girl who would make it above average. I want to be that girl who is disgustingly overeducated so that the second anyone has a question I am the first person they turn to and I am able to answer that question surely without a doubt on myself or my answer. I want to be appreciated and known for my knowledge because that is also the one thing that no one could ever take from me. tbh i just want to be that person which other parents use an example infront of their kids.(I swear this is the Indian in me)

I needed this

✧˖° how to stop self-sabotaging your success (and finally commit to doing the work)

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hi angel, mindy here. let’s talk. because i know you want this. you want to be that student who shows up for herself/himself. you want to stop making excuses. you want to feel proud of yourself when this is all over. so why do you keep putting up roadblocks in your own way? why do you keep pulling yourself away from the very thing you know you need to do?

self-sabotage is not laziness. it’s fear, it’s perfectionism, it’s comfort, it’s this deep, quiet resistance that whispers, what if i try and fail? so you never fully try.

but guess what? we’re breaking that cycle today. right now.

✧˖° the illusion of "i’ll do it later"

procrastination is a liar with a pretty voice. it tells you that you’ll do it when you feel more ready, when you’re in a better mood, when the circumstances are just right. but the truth? later is just a hiding place.

so next time you catch yourself saying “i’ll do it tonight” or “tomorrow is better,” stop. ask yourself: what makes later better than now? if you don’t have a solid answer, it’s just fear talking.

✧˖° you’re scared of what happens when you actually succeed

self-sabotage isn’t just about the fear of failure. sometimes, it’s the fear of what happens when you actually get what you’ve been working toward.

because success? means expectations. it means proving that you can do it again. it means stepping into a version of yourself that no longer has excuses. and that can be terrifying.

but here’s the truth: the version of you that’s waiting on the other side of this work? she’s not a stranger. she’s still you, just with more proof of what you’re capable of.

✧˖° your study habits are built around guilt, not discipline

if studying always feels like punishment, if your entire academic routine is built around the feeling of “i should be doing more,” of course you’re going to resist it.

so let’s shift this. instead of studying because you have to, start studying because you deserve to succeed. because you want to feel prepared. because the version of you who walks into that exam room with confidence? deserves to exist.

make studying feel like an investment, not a punishment. romanticize it. find ways to make it an experience you don’t want to run from. pinterest is your best friend, studytok is your motivator and me (@glowettee is your mentor 😉)

✧˖° you wait for motivation instead of creating discipline

motivation is like a guest who shows up unannounced. sometimes, she arrives when you least expect it, and sometimes, she ghosts you for weeks.

discipline, though? discipline is the friend who always shows up. she’s reliable. she doesn’t wait until she “feels like it.” she just does it, because that’s who she is.

so stop waiting for motivation to hit like some kind of magical burst of energy. instead, set up routines that make studying non-negotiable. that make it feel natural. like brushing your teeth, like making your bed, like second nature.

✧˖° self-sabotage is a pattern. patterns can be broken.

if you’ve spent years avoiding hard work, of course your brain is going to resist when you suddenly decide to commit. your instincts are wired to avoid discomfort.

but the good news? self-sabotage is a learned habit. which means you can unlearn it. every time you choose to sit down and do the work, even when you don’t want to, you are rewriting your patterns. you are proving to yourself that you are not the same person who gives up.

and eventually? showing up for yourself won’t feel like a battle anymore. it will feel normal. it will feel like who you are.

✧˖° this is the moment you choose differently

look, you can close this post and keep doing what you’ve always done. you can keep waiting for some magical day when it all feels easy. or you can make a decision, right here, right now.

you can decide that you are done getting in your own way. that you are done letting fear win. that you are done delaying your own success.

because the version of you who is already succeeding? she is not far away. she is right there, waiting for you to step into her shoes.

it’s time, angel. show up.

love you all sooo much <3 i hope this post can help you understand; self-discipline > motivation

with love, mindy

the very first step of getting over your fears is to have them. just like the first step to getting better is being worse than you wish you were, and the first step to becoming who you want to be is being who you are. don’t let your shame back you into a corner. you can only grow from here.