I Fuckin Love Sitting. If A Task That’s Traditionally Done Standing Can Also Be Done Sitting? My Ass

Suicide doesn't sound so scary anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️

i don't feel well and i'd really like to hurt myself

1/28 day

on Tuesdays I have an early start to my day as my first class starts at 8:15, im one of the first people to get there however so that I can review any notes from the class before and so that I can answer my emails. my class went by soooo slow today, it ended early though so that's a nice change. normally we end at 9:20. I had time to go and grab a small breakfast, and as much as id like to skip breakfast ive got a busy day ahead of me so I needed some calories this morning to keep my blood sugar up.

the only downside about going to my colleges cafe is that they don't say how many calories are in what they serve :(

anyway, I had a quick FaceTime with my mom while she was a work to talk about my finical aid since that fuckface of a president that we have now decided to freeze all federal aid to colleges. we think that I should be ok for this semester but next year will probably be a struggle. this summer to hopefully save some money im going to be working full time, and even then I won't have enough saved up.

after breakfast I'll be having a meeting with student success to talk about how the start of my semester is going and to chat about possibly starting tutoring. I'm struggling in my history class since all the professor does is talk and doesn't give us anything to study/ take notes on.

after that meeting I don't have class until 2, which gives me time to work on some reading for another class.

Your fifth most recent emoji is what your soulmate thinks about you

Photo haul of college

I have sooo many photos of my first semester, this isn’t even half of it

Tumblr is not a social media, it's an online psych ward.

winter photos

I’m officially going back to my college dorm this Saturday so you know what that means, fasting without my family pressuring me to eat every chance they get!

ngl I really was glad that I could visit my family for a while school way getting to be too much for me during finals so this was a great time to reset.

I feel this way a lot, especially as someone who never thought I was gonna live to be 18. But it’s crazy to me realizing that I was 13 and 14 when I really thought that way, honestly I still do feel that way. And the only thing keeping me going on in this shitty country is that it would cause a whole lotta problems for my family if I did die, especially this far along in my life.

sometimes the feeling of wanting to unalive myself are super strong, other times it sneaks up on me- especially when someone says something that might not seem so big to them, but actually really hurts me, happens and next thing I now I’m suddenly super quiet and thinking that they would be a lot happier if I wasn’t in the picture-.

sometimes i just get hit with the feeling

i wasnt supposed to make it this far

also what do i do now

Where do i go if nowhere and no-one feels like home anymore